Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

[BertieBotts]

Welcome everyone :)

I am feeling much more positive today, how is everyone else?

Just anxious about another mmc! Yes the question is what kind of suture.

@Paranormalbouquet that’s promising about the scan! I don’t know anything about the cervix being short though, did they tell you what that might mean?

Yes it’s a high risk of preterm delivery or second trimester loss. Nobody can say how high and there’s no trial evidence to say what stitch is best. I’ve seen 2 obstetricians about it who have given different opinions.

My "12 week scan" on Friday at 9.20 and im currently flipping between baby product reviews and tommys miscarriage support page as im so uncertain. Any tips for passing time quickly?
Im dreaming about how to explain to our son about a loss. I knew i should have stuck to my guns and not told him but his nursery felt he needed to know because of how fatigued i became with his behaviour becoming "unstable"
Ive been signed off work for the week with low blood pressure too so cant even go for a walk without fainting and cant keep busy with admin stuff.
Sorry for moaning but I'm so unsure.

Hello all, I was on here before under a different name but had to have a name change.
Had an early miscarriage and a second trimester miscarriage last year :(

Just found out that I've pregnant again which I'm thrilled about and was feeling really chilled about but I've been stupid and done all the testing and the lines are all over the place.
Faint in the morning with fmu, much darker around midday, then I just did one a minute ago and it's light again :( So I'm now worrying this one is over before it's even begun, my period isn't due til friday...

Hoping it's just to do with the concentration of urine, using all FRERs and have been drinking lots of water this afternoon so i guess that could be why the line is fainter now.

I'm so cross with myself for testing again today, I was so reassured by yesterday's darker line :(

@infinityxinfinity congratulations! And I’m so sorry to hear your history. Did they find a reason for second trimester loss?

Now this is a pot/kettle situation but do try not to worry about pregnancy test lines, especially not this early. And certainly not if taking then at different times of the day. (And do try knock sense into me when I’m panicking about nausea/no nausea/Fitbit!).

@paranormalbouquet thank you so much. No they didn’t. They think it may be a new mutation of a genetic disorder but not hereditary so our risk of it happening again should be very very low.
Thank you - I’m really trying to tell myself that i should focus on the fact that the two i took around the same time of day (midday) when i hadn’t been to the loo for ages and hadn’t drunk much were really dark. And that the others were probably more diluted (they’re not squinters at all but a fair bit fainter than the dark ones).
I’m just sitting here trying not to burst into tears. I feel slightly mad! Hormones maybe?!
Too scared to use a digital yet waiting til after my
period would be due.

And yes of course I will return the favour :)

This is the progression as my post was a bit rambling so hopefully this will
make it clearer. Labelled days post ovulation. The bottom one was the one I took tonight but I have been drinking water on and off all afternoon. The darker two were both taken at midday on consecutive days having not been to loo for 2-3 hours beforehand.

sorry. I know I’m being slightly mad

@infinityxinfinity I found out I was pg 3 weeks ago tomorrow with a FRER.

Over the course of the next week or so I took 4 more FRER and completely freaked myself out because they were all around the same colour, some ever so slightly lighter and all taken at different times of day.

It’s been the longest three weeks of my life but I’m still hanging on in there, awaiting a scan to see exactly how far along I am (I’m thinking around 6+5 weeks) had a bit of bleeding here and there which has done nothing to calm my nerves but been sporadically having sickness, fatigue and tender breasts. Good luck!!

I don’t know much about line progression but I think in the early days any dilution of urine makes a difference. If your hcg is only 30 or so then diluting will drop it very dramatically. Less effect if it’s 1000. Hard as it is it’s probably best to wait it out. It’s all we can do really.

First trimester after miscarriage is miserable. I’ve been in a constant state of anxiety for what seems like ages but actually only found out 3 weeks ago!

Line progression is a total lie, you can't rely on it at all. Especially several within the same day - you'll get clearer results if you leave 48 hours between each test.

Another one who will hold my hand up to testing daily in this pregnancy for a while (even though I did the same in the last one and it didn't help), but who knows it's a bad idea really. There was one day - I think maybe the day after my period was due, or even the day of - where the line basically disappeared and we thought it was all over already, and then I took another test the next day and the line was stronger than ever. It is, in fact, as a result of that incident that our nickname for the baby is Troll (which is a lot more affectionate than that makes it sound!). So I totally agree that you can't get any useful information by testing all the time (I do think it's more telling if you're not getting progression say week-by-week, but even then not conclusive), but I totally get not being able to resist.

Catching up on the thread...

bloomin I'm sorry that you're feeling so anxious at the moment. I really hope that the time before tomorrow passes as quickly as possible, and then that you get good and reassuring news.

paranormal great news about the scan - the situation with your cervix sounds really difficult, but hopefully you feel like you're in good hands with your doctors?

xxmissbrightsidexx I'm really sorry you're having such a stressful time, and I also hope your rainbow baby is here safely asap! I'm a bit earlier than you (31 weeks) but have also just been told the baby is measuring small and it's not nice at all. Is today the day of your induction? Wishing you all the luck for a quick and smooth birth so that you're holding your little boy very soon!

