Due January 2019 (2nd thread)

[InDreamland]

Hello
Last thread was closed............?

Thank God it's not just me! Feel like I spend half my days just rotting away under a blanket on the sofa, my poor son is getting bored of hearing that Moms tired.

I can’t remember the last time I slept all the way through the night. Whether it’s the heat, being uncomfortable on my left side, back and hip ache, indigestion, whatever, I spend half the night awake and uncomfortable. I’m so tired all the time, I’m normally a very deep sleeper so this is a bit of a shock to the system. I’m never going to sleep well again am I?! Or maybe I’m sleeping badly now because the babies going to be a great sleeper, so I’m having all my sleepless nights while I’m pregnant... that could happen??

Buttercup I had a weird week where that happened to me, I thought it was going to be like it all pregnancy and started telling DH he had to sleep somewhere else, and ordered a load of lavender oil at 2 o’clock in the morning one night. Now I’ve gone back to sleeping like sleeping beauty

I don’t know if there’s a growth spurt or something going on at the moment which is why I’m sleeping so deeply?

Does anyone here have dogs? I’m starting to wonder about the best way to introduce the baby to them. I’ve read about people bringing home a babygro smelling of baby first, but I’m not sure how we’ll do it if we have a Home birth. They are both great with kids, but they’ve not really been around babies before. I am going to start making a larger space in the back kitchen just for them, and start putting them in there during the day randomly so they have time to get used to it I think. They are generally allowed wherever I am at the moment, but I don’t want to have to lug the baby round with me just to go to the loo/answer the door etc if the dogs are free roaming.

Hi Gingeum,

We have a 3 year old mini Schnauzer who has been treated like our baby all his life! He is very loving & full of character but spoiled rotten & gets very excited around kids! He loves them but can get too carried away especially if they r running & jumping around! He can also get quite anxious & needs to be with us at all times! He literally follows me everywhere I go! We felt we needed to get this sorted before baby arrives so we spoke with the vet who recommended to get a clinical behaviour therapist out to work with him so we did this on Thursday after being recommended one.

It was a horrendous experience! The woman was really rude, overpowering & in our view bullied our dog & us in our own home for 3 hours! She bad mouthed & criticised everyone & everything from vets, dog walkers, owners, groomers, dogs, us, bmw drivers (I know) the list goes on & on! Lol! When she left we were all shell shocked & cant believe I let her in our own home to do this to us all! She was really harsh with our dog & got him to do things purely by fear & punishment! She didn't use praise & quite a few times pulled & yanked his lead to hard & to the point he was flipping over onto his back & getting dragged along the ground! I'm so annoyed at myself for letting her do it to him & not intervening at the time!

She did make sense with a lot in what she said however it's nothing the dog whisperer hasn't said (although even he was an arsehole) or what we even knew deep down ourselves although have been in denial until now! We know we have to set firmer boundaries to start improving his behaviour as he does think he can do what he wants but he is not a bad or aggressive dog in anyway but she made us feel like he was the worst she had ever seen!

Defo going to need to have separate areas to be able to put him when baby is here for example a gate in utility room to put him when in kitchen!

Apologies for long rant but it's so raw! Throw in pregnancy hormones & it's a terrible mix! I feel we are motivated to make this work in despite of this woman as opposed to a result of her! I won't even tell you what we paid for this luxury but let's we could've paid for a car seat & more with what we gave her!

Let me know if you have any other tips or how it's going with your wee dog too! Xx

That sounds awful! One of ours is a particularly needy rescue and I’m worried how she will cope too. We have been slowly working on her separation anxiety and starting to get results, so she is getting happier at being in a different room to me now, but will still start to whine after so long. She’s 6 but we reintroduced a crate to her and she’s so much better with that now. I’ve also been taking her to gundog training because she seems to deal with life a lot better when she is being given constant directions, rather than being able to do her own thing. The trainer is really lovely and calm though, and is all about praising her. It’s just handy because she will walk to heel now, so if I was leaving a room, I could always just tell her to heel and she would follow rather than take baby with me away from her IYKWIM. The other dog hates being dragged off the sofa though! I just want to start slowly adjusting their lifestyle now so they’ve got time to get used to it, rather than baby coming and then all of a sudden they’re shut away and never see me!

That sounds really good - well done! Walking to heel is a massive thing especially when we will be out with prams soon! We have ditched his extendable lead & he's walking better on a rope one for now!

