Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

[BertieBotts]

Welcome everyone :)

I am feeling much more positive today, how is everyone else?

Great news @UnicornsandRainbows1! Girl here too! Xx

That’s wonderful @unicorns!

I’ve been so up and down over the last few days. On Friday we had a work away day and half way through the afternoon I really couldn’t take any more of the semi talking about feelings and burst into tears. Was very embarrassing and I ended up confiding in one of my closest colleagues that I was expecting again (she knew about the last 2). I really had a hard time with people being nice to me.
Then yesterday I felt much more positive but today I have had lower back pain and cramps and so am convinced it’s gone bad again. What a rollercoaster!

A question- does anyone ask not to see the screen at a scan until all is ok or is that just crazy?

@UnicornsandRainbows1 congratulations! So pleased for you. I know what you mean about finding out the sex. I'm convinced that my 10 week MMC last May was a girl (coming up for 1yr ago now...) but I'll never know - we found out via harmony this time at 10w, I needed to know.

@Anxiousfeelings when's your scan?

I've been struggling with the heat today. And I'm only 25 weeks! Sometimes I feel physically very trapped. Really looking forward to getting this baby out, once he's here safe it's going to be a big relief. Counting the weeks again now

@UnicornsandRainbows1 congatulations!

@Anxiousfeelings I ask not to see screen until they are sure what they are seeing first. I have too many bad memories of seeing a big empty sac during MMC and knowing exactly what would be said.

I'm finding it hard at the moment too. Nausea coming and going, still spotting on and off and generally emotional. I've dealt with the spotting by only wearing black underwear. It's probably not the most emotionally healthy way of coping but at least I don't have to look at it!

GP is fairly annoyed with EPU and is hopeful she can get me an appointment for a scan next week; if not I'll pay for another one.

@grumpysquirrel it is on Friday, have an appointment with the midwife on Wednesday.

@para oh I’m sorry you are also finding things hard. I hope EPU will see you. Thanks, that is good advice. I can also still see the scan of the tiny embryo when I had my first MMC. I had a scan at the same time with my DD and so immediately knew it didn’t look like that...

Hi everyone, personal question: Have you had sex this pregnancy or has your previous mc put you off?

We had sex for the first time last night, Peaches. I was worried because last time we had sex and the next day I started cramping and spotting. So last night it was strictly me on top so I could control depth (and my boobs are sore). No cramping or spotting today but it hasn't alleviated the fear. Next time will be just as 'careful'. I hate it, I know it won't affect the pregnancy but there's a small part of me that wonders and that puts me off. Poor DH, he's gone from loads of sex ttc to basically nothing!

SoozC you're defo right about depth and boobs. My mc started 4 days post sex so I don't think they were related but I still worry. I don't want to ruin my marriage, I'm sure I'd prefer sex now to post birth!

I haven't even thought about post-birth stuff (actually, little past 12 weeks!)... At least DH has got another 7 1/2 months to get used to it!

I am bleeding. No cramps. Oh god.

Have you rung your GP @Soozc? How far on are you? I bled with DD an she’s absolutely fine. Went for an early scan at 7+4 weeks.

Sooz the cervix cn be delicate in pregnancy and a little blood after sex isn't abnormal. I had a big bleed at 8 weeks, and when I last had sex was one of the first questions asked. Not because it causes mc, but because it can easily cause a small bleed.

Contact your mw though and let her know what's going on.

Is anyone here in their last month?
I'm 37 weeks and my anxiety is starting to get crazy again

I sometimes bleed after sex too. Hope everything is ok Sooz.

I'm having a glucose test today. Another 45 mins to wait to be tested.

I’ve been avoiding sex because of my short irritable cervix. And also early pregnancy seems to rob me of anything resembling a libido.

SoozC I hope everything is ok, will you be able to see EPU today? I still have spotting, will hopefully get a scan this week.

The sex was Sunday night, not sure it would take that long to bleed? No mw as haven't even had booking appointment yet (I seemed destined never to get that far) but GP made a scan appointment for 1:20pm. So scared.

Fell off this thread as well.

Unicorn! Congrats. Girls are ace :)

I have had NO sex since my BFP Peaches, even after our wedding on saturday night. I just have not been feeling it - I have spoken to the MW and she says we should be fine to just go for it despite previous losses, but I have had no mojo. I think I am going to just go for it once the dating scan is out of the way next week, if everyting is still fine. It has been over 2 weeks since the last scan now and I am getting a bit antsy to see everything is still ok.

Sooz lovely I have literally everything crossed it is nothing. No cramps is good. Both my last M/Cs were a combo of both.

@SoozC in my experience bleeding can go either way. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a good outcome for you.

Thinking of you @SoozC

Sooz sorry to hear about the bleeding. I hope all was ok with your scan.

I had my 25 week appointment with the midwife this morning which was all good. Then saw the practice nurse for my whooping cough vaccination now who decided to tell me off for the fact that I'm still cycling which I was not impressed with. I know many people wouldn't but it is how I get to work and I have changed my routes to go on quieter roads, more cycle paths etc and have felt completely comfortable doing so so far. But now she has made me really paranoid and stupid. Why can't people keep their opinions to themselves?!

Is anyone else in their last month?

So I'm 37 weeks and today I feel so low, I'm on the verge of tears at work, and have cried a couple of times. Just can't shake this horrid feeling that everything is about to go wrong.

Any tips for coping please?

Thank you for thoughts everyone, I'm so pleased to say we saw a heartbeat! Measures at 6+2 which is exactly what I thought, 6.1mm big. We are beyond relieved, just hope this signifies a good future.

Oh congratulations SoozC!! That’s brilliant news.

@SoozC that’s made my day! Fabulous news

Sooz thats fabulous news.

I've got another reassurance scan booked for tomorrow, will be 9+6. Our last MC everything had stopped at 9+4 so just to see things more advanced than that will be such a relief. I know I shouldn't worry because my symptoms are far stronger this time (it would be "officially" HG if I'd lost more weight but I'm fat so 5% is quite a bit to lose) but I am worried. I can't share the depth of it with DH - he just wouldn't understand and I don't know of any friends who have had more than one MC (we had two in five months last year) so while a lot of them are supportive, they're very much of the mindset that MC is a one-off and the next pregnancy "works".