Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

[BertieBotts]

I've lost count of what number we were on, sorry.

Also there seems to be another BFP after MC thread running, but it has all different people on it so I didn't know if we should crash theirs or just have two running at once...

@beanhunter the first trimester is absolutely awful isn’t it? I was feeling exactly like this a few weeks ago. I really don’t have a good solution apart from keeping on saying positive things to yourself in your head. Sometimes I would say them out loud when I was by myself as well.

The vast majority of pregnancies with a heartbeat at 10 weeks will go on to be successful, and just because something has happened once before doesn’t mean it will happen again! I think it seems more likely to us because of availability bias, when your brain overweights the things it has experienced.

Good luck, sending hugs.

Hope everyone else is doing ok! 16 weeks here... can’t work out if I am feeling little flutters of movement occasionally or just imagining things. Kind of like a muscle twitch low down - does that sound like it might be?

@Anne my main tips on feeding is stock up on lansinoh and don't leave the hospital until your confident with your latch and best feeding position. Ask for help on the ward, a midwife, healthcare assistant or peer supporter will come and sit with you to advise and watch you feeding. Also if you struggle initially with latching don't give up, my DS just had no clue how to latch, the first night I hand expressed and syringe fed him. It was awful, but the following day I got some one on one help from an amazing midwife and peer supporter and we got him latching, only for 10s at a time at first but within a day he got the hang of it and we fed for 13 months.

Vuduvu little muscle twitches in pelvis is exactly how first movements felt with both pregnancies!

@vuduvu that's it alright. Like when you're really tired and get that twitchy eye thing going on but it's in your tummy!

Labmum I think I was incredibly lucky with breastfeeding- I never even opened my tube of lansinoh and fed for over 2 years. I agree with the latch videos- I got sick of midwives telling me to make sure she opened her mouth wide but not telling me how to get a tiny newborn to do that! YouTube was fantastic! It can be very easy though for some people, you don’t hear the good stories often. I’m hoping baby number 2 latches as well as number 1 did.

@labmum @paranormalbouquet thanks. Yay, so exciting. Although didn’t have any yesterday afternoon or so far this morning and feeling paranoid already so think I have found the next thing to be anxious about, oh dear!

Sat at the doctors after a horrendous night of trying to go to the loo and no sleep. I’m
Broken.

anne i have a front placenta too and despite this being third baby i still didn't feel anything really until week 20 maybe? it was annoying waiting that long - but once i did feel them they were pretty decent and then started to feel more regular as the weeks have gone on.
Glad you had a good appointment, and heard the heartbeat - a really nice thing.
With the bf thing I'd wait and see how it goes. I personally have always loved it and found it ok, but not everyone finds it easy, or baby doesn't take to it for whatever reason. It's best not to put too much pressure on yourself. I agree - there is a lot of help out there though and sometimes you need to push for it or seek it out. I was also lucky that both of mine were keen feeders and so found it easy - but of course tiring to feed on demand. I'm hoping this baby is a keen feeder too!

labmum not doing any classes really - just some preggo yoga. as its my third i'm not too worried about meeting friends as such. I'm not prepared though at all...we are doing some work on the house and so until it's finished I can't sort out anything. I also have a work deadline (i work freelance) and it's going to take me up to 39 weeks i think! not ideal, but it'll be a well earned mat leave for sure!!

para what date is your ELCS?

Oh bean i'm sorry you're having such a rough time. I hope your GP is kind, maybe they can offer another reassurance scan? I know in those early days it only offers respite for the worry for just a few hours, but it might do the trick. I personally found the 10-12 week mark the worst - you seem so close yet so far from things being 'officially' ok and getting past previous mc milestones... Masses of hugs to you.

How are you doing today bean? I hope your doctor was helpful and kind. Thinking of you.

Thanks nocats, that's helpful

Found myself discussing the merits of NCT with DH this morning, plus how my DSC will really feel and how we'll manage nights away as a family of 5 and realised I must be getting used to the idea this might actually happen....!

Still an inpatient as was dehydrated again. Feel better but still crap.

Oh love. Can they give you anything to help with the sickness? Hospitals suck but at least you're hopefully getting some rest.

I’ve been having iv antisickness but they want to switch back to oral as I don’t have ketones. Despite the fact I’m still vomiting. Sigh. I can’t fighg anymore.

Hi ladies, all went ok at 20week scan this morning. Very wriggly baby who doesn't like to pose. Only issue is a low lying placenta which they'll check again at my growth scans but sonographer fairly confident it'll move before then.

@bean, hope things settle down soon, can't imagine how horrible hyperemesis must be.

Bean I hope it settles soon for you.

Labmum congrats on a good scan. My little one didn’t want to pose at 20 weeks either, had to go and jump around and go back an hour later to get views of spine.

Anne I didn’t do nct with DD because I moved area in late pregnancy. I was really sorry as there were so many cliquey groups of mums at various activities who didn’t really want new people joining them. Probably could get same from free nhs antenatal classes I suppose. I’m glad you are feeling more positive about the outcomes. It’s only hitting me now that I might want to start preparing!

