Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

[BertieBotts]

Welcome everyone :)

I am feeling much more positive today, how is everyone else?

Oh, Para, I hope it's all okay. Got everything crossed for you.

Scan just done. Looks like there’s a little baby, very tiny, few days behind my dates and a separate area bleeding. Flicker of heartbeat. I’m 6+1 by my dates and measure 5+4/5+5 but obviously not so accurate at this point. Looks like subchorionic haematoma.

Just have to wait and see.

@Paranormalbouquet it's good that there's a heartbeat and that they've found where the bleeding has come from. I bled at 5, 8, 10, 12, 13 and 16 - 18 weeks and they didn't find the cause and touchwood she's still hanging on.

Really hoping everything is okay for you this time. When is your next scan?

OMG paranormal where there’s life there’s hope and I’ve heard about the haematomas before. Fingers crossed for you

Also there is no pretending that you aren't going to be terrified all the time. I am still knicker checking and wearing sanitary towels. I can't trust my body or my intuition now.

Thanks everyone, all I can do is wait and see. Haematomas are associated with slightly higher risk miscarriage but I’m already at a higher risk so that’s not changing it much.

Obviously I’m anxious re size when I know logically that 3-4 days is a really tiny difference this early on. And I’m not convinced by the flicker sonographer said was heartbeat but I’ll try to trust him on that!

I’ll call EPU on Monday but my local ones are fairly unfriendly in my sadly extensive experience to date! I do work in a hospital but don’t want my colleagues seeing me going to that unit or putting staff under pressure to scan me because I’m a staff member. Also think I could have a daily scan and not be especially reassured!

I'm really glad that the situation isn't as hopeless as first thought, paranormal, but so sorry you have to go through this extra worry. I hope the bleeding stops asap.

@Paranormalbouquet even with 3 miscarriages EPU are unhelpful? Bleeding should mean you don't have any issues being seen. It's always the receptionists that I battled with but once I got through them the doctors were lovely.

Was the private scan transvaginal?

@kirinm they have said because 2 of the miscarriages were pre 6 weeks and managed at home they wouldn’t really consider them losses. And I’ve been told on numerous occasions to “just be positive” and that “it’s good you can conceive”.

I’m probably a bit bitter but found them totally unhelpful with the MMC. I called last week and they grudgingly said they’d scan be a 9 weeks “but it won’t make any difference anyway”. I might call my lovely GP and see about getting referred to a different EPU. I’m in London so no shortage of them.

And yes transvaginal scan. Sonographer seemed shocked when I said I’d prefer it and that as half of London has had a look already with my cervix issue, what’s one more person!

I had been temping last month even though wasn’t trying as wanted to see a baseline and actually FF put my ovulation date as Monday 2nd (having initially said Friday 30th) so maybe the scan is on track. Hopefully!

paranormal if you can, I really would try being referred to a different EPU - my history is very similar to yours (three MC, two at 5/6 weeks, one missed discovered at 7) and my local EPU never suggested that the first two didn't 'count', so this definitely isn't blanket policy and another one may be far more helpful.

Thanks @LisaSimpsonsbff. The thing is that I need to go to this hospital’s preterm birth clinic if I get past the first trimester as I will need a cervical cerclage placed. But yes I really disliked the EPU, and the thought of going back actually really upsets me. I had the same doctor each time bar one with MMC (and there was a lot of visits) and I found her patronising (told me I probably had my dates wrong by 4 weeks- I hadn’t even had sex in over 6! And constantly told me to be positive, it’s “just a miscarriage”). She also told me I was being paranoid when I said there was a infection after 3 weeks of bleeding and only listened when I insisted she measure my temperature which was 39 degrees.

To be fair the other doctor I met was lovely, not patronising at all and he did my ERPC. He was pretty shocked at how bad the infection was and sent me home with very strong painkillers and 3 weeks of antibiotics. I just think my other visits really upset me at an upsetting time.

