Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

[BertieBotts]

Welcome everyone :)

I am feeling much more positive today, how is everyone else?

Yay! keeponrunning

Yay congratulations @keeponrunning85 you must be due a couple of days after me? I'm 24+2 today.

Good luck for your test results @Snorebrown x

Big hugs @MsMGS very sorry to hear your sad news

Congrats keeponrunning, what a big milestone!

I'm really sorry mrsmgs - it's so shit and so unfair. I hope you've got people around you to take care of you.

Congratulations on the good scan, snore and on hitting 24 weeks, keepon!

So I think I panicked over nothing and everything is just slowly moving upwards 🙈 At least I'll find out in a few days. Will try and catch up with everyone's news in a bit. I'm such a slow turtle 🐢

I’ve gone back to being very panicky and uncertain again. It keeps going I’ve and over in my head that that test should’ve been noticeably darker and it wasn’t.

The cramps have stepped it up a notch today also and my sore boobs have disappeared. I’ve got more tests coming today and I’m going to have to take one. At least that way I’m more likely to know whats happening and can either relax a bit or move on to the next cycle. This worrying is doing me no good whatsoever.

Yay for a good scan snore hopefully you’ll have nothing to worry about with the bloods. Especially if they weren’t worried about the NT measurement. I’m sure the results will come through within a week maybe?

And hooray for the 24 week mark keepon that must feel great.

toothpaste I’m sorry you’ve gone back to worrying and cramping. I hope the tests are positive, but also remember those things can be misleading too.

Thanks nocats. How are things with you?

And I'm just behind you Grumpy and keepon :) I will be there on Friday.

There are three hospitals in my city and I've been thinking I'd better get a move on with choosing one so I held a coffee morning today where five mums came over and we all discussed birth experiences and I was trying to get a feel for what the standard is/what I need to ask when I go to look around the hospitals. We also had five kids here ranging from 10 weeks to 2.5 so that was also fun. It was really nice AND my colleague/friend is pregnant again and due 10 weeks after me! So I'm super excited for her and soo happy to have somebody local to do this with and hang out with as a family (hopefully - as we've definitely discussed before that we must force our husbands to interact as they would get on XD)

Thanks snore I’m ok, 11 weeks tomorrow. Still worried about what that woman said at my 10 week scan about the Nuchal fluid but also trying to remain positive and know I have a baby with limbs and a heartbeat!!

@NoCatsHere she really shouldn’t have mentioned it- it’s not an accurate measure so early and it’s obviously going to worry you.

I had severe nausea on tube today, dreading trip home.

Any chance you could ask for scan to be earlier nocats? Mine was done at 11+3 and they were able to measure NT. Might be worth an ask to save you waiting...

Thanks para for the reassurance. Hope you get back today on the tube ok.
snore thanks, I really want my OH to come and he can only get Tuesdays off work and I work freelance and annoyingly I’m working next Tuesday so the only Tuesday we have free is the 15th. At least I’ll be 12+3 so I should have an accurate reading then.

@para oh no nausea on the tube must be awful! Hope the trip back is ok.

I’m 8 weeks today and am now seeing every little pain or ache as a reason to believe it has all gone wrong again. I was managing to be pretty positive before this but now it’s getting so close to the time that the first MMC failed..... and I didn’t know then! I feel a bit like I’m in a fog and I’m having nightmares about the actual scan.

Nausea lifted after lunchtime so trip home was fine. Obviously I’m back to pointlessly worrying about that fact now!

Can someone hand me a grip.

Obviously the reason I'm not throwing my guts up today is because the medication the doctor has prescribed is working, not because everything has Gone Wrong. And logically, I know that. Emotionally...nah. Just nah. Does. Not. Compute.

@emwithme I’m sure it’s just the medication.

I’m panicking too. Nausea gone completely, breasts not tender and Fitbit says my heart rate has dropped quite a bit. Can’t help but think it’s looking bad for me.

Someone needs to whack me in the head with a spade. Scan is tomorrow and even know it's been 4 weeks since we last saw the baby, part of me is thinking it's a long time for something to just happen.

I'm also getting some deja vu as we're going to the same place we went to during our last pregnancy (went there once for this one too), and although I know it's completely stupid, I can't help but think well this is our second visit and last time we found out about our mmc during the 2nd visit so it must be the same again. It's not the same. We've never gotten this far or had an opportunity to find out the gender before (it's important to me as I feel like there's this big part of the others I know nothing about. Silly I know). I just can't shift this nonsense.

Actually I'm going to ask this as it's driving me nuts and I seem to be too stupid to grasp the concept of this. At some point does it become acceptable to starting calling someone 'mummy'? Knowing full well they've had miscarriages too. I am starting to get referred to as this (like "how's mummy doing?" when asking how I am) or being asked for 'bump pics' so I ignore it as I don't want to start an argument, but then they ask again I just, fucking, I just want to fucking scream at them and ask how they'd feel if they had to delete all of those memories over and over again. It's too hard!

I get they're all excited and whatnot but seriously I just want everyone to leave me alone and let me just ride this pregnancy out. I don't want to be called mum, and what purely because we're further along this time that seems okay now? I know it's not intentional but I already was one, twice over. Okay no-one got to meet them but it's bloody hurtful all the same. And I already feel like I'm part of this stupid poxy motherhood club, even if no-one else thinks so.

Sorry I just needed to get that off my chest

Just wanted to say after two MMC last year, I had the first scan at 13+5 yesterday and all went well . Saw the baby hiccuping and drinking, it was adorable. The relief is immense.

Great news on the scan mousefunky!

Rant away unicorns. I'm totally with you. A couple of friends sent me happy mother's day msgs this year and it made me feel, well, many things really. One didn't know about my miscarriages until I told her I was pregnant this time round but one did and she didn't send msgs the previous 2 mother's days.

I guess people just mean well and try and let it was over me. Fortunately no-one has called me mummy!

Oh @UnicornsandRainbows1 I really know where u are coming from. It's so hard to be excited and everyone else so so easily forgets what we have lost.

I'm struggling with telling any family at the moment just want to say nothing until I can't really hide it. Just don't want all these big congratulations.

So happy for u @Mousefunky must be such a relief. Xx

Congrats, Mouse, it must be a good relief!

Unicorns, good luck for the scan tomorrow. Personally I'd quite like it if more people recognised the fact I consider myself a mum, despite only having had one pregnancy that ended at 7 1/2 weeks. I got one Happy Mothers Day text from my cousin, who had a mc herself and understands how I feel. But everyone is different. I'm sorry you find it hard, not sure what to suggest. :(

I'm having a fucking daughter guys! And she's okay

Oh and I full-on cried like a bitch 😁

Oh, that's lovely, Unicorns! I'm so glad it went well and she's fine!