Posifrickentive into 2018 - thread 20 for those pregnant after mc

[MsJuniper]

New thread - bringing lots of happiness, support and understanding through Christmas and into the new year!

Fox That's amazing! Yay a bit of Christmas hope for you. I have heard the odds go way up for a successful pregnancy once you've seen a heartbeat.

WLM so close now - exciting!

The Miscarriage Association statistics are super encouraging:

Research amongst women with a history of recurrent miscarriage has shown that those who saw a heartbeat at 6 weeks of pregnancy had a 78% chance of the pregnancy continuing. It also showed that seeing a heartbeat at 8 weeks increased the chance of a continuing pregnancy to 98% and at 10 weeks that went up to 99.4%.

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/information/worried-about-pregnancy-loss/ultrasound-scans/

I've been reading that paragraph quite a lot recently! (While every time then worrying that I'm jinxing myself by getting my hopes up...)

I like this one too although it does have the potential to spark more anxiety! datayze.com/miscarriage-chart.php

I find comfort in statistics.

Not to be a debbie downer but figures reassure me anymore
I saw a heart beat last time at 6+3 and 8+5 and still had a mmc at 12+5 baby died at 9+5 :( xx

I know it's hard to see the figures when you've been on the wrong side of them. I feel the same sometimes when people who have had one or two miscarriages are assured of how unlikely it is they'll have a third. But there's a reason that's a reassuring thing - because 98-99% of people don't have three losses in a row, so the fact that number isn't 0 - and that I was in that 1-2% - doesn't mean the figures are meaningless, or that people can't be reassured by them.

Can I join!?
Just found this thread
Miscarriage in may, not sure how far I was but had contractions and it was pretty horrific tbh

Anyway I'm now 16 weeks and 5 days
We had a scan when I was exactly 16 weeks and found out it's a little girl
We already have a 2 year old little boy
So I feel completely overwhelmed and the anxiety is through the roof
I keep thinking I can't be this lucky with two healthy children!
I felt tiny flutters at about 15 weeks but cant seem to feel them anymore
Jeez I'm just so terrified and in a constant state of worry
I'm so scared something will happen
The 20 week scan is on the 19th Jan and I am counting down the days... hours ..

I have a midwife appointment tomorrow, really hoping she can reassure me as she's so lovely
Do they listen for the heartbeat at 16 weeks? I can't even remember what they did last time I was preg?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I'm another one who miscarried when the risk was supposed to be less than 2%. But yes the odds of that happening twice are very small. 🤞🏼

Fox that’s amazing news, many congratulations! Your DH will get there in his own time.

I’m another whose been on the wrong side of those stats more than once, and I find them upsetting (even with my rational academic’s head on).

foxtrot, I'm so pleased for you! My Dh really didn't want to get his hopes up at first. He's only really just started to believe it's happening and I'm almost 20 weeks!

zaalitje I understand your worry. I'm sure there's been no issue. Try to focus on no news is good news of you can? easier said than done I know

Glad you had a good scan brogueish. No problem regarding PANDAS. I marginally helped to set up our local group who mostly operate on fb. I guess I'm a peer supporter on there in a way. I hope just knowing they're a back up helps. And yup I think it can - it can affect your eyesight a little I believe!

Grumpy that brand never really got hugely dark for me, or if they did it was much later. Try not to worry. I've added mine at 5 weeks if it's at all helpful? I started getting stressed after lines stopped getting darker and had to step away from poas.

How exciting @WLMcI! I look forward to hearing your lovely news!

Welcome @user1499786242! I felt movement at 12 weeks then went through several weeks where I simply couldn't feel it. Then magically over the last week (19) it's become really regular. But I know some women even find it irregular at this point.

I did find statistics reassuring to a point. I haven't had a mmc though. For me it was lack of bleeding/ spotting that was most reassuring.

I'm really sorry that people found the statistics upsetting - I won't post anything like that again. As I said, I thought they'd be reassuring for a few of us who are in very anxious places at the moment and didn't mean to upset anyone with them

Oops, forgot to say we had our 20 week scan today and was was great!

Please don't worry lisa. I really think they are for most people. It's extremely sad that some women do experience losses much later and I know nothing would ever reassure me if I had experienced such a thing. I did look at those statistics and my consultant actually quoted them to me. Everyone is very different.

