She called me an older mum!

[Trulyscrumptious12]

So I’ve been trying to get to sleep for the last 2 hours but something has really been bugging me. Me and dh went to our first antenatal class today, I was so excited and did enjoy it but while I was there these 2 girls kept staring at me, as we were leaving they asked me how old I was and I told them (I’m 28, dh is 30) they laughed and told me I’m well to old to be having my first baby and people would think I’m it’s granny when I pick them up from school. I know I shouldn’t let it bother me but it did, it’s all I’ve thought about all evening, yes I would have liked to have had kids earlier but I didn’t meet dh until I was 26 luckily we wanted the same things, we got married after 6 months and 6 months after that I got pregnant. So I guess what I’m asking is: what age do you think is a young mum? What age do you think is an old mum? How old were/are you when you’re having you babies?

I really am struggling to believe that even the most ridiculously immature teenage mums would say TO YOUR FACE that you were old at 28

This. Although posters have jumped at the opportunity to have a pop at young mums so I guess the thread has had the desired effect.

I'm pregnant with my first and I'm 28, husband is 29 - I wasn't under the impression we were particularly old to be having our first (we're one of the first from our friend groups to be having a baby), so I hope we're not old!

I really don't know why you're worrying about this, it must be pregnancy hormones, because really, who cares how old you are? It sounds like you're trying to justify to yourself why you're having a baby so 'late' when in actual fact, 28 is young. I was 29 with my first and didn't want one before then because I was too busy enjoying my life before babies came along and I started on the next stage. If there were women there of all ages then I think they were just being mean and having a laugh and chose you to be the target unfortunately. The only way they would think you'd look like a granny is if all the late 20s women they know are actually grannies. When your little one eventually goes to school you will find a mixture of parents from teens up to 50s.

I hate the descriptions young and old when it comes to being a mother. I’m having my 3rd at 27. People judge me for that but my life was sorted when I had my first so what does it matter? Everyone should keep their opinions to themselves when it comes to age.

First DC at 37 hoping I'll have another soon!

I would have just told them to shut up. Me and hubby are 27 and I don't think we are old or young.

I've had mum friends some of whom have been older and many of whom have been considerably younger. It really shouldn't matter (except that one's cultural terms of reference can sometimes be very different!).

And FWIW I've never felt 'judged' by young mums with whom I've been friends.

35 (just) and next one I’ll be 37 (nearly 38)!

How could a 28 year old be a grandmother

I was 20 when I had dc1 and I was very conscious and aware that I was a much younger mum and felt like I was constantly being judged. I was even once asked when he was a baby if I was babysitting my little brother!! I hated it though and always tried to avoid being asked how old I was and hope people would assume I was older!

While I could be completely wrong, those girls could have come from families where it's completely normal to start having babies in their teens. Most people I know who had a baby during their teenage years, it was the norm for them and they all had views that mid to late twenties was way too old to start having kids!

I'm pregnant with dc3 at 27 now and I still feel too young!

OutyMcOutface- 14 + 14. Or even 13 + 15

fia i could have written your post! I had mine at 20, 21, 25 and 28.

Not helped by fact i only look about 21 now. I assume this as in the past year people have stopped asking me for ID. Although a man who came to my door recently asked if my mum was in

You would be an older mum in the are that I live.
Move 5 miles away and you would be a younger mum in that community.
I think there are a couple of days of looking at it.
Either demographically or biologically

I think at one point in recent years an old mum was 35+. A couple if decades ago it woukd gave been 25!
Goalposts keep moving!

I was 25. The baby of the group. I hope you feel more included then I ever did at antenatal class.

How could a 28 year old be a grandmother
When dd started secondary school her bf grandmother was under 40. She is younger than me.

It's not right to judge mothers based on their age at all. The fact they are pregnant at 17 and 18 does not explain them being immature and rude, commenting that is just as bad as negativity towards older mothers.

I had a tough time going to baby group when I was 19 in a fairly middle-class town. Despite trying my best to be very chatty, smiley ect it was just absolutely clear that some mums just were not interested in talking to me down to the fact they obviously perceived me as not worth their time. It was upsetting. I ended up making one good friend who happened to be 39 with a baby the same age, when you stop judging great things can happen!

Why do you care so much about what two girls at your antenatal class said?

Ignore them, they sound uninformed and immature.

OP how old were these girls? That’s pathetic and downright rude tbh.
28 is young. I was 23 when I had my first which is VERY young! I’m now 33 with 3 children and in my village I am one of the younger mums! A lot of mums I know only had their first mid 30s-40s!
Don’t let it bother you at all. Enjoy your pregnancy and your baby. Exciting times ahead

It’s none of their business. I am 40 and pregnant with my first. It took me many years to finally be able to become pregnant.
You are in your 20s, you are still young!
Were those girls teenagers?

I was always told in maternity terms Primigravida is 35 years. I was 32 having my first and would be 'middle of the road' in the age range of the parents of DC's classmates. They varied from late 20''s to mid 40''s reception year.

I had first at 31 and will have second when I'm 35 so no worries there.

If you see them again, and they are young, just ask them does high school not teach section 7 anymore or is it a practical exercise now too.

That's what I said as four of our classmates where pregnant at 15.

I think this all depends on where you live. In the village/area where I lived until around 3 months ago I was an old Mum, I quite easily could have been my daughters grandma's at 32. We moved and now I'm pretty much average. Moved to an area with better schools, a nicer feel but more expensive houses.

I've just read back my post and I am cringing at typos!
I know I shouldn't post from my phone.
Basically in some circumstances you could be seen as an older mum and at other times you could be a young mum! It depends and doesn't matter anyway!

Thanks again everyone, I don’t know why they picked on me everyone else was my age+, I felt like I was back at school for a minute. I also just wanted to say this thread was by no means meant to offend young mums most of my friends are around 22/23 and some of them have children and are amazing parents obviously these 2 girls just had no manners.