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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

993 replies

BertieBotts · 14/04/2018 12:14

Welcome everyone :)

I am feeling much more positive today, how is everyone else?

OP posts:
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RubyRube13 · 14/05/2018 20:48

@leanne9312 thank you. I’m glad it’s going well so far.

@mummyjl15 so hard, bless you, I can’t imaginr how hard that’s been. I wish you all the luck for this pregnancy to be healthy.
Thanks I’ll look at them - new to mumsnet.

leanne9312 · 14/05/2018 21:05

@keeponrunning85 no it's my second had one two weeks ago and seen a heart beat so hoping it's still there ! Really scared tbh.
Have you had scan?

leanne9312 · 14/05/2018 21:07

@keeponrunning85 sorry just read about the cardiac scan is that an ultrasound where you can see ?

RubyRube13 · 14/05/2018 21:36

@keeponrunning85

Thank you very much, I hope so too. I’ll havd a look, thank you.
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kirinm · 15/05/2018 09:18

Hope everyone is well. I'm feeling a sense of achievement today. I'm 24 weeks and I honestly did not think I'd get here. I know there's still a long way to go but knowing that baby at least has a chance now is such a relief.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 15/05/2018 10:39

Huge congratulations on hitting 24 weeks Kirin - such a milestone!

LisaSimpsonsbff · 15/05/2018 10:40

Welcome Leanne and ruby - I'm so sorry for both your losses Flowers Huge congratulations on this pregnancy, Leanne

Paranormalbouquet · 15/05/2018 10:41

@kirinm congratulations! It’s a major milestone!

I’m having a rough time psychologically. I’m obsessing over my Fitbit (heartrate dropping) and my symptoms (coming and going) and the spotting (persistent) with bleeding (intermittent). Rationally I know that with DD I had barely any nausea but she was fine whereas MMC I had severe persistent nausea. So symptoms mean little. And that even though my RHR dropped last week I still had a healthy heartbeat, and with MMC HR was high all the time. And there’s a reason for the spotting.

If I’m going to miscarry I just want to know now. If I’m not I just want to get through my cerclage and hopefully relax. Have an appointment tomorrow to plan cerclage, hopefully they’ll scan again. That reassures me for a few hours!

LisaSimpsonsbff · 15/05/2018 10:51

paranormal I'm really sorry you're really feeling the stress at the moment. How far along are you now? For what it's worth, my Fitbit has never, ever shown the heart rate patterns that everything says will definitely happen in pregnancy. I was 11 weeks when I got it so can't speak to first few weeks, but it's had lots of fluctuations since then, not one steady pattern - and I kept reading about women whose RHR went into the 90s the second they got their bfp, whereas at 31 weeks mine is still 69. I love the Fitbit in other ways, but try and ignore what my heart rate does as it panics me when it falls - but all that stuff online about what 'should' happen when pregnant is anecdotal anyway, and the Fitbit doesn't do a perfect job of tracking (my RHR definitely goes up if I wear it tighter).

Paranormalbouquet · 15/05/2018 10:58

8+1 today. I know I should just take the Fitbit off! And I know I can’t do anything to prevent or cause a miscarriage I just have to be patient. I’m just finding that hard!

I feel like I’ve been pregnant or miscarrying non stop since last summer with nothing but an extra 5kg to show for all the stress!

LisaSimpsonsbff · 15/05/2018 11:09

I think you can turn heartrate monitoring off, so you could still use it to count steps, etc. if that felt better? I think it's really natural to want as much information as you can, even if it won't affect the outcome so don't beat yourself up for not being patient - I think the only people who trill on about 'I just didn't get attached/think of it as a baby/think about it until 12 weeks' are people who haven't actually had a loss, but who like to imagine that they'd react so much better than other women if they did. One of my friends told me that and I know she meant well but she had one easily conceived pregnancy that went to term, and I think she's kidding herself that she'd have shrugged and been 'ah well' if she had lost that pregnancy early. So we people with experience of loss put so much pressure on ourselves to try and stay calm and not get hopes up, but it's asking so much.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 15/05/2018 11:17

Sorry, that turned into a bit of a rant!

Paranormalbouquet · 15/05/2018 11:29

No you are entirely right. I think it’s impossible to relax. I’m staying as detached as I can but as the weeks go by it’s harder! And they seem to be passing so slowly!

I coped very well with my 2 losses at about 5/6 weeks. But very poorly with the MMC. Partly because it dragged on and on, and partly because just the knowledge of it being a third consecutive loss was overwhelming. And that loss was picked up at 9 week scan so I think getting nearer to that date is bothering me.

