Cheeky mother in law 😡 Need advice

[princesspxx]

Ahhhh i am fuming today and need a rant and a bit of advice really. So I’m nearly 27 weeks now, and booked a 4D scan for me and my partner to go to to see our little girl.

It’s been a bit of a difficult week, I’ve been uncomfortable/tired and quite anxious etc so this was a way of relieving some of that anxiety. So anyway, my partners mum rang us asking if his little sister could go with us, she’s 5. Hesitantly I said yes as I was put on the spot over the phone.

After thinking about it, I thought first of all maybe it’s not appropriate (if something came up on the scan etc how would we explain that to her?), and like I said before I was anxious and just wanted me and my partner to go. So I texted his mum and explained that I wasn’t sure if his sister should come or not and explain why, she was nice to me and said okay let her know tomorrow (which is the day of the scan).

Next thing I know, she’s at my door and his little sister is asking whAt time we are going to see the baby!! It really took me off guard. Anyway next thing I know his mum is storming out the house telling her daughter she can’t go to the scan. My partner has fallen out with me and said he wasn’t going either as I was horrible to not “let” his sister go. Even though I never promised her OR said she wasn’t going. I never said anything to her.

So unfortunately I went to the scan by myself. Everything fine but I really wanted him there and it upsets me that this has caused such a big falling out. It also pisses me off that his mum is now slagging menoff for “letting her daughter down” and apparently not making a big enough fuss over her and taking her. They’d left before I even said one word!!!

Honestly, I just needed a rant. His mum has a bad habit of giving something (she paid some money towards the scan which we didn’t know about till she text saying she had put money in the bank) basically so we would take her daughter with us, who’s off school poorly with a stomach bug so To me , if she’s off school sick she’s too poorly toncome to a scan and have a day out. Not to mention his other siblings would feel left out.

I feel like a complete bitch now but I made it clear to my partner I just wanted us to go, but apparently that’s an awful thing to do and now I’m left alone upset whilst he goes to his mums and they slag me off :(

Please ignore Diana
For a start she has ignored your family in her little scenario
You are an independent person and are growing your own family. And she is talking bollocks

Diana's talking bollocks.

Ignore.

Maybe Diana is an overbearing MIL herself??

@Diana1998 like others have pointed out, a scan. Anything could have gone wrong.

Also me and MIL have actually been quite close - shopping trips etc. Always texting each other. It’s just she completely overreacted when I didn’t want her to go.

And just because her mum thought she was fit enough to go to a medical scan (with other pregnant people in the waiting room!) after a stomach bug is stupid. She just wanted some drama!

I haven't read the full thread so apologies if this has already been raised.

even referred to my baby as being like her daughters little doll.

Really? I suspect this is a foretaste of what's to come when your baby is born. I hope you have a support network of your own to look after your interests if the interference continues.

@princesspxx how are things?

I had my first daughter at 19, my ex was exactly the same. Luckily his mother is and was a delight but he would never think about what I want. When I was in labour his family were coming and going though I'd told him to tell them not to which he didn't. While I was pregnant he was abusive, calling me names and telling me because it upset me to the point of tears it would be my fault if our daughter had anything "wrong" with her. When he had our daughter he wasn't interested and constantly called me names etc. If we had fights and used our daughter as a weapon, we broke up when she was 1. My advice to you is if this is not an isolated incident, if he behaves like this frequently and does not take your side on matters like these you need to leave him. Trust me it's not the end of the world and you'll manage and do well. I was a single mother at 20, now I'm married to a wonderful man, expecting our second baby, got my degree and own my own home and have my eldest still with me. Things I would never have been able to do if I'd of stayed with the father of my 1st child at 19.

If it's a 4d scan it's cosmetic, surely? You've already had your anomaly scan which would show any defects etc?

Anyway, you aren't being unreasonable and your partner sounds awful. He should stand by you on this.

Why on earth do you want to be with some bloke who thinks you should be grateful that '....at least I don't beat you?' WTF should you be appreciative?
For heaven's sake op chuck him out, along with his freaky family before it's too late. He sounds like a total waste of space to me, you can do infinitely better than have him around.
This is just a taster of what's to come, for goodness sake see the signs of an abusive asshole.