I’m a HCP but was obviously a patient in that situation and felt that doctor 1 really expected me to have my rational HCP hat on when it’s really not possible.

Rant over! Just the bleeding brought it all back a bit! I suppose there’s no reason I can’t go to one EPU and switch over for booking visit and preterm clinic if I get to that point.

I'm at Kings and they've been great really. And they have a pre-term clinic. Could you consider going there or is it too far?

It's far enough but as I'll be having an elcs either way it doesn't matter massively I suppose. My workplace isn't too far from Chelsea and Westminster which is another option.

I like the pre-term consultant in my local hospital, just really can't stress how bad I found the EPU. It is of course possible that it's just the upset clouding my judgement!

I suppose there’s no reason I can’t go to one EPU and switch over for booking visit and preterm clinic if I get to that point.

Absolutely - my understanding is that you can always do this, but they're especially unlikely to make it hard given your specific need for the pre-term clinic. The first trimester after loss is so horrible, the last thing you need is HCPs who make you feel worse - my local EPU were great, and that really did help.

@Paranormalbouquet so sorry you’re going through all this anxiety. It annoys me when they tell you it’s not considered a loss when you’ve had early miscarriages previously. My miscarriages were at 6+4, 4+3 and 4+5 and to me they were all losses that I really struggled with!

That’s great they saw a heartbeat so hopefully all is ok. I know some bleeding is ok but after having an MC I can only imagine the panic when it started this time. Fingers crossed that little bean stays in there and continues to grow!

I’m 7+1 today and had some horrible pains last night which I was sure was the start of another mc but I’m fine now and had no bleeding so fingers crossed it’s just everything stretching.
Next scan is in just over a week 😬

@Paranormalbouquet that's awful your EPU are being so dismissive. When I had my MMC, they said they'd scan me in my next pregnancy at 6/7 weeks, yet when I phoned them bleeding at 6 weeks during this current pregnancy, they said no to a scan! I phoned my GP in tears (she was fantastic when I had the MMC). She couldn't believe it, and when she phoned them, lo and behold I got an appointment! Do you think your GP could help out?

@LisaSimpsonsbff just catching up on messages here. The anxiety never leaves does it?! We had a lovely 4D scan of our girl today, but I know I'll go back to worrying in a few days! We just have to hope it'll all be ok.

Hello just popping in. Its not sunk in yet but we heard an 8plus2 baby's heartbeat today and saw a little wriggle plus the blood flow forming in the placenta and tube starting.

I also feel like this is prerecorded and not actually my stomach. Husband is very happy and im stone cold. Hoping it leaves soon??

@Flatwhite32 my GP is fantastic. She’s been through 2 consecutive miscarriages so she totally gets it. I’ll call her next week and see what she advises. Although I’m sure nothing will really reassure me.

Congrats @BloominMoomin89!

I also feel like this is prerecorded and not actually my stomach. Husband is very happy and im stone cold. Hoping it leaves soon??

Congratulations on the scan! That's exactly how I felt too - I had all these ideas about how I'd feel when I finally saw a good scan, that it would be magical and I'd cry, etc - but actually I felt disbelieving and a bit disconnected. Each time, though, the relief and happiness did kick in, just a few hours (maybe even a day) later. I think it's hard to accept good news when you've been bracing yourself so hard for bad.

I’ve just done another FRER and it’s not as dark as Thursdays.

This never bodes well for me, along with the cramps I’ve been experiencing (no bleeding yet though) I’m guessing that I’m going to lose this baby. WIll try again in the morning and see if it’s any darker but would’ve expected the line to be much darker by now.

Devastated.

@Iswallowtoothpaste how many weeks do you think you are? I hope it’s not bad news. In my experience it can go either way.

With DD I had a faint line Friday, spotting and negative test Sunday and a few days later when bleeding hadn’t progressed a proper dark line (my obstetrician at time thought probably a vanishing twin). Other times it has been predictive of an early losses. I’ll keep everything crossed for you.

Actually I’ve just seen your other thread and I think that line is much darker!