Posifrickentive into 2018 - thread 20 for those pregnant after mc

[MsJuniper]

New thread - bringing lots of happiness, support and understanding through Christmas and into the new year!

Hi all, mind if I join!

5+2 weeks pregnant, following 4 previous losses in a row (one being discovered at 20w scan). I seem to go from feeling upbeat and excited to being absolutely terrified!

Great scan @Flatwhite32!

I've had a cold pretty much since mid December and haven't had the flu jab as I thought I shouldn't have it while ill but now I wish I had had it earlier.

Hmm wonder if they’ll offer me the flu jab 🤔

@Fia256 oh you poor thing! I hope things work out for you this time round x

Welcome to all the newcomers and delighted to hear all the great scan news!

Mystery solved on my dr referral; apparently because I had complications during birth with DS it’s an automatic thing. Thankfully nothing to do with any issues found in this pregnancy.
Slightly annoyingly I rang to get my midwife appt moved as i’ll be on holidays when it was scheduled. However they refused to see me before 16 weeks and just cancelled instead of moving it, so my first appointment won’t be until I’m 28 weeks I guess. From what I can remember nothing much happens during these midwife appt anyway but can anyone advise if it’s an issue not seeing anyone until that late?

Oh, should have said that I did have my booking in appt about 8 weeks ago.

@BertieBotts not to worry you but they did a smear knowing you are now pregnant?? They don't do smears while pregnant in the uk. Not sure of the reason

Yeah. It makes me nervous too. But they did it the first time too and it seems routine. I suppose different standards. All testing here.

I mean, it could be something like for the NHS it's not cost effective because nobody seeks treatment when they are pregnant, and in Germany because health insurance covers stuff it's a sneaky way for clinics to make more money or something. I have decided I don't want to know about any risks so please don't tell me! In a couple of weeks then I don't mind knowing.

As you say, if standard in Germany I'm sure it's fine 🤷🏻‍♀️ I expect medical care is better over there than in the uk.

@BertieBotts My bestie had to have one too (abnormal results from a previous smear - all was fine in the end though!) and both the GP and her midwife reassured her that it's perfectly safe and routinely done in lots of different countries (including most of the US apparently). The reason they give for it not being done here is that pregnancy can sometimes make the results harder to interpret (although I suspect your comment about it not being cost-effective is a big part of it!). Anyway, no risk whatsoever to baby. (Hers is now a bouncing 6-month old!)

Oh that's good to know too :) Thanks! I suppose realistically a tiny swab on the cervix is nothing compared to how thick and protected it will be. TMI but it probably gets more irritation during sex??

I didn't buy anything pregnancy at all until after the 14 week scan (actually I think I bought Expecting Better before then) . Then I allowed myself to buy maternity clothes. Nothing for the baby before the 20 week scan, and even then we didn't actually buy anything until after Christmas, when had scan end Nov (and tbh if it hadn't have been for a great deal on pram/car seat & second hand next-to-me crib I'd still not have bought anything!) Now 27 weeks and have bought just that and about £100 worth of pregnancy pillows in an attempt to sleep comfortably! Have been given some baby gifts & second hand stuff but haven't really properly looked at them yet.

Fainted at work the other day-that was fun. GP said nothing to worry about, and I spent the rest of the day in bed, but was pretty damn scary! BP at midwife appt was 90/60 so not terribly low, but presume was combination of that and just not feeling 100%. Hoping it doesn't happen again.

I bought a bra because my boobs were so sore unsupported but this time I've just been wearing my normal bras.

I want to buy a pregnancy book because DH packed mine! I really want Bump by Kate Evans. I've got the one by Kaz Cooke (diff titles in diff editions) which I had with DS so I bought the updated one last year.

Sorry about the fainting, hotcookie - glad they think it's nothing serious, but it does sound scary. I thought I was going to faint on the train home on Monday - I'd deliberately left work late enough that I knew I'd get a seat but there was a problem with the line so trains very delayed and then packed so had to stand. Was boiling and the motion made me feel sick - ended up sat on the train floor dry heaving into a carrier bag!

