Posifrickentive into 2018 - thread 20 for those pregnant after mc

[MsJuniper]

New thread - bringing lots of happiness, support and understanding through Christmas and into the new year!

This is my last day being pregnant, as the c-section is tomorrow morning! I really can't believe it; I finally get to meet my baby! I wanted to come on the thread to thank all of you, especially those I also know from the TTC after mc thread, for all your support, sympathy, encouragement, and general loveliness. You're a wonderful group of ladies and it has been so helpful for me to have you to chat to. Lots of best wishes and blessings for the new year to you all! I'll be back post-baby with an update X

Best of luck today WLM! 🎉🎂💐

Hello to you all.

Just tentatively checking into this thread.

I'm 9 weeks pregnant following a MMC at the dating scan in summer 2016- over 18 months ago, took over a year to get another BFP.

I'm 39 and my LO will be almost 4 and a half if/when all this works out.

Feels a bit like my last chance to have another baby (if this one arrives early I'll be sneaking the birth in before my 40th!) so the stakes feel very high and I am having waves of feeling v anxious.

A couple of months ago we got seen in the sub-fertility clinic and were basically told to self refer for private IVF (not possible unless we take out a massive loan). So this all feels quite unreal.

I had a scan a week ago and all looks ok- felt quite strange as I've never had a scan this early before.

I was physically shaking going into the scan room and during it, had to explain to the sonographer what happened before.

Felt physically sick as it reminded me of the last scan I'd had, almost 13 weeks and no heartbeat or movement or anything.

It reassured me for about 5 minutes and now I'm just wondering if it's all gone wrong again and my body is just playing one big cruel joke on me.

We've got the Harmony coming up at 10 weeks so there'll be another scan and we'll know if things are progressing or not. I'm now dreading something major coming up on that investigation.

Doesn't feel real at all, part of me is in denial, almost like I don't want to get "taken for a ride" like I did last year.
But, still, I know that it'll just hurt as much as it did last time if things go wrong.

Just trying to keep positive, reading through this thread has helped quite a bit.

I'm trying to shake this underlying feeling of bitterness at not being able to just enjoy things and I know I should just be bloody grateful to have got another BFP when I really thought it wasn't going to happen.

Right now just focusing on taking big breaths and carrying on.

@smurf how many weeks are you? I remember some of those sensations in my third trimester - I felt full very quickly and my bump could go very hard or tight at times. I hope you’re ok and hopefully have a quiet day today?

WMLcl have a wondeful last day and very best wishes for tomorrow! Look forward to seeing your update.

Welcome Turquisedress - I’m the same age as you and DS is 4 too. So sorry for your past MMC. Wonderful that you have become pregnant before needing ivf! I hope all goes really well at your harmony test and your baby is doing really well.

Welcome turquoisedress it’s normal to worry so much and it’s such a shame to not be able to enjoy it and get excited. I know how you feel with being reassured for a brief time by the scan, and the going back to worrying all the time.

I had my early scan today and there was a fetal pole and heartbeat, which was great. But then they said it was very small, only 2mm and that is only 5 weeks and I am at least 7 weeks. The sonographer wasn’t worried, she said it’s difficult to see properly when it’s so early. Do you think that’s normal for an abdominal scan? Trying to avoid googling it!

Just catching up with this thread - I'm sorry for those who had very anxious Christmasses. Would second the recommendation to seek out counselling by any means possible - I'm having fortnightly sessions through work and while it's definitely not a miracle cure I think it is helping with my anxiety. I felt dreadful though, because I completely forgot to go to my last one before Christmas and she rung me all worried - nice to have someone checking in on me, but I felt so guilty!

Booking-in appointment tomorrow. At the moment I feel like a bit of a fraud because for about a week (I'm 10+5) my already mild symptoms have been fading and so I don't feel at all pregnant - it feels like a delusion I've made up in my head, and so going to see a midwife feels like I'm running some kind of scam! Am hoping they'll be able to get me booked in soon for a 12 week scan, though.

WLM sorry I mean tomorrow! I read your post wrong in my haste to reply!

