Posifrickentive into 2018 - thread 20 for those pregnant after mc

[MsJuniper]

New thread - bringing lots of happiness, support and understanding through Christmas and into the new year!

@Namechangedtoscream I'm not going to say don't worry as I know that means nothing given your history. Most of my symptoms have gone too. Boobs aren't that sore, not getting up to go to the toilet at night anymore. Barely a whiff of nausea.

Is there any chance of moving your scan forward a couple of days?

Does asking for help with anxiety trigger SS looking? It's not been my experience in previous pregnancies. I have had SS involvement, BTW, when DS was around 2 and I was really struggling but that was another level and it really had to get quite bad before they were drawn in and they were v keen to get out of my hair again quickly, which was a relief as I was so worried being a young mum, single parent, depression/anxiety, low income and struggling to keep on top of housework and other things.

Conversely I had lots of chats with the midwife when I was pregnant with DS and after I'd had him with the HV because I was in a DV relationship (mostly emotional abuse) and looking for support with that and SS never got anywhere near me at that time. Even after two A&E visits in a short period of time! (Hot water accident + car accident).

Brilliant news @kirinm! I hope the rest goes smoothly for you.

I am currently 4 +4. Not really any symptoms other than tiredness. I've booked an appointment with gp for Monday hoping against hope that they will offer me an early scan. I just can't face booking in with the midwife before I've seen some progression. It was heartbreaking having the notes lying around at home knowing that my little bean had already gone.
I will definitely have a private scan around 8 weeks if the gp refuses.

No way to bring it forward. My consultant is doing the scan and she only does these clinics on a Friday.

@zaalitje I really doubt requesting counselling would cause Social Services to be involved in any way - I have diagnosed PTSD and anxiety and Social Services have never come anywhere near me. I think they've got too much to do!

I really didn't feel pregnant at all between 19 to maybe 30 weeks. In fact at times I even forgot.

I can say both personally and professionally seeking help for anxiety won't trigger anything but more help

So I've just had a McDonald's in the hope it makes me sick that's bad isn't it

I should be about 5+5 today. Got twitchy and did a digital. Still showing 2-3. Crap.

That's all good Namechanged - I c+p a text earlier which explains the levels in more detail - they are massively unreliable. If it was showing 1-2 you would have cause to worry!

Grr I am having the tiniest amount of spotting now. I am sure it's because my doctor insisted on doing a smear because it has been "more than 6 months" since the last one. It was in July! So not more because we haven't even finished January yet. I am sure it is nothing to worry about but I don't like her disturbing the cervix.

I know it's impossible not to worry, and I also took a lot of the Clearblue ones because none of my failed pregnancies progressed on them - but they are so inaccurate. They're really not designed to assess the health of a pregnancy, and they're so prone to error. Did you just do that? If so, it can't have been first morning urine? Earlier in this pregnancy I got a 2-3, and then a 3+ with more concentrated urine about 2 hours later.

Great news about the scan, Bertie. As you say, some spotting after your cervix has been touched is super normal - I also think I've previously had a little bleeding after a smear even when not pregnant.

Expecto could I recommend The positive birth book by Milli Hill? It has lots of discussions about the different options available to you & stories of all the different birth options too. It mentions independent midwives which sound like a possible option for you? Just to say doulas are really just for support-as far as I am aware they have no medical training.

Sorry I've been absent for ages, I'm dipping in occasionally.

Huge congratulations to@WLMcI ! So glad your little one arrived safely!

I wanted to agree with peach, @zaalitje SS would absolutely have no interest in you at all if you contacted you mw or gp and asked for help with anxiety or saw the perinatal team. I know women with extremely severe mh difficulties and SS haven't come near them, just lots of psych support etc. A friend's Dh had a breakdown and was sectioned, then diagnosed with bi polar and Ss were not in anyway informed. The only extra thing that happened is that a gp picked up on my friends' distress and organised counselling for her. I had severe anxiety with my son and saw a psych as well as the perinatal team. The only thing that might have happened was a little more offered hv support, but I quickly realised I didn't need/ want that. My friend with bi polar has only ever had a little more ongoing support for the hv but anyone can call on them at any time and she wants this. (For example, another friend had them round a lot for eating issues with her second.)

From a teaching perspective, it's unbelievably difficult to get SS interested in getting involved in any family without a prior history.

