Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

[BertieBotts]

Welcome everyone :)

I am feeling much more positive today, how is everyone else?

Thanks paranormal I’m sorry you’re bleeding again. It really does sound a nightmare, even if there’s a reason we are so programmed to think bleeding equals bad news. It must be exhausting for you mentally.

And you’re right I will be reassured with a scan. The private ones fall on crap days for me work wise/looking after my toddler.
Going to see if I can get one done tomorrow. Otherwise maybe next Saturday. I miss counted though and it’s only 2 weeks 1 day until my 12 week one which isn’t too bad I guess.

I've been away from the thread for a bit as work has been insane. Relaxing a bit more re the pregnancy as I'm getting lots of movement every day. 24 weeks now!

Sorry to hear the first trimester is proving so stressful for so many of you. It's often a shitty time even for those with no history of MC. Hope the weeks pass quickly for you all x

@hotcookie congratulations!! Sounds like a great birth experience

I definitely want to avoid induction as nearly everyone I know who has had one has ended up with EMCS anyway. But I doubt I'll go overdue. I'm planning a home birth but have to get checked by consultant at 36wks due to history of pre term delivery. As long as I make it to 37w this time I should be allowed to stay home 🤞🏼

@TheGrumpySquirrel congratulations on getting to 24 weeks. My first milestone is 12 weeks, and because of my short cervix I’m at high risk of second trimester loss or premature birth so 24 weeks is my second milestone. Seems a long way at circa 6 weeks.

Just had my first serious bout of retching- making goose fat roast potatoes (fat collected at Xmas when cooking goose) and spooning it into the roasting dish had me gagging.

Congrats @TheGrumpySquirrel! 24 weeks is such a great milestone.

@Paranormalbouquet I'm not surprised you feel so on edge with the bleeding. I would be the same. Could you contact your midwife about the anxiety it's causing?

@iamloading so glad all was ok. How worrying for you!

@NoCatsHere I was so paranoid about losing symptoms in the first 12 weeks. Mine came and went quite a bit. Hope you manage to get a scan arranged.

@Waggily Welcome to the thread, and I'm so sorry for your previous loss. Congratulations on your new pregnancy.

We had a 4D scan done yesterday at 27+5. I kept crying when I looked at the photos of our little girl when we got home! I just felt so overwhelmed and grateful.

@Flatwhite32 the scans are amazing aren’t they? I had loads of anomaly scans with DD which was always terrifying but the consultant would give me a lovely short 3D/4D view at the end each time. She loves seeing those pictures even now.

I don’t have a midwife yet, don’t book until 8 weeks. I don’t think they’ll settle the anxiety anyway, just have to wait it out and hope for the best I think.

@keeponrunning85 @Paranormalbouquet thanks for your thoughts, after the amount of bleeding I've had today I'm pretty sure I'm now out, def don't feel pg anymore, just horribly crampy. Going to call epu in morning & hopefully get seen tomorrow, like you yesterday Paranormal, I'll be making the trip on my own which I'm not looking forward to. :(
I guess age is not on my side these days!

Oh I’m sorry to hear that @MsMGS, hopefully they see you tomorrow so you know either way.

I had some maternity jeggings in trimester 1 which fit fine - if they are snug enough it's alright IME.

We seem to be going back and forth again on car seats. I thought we were sorted on that front but DH has suddenly decided we should look at 0+/1 seats as well. They are SO eye wateringly expensive here in Germany. I'm half tempted to buy a Joie Tilt next time we're in the UK and just wrap it really really really well for the plane!

How far to go, Bertie?

I'm sorry that this has been such an anxious weekend for so many on here.

Huge congratulations on hitting the 24 week milestone, grumpy!

Had to go again for the heart monitoring today - they've now decided that the best thing to do is for me to have a scan, so that they can (hopefully) rule out any structural issues with his heart entirely. Hoping to have that this week.

How are you feeling, Bertie? Are you feeling more settled and confident now that decisions about amnios etc are behind you?

@LisaSimpsonsbff hopefully the cardiac scan will be reassuring. It’s very stressful constantly going in for monitoring.

My DD had a kidney anomaly picked up at 12 weeks and we had scans every 2-4 weeks- we knew one kidney wouldn’t function but it looked like the surviving kidney had an issue too. It was so stressful constantly having scans and not knowing until she was born if she would need emergency surgery or not. As it happened she pee’d all over the nurse who carried her over to weigh her after c-section so it became clear her one kidney was functioning just fine!