We changed his food on her recommendation to James wellbeloved as she said the one we had him on from M&S was full of additives! To be fair it does seem to be making a difference as he has been calmer although that might still be the ptsd following her visit!! Xx

Food definitely plays a part doesn’t it! Our other dog is so laid back and self sufficient, this other dog is a bit of a shock to us but we changed her food a few months ago and she does seem calmer. I don’t know whether to ask the neighbour to have them if I’m giving birth at home, or whether it’s better if they’re not shipped off? Hard to know!

Oh it's a hard one!! You are defo braver than me! I'm actually at laughing at the thought of my dog there during labour!
He's got to be in the middle of everything & can jst see him right in there checking everything out, barking telling me to push! Lol!

My friend had her female dog with her when her contractions started & her dog got really distressed which cause my friend added stress! She said a good 30 seconds before one started her dog started crying & she knew it was coming which she said got her worked up! Her mum had to come & take dog away! I think boy dogs are less aware although I could be wrong! Mine has been no different, still as cheeky!! Xx

Glad other people are having to think about their dogs as well! My dog is fairly calm in the house now but I’m working on her reactive barking to other dogs outside, and we’re slowly getting there. She doesn’t walk well on a lead so if we can’t take her off lead on a walk with the baby she just won’t be coming with us. I’ve tried everything with her including 2 years of training classes and she just doesn’t do well on a lead - she is from working stock though so it’s not a surprise she wants to run free, and she is completely trained to verbal commands off lead. Has anyone else’s dog started ‘guarding’ them a bit? Mine cuddles right up to me on the sofa at night, and at bed time she sleeps on my legs. If she hears anything at night she’s straight up to basically stand on top of me until my husband checks it out and she gets the ‘all clear’ haha. I’m most worried about how she’s going to react when we’re holding the baby because she’s super curious, so in a few weeks I’ll borrow a doll off someone to carry around the house, get her used to it. I’ll also play the sound of new born crying as she has sensitive hearing so she needs to know what it’s all about before the baby arrives!

We’ve literally just got a dog. He’s adorable

One of mine has terrible guarding tendencies, if I let her she would guard me against DH/other dog/anything. If I keep on top of it though, she’s fine. So if she jumps up onto the sofa and tries to get in between me and something else, I put her on the floor, if she has a little grumble when DH walks in the room, she gets put down on the floor again and ignored. If she stands in front of me and grumbles at another dog, I move away. It does work but if I let her do it once or twice, she would be a nightmare again.

Our other dog is a bit weird, if someone (especially a child) is crying/upset/tantrumming, he will quietly go and lay down at their feet until they stop. He won’t look at them or anything, just lies very close to them until it stops, then will wander off again. He doesn’t normally like lying close to people (if he’s on the sofa and I sit down, he will get down and go and sit on the other sofa by himself ) so it’s not in his character at all!

@Gin that sounds difficult, luckily mine isn’t displaying actually guarding she’s just being a lot more clingy to me than normal - she’s usually obsessed with my husband so I’m enjoying the extra cuddles.

@sexnotgender what a cutie! Congratulations on your new addition

Just out of curiosity, I’ve just played the sound of a newborn crying when the house was quiet. Dog one didn’t even so much as open one eye, dog two jumped up from where she was sleeping, clambered over to me, sniffed all around me then went and laid back down

Aw I am a dog owner too. I usally work as a childminder so she is very used to being around kids aged 0-5, and my own son who's now 13.

She is trained to follow me out of a room so she's never left in a room unattended with small kids. If she hears a baby crying she runs towards the noise all worried. She's very calm and gentle, and all my mindees have always loved her.

She's also very receptive to my son who has autism. He didn't even touch her for a whole year when she moved in with us, and they seem to have a quiet understanding of each other, she never gets in his space but likes to hang out in the same room as him. I joke they love each other from a distance.

She's a greyhound rescue who never made it as a racer and is very clingy with me. I've crate trained her for when we go out and with the door of it open but her in it at night. Thankfully she walks well on and off lead, and has good recall, especially for a greyhound!

She seems to have realised something is different lately and is even snugglier than usual with me, it's quite sweet.

That dog lady you had visit Eilidh sounds HORRID!!