I’ll be fine, I’m going to try get as much work as possible done today and get out for a walk at lunchtime.

peachesarenom · 15/05/2018 11:48

Hi everyone, I have been very sick of late with the nausea but today I have none, should I be worried? I'm 8+3

NoCatsHere · 15/05/2018 11:53

leanne welcome, i'm sorry for your losses, that is an awful lot. I hope this one is worry free. are you further on than before? 9 weeks feels like a good milestone to me. good luck for your scan today.

mummyj i ate a lot - constantly the first few weeks, but it's definitely eased now i'm 12 weeks, i wouldn't worry too much, feeling nauseous the whole time is such a bore, do what you can to ease it.

kirin congrats on getting to 24 weeks!

lisa i can understand the worry each time, i don't think you're being ungrateful at all, i think being scanned all the time gives a weird mix of reassurance and terror they'll find something.

rubyrube sorry to hear your loss. there are many great ttc after loss/miscarriage boards here i found so helpful when i felt ready to try again for that bfp. good luck in your journey.

My 12 week scan is today at 1pm, i feel numb thinking about it. i slept so badly last night imagining the worst NT measurements and outcome. I have no idea what they will say of course and i know i shouldn't waste time worrying about what ifs. the last 2 weeks have been torture since she said said it was high at 10 weeks. At least i'll have the beginnings of some answers today - not long to wait now.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 15/05/2018 12:52

Thinking of you cats and hoping the scan goes well

kirinm · 15/05/2018 13:33

@Paranormalbouquet My heart rate went up shortly after finding out I was pregnant and then slowly decreased. It's high again now - only by about 12bpm but I honestly think it can be ignored. Even now frequent exercise helps my heart rate drop or a bad nights sleep can see it jump. I don't think it indicates anything useful in pregnancy.

UnicornsandRainbows1 · 15/05/2018 14:09

Hope it all went okay @NoCatsHere

NoCatsHere · 15/05/2018 14:56

thanks so much, it went well. my NT measurement was 2.6mm so lower than the 3mm she said it was at 10 weeks so she obviously measured it wrong/or it's difficult to get right at an earlier stage hence why they only do it from 11+2-14 weeks. I'm relieved and cross i've had to worry myself for 2 weeks. I know a lot also depends on my blood test results too, but still....it's a good start right?
They also moved me on 6 days so i'll be 13 weeks tomorrow!
All being ok we will hopefully tell my 2 ds at the weekend.

Paranormalbouquet · 15/05/2018 15:01

@kirinm thank you- it is usually around 62-66, shot up to 77 but has dropped back over past 10 days to 69. I try not to focus on it but I think everything is worrying me at the moment!

@NoCatsHere that’s great news. And to jump 6 days is amazing! Every day at the moment feels like 5!

keeponrunning85 · 15/05/2018 16:01

Great news nocats!

And well done on the 24 week milestone kirin.

paranormal sorry to hear you're struggling at the mo. I had a heart rate obsession in the early days too. I don't have a fitbit but would use my phone to check. I tried (not always succesfully) to limit myself to once or twice a day. Every time it dipped I was convinced it was over because that's what happened with miscarriage number 4 but clearly it didn't mean anything. I did ask my obs and gynae reg friend if it could be an indicator of miscarriage and she basically told me not to be so silly and to stop checking. In a nice way obviously! I didn't because if it was high I did use that to try and reassure myself but maybe try not wearing it for a day or two and see if you feel any less anxious?

Paranormalbouquet · 15/05/2018 16:54

@peachesarenom my nausea comes and goes. It did with my only successful pregnancy to date too.

Paranormalbouquet · 15/05/2018 17:10

@keeponrunning85 I know I’m being silly, I just find it really hard to be confident about this pregnancy lasting.

keeponrunning85 · 15/05/2018 17:42

paranormal you are not being silly at all. I think we can all empathise with trying to find some reassurance in any way shape or form in those days before you can feel movements. It is so hard. If only there was a window!

intelligentPutty · 15/05/2018 17:53

Hi
Been a bit quiet as I was in that little bubble where y thought it might be ok.
Scan in Friday dates me 4 days ahead. And my was 2.2.
Got call today to say my downs risk is 127 in 150.
Have now booked harmony for tomorrow but now in such a bad place again. I wish I didn't know all these acronyms from when it all goes wrong. (Mmc tmfr. Erpc...)

Sorry I've not caught up with thread properly
Keep fingers crossed for me guys.

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