It's a personal choice to seek some support and sometimes people prefer to get through it alone (I have before.) it please be reassured it means absolutely nothing other than help for yourself

Hi ladies, just checking in and hope everyones well.
18 +5 today and had a consultant appointment, midwife listened in to baby and heard heartbeat, im feeling movements as well. But im very reluctant to get attached to this little one, im terrified and know everything could go terribly wrong at my 20week scan on the 17th jan, just like it did in my last pregnancy consultant told me the odds of having anything wrong at 20w scan are very low, but odds mean nothing to me because ive been on the recieving end of the bad news before..all i keep being told is to not worry and stay calm, which is easier said than done but im trying so hard to.x

@hotcookie thanks I will have a look into it although I know it sounds stupid but does anyone not buy anything pregnancy or birth related just incase you jinx the pregnancy?

@xxmissbrightsidexx I have a friend who has been through a similar experience 2016. She gave birth to a healthy boy on Christmas Day. Fingers crossed for you.

Hi everyone!

Newbie here! I had a MMC at the 12 week scan back in August, and our whole world came crashing down. Much to my surprise after irregular bleeding and spotting, I got pregnant again on cycle 3 after my ERPC. I had a bleed at 6 weeks so had a scan at the EPU which was inconclusive. I then had to wait for 12 days for a repeat scan where they thankfully found a heartbeat. Anyway, I had my 12 week scan today and was vomiting with anxiety. Thankfully it went well. Of course I'll go back to worrying tomorrow, but we have overcome a big hurdle today.

Flatwhite I think I remember you from before? I also had an MMC in August... having 12w scan on Sunday.
Many congratulations on your pregnancy, and a great scan today.

Waves at everyone else!

Welcome @Flatwhite32, and what a lovely and clear scan picture! It must have been so hard for you having to wait for such a long time after an inconclusive scan. Fx that things go smoothly for you from here on.

Also welcome to other newcomers, I'm on my phone so it's a bit difficult writing individually. But this is a very nice and supportive board!

@Expecto On the jinxing: I am not afraid that buying anything will have an impact on my pregnancy, but I am very conscious about the fact that a lot of stuff for the baby laying around in the house will only make things worse if something happens. I don't know how long I will feel like this, but for now it feels better not buying anything.

I had the harmony test done this afternoon, and a scan as a part of it. It was so amazing to see the development! We have had weekly scans since week 7 due to ivf (and my anxiety) but today it actually looked like a baby! I'm 10+6, so we are getting close to 12 weeks. Now I will of course feel massively anxious while waiting for the result, but I hope things may settle a bit after that if all is ok.

A question to you all: have anyone experienced a stomach bug while pregnant, and did It take longer than usual to recover? I was really sick Friday/Saturday, and am a lot better now, but still just feel like all food is slightly off-putting in a way different from the pregnancy nausea. Hope it passes soon...

That's brilliant Flatwhite and what a lovely scan pic!

Handhold MissBrightside

Great news on all the positive scan results today! I hope the reassurance lasts for as long as possible for you all.

Zaa, my friend saw a perinatal psychologist for pregnancy and birth anxiety. Absolutely no mention of social services at any point and she found it very helpful.

Less than 48 hours to wait until my scan now. I feel like I have absolutely no idea if anything is going on in there. Roll on Thursday morning.

@flatwhite that’s fantastic news. Fingers crossed all goes well x

@notparticularlypatient...It’s great that you’re being monitored so closely. Fingers crossed for you too. And I had a cold that lasted waaaay too long...immune systems don’t function as well whilst pregnant! Wonder if we can still get the flu jab 🤔

@Bertie have things settled now? x

Flu jab is apparently not recommended until 2nd trimester - I read that somewhere.

I am not worried about jinxing because I don't believe in things like that. Am not buying anything until later but that is what I would do anyway.

I don't think that's current advice, Bertie (I hope it isn't, because my GP surgery gave it to me when I was 9 weeks!). Just googled and NHS says 'Studies have shown that it's safe to have the flu vaccine during any stage of pregnancy, from the first few weeks up to your expected due date.'. I wouldn't recommend googling it, though, as I also found lots of scaremongering stiff which I'm choosing to ignore as anti-vac madness.

Yes thank you, it was only a couple of spots in the end. Not sure if it's the baby being very good or my body but I'm glad of it!

Oh sorry - I must have been wrong about that then!