Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

[BertieBotts]

I've lost count of what number we were on, sorry.

Also there seems to be another BFP after MC thread running, but it has all different people on it so I didn't know if we should crash theirs or just have two running at once...

Hi everyone, I'm tentatively joining here as I'm only 4 weeks. I had horrible cramps last night and was convinced it was another MC (had one at 6 weeks in July), but no bleeding as yet so trying to remain hopeful. Planning on speaking to EPU on Monday but I'm guessing they won't want to do a scan this early on (last time round they said 6 weeks was the earliest it was worth doing as there's not much to see before that.)

Hang in there bean is the sickness any better today?

Welcome crazy, it’s such a rollercoaster isn’t it. Was it like period cramps? Looking back, I had strong period type cramps for a week before this bfp like af was due anytime and they’ve come and gone till very recently and I’m 16 weeks now. Not doubling over type pain but various low risk cramping, stabbing in one or other side, back pain. Fun and games! When I had a random bleed which turned out to be nothing, I didn’t have any pain with it.

I ageee they’re unlikely to scan you till more like 6 weeks but call them anyway. Mine wouldn’t see me till I’ve been booked in or referred by a doctor but that seems to be regional. Good luck x

Thanks @AnneLovesGilbert. It was strong period type pain last night, and now I'm just getting intermittent mild cramps. The day before my MC started I had some cramps so I can't help but assume it's the same, but I know cramps are common. I had no idea getting pregnant would be this up and down!

Oh, it’s a bastard. The whole thing. But what’s the alternative? That’s what keeps us going, so try and distract yourself where you can and remember that you’re pregnant right now which is such great news And look after yourself. The worry alone is exhausting, never mind being uncomfortable or in pain or shattered.

I had no idea af type cramps were a pregnancy thing but I’ve had them each time. It does settle in time.

I find the back ache more stressful as I had one mc start with that and it sucks.

The first few days and weeks of pregnancy after a loss go at snails pace. I’ve never ever known time go so slowly. This time, I found out at 3+5 and it felt an age to even get to 4 weeks!

Third trimester para!

You definitely made the right call and I’m over the moon for you it’s all going so well. Sorry for your PGP Does anything help or is it a just struggle on thing? Hope you’re not too sore.

You’re so right about birth planning or not and being flexible. With my first mmc I tried medical management and it failed twice and the pain had me bouncing off the walls. I sobbed, I laughed hysterically, rocked backwards and forwards a lot and didn’t sleep for days. Turned out to all have been for nothing as it was never going to work and I was ruthless with the second one about trying to avoid pain at all costs.

I’ve read an epidural might not be an option on the fragmin so nearer the time I’ll ask about all that. I know avoiding pain and hypnobirthing seem completely at odds but I’ve felt so out of control of this whole thing the hippy in me wants to look into it.

We’re not planning to find out vuduvu but I won’t be annoyed if we do. My husband has boy/girl twins and they’re keen to know but we don’t mind what it is and don’t have any stuff at all (sizeable age gap!) so that’s not a consideration.

Not really @annelovesgilbert. Had an awful morning. But they will scan me tomorrow which is good.

Hi everyone. I’m tentatively rejoining this thread.

I’m 5 weeks today. The memories from my MMC are still very raw, I’ve kept pretty calm so far but the anxiety flares up again at times.
I’ve bought some Bach’s rescue remedy to try and help me through a bit, have also been to see my GP already who is referring me to the consultant at our local EPAU.

Most of the time I’m feeling positive but every now and again I’m having this awful feeling of doom and gloom. Guess that’s normal to a degree.
Symptoms are sporadic too which isn’t helping with anxiety but I’m trying to ignore (and resist the urge to squeeze my tits every 10 seconds)

Hope everyone is well!

Hello all!

I'm not sure anyone I used to talk to is still here but wanted to pop on with any update anyway. I have a nearly 4 yr old and summer 2017 started trying for number 2. Had a chemical pregnancy in June and fell pregnant in August. At my 8 week scan we found out I had a missed miscarriage and had to wait 2 weeks for medical management including having to call round local hospitals to find a surgeon. I had the procedure at the very end of October, all fine. I had one period and then conceived again at christmas.
I just gave birth 5 days ago and that baby is snuggled up on my chest right now. I managed to stay calm through the 9 months. Just about! I did go for a few early scans incl a sneaky one I didn't tell dp about.
So I guess I wanted to offer hope, solidarity, I will always think about those who have suffered and worried their way through while others can enjoy the baby making process.
Good luck all. Xx

@ladydolly,

Sounds very similar to me. Thank you so much for sharing your happy ending. Gives us all so much hope xxx

@beanhunter good luck for the scan today. I hope you start to feel better soon.