I finally, at 12+4, let myself buy a couple of new bras, which I think I've needed since 6 weeks - I had kept not doing it because it felt like tempting fate, but I now feel like an idiot. Turns out I've gone up a whole cup size, and bigger, non-wired bras are so much comfier than what I was wearing!

@FoxtrotSkarloey I'm 38 weeks and still in my normal bras! Last time (when I miscarried) I went up two cup sizes immediately. This time, nothing. So don't read too much into it. 

@BertieBotts Haha I was thinking the same thing! Definitely more irritation during sex.

foxtrot I don't think it means anything. We all tend to ignore the symptoms we do have and to obsess about the ones we don't - so I never think about things like my swollen breasts or my fatigue when I'm worrying and obsessing over not feeling sick enough. But almost no one gets all the symptoms - most people get a few, some get none, and it doesn't mean anything much.

Still lacking confidence that I will actually give birth to a real live baby (loss at 22 weeks), I am 29 weeks today. Somebody said congratulations this morning (because I hadn't made it widely known - they had just found out) and I sort of smiled and grunted because I still don't feel particularly positive (and now have a wide range of minor ailments so feeling grump anyway). Just ordered a couple of items of baby clothing in a sale...now have visions of having to chuck them away (like I did the last time) though some went to charity depending on how angry I was feeling on that day.

Ugh, every time I go to the hospital I see a different consultant/mw and they never read my notes so I keep having the same conversation over and over.

Today it was:
C: so this is your second pregnancy
Me: no this is my eighth pregnancy, I have one child from my first pregnancy
2 mins later
C: so your last pregnancy was a c section?
Me: no, my last pregnancy was a miscarriage, my son was born by c section
2 mins later
C: so did you have diabetes in your last pregnancy
Me: I had it in my first pregnancy, with my son...

I know they are busy but take the hint!

I'm really sorry you have to keep going through that, msjuniper - so frustrating and upsetting.

I haven't figured out the answer to 'is this your first pregnancy?' yet. Obviously some medical professionals, like my midwife, need to know, but in hindsight the doctor I saw about constipation last week probably didn't, and it just led to an awkward conversation. If guess if we get to the point of telling people/of visible pregnancy I'll just say yes, because I definitely don't want to tell women asking on the bus or whatever, but it does feel weird.

Thanks Lisa. I've just realised something really annoying too - the reason I was scheduled to see the consultant today rather than the same day as my scan was because the GD consultant only works on Wednesdays - and I didn't even see him! So I have had to miss yet another morning of work at a really pressured time.

I am not really happy about my care but it's scary to do something about it while I am still in their hands. I guess I can give feedback afterwards but it doesn't fill me with confidence for the next 10 weeks. The only reason I stayed with this hospital is because I was being seen in the RMC prior to getting pregnant but there's been no benefit or continuity of care so it's just a lot of long journeys and stress.

Sorry for the long whinge but I am feeling really annoyed and worried about it all.

Not as bad as what I’d get when I’d go to the GP....”how’s the little one doing”? He passed away...THEN they’d look at the records and say “oh”

@Expecto that's horrific.

Hi MsJuniper.
I'm sorry to say that, it's a horrible, distressing experience. I had short tolerance for seeing different consultants and lack of preparation with my notes etc (I had a loss at 22 weeks). I wrote an extremely snotty e-mail and have been assigned just one consultant now (unless she is on holiday). I made it clear what my expectations were in this e-mail and requested what in effect was a care plan. This arose because I felt that the consultant who handled my case when I had my late loss was partially negligent - I am yet to have a follow up consultation with him; whilst the outcome of my care wouldn't have changed (I would still have had the loss, I believe) , things clearly went wrong and were left. Nope, not this time; it was like I was taking all of my anger and frustration out on the first consultant when I went under consultant care and I fully expect there is a warning about my temperamental nature somewhere on their files!

Expecto...sorry to hear about your experience too x