Thanks paranormal. They keep saying it's nothing to worry about (and each of the three times they've had me on the CGT this week everything has been just fine) but I hate having to go into hospital this much - I actually think they've gone a bit overkill with the checks to be kind to me because I have documented anxiety issues, but (at the risk of being ungrateful) I'm not finding it reassuring, it just gets me worked up each time I have to go in. It'll be really nice to have a scan which will hopefully be much more conclusive (I know no scan can tell you 100%, but the CGT really doesn't seem to be giving us any useful information at all).

I know, I didn’t find my multiple anomaly scans in any way reassuring either. In your case a Fetal heart scan will at least outrule any structural issues which could cause it. Will it be soon?

@LisaSimpsonsbff I had a cardiac scan on Monday - well, the baby did. Oddly, that and the anomaly scan were the only scans I've felt reassured by. Hopefully once you've had one, it'll help.

Thanks - I think you're both right that hopefully I'll feel better after the scan. They said I'd be contacted about the scan in the next few days, but I don't know what the delay will be between that and actually having it.

I'm 23 weeks now so plenty of time to decide thankfully.

Yes I think I am feeling more settled now that no more decisions but I am still a bit detached since then, which is disappointing, since I'd relaxed so much the day before.

lisa good luck for when that scan arrives. I hope nothing serious is detected.

mrsmgs sorry your bleeding, I hope you got hold of EPU and are being seen today.

I caved and have booked a private scan today for 12.30. I feel better already knowing one way or another I’ll know whether all is Ok in there. Should be about 10+3 today. And really all was ok at my 9 week scan. It’s only my own self doubt that has caused me feeling I need another scan before 12 weeks.

Checking in here. I am an ancient mum. I have a DD and am 17 weeks pregnant, almost. MW app this week. I feel anxious. I had an early MC two years ago and it doesn’t seem so easy to relax and wait now. I had lots of nausea till week 12, then feeling better but bump is growing very slowly, mostly bloated during the day! x

Thanks everyone, currently on a ward! Scan showed no sac :( but now have side/back pain instead of cramping. Bloods taken to see if HCG is dropping, they want to check it's def a MC & not ectopic.

OH not going to get home before 6, luckily I have friends who have collected DS from school. Hoping battery on phone lasts another few hours as I didn't think to bring a book!

@MsMGS I’m so sorry to hear that, fingers crossed it’s not an ectopic.

mrsMGS sorry to hear that, hope you get results back soon and it’s not eptopic.

Well my scan was fine, baby in there and heartbeat and all four limbs. Looked very different to 9 weeks, more baby like. And although I’m over he moon about it being ok the scanner put a bit of a dampener on the whole thing by saying my nuchal fluid was on the thicker side at 3mm. She said it was still within range but to be aware of it at the 12 week scan. So obviously now I have a new worry and am googling myself stupid about that. I wish she’s never mentioned it to be honest. I’m now going to spend the next two weeks worrying about this.

@MsMGS sorry for your news. Hope you get clarity soon.

@Nocats that is such a shame that you were told that at the end of such a positive scan. I’d be the same - worrying myself silly but im sure it will be fine.

I’ve contracted a horrible sore throat and swollen glands so now I’m getting worried about getting a fever and also the possibility of taking time off work as that will mean it is more difficult to take time off if everything goes badly in a couple of weeks....

So sorry to hear this @MsMGS
Really hope (in the nicest possible way!) your HCG levels are dropping. Mine went up after my first MC for over a week so they suspected ectopic but my body sorted itself out eventually.
Hope you get seen soon xx

I’m having a really odd day today...I’m sure it’s just my hormones but I’m all over the place! Feel like somethings going to go wrong all the time. Trying to keep myself busy otherwise I just go into panic mode. I’ll be so glad once I get to the 12 week mark. Or even my next scan next Tuesday (I’ll be 8+3)
I’ve had 3 miscarriages in the last 9 months and I’ve never got this far in the pregnancies so I should be slightly relieved but I just can’t relax in this pregnancy!
My pregnancy with my daughter was a breeze! Never even imagined what miscarriage does to a woman of how it makes you feel 😬