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Pregnancy

She called me an older mum!

159 replies

Trulyscrumptious12 · 09/02/2018 01:01

So I’ve been trying to get to sleep for the last 2 hours but something has really been bugging me. Me and dh went to our first antenatal class today, I was so excited and did enjoy it but while I was there these 2 girls kept staring at me, as we were leaving they asked me how old I was and I told them (I’m 28, dh is 30) they laughed and told me I’m well to old to be having my first baby and people would think I’m it’s granny when I pick them up from school. I know I shouldn’t let it bother me but it did, it’s all I’ve thought about all evening, yes I would have liked to have had kids earlier but I didn’t meet dh until I was 26 luckily we wanted the same things, we got married after 6 months and 6 months after that I got pregnant. So I guess what I’m asking is: what age do you think is a young mum? What age do you think is an old mum? How old were/are you when you’re having you babies?

OP posts:

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Lavenderdays · 09/02/2018 11:32

Ignore these 'girls' next time, they sound extremely immature.

32 with first dc....having my last at nearly 44. Don't worry, it really doesn't matter...there are both pro's and cons to having children early/later (I think 28 is around the average age to have first dc these days) I do worry sometimes that I will be a lot older than my peers (but fortunately have been told often that I look 7 or 8 years younger). Friends and health professionals haven't batted an eyelid so far - hopefully because they have actually forgotten just how old I am!

ambereeree · 09/02/2018 11:55

I'm in North london and most of the pregnant ladies I'm seeing a groups are 35 plus. I'm more surprised at seeing mums under 30.

Loonyluna16 · 09/02/2018 12:00

With the average age of girls giving birth in my area I'm an "older mum" I'm 25... sitting in the midwifes waiting room is like sitting in a high school class I wouldn't let it bother you.. it was extremely rude but these days it's kids having kids who still don't grasp the concept on how to speak to people. It boils my blood x

Oysterbabe · 09/02/2018 12:25

None of my friends had kids under 30. There was no one under 30 in my antenatal classes.

Presh12345 · 09/02/2018 12:38

Uaemum are you still in uae. I am too. In was pregnant at 38 and had MMC. Now 39.

DrCoconut · 09/02/2018 12:51

38 when I had DS3. Some babies at groups had grannies not much older than me. I'm 40 now and people I was at school with are becoming grandparents.

BeachOrPool · 09/02/2018 12:55

With the average age of girls giving birth in my area I'm an "older mum" I'm 25... sitting in the midwifes waiting room is like sitting in a high school class I wouldn't let it bother you.. it was extremely rude but these days it's kids having kids who still don't grasp the concept on how to speak to people. It boils my blood*

Rubbish, most teenagers aren't brainless idiots and do speak well to people. They're not all horrible so and so's that the OP has experienced.

In fact, I remember my MW telling me a lot of younger mums feel embarrassed and often don't attend antenatal classes as a result

happytobemrsg · 09/02/2018 12:58

That's so strange. I was 27 when I was pregnant with DS and was by far the youngest mum in my NCT class

GreasyHairDoNotCare · 09/02/2018 13:07

Those girls were definitely out of order. I am 17 and became a mum 6 months ago. I spent my whole pregnancy and the past 6 months not drawing attention to the fact I was so young compared to others at baby groups and so on. Some of the most valuable advice I have got with regards to parenthood has been from older ladies at these classes. You are still in your prime! Don't let it upset you.

Nomad86 · 09/02/2018 13:08

Had mine at 27 and 29 I'm the youngest mum in my social circle by at least 5 years.

youcantalwaysgetwhatyouwantt · 09/02/2018 13:27

With the average age of girls giving birth in my area I'm an "older mum" I'm 25... sitting in the midwifes waiting room is like sitting in a high school class I wouldn't let it bother you.. it was extremely rude but these days it's kids having kids who still don't grasp the concept on how to speak to people. It boils my blood

Rubbish, most teenagers aren't brainless idiots and do speak well to people. They're not all horrible so and so's that the OP has experienced.

In fact, I remember my MW telling me a lot of younger mums feel embarrassed and often don't attend antenatal classes as a result*.