Had ogtt, midwife and growth scan today (dodgy uterine artery pressures at 20 weeks, and also low placenta). Eating a lovely carb filled lunch in case midwife calls later to say I have GDM! Midwife thought bump was a bit small but it looks enormous to me to be honest. And growth scan shows a very average sized baby so think she held tape wrong. Placenta moving away from cervix which is good and placental blood flow looks better than last time which is also good. So I’m happy for now anyway! Next scan in 4 weeks, vaccinations next week.

Oh lab that is such fantastic news, delighted for you! Did you find out what flavour you’re having?

Thank you para. I’ll have a look at what’s on offer. The midwife was very pro hypnobirthing which surprised me and said NCT was good for meeting people but didn’t suggest it would be good for much else and we live in the sticks so I don’t know what the chances are of meeting anyone where we actually live and it’s a lot of money.

Excellent news on your placenta blood flow! And an average sized baby sounds perfect. I take great comfort in being average or normal in any way these days after beating so many odds, in a bad way, on the route so far

What news from the midwife on your test? Did you hear back?

I’ve got what I think is sciatica. It’s a deep ache in the middle of my right bum cheek that I can’t feel if I poke it but it’s there increasing amounts of the day and sometimes shoots down my leg. I sneezed earlier, it sort of twanged and now it’s worse.

Does anyone have sciatica and if so know if this sounds like it? It’s not awful and it’s worse after I’ve been sitting a while.

I'll be 17 weeks with my rainbow tomorrow! Gone so quick! We found out yesterday that we're having a little girl ❤

@AnneLovesGilbert, certainly sounds like sciatica! I'm getting similar.

Congratulations CobaltRose96! What lovely news. Have you thought about names? Did you have an inkling?

Sorry you’ve got it too. Have you had it before? Nothing seems to make it better and sitting down for too long seems to make it work. But by the end of the day once I’ve got into my pjs I’m barely moving apart from hourly trips for a wee!

@AnneLovesGilbert, we're going to call her Scarlett ❤ I was honestly CONVINCED I was having a boy as all the old wives tales pointed to boy, and both my partner and I come from very male dominated families. This little one will be the first female born into either family in the best part of 25 years!

I never had it before pregnancy! It started at about 12 weeks and has been on and off since. Some days I'm fine and other days I'm limping! Not fun.

That’s a beautiful name

I’ve obly known one Scarlett, she was a little girl I used to babysit for many years ago and she was an absolute poppet. And how amazing about your family!

Look after yourself. Have you done any yoga?

Anne I love hearing the word average too! As none of us have had straightforward journies to this point and this pregnancy has been incredibly stressful with surgery etc I’m just so grateful to finally have reached (drum roll) the third trimester!! Really thankful to everyones support on this and the other thread when choosing the surgery. I’m so glad I went for the invasive option up front now, my obstetrician told me she’d have considered 26-28 weeks a great success with the standard stitch.

I’m actually back on Monday to confirm my c-section date and preferences (get baby out safely, don’t kill me, pain relief following!) so I’ll get my glucose results then. I’ll cope if I have it for a few weeks though.

I’ve not had sciatica but awful pelvic girdle pain. Definitely arrange a physio appointment first off, and GP. I’m not surprised your midwife is pro-hypnobirthing at all, it seems very popular. Having had a really complicated first delivery but a remarkably easy labour until it all went wrong (very manageable pain until 10cm when I developed a high fever and baby got very distressed hence emergency section under general) all I can say is have general preferences but be aware things may go differently and that’s ok. And that there is no other very painful process in medicine where we encourage people to put up with pain so if you struggle there’s no shame in having an epidural! Strangely I somewhat regretted not having epidural as I ended up asleep for DDs birth whereas if I’d had an epidural they could have topped it up for the eventual section and the experience would have been easier (all this is clear with the benefit of the retrospectoscope!).

Cobalt congratulations! Little girls are lovely and Scarlett is a lovely named. Sadly as many of my family and friends are from Dublin I couldn’t use it but I’ve always loved it.

@AnnelovesGilbert that definitely sounds like sciatica. Pilates or yoga may help?

Congratulations @cobalt, we also found out we're having a girl. Well as best they can tell (with a boy it seems more definite cos you've seen "something" rather than a lack of something which could just have been missed).

We had a giggle at our scan as this baby was not for cooperating at all, constantly wriggling out the way but all measurements were generally a few days ahead except for her legs which were a week behind.....my DS was exactly the same so looks like we have another short arse on our hands!

Congrats @cobalt and @labmum! It’s so lovely having a good scan and seeing your baby and seeing everything is ok :) I’ve signed up to be a dummy on an obstetric ultrasound course in a few weeks (assuming all alright at the 20 week scan, fingers crossed) so looking forward to getting some extra views then.

Has anyone decided not to find out the sex? My husband wants to but I’m not sure if I do...

@beanhunter hope you are doing ok. Are you still in hospital?

Yes. Still stuck here. And brain is in overdrive that I’m going to have another mmc next week.