I think people are just different - I like the stats stuff even when I've been on the "wrong" side of them because it helps me see that it's really just random chance and it's not within my control, it's not because it's reassurance that it won't happen IYSWIM - it just helps me quantify things. I think it's like some people get comfort from the idea of God and yet some don't - it's such a personal thing and wouldn't do if we were all the same anyway.

And yes lack of spotting is helping me for now although I do know that a small amount can be normal. I am definitely on knicker watch every time I go to the loo.

Great news about the scan ekphrasis!

I agree with Bertie I do find it reassuring to look at the statistics even though it happened to me. Can totally understand why it might be difficult for others though (for me I was like -- my luck was HOW bad?!) And don't worry lisa , I didn't find your post upsetting we we all trying to muddle along and do what we need to do to stop going crazy with worry.

I left work early today as felt shivery and awful. My boss definitely suspects but I just couldn't deal with the anxiety of feeling ill at work. I'm hoping it's just a bad cold and not flu!

I'll be 5 weeks on sat..

Thanks lisa! we tell our son tomorrow, I can't wait!

I think just like with mc, there's no right or wrong way to deal with pregnancy post mc. We all have to find what helps (as long as it's not also increasing anxiety if that makes sense.)

Had some interesting discussions regarding aspirin today. My sonographer said she'd researched aspirin and as a person (not a professional) she recommended it for geriatrics like myself. I saw a dr also who said the hospital had recently changed its approach. My son was IUGR and we were told then to take aspirin just after bfp. However now they're not sure if it has an impact on weight or not. (I think they're doing a study into other things actually).

It definitely does for preeclampsia. The dr said to take it, it's not going to do any harm and best done now as upto 24 weeks the placental veins etc are forming. Previously I've seen it needs to be before 14 weeks for iugr. Some hospitals are still just recommending women take it.

It's also best taken at night for some reason. The consultant I saw at 12 weeks mentioned that 150 was a better dose (I think he meant for preeclampsia) but everyone seemed happy for me to carry on taking it. (I've forgotten some nights though!)

I queried why pharmacists get so edgy (its apparently a no no in pregnancy in the packet!) without prescription. They said they knew about that but it was much much easier and cheaper for the Nhs for us buy off the shelf.

Anyway, just in case anyone is in a similar situation!

Lisa i didn't find it upsetting either 💖 don't worry xx

I'm just being negative aren't i! I'm just so so scared i will get to my scan tomorrow and be told "No, Sorry there is no heartbeat" again. I'm a bit of a mess, I'm so down and upset all the time and absolutley petrified. I know techincally the odds are in my favour and i should just be greatful I already have a dd and that I'm pregnant again but i really can't help feeling so anxious. The only thing getting me through the moment is my terrible sickness and the fact my boobs are starting to get really sore. Sorry to whinge.. i should read the name of the thread shouldn't i 🙈

Ah blue it's very understandable. I was a total grump before my first scan (a nipt test) and almost rude to the sonographer as a result . I didn't want to be there to be told bad news. I'm sure all will be well, especially as you're feeling sicker! All the best, will be thinking of you!

Don’t worry, Lisa - as others have said we all find comfort in different things

Ekphrasis that’s really interesting about taking aspirin at night, no one mentioned that to me! I wonder why that is? I had IUGR with DS, and have been taking 75mg in the mornings (will switch to evenings!).

life three of them have said that now (dr, consultant and sonographer) - no idea why. I should have asked! There was a study looking at morning, noon and night aspirin- it got more effective as the day went on!

But I am not sure if that's for iugr or preeclampsia (or both) as then they've all said they're not 100% sure now if it does help. But better to take it to be on the safe side. I just don't think it's their policy for iugr now. (It's a pretty cutting edge hospital.) I think it's weighing it against potential bleeding risk to the mother. I take the gastric ones with food in the eve (when I remember. Shows how relaxed I currently am!)

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/23004922/

Link about timing .

fox many women start around 12 weeks on the advice of constants. I hadn't heard that before and it wasn't mentioned to me. I just found an older study, a meta analysis, that refuted lowering iq abd also found one study where iqs at age 4 were higher. That was 1997 though I think.

To be fair fox I think it's only a nice guideline for preeclampsia and iugr, so you could stop then I suppose.

I believe the sonographer only mentioned it to me as I'm 40 and had a baby with iugr.

The aspirin talk is interesting. I'm not taking it, but at my booking in appt, the midwife had a chart and if two or more risk factors applied I'd have been put on it automatically. Amazingly I only had one (age) but I was surprised it would have been advised if eg my BMI was higher, or I was having twins, etc. as well.