Hand your dog sounds a lot like our other dog - he has been around children with different special needs when I was a nanny and just knew the right amount of contact to have with them. He’s the one who won’t get off the sofa when I leave the room though, otherwise he’d be perfect! Our other troublesome dog loves kids, but has only been around children 2 years and up, so I’ve no idea what she will be like with babies. I also have less trust in her, just because we didn’t get her until she was 5 years old and you can never tell exactly what happened to them previously! I think it’s probably good to not trust them completely though, because even the most amazingly trained dogs can’t be trusted 100% I suppose.

Yes I think that's wise. I was brought up around well trained working type dogs eg labs, retrievers, spaniels and we were always taught to respect them as much as love them.

A lady on a local fb group at the week actually asked "My 8 month old won't leave my lovely gentle dog alone, do I just leave them to it?" I gently suggested not leaving him to it and to start as she needed to go on, teaching child that dog is not a toy. Offered tips and examples, I really hope she took the advice given by lots of posters.

My dog is so soft and gentle but kids are relentless and unpredictable at times. They don't have the empathy and understanding of the dog's feelings. I once had a usually gentle, well behave 2 yr old mindee kick my dog right in front of me. You could see she was wondering what would happen as she did it. Even the gentlest dog may react out of fear, pain or self preservation in an extreme situation and it's our job not to let that situation unfold.

By training the dogs well, and the kids once they are mobile, you are looking out for both parties and protecting them both.

Thanks buttercup! He’s just lovely.

Sorry to derail the dog chat (especially as dog chat is my favourite kind of chat!) but I’m a bit nervy now. I’ve been to the GP to talk about how exhausted I am, and he’s arranged for me to have a blood test to check iron and thyroid tomorrow. I’m not nervous about that though, I mentioned to him that of the 7 pounds I lost at the start of pregnancy I’ve only gained back 4, and he said ‘we won’t know why that is until you’ve had your scan’, and now I’m paranoid that the babies going to be really small. I can feel it kick every day, and I’ve gotten loads bigger, but I’m just really struggling to gain any weight at all. Is anyone else around 19 weeks and still not gaining significant weight? I find it hard to eat a very varied diet as I have IBS and am allergic to dairy, but i am eating way more than I normally do.

Oh Buttercup hope you’re not stressing too much. I’m 19 weeks but I don’t have weighing scales so I’m not sure if I’ve gained weight, but I had gained around 1.5 kg from my booking in appointment at 7 weeks and my scan at 12 weeks. Did you gain weight then?

Nope, I’ve only gained that 4 pounds in the last couple of weeks. I’ll mention it at the scan and see what they say - not much else I can do! I thought the midwife would weigh me at my 16 week appointment but they never did. Just hate having something to worry about, id been doing so well recently and now I’m going to be paranoid until the scan.

@Buttercup53 at my 16 week appointment I mentioned to midwife that I hadn't gained any weight (literally not even half a pound) and she wasn't concerned. She said some women lose weight, others gain weight and some stay the same. I've just weighed myself (after a large dinner too) and only put on 3 pounds since booking in appointment and my bump is getting big already (17+5). Since midwife wasn't concerned, I'm not.... yet.

Hey...
I have a nursery related question.
I was planning on getting a nice chair in there for night feeds and just to have somewhere nice to sit in there. However talking to a few friends and family members who seem to think I just won't use it?

Any advice?

chick a chair in the nursery is nice (it doesn’t need to be an expensive nursing chair though!)

It might not necessarily be for night feeds, because they are likely to be sleeping in your room the whole time they will need night feeds, but they are lovely for doing story time just before bed with an older baby and toddler. Or you could have it in your room to begin with for night feeds, then move it into nursery when baby moves.

I’ve only ever done night feeds by bottle for babies who aren’t mine, so I’m no expert, but I find it’s better to feed baby in a chair, because they wake up more on the transition, and therefore take a full feed. If you feed in bed without really disturbing baby, they may drop off to sleep before they’ve had enough milk, and then be awake again in an hour. You have to get up to change their nappy anyway, so may as well start out of bed!

@buttercup53 I'm nearly 17 weeks and have gained 4lbs so far, but that has included a two week holiday to Ireland where I think I ate chips nearly everyday. I mentioned it at my 16 week appointment and my midwife said that everyone was different and that they don't use weight as a measure of how things are going anymore for that reason (as Cryptonaut mentioned). It sounds like your doctor didn't do a very good job at reassuring you! Hope you manage to relax before the scan, so exciting that you're feeling kicks daily and that your bump is growing :)