@Iswallowtoothpaste congratulations on your bfp. Hopefully EPAU will be monitoring you closely and this one goes to plan.

@ladydolly congratulations on the birth of your baby and thank you for letting us know. I hope you're all settling in well.

Welcome back @iswallowtoothpaste and congratulations on your pregnancy.

Good luck today @beanhunter

@ladydolly thanks for popping by to post your positive story. Huge congratulations! And reassuring for the rest of us that we will get there!

@Annelovesgilbert we did a short hypnobirthing course last time (DH worked with someone whose wife was a hypnobirthing teacher) so she gave us a mates rates one to one session and access to some tools to practice at home. I'm not going to say labour magically didn't hurt but it helped me stay calm throughout and must have helped a bit cos by the time I was assessed at hospital I was fully dilated and wanting to push. Didn't even use gas and air until the stitches afterwards! Obviously I was lucky with a quick labour and DS in a good position. But they say the hypnobirthing is good even for c sections as it helps you stay calm in a stressful situation. I'd not fork out for it for a planned elective section but if you ended up with an emergency section you could still use what you've learned even if labour hasn't gone as you planned.
We also did NCT which is basically just a way of meeting middle class maternity friends to have coffee with while you're off. Our group fizzled pretty quick but I did make one really good friend through it who lives just round the corner and our DS's are great friends, and go to the same nursery. She's expecting #2 (a little girl too) a month before me so we'll be off on mat leave again together this time which will be nice. I know lots of people whose NCT groups have been much more successful than ours.
An alternative might be a pregnancy yoga or pilates class where you can meet more local mums? Does Daisy birthing do a class near you? Also once baby is here ask your health visitor about a new parent class, ours did one and it was good for meeting a few local mums.

Scan all ok. Measuring spot on 11+4 or 5. Now the stress til Friday. But relieved for now.

@beanhinter that’s fabulous news!!

@beanhunter rather!

Brilliant news @beanhunter!

That's great @beanhunter! Chances must be really good now :)

I have no idea what I've missed but dropping by and hope you're all well

I previously had a miscarriage at the end of August - unfortuately I lost my little one at 5 weeks 3 days.

Today I can say I'm now 5 weeks and 3 days with my little rainbow baby - it's been a rollercoaster and unfortunately the dad has stepped away from me but everyday I still get nervous when I go to the toilet - I check every 10 minutes for blood, get worried if I feel a twinge in my stomach, etc :( I guess it's normal for anyone who's experienced it

Fab news @beanhunter xx

@UnicornsandRainbows1 how are you and your little lady? X

Hello.

I got my bfp this morning. I lost a little boy at 18+4 in April this year so all sorts of mixed emotions.

@Mrssmith, so sorry to hear about your little boy, I just can’t even imagine how horrific that must’ve been.

We’re all in this rocky ride together. This group is so supportive. Wishing you all the best x

@Flatwhite32 We're getting there :) just established feeding left to do (though I was/am staying in hospital from tonight for a couple of nights to try and do that and they want to book someone else into it so we'll see). How are you guys doing?

@babygirl92 I am exactly the same. I am convinced every time I go to the toilet there's going to be blood.

After having awful cramps on Friday I rang EPU this morning and then want to see me next Monday when I'll be over 5 weeks. I can't imagine they will be able to see much by then but I'm guessing with the pain they just want to check it's in the right place and not an ectopic, rather than determining viability. Has anyone else had a scan at 5 weeks and had it show anything at all?! A week seems a long time away...

@crazyhorseylady yeah I've been doing it every five minutes - every twinge I've got has made me go to the toilet to ease my anxiety.

You're lucky the EPU wanted to give you a scan at 5 weeks cause mine refused saying I had to reach 6 weeks. I know so early at this point they'll do one of those transvaginal scans :)