Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

[BertieBotts]

I've lost count of what number we were on, sorry.

Also there seems to be another BFP after MC thread running, but it has all different people on it so I didn't know if we should crash theirs or just have two running at once...

@beanhunter great news, I'm really pleased for you.

@babygirl92 congratulations and yes completely normal. @Mrsssmith11 congratulations on your new pregnancy. Fingers crossed for you both this time. I'm sorry you've both been through your losses, it's horrible at any stage.

@crazyhorseylady I hope all goes well for you at the scan and that the cramps ease.

@UnicornsandRainbows1 glad all is going well for you!

Really anxious today, the most anxious I’ve been.

Haven’t had any back pain or cramps r a couple of days but they’ve started returning today. Very mild but still there. I know it’s very normal but the signs of my MMC were cramps coming back and mild backache so I think that’s in the back of my mind. I’m going to the loo and inspecting the loo roll every time and convincing myself that there’s the tiniest speck of blood or that it’s tinged with red or pink. It isn’t of course it’s just my mind whirring!

I’m waiting for the EPAU to send me a scan appointment and an appointment with the consultant in a couple of weeks time but I’m anxious about scans too thanks to my MMC at 9+3. All I keep thinking is that if it was a chromosomal abnormality then why didn’t I have an earlier MC at 4/5/6 weeks like the one previous. Why did it live to 9 weeks after we’d seen a heartbeat and then die? There must be something wrong with me for this to happen.

Sorry ladies, I just need to vent. OH won’t let me speak like his as he says it’s morbid and fruitless.

Hi lovely ladies, can I join? I've been lurking for a while and told myself I'd only join if I got to the second trimester, but I'm so anxious that this thread might help keep me sane.

I'm 6 weeks today... It's been a long journey: a MC in Jan 2017 a few days after seeing a strong heartbeat at 10 weeks, followed by 20 months of infertility (or subfertility as my doctor calls it...). After four rounds of ovulation induction (Clomid and then injections), I'm finally pregnant again. My anxiety reached an all-time high today as I haven't had any nausea in the last couple of days after struggling a bit last week My first scan will be next Thursday, at the fertility clinic. I'm dreading it but at the same time I want to know what's happening. After all the heartache I experienced wih my MC, I know I won't feel reassured if things look okay.

I recognise a few names from the TTC after miscarriage thread (was only there for a short while as my infertility diagnosis was just too much for me to bear) and I'm so, so happy to see your pregnancies are progressing nicely.

Iswallowtoothpaste, so sorry you're feeling so anxious today. No wise words as I'm also struggling. Just wanted to let you know I'm here if you want to chat to someone in private. Big hug!

@Iswallowtoothpaste and @looking4hope I'm sorry you're both struggling, the first trimester is so tough, all the not knowing and anxiety that involves. My only coping technique was to keep busy so my mind was preoccupied with other things (conveniently fell during our house renovation this time so that was a good distraction!). I also fall into the denial camp and just refused to talk about it, refused booking in appointment and wouldn't let them tell me a due date! Gosh typing that I realise I'm a nightmare!
As with both of you I had also seen a heartbeat and then babies stopped growing at 8-9weeks with MMCs happening at 11ish weeks each time so didn't feel reassured at all by the early scans until I reached 10weeks.
Even now at 21weeks I still feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop but can feel movements now to ease my worrying a bit.

Just hang in there, there's not much else we can do. I know that the end result will be worth all the worrying and heartbreak.

Labmum thank you so much for the message, it helps so much. We're going away this weekend to try to relax a bit. I occasionally do some extra work (freelance) to keep my mind busy, but anxiety always finds a way to come back... This waiting is so bloody hard. Congratulations on your pregnany! Hope you're feeling okay, enjoy the wriggly baby movements

Bean great news, not long until 12 week scan now! Iswallowtoothpaste pleased to see you back again, hopefully this is your lucky time. I was a basket case during this whole first trimester and drove my husband mad I think.

looking4hope fingers crossed for a good scan next week. In my experience of 2 successful first trimesters and 3 first trimester losses symptoms mean very little. My worst and most persistent nausea was with mmc.