@LisaSimpsonsbff I’ve had 2 opinions now who say different things. But I knew it would be a bridge to cross if I got pregnant so if I’m still pregnant in a few weeks I’ll need to make decisions.

@BloominMoomin89 I hope all goes well tomorrow, I know what you mean about time passing slowly, I feel the last few weeks have taken forever!

Hello all! Tentatively joining if I may? 4+4 today after MMC in March. Absolutely terrified that it will all go wrong again but can't help but be ridiculously excited too. As ridiculous as it sounds I think I will book scans every fortnight up until 12 weeks as I am so anxious that my body completely didn't realise last time. But for now I'm trying to relax as much as possible. Easier said than done!

Welcome Time! I’m sorry to hear about your MMC, they are so cruel. I think so whatever you need to get through it. Some EPUs will offer you a scan at 7/8 weeks if you’ve been with them before. As I’ve had 3 scans and am not 9 weeks yet I think I wholeheartedly agree with them! Although I’ll warn you I’m really only reassured for a day after scan, then back to worrying.

Welcome and congratulations timewaits! I had more or less fortnightly scans before my 12 week one (two at EPU, one private) and I felt like it kept me sane(r) - I know it doesn't work at all for some women, but if you think it would work for you and you can afford private scans then I think go for it.

Actually my recurrent miscarriage appointment finally came through for next week. I’ve had basic tests but none of the more detailed ones. Is there much point in going at this point? If someone who needs appointment gets it I’d be pleased but if they have anything to offer obviously I’ll take it. Harmony booked for 31st May. After a lot of thought and reading I think I’ll go ahead with the bigger surgery but have harmony first as a second trimester loss with an abdominal cerclage would be very difficult.

Hi ladies. Just catching up on the thread. Welcome @TimeWaitsForNoWoman and congratulations on your new pregnancy. I had a MMC in August last year at 12 weeks, so I totally understand how you're feeling. I had 3 scans before the 12 week one in this pregnancy (2 NHS, one private) and while they were inevitably anxiety provoking, they did help. I couldn't have waited a whole 12 weeks not knowing. Really hope all goes well for you.

I'm now 30+3 and was in maternity last night for over 3 hours due to reduced movements. The midwives were excellent, and thankfully the monitor showed all was ok, but it was stressful, and I have felt stressed all day today as a result.

@flatwhite32 hey! I remember you from before, so happy to hear you are so far along :)

I posted earlier on the thread under a name change about my weird light/dark/light/darkish tests, was having trouble with my profile and had to change it but am back to normal now. Still getting inconsistent tests, af due tomorrow really hoping she doesn't show her face but I'm feeling really low and tearful at the moment. Don't know if it's hormones or intuition and not sure whether to test with a digital tomorrow with fmu or wait a bit. I don't know if I'm just jumping to worst case scenario but tests doing anything but getting steadily darker just doesn't seem like a good sign.

@lisasimpsonsbff thanks for your kind words (was under the name change earlier ixi) I got my darker test yesterday (not as dark as it had been mind) and stupidly tested again this afternoon after not drinking anything or going to the loo for a few hours and it was still lighter, so I just don't know what to think.

@iswallowtoothpaste thanks for your words, I commented on your other thread and now I'm doing the same! Doh. Seems we can never listen to our own advice. Really glad to see you've managed to say calm and everything seems to be going okay for you so far. x

Welcome @TimeWaitsForNoWoman and congratulations on your upcoming it pregnancy! I’m exactly the same as you, I haven’t really admitted to myself that I’m pregnant yet and we’ve not told anyone in the family yet after 3 losses.
I’m 10+1 today and have been having scans every fortnight since I was 6 weeks. My next one is on a Monday and I’ve found it so reassuring to see all is ok but it’s still hard to relax.
Having said that, the furthest I got with my 3 MCs was 6+3 so the fact I’ve got past that is really good! Need to try to relax a bit more!!

@Flatwhite32 sorry you are having a difficult time, but delighted everything is looking good with baby.

@mummyjl15 2 of my losses were at 5-6 weeks, mmc at 9 weeks but baby never got past 6 so I’m taking a heartbeat at 8 weeks as positive too! Have another scan in 2 weeks (for harmony). Seems a long way away now.

Awful nausea last night for a few hours, lost all my dinner. This morning it’s mild queasiness again. Constant coming and going stresses me out!

@mummyjl what would your due date be? I am also either 10 or 10+1 today - slightly hard to tell as happened soon after last MMC. I haven’t booked another scan before my booking scan in just less than 3 weeks but don’t know if I can make it that long. Anxiety is starting to set in again.....

I'm already out :( took a digital and it was negative this morning.
Good luck to everyone, hopefully I will be back here again soon.