Exactly!! I was a teenage mum and would never dream of speaking to anyone like that.

Unfortunately, you get some nasty people. It goes both ways, as I'm sure like myself, many young parents face/faced nasty comments from older women.

I would just ignore op, there are some dicks out there - regardless of their age.

TheMathsTrainee · 09/02/2018 13:29

You are not an older mum.

Nowhere near.

MissWilmottsGhost · 09/02/2018 13:32

'Primagravida' means first pregnancy magic it's the 'elderly' bit some healthcare workers use to describe women over 35

Tiredmum100 · 09/02/2018 13:38

I was 28 when I had my first, 30 with my second. Mmm. People are funny things. I really wouldn't let it bother you!

Backenette · 09/02/2018 13:42

A friend of mine had her first at a similar age. She was the oldest in the antenatal group and had similar comments.
Half way through the pregnancy she moved areas and found herself the youngest in her new antenatal group by about seven years.
Old area was shall we say a tad rougher than the new one.

Absolutely laughable to say that 28 is an older Mum. It’s probably slightly under the first time average. Neither old nor young. I was 36 when I had my first.

SeeKnievelHitThe17thBus · 09/02/2018 13:44

Good job we're not at your antenatal class. I'm 41 and DH will be 49 when the baby arrives. I'm sure they'll be thrilled to know they can keep reproducing for at least another 20 years.

I had my first one at 33 which wasn't old where we live. 28 may have been older when my mum was breeding but not since the 1970s. I thnk women tend to gt more life experience before hanving a family now. I didn't even meet DH until I was 25.

DuckNoodles · 09/02/2018 14:05

What rude little bitches. You are in no way old!! You should have laughed and said ‘How funny- we were just thinking how young you two KIDS were to be having babies!’

Oliversmumsarmy · 09/02/2018 14:13

Good grief 38 and 40 for me

Friend was 46 and I know friend of a friend who was 49. That was a shock

TheFirstMrsDV · 09/02/2018 14:50

This. Although posters have jumped at the opportunity to have a pop at young mums so I guess the thread has had the desired effect

This also

YassQueen · 09/02/2018 14:53

it's kids having kids who still don't grasp the concept on how to speak to people

18 year old mums are not "kids having kids" fgs.

mum2bemay22 · 09/02/2018 16:30

I’m 24 and having my first baby, my husband is 25 and I always feel like we are really young compared to other pregnant couples around us. I disagree with the person who posted that older mums are in a better position than younger mums, I feel that’s completely dependent on the individuals, I’m only 24 but I’m married and I am now on my second home that I own and I have a career so feel that’s unfair on us younger people! Ignore the girls who said that to you, 28 is fine in my opinion!

Twitchett22 · 09/02/2018 16:51

Im 26 and pregnant with my first. I went on a night out when i was first pregnant and a girl asked me why i wasn't drinking. When i told her i was pregnant she looked horrified, asked me if i was single and basically said I'm way too young and ruining my 20s so you really can't win.
You have a baby when you're ready, i still feel too young some days but when i look at some other people my age im in a much better position financially, relationship etc than a lot of them. Who cares how old you are.
The age of those two girls is irrelevant, they're just rude. I would never dream of commenting on someone's age during pregnancy, be it old or young. Plus you never know other people's circumstances. Some people ttc for YEARS, not everyone wants to be an 'older mum', and on the other hand some mums could think of nothing worse than having their babys in their teens/20s

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littleskittle · 09/02/2018 18:02

What nasty rude girls - classic mean girls, staring you out and trying to make you feel bad. They knew calling you old would make you feel crap. And btw you are def young!!
I was 36 and 37 for mine!

MummytoCSJH · 09/02/2018 18:06

I had my son at 16. My mum has a son 3 months later at 42. Your baby will be fine and the people saying this are just rude!! Good luck xx

isthismummy · 09/02/2018 18:51

I'm quite concerned to read such pathetically immature girls are reproducing to be honest

You are a mere slip of a girl op. I'm pregnant with my first (twins) at 39. Christ knows what they would make of me

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