Labmum I’m still constantly worrying about movement etc. Think it’s natural after what we’ve all been through.

I’m sorry for anyone I’ve missed, my hip pain is currently horrendous and I’m sleeping very little!

@Miami81 thinking of you over the last week.

@Iswallowtoothpaste I'm sorry you're going through so much anxiety. I think it's for our partners to understand the need to vent and don't get it sometimes.

@looking4hope congratulations on your bfp after the crazy road you've been down so far. Fingers crossed for a healthy pregnancy.

@Paranormalbouquet I hope your hip pain eases.

@Paranormal, so good to see you too! And I’m pleased that everything is going well (barring the hip pain)

I’m a bit better now. Pains have eased again, tiredness, nausea and sore boobs were in full swing this afty, seems to have diminished for now (apart from the tiredness) but they do tend to come and go anyhow!

Well I’m wide awake again and have been since 5am.

Had an absolutely awful dream about losing the baby, quite vivid. I know it sounds stupid but I dreamt I had wiped and seen blood last time and a couple of days later I did and later learned I’d had a MC so it’s really playing on my mind.

On a positive note, my boobs are very sore and my stomach is churning ( back aching a bit too)

Hate dreams, was just starting to calm down after being so anxious yesterday as well.

Thanks @Paranormalbouquet it's been a rough week, but we got through it. We just spent time thinking about dd and the couple of days we had to make memories with her. It's a little intense going straight from her birthday/ anniversary into baby loss awareness month, but it does mean there are a few nice events on around us at the moment which help too. We went to a beautiful butterfly release on Sunday which felt like a lovely way to end her birthday week.
Ladies in first trimester it's really rough. I'm 16 wks now and I honestly don't know how I got through it other then trying not to think about it. I found you tube positive affirmation type mindfulness stuff really good at helping with the bad dreams. @beanhunter glad to see everything progressing well for you at the moment. Is your scan on Friday?

Yes scan Friday. Day 7 in hospital Today with sickness. Hoping to escape soon.

@beanhunter I feel for you. Hope they’re getting you sorted and rehydrated.

@beanhunter at least you're getting plenty of rest and being looked after. I hope they let you go home soon.

Iswallowtoothpaste I’ve had loads of dreams like that during this pregnancy. I think it’s totally normal when you’ve had losses before. Bean I hope you get out soon and have lasting relief. Good luck with scan.

Miami I can’t imagine how hard the birthday/anniversary must have been. The butterfly release sounds beautiful. I’m glad you had some time with her after she was born, a friend of mine who lost her daughter at a similar time in pregnancy a few years ago has devoted a lot of time into fundraising for cold cots and bereavement suites since as she and her husband so treasured the time with their little one.

@Paranormal, thank you for the reassurance, hopefully it’s just my subconscious picking up my fear and anxiety and not some sort of prophecy!

Well, on a positive note, I’m a good few days passed the point of my first MC. Little victories. 6 weeks on Saturday and I’m fully expecting to have some sort of a bleed between then and 7 weeks (as with both pregnancies I’ve had that had gotten this far this has happened - everything was still fine when I went for scans though) will still massively freak out and cry when it happens!

Just had my c section booked for 7th November at 39 weeks.
Seems like this has been such a journey and still a little while to go but hope it can give u all some hope.
1 dd
1 ectopic.
2 mc before 12 weeks
X

Iswallowtoothpaste every day helps. Like Miami I find meditation apps and podcasts can help. I'm actually listening to a CBT style podcast most days (aimed at my profession but lots of similar ones) and find it's good for my mental health which took a bit of a beating over the past year and a half!

