Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

[BertieBotts]

Welcome everyone :)

I am feeling much more positive today, how is everyone else?

Thanks, guys, I appreciate your support. Not out of the woods yet but possibly one of the best days of my life!

Fingers crossed for tomorrow, Em.

(Well, eventually it was!)

Great news sooz!

And fingers crossed for tomorrow em.

Zaa, I have never been more pregnant than I am currently so no advice to offer but please offload here if you need to.

Im glad others have said about sex. We've gone from daily to 2 timed since bfp. Both times ive had cramping for the next 8 odd hours and its really scared me to try again, at least until 20 weeks. Husband is understanding and completely appreciative of the fear. He also has it nearly as much no matter how much he tries to come across hopeful.

Fab to see your news Sooz! Xx

@zaalitje I'm not in my last month (far from it tbh). But just wanted to give you handhold. Really hope these next weeks go fast as possible for you and new baby soon to be in your arms.
I don't know what you have been through. But keep strong. These times are hard but it'll all be worth it. Xx

zaa I wonder if that is a sign that labour is near? I think your hormones can defo go a bit haywire towards the end. You have come so far - just a tiny bit longer to go now.

Have a letter to go to a different EPU this week. Hopefully scan on Thursday.

I am really glad I changed gynecologists. I went for my 24 week check up today and she asked again if I'd found a midwife and gave me some more tips. She also said once we've chosen a hospital she'd like to set up a meeting at 34 weeks with the consultant at that hospital so that everyone is clear about our situation and there is no confusion e.g. if somebody looks at my notes and sees information about potential genetic issues, whether they would try to take the baby off for further information and checks etc - she said it's nothing to do with risks for the pregnancy or birth and she's totally fine with me flying, having a waterbirth etc - it's literally just a confirmation, to make sure everyone's aware of the history, and I thought that was fantastic. I don't know that our other doctor would have done that.

Baby is 680 grams apparently which is amazing - when I googled that it came up about 24 week babies born at that weight It's a bit weird because it means we're almost definitely having a baby now whatever happens. Even if things went wrong they would have a good chance to save him now which is a really strange and unreal feeling.

That’s great news Bertie. And being past 24 weeks is fantastic too, a real milestone. The genetic issue is a higher risk of Angelman’s syndrome?

Congratulations @SoozC so pleased for you!!

I had a lot of sex in first trimester  as really wanted it more! Luckily I had no cramping or bleeding as that would have scared me off.
Unfortunately since about 18 weeks the bump has physically been getting in the way which means I can't be arsed with the faff! We have been um, creative but hormones have settled down too so I'm more inclined to be lazy...

@BertieBotts it is a weird feeling isn't it. I'm 25 weeks as of yesterday and there's really a fully formed baby in there!!?!

We've picked our name now which is making me pretty excited. He kicks regularly several times a day. This month we are getting our bedroom redone and next month the baby's room... then my travel system and birth pool arrive in July. only 3 months to go

Sorry I’ve been a little quiet, it’s been so hectic with work I’ve not had a chance to check in to see how you’re all doing!
Some exciting news in here. Love hearing other sex stories...my hubby and I are the complete opposite haha! From the minute we found out we’re expecting (all 5 times) that’s it, sex stops until baby arrives...and with our first that was about 4/5 months after!

Anyway, good news for us! We had our second reassurance scan today (I’m now 8+4) and baby has tripled in size since the last one and it’s heart was beating away. So relieved!
We’ve got our doctors appointment on Friday so they can book in for the first midwife visit but we’ve got another reassurance scan when I’m 10 weeks so fingers crossed everything continues to go well! I’m just so glad to get past the stage I was at with my 3 miscarriages so hopefully this is promising that this pregnancy will be one resulting in a healthy baby number 2! 🤞🏻

I just can't get out of my head that something will go wrong with the birth and I'll lose the baby or there will be a birth injury, ie lack of oxygen leading to cerebral palsy.

I'm also worried I'll lose bean before that point. Baby is in a position where I don't feel many movements and I'm scared something will go wrong and I'll miss it.

Just catching up on the thread. zaa I'm so sorry you're feeling so low - I know this has been such a long, stressful pregnancy for you. I know it's easier said than done but try and remember that feeling like this doesn't mean anything bad will happen - you've had lots of moments in this pregnancy where you thought a specific bad thing would happen and it didn't. Anxiety isn't prophecy.

