Missed miscarriage

[jpclarke]

Just wondering if anyone can tell me their experiences of this. Found out today baby is only measuring 6 weeks and I should be nearly 11. Absolutely devastated, the doctor has given me 3 options. Wait for a natural miscarriage to happen, give me some tablets or a D&C she is recommending D&C because I have had 3 previous c- sections. I just don't know what to think. And what is the best.

Oh no JP

You are probably run down. It's been a tough time for you. I hope you can get some time to rest up and recover

Thank you, at least the weekend is nearly here and I will have my dh to help with the kids. It's just such a silent grieving process. Bleeding again now too even though it had stopped. I just keeping hoping I will wake from this nightmare.

@jpclarke Aw no poor you. That's all you need. Did GP give you something for it? I'm still bleeding too. Not very heavy but there. Dreading work on Monday. Facing everyone. I think they all know its something other than me being ill. As I had to leave crying... I received flowers from work yesterday. I just hope no one asks if I'm ok or talks to me too much. I feel anxious at the idea of seeing anyone I know. Got a Wedding tomorrow...

A wedding? O god, at least you can have a few drinks now. I am on an antibiotic, so hopefully that takes care of it. My mil can't understand why I am not bringing the kids into their house but I can't face pregnant sil. Work was ok, but I had a few people approach me that had heard about it, I was fuming at that as I had told only 3 friends but in confidence. I received flowers yesterday from work too.

Yeah I am hoping they don't all know at my work. Hoping no-one approaches me as I know I'll get upset. Work go ok though? Good you've gone back. I think I'll feel better once I've managed a day at work.

It was fine, I just did what I had to do and left again. Didn't meet many people thankfully. I did meet one lady who I know miscarried before so I asked if she wouldn't mind if I rang her when I feel like talking.

It is very helpful to talk to other people who've been through it. I find talking to my SIL very helpful as she understands. I just keep thinking must be positive. I'm taking folic acid with vitamin d still. I want to ttc as soon as I stop bleeding.

I hope you enjoy the wedding today as best you can. I went back running, wasn't anywhere near where I was at but still I need to try and lose some of these pounds that I had put on. I hope one of these days it will get easier. I am still crying.

Just checking in to see how you are doing ladies.

I hope one of these days it will get easier. I am still crying.

I cried for 2 months. I promise it gets better, but it does take time. I still can't listen to Songbird by Eva Cassidy as it reminds me of our lost bean. Definitely try and talk to people who have been through it, as they really 'get it' if you know what I mean.

That's flatwhite at least I feel a bit more normal now still getting upset, it's like you are just expected to get on with things and forget. It's such a silent grieving process. I thought exercise would help me today but it hasn't.

I should of wrote thanks!! Not that's

We just got home from the Wedding and actually I think it was really good for us. We saw some good friends, had a laugh and danced alot which is just what we needed! It's the most fun we've had since all of this. We could forget for the night. I hope you're ok. I do think with each day it gets more bareable. I gradually accept it more. Or just get strong enough to not think about it. I am feeling anxious about work on Monday. But will just have to get on with it.

Glad to hear you enjoyed the wedding. I still am avoiding the big bad world where I can! My dh has told mil we will take her to the seaside with the kids tomorrow. I am dreading it and would much rather stay at home. I am still very sad and finding it hard to just keep putting a face on pretending everything is ok.

It is very difficult. I have my first day back at work which I'm feeling very anxious about. But I must carry on eventually. Hopefully in a weeks time we can try again. I hope you have fun at the beach. Just try and find joy in the kids you do have and your dh. It'll get easier slowly.

I made it through my first day back without crying. At home crying now though. Dh mentioned Christmas which just set me off. I can't even think about Christmas now. We should be having our December baby. I'm feeling really low.

Well done on getting through work, I can totally empathise about Christmas, we just have to take it one day at a tune. I still very sad but as my dh said this isn't something that we are going to get over straight away especially because not only are we going through the emotional impact of losing our babies but also we have been through a lot physically.

Yeah true. I just wish I wasn't so upset. We have decided I'll test Friday if negative we will ttc. I really want to be pregnant asap. Especially before December.

I wasn't advised to take any pregnancy test and I don't think I would be able to face one either considering the last one I took was positive. Is it really necessary to see a negative result?

I don't know. They told me at the hospital to wait for bleeding to stop and then take a test if still positive I have to go back in as means something could be left. I did another test this morning which is barely visible positive. Just using the cheap strips. I have stopped bleeding for 2 days now. So thinking maybe we can try now. I just had someone at work say sorry to hear...how many people know? I hate it, I know they think they're being nice but I'd rather not discuss it. It just makes me feel worse and brings all the emotions back up.

It's awful when people start talking about it, but it's one of those times that I am sure people don't really know what to do. And I suppose in one way it lets you know that you are supported. I won't be taking any tests. I have a following up appointment with my consultant so I will wait until then.

Oh that's good. I don't have any appointments. I think I will start trying now anyway. Stuff waiting. I'm too impatient!

Hello again, I was the first one to reply to you and have followed your story to see if you were ok. Can I strongly recommend Miscarriage UK phone line. I think you would really really benefit from it as they are a place where someone really truly understands everything you are dealing with and it is just a phone call. It will keep you sane and give you some perspective for the future. You will probably find that you don't get the empathy that you need from real life people around you and potentially feel angry that people that do know forget very quickly. Please look them up and call them.

Thank you sagegreen. I have looked up some organisations but I haven't been brave enough to make any phone calls. It's a very lonely time and I suppose I have been blocking out the real world as much as I can in order to survive for my children's sake. I talk to dh but he will admit himself that the loss is different for him. I think because it physically happened in my body I am finding it harder to cope with.

@jpclarke How are you feeling today? Any better? Back to normal work hours?

I am ok still thinking a lot about it but I haven't really cried the last couple of days so that's an improvement. I am very tired though, I don't know if that's because of the general anaesthetic or something else. How are you doing pancakes?