Putty it's all getting very real! My section will be just over a month after yours (at 38 weeks) assuming nothing else changes.

Paranormalbouquet and HidCat thank you for your messages. Feeling a bit better today but it will probably hit me again soon. Basket case describes me so well

Paranormalbouquet sorry to hear about your hip pain, hope it eases soon. You'll have a December baby, so exciting!

Iswallowtoothpaste Sorry you were awake so early... I've been having all sorts of weird dreams this time, including losing the baby. It's probably because we worry so much. Good news your symptoms are back, just try to keep busy and sleep when you can. Afternoon naps at the weekend always make me feel better. Keeping everything crossed for you.

Miami81 I remember you from the TTC thread and have been thinking of you as well. So happy to see you here! A 10w loss nearly broke me so can't even imagine how hard last week has been for you. The butterfly release sounds so lovely. Glad there are nice events close to you to help you both through this.

beanhunter hope you managed to get plenty of rest and you're well taken care of. Best of luck for your scan on Friday, will be thinking of you.

intelligentPutty it certainly gives us hope, thank you. Best of luck for your C-section, exciting you have a date.

How is everyone doing?

Managed to get to bed incredibly early on Wednesday and feel much better since!

Bean hope scan today goes well.

Hi all, been so busy recently thought i'd better come in and catch up on everyones news!

labmum cobalt congrats on recent scans and finding out you're having girls - that's so exciting.
vuduvu i haven't found out this time - its my third and last and i wasn't worried either way so decided to wait. my OH wanted to know but i got the final say!
Yay para for the third trimester!
toothpaste so happy to see you back here - the worry is insane. please do come on here, we are here for you in those first few weeks.

putty you are a few weeks ahead of me! I expect an elcs around mid november sometime!

bean best of luck for your scan today. sorry you've been in for so long.

Those that have just joined too, welcome, it's always better to be on here saying how you feel - those of us lucky enough to have made it further on really remember those first few weeks and how tough it is to stay sane, not constantly knicker check, poke boobs and annoy our partners with stuff. Wishing everyone an easy ride...

I've got about 7 weeks left. I can't believe its such short countdown now. I still have so much work to finish off, despite how uncomfortable i'm becoming i'd love to hold on to 40 weeks at least!

Thank you all so much for your lovely words.

Today isn’t a great day for me. Woke up and my boobs felt completely normal coupled with period pain and lower back ache. Went to the loo and I’m sure there’s a single, tiny, spot of pinky/red blood (goddamn white knickers!!) however, when I’ve wiped there’s been no sign of any spotting (so far).

Boobs have gone from slightly tender to not at all and back again since this morning. Good news is that I had a coffee which tasted very strange and I’ve felt slightly nauseous since and even retched once or twice. Trying to stay calm and positive. Never have I ever wanted to feel sick all day everyday so much in all my life!! 6 weeks tomorrow!

Iswallowtoothpaste the first trimester is so hard. And the problem is that symptoms don’t mean much and come and go. I had daily spotting/light bleeding throughout my first trimester this time but baby was fine; with mmc I had no bleeding at all. It’s just so random.

NoCats you are doing brilliantly! I have 9 weeks left now (hopefully!).

@iswallowtoothpaste I convinced myself so many times that I must have miscarried a third time because my symptoms were so up and down, both boobs and nausea. And had a gigantic bleed at 6 weeks - so much I passed out, and with a big clot at the end. I was sure it was gone. But I’m still going 11 weeks later! I don’t think either of them necessarily mean much - there are so many reasons for bleeding and spotting in pregnancy. But when you’ve had bad luck before it’s hard not to associate it with the symptoms you were experiencing at the time.

Good luck. Keeping fingers crossed for you.

Hello all. Back in hospital for more fluids. Had my scan and measuring exactly on dates at 12+2 so finally past the date of latest mc. Now to wait for results from screening bloods.

@beanhunter that is awesome news! So pleased for you!