Lovely to see good scan news for sooz and mummyjl (sorry for those that I've missed, haven't read very far back!). Good luck for those with scans coming up.

Big congratulations on passing 24 weeks, bertie and grumpy!

Also, zaa, have you talked to your doctor (you're consultant-led, aren't you?) about your fear of stillbirth or injury? Obviously they can't promise you there's no chance those things will happen, but they might be able to reassure you a bit about your individual risks, and tell you what they'll do to minimize the odds of something terrible happening.

Hi everyone, think I may be a lot earlier in pregnancy than you guys but 8+1 today after still birth 6 months ago. Anxiety through the roof. My midwife booked me in for an early scan last week which showed heartbeat but got another scan and appointment with my consultant today and so scared. I know how much can change in a week at this early stage!

Fingers crossed for all of us this time!

lisa well remembered, yes I'm under consultant care, problem is I see a different member of the consultants team each time. I've not discussed it much, didn't think I'd ever get to the next appointment, let alone thoughts on birth!
Did bring it up once, unfortunately I think I picked the wrong Dr to speak to as was completely dismissive.

I know the odds really are small of something going wrong but I've been on the wrong side of "a less than 1% chance of this bad thing happening" three times now for three unconnected pregnancy issues (i wont say what as the combination is outing and friends are aware). I'm just aware that someone will be that unlucky 1 in 1000 and there's no reason for it not to be me.

Baby being in an awkward position, where I don't feel movement regularly isn't helping things either :(

@zaalitje I'm the same as you. 29 + 2 here and worrying about movements, something going wrong etc. I'm going to mention it at my 31 week check up. Doesn't help that I'm getting lots of random pains, mainly digestion related! I hope you manage to speak to someone about how you're feeling. X

Sorry, zaa, I didn't mean 'chances are small so don't worry' - I know that you (completely understandably) don't find that helpful at all, I more meant that the doctor could talk about specific ways of mitigating risks. I'm really sorry the doctor was dismissive, and do think it might be worth trying again with a different (hopefully nicer!) one. I'm also finding consultant-led care frustratingly inconsistent at the moment - I have a consultant appointment this morning but no one has contacted me about the scan I was supposed to have despite me chasing (and the screening department don't even answer the phone!) so I think they're just going to tell me to come back again when that's done - such a waste of everyone's time!

unicorns wonderful news - congrats on your little girl!

running i was cycling with my second up to fairly late in my second pregnancy - i think if you're careful its totally fine, and your choice at the end of the day!

sooz so pleased all is well.

zaa i'm so sorry you feel so anxious.

I've had no sex since my BFP either peaches i think if all is ok at my 12 week scan then i'll be more up for it, but to be honest i've been so insanely tired i have no energy for it!

I've been keeping a low profile on here and real life until my scan next tuesday. Such a relief its only 5 days away now. I'm so nervous though about that NT measurement being high. I have much less worry now about a MMC - i feel seeing a live baby at 10 weeks has me feeling it'll be ok, but I'm really worried about this other potential problem.

Wiggle, I'm only 6+3! Good luck for your upcoming scan, I hope it's another reassuring one for you.

Fx for a scan, Para. Hopefully Thursday it is.

Cats, 5 days away! I bet time feels like it's really dragging! Hope all is well for you.

I am totally abstaining from sex for a few weeks. DH will understand, I'm sure. Even though I know too much time elapsed between sex and bleeding for it to have caused it, I'm just too twitchy. My acupuncturist treated my spleen points yesterday to help try to stop the blood. I really don't want to see anymore of that until next year!

I hate that I'm not feeling him often due to beans position, it has me on the edge of running PAU for monitoring several times a day:(

I'd much rather baby was out than in now, feels so so much safer than remaining in there where I can see nothing.

Congrats and welcome Wiggle4. That's brilliant to have seen a heartbeat already. (I'm so terribly sorry for the loss of your previous baby ).

Ah @SoozC, we've got a long way to go! FC! Have you had a scan yet?
Thank you @GreyCloudsToday, the scan today went well and had some time with the consultant which was reassuring. 8+4 going on today's measurements!

Yeah, Wiggle, I had one yesterday as had some bleeding. But we saw a heartbeat! Beats last time when there was just an empty sac at 7 weeks and I knew I was miscarrying.

Heart beat definitely a great sign @SoozC. Hope everything continues on track and no more bleeding-everything is such a worry!