Hetty, sorry I don't know - but fetal pole and heartbeat sounds good? When I was showing "early for dates" with last MC it was both - baby was too small plus less developed than thought and they could only see a sac. So having the pole and heartbeat is a good sign I think? Fingers crossed anyway.

Gentle hugs, Turquoise, I hope things get easier for you when you pass the point you got to last time

hetty it would have been tricky with an abdo scan - much clearer with a trans vaginal. Did they offer another scan? If the sonograpber wasn’t worried then I think that’s great, esp seeing a heartbeat.

Glad you're happier smurf. I've also noticed if my tummy is bad (and everything quite inflamed and sensitive) I don't feel movement as much.

How exciting WLM! best of luck and can't wait to hear about baby!

Welcome turquoise! Congratulations! I had similar feelings about scans, very anxious. Scanxiety! I think getting through the harmony test was another hurdle too. All you describe sounds very familiar - keep talking as it does help. I only started to allow myself to 'enjoy' things after the 12 weeks scan, and not really that much till 14/15 weeks. (More recently pelvic pain and bump pain has made it less enjoyable!)

One day at a time and remember that all these feelings are quite normal after what you've been through.

Meant to add turquoise, I will be 41 when I have baby abd ds will be 5.5. He's so delighted about a baby sibling - it's quite lovely to have the larger age gap actually. Bump gets kissed several times a day.

I showed him a second hand Scandinavian baby grow I'd got and he surmised I'd have to eat it to put it on baby. ❤️ @MsJuniper has a similar gap too. Hope all's well MrsJuniper?

@WLMcI I'm almost 28 weeks do just about the 3rd trimester! It was a bit out of the blue which probably surprised me. I've had movements today too when out and about.. Husbands family wanted to go exchange Christmas gifts.. And a few kicks that made me jump so i think all is grand.
Wow can't believe today is your last day pregnant! I hope tomorrow comes quickly and goes well for you! I'm sure you are looking forward to holding your baby in your arms!

Glad you are feeling better now Smurf. Mine seems to have a rest day every few days where it isn't quite as active as normal. It always freaks me out slightly. Then the next day my tummy is back to lifting itself up and bodyslamming the bed and all is well with the world again.

How exciting, best of luck tomorrow WMcL. I can't wait to hear your news when it is all over.

Welcome Turquoise. I will be 40 when I am 37+2, so it is a race here to see which one comes first. This is the first of mine to make it this far though.

I think there is a lot of variability that early Hetty. I would say that a heartbeat is an excellent sign and that I would try and hang on to that bit. Jsut keep repeating "today I am pregnant".

hetty I'm surprised it wasn't a vaginal scan; I think it's less accurate with an abdominal. Hb and foetal pole is great. Are you going to get another scan?

Hi everyone, checking in again after quite a while. I've been reading all the posts regularly though - thrilled for newcomers and those who have had (or are having - how exciting WLM!) their little ones.

It's been a very up and down road for me. Little girl is mostly moving around lots which is reassuring, but I've had a spate of infections that have got me very down and worried. Both UTI and BV diagnosed last week so I've been on two sets of antibiotics and have, I think, come down with the most disgusting case of thrush as a result. I've never seen anything like it - talk about cottage cheese everywhere! (sorry if TMI!) DH who has had the dubious honour of applying the gel for the BV has been laughing it off but it's making me feel very unsexy and the specks of blood that are coming with it are making me nervous for baby.

Still, nearly 27 weeks so I'm inching towards third trimester. I've never been one to wish away time before but I just want March to be over already and to have my little girl safely in my arms.

Sorry to hear you've been poorly ineed. I had a bit of a do earlier this year (before pregnancy) with a slight bv infection (from ttc ) Wise women of mn pointed me towards an amazingly simple off the shelf and on amazon prime product that really really works. I have also found it extremely good at fending off the beginnings of thrush. I had a terrible uti three weeks ago and started to get thrush when I started the antibiotics but managed to keep it at bay bar one use of mild canesten. When things are more settled you could use it to help keep the balance down there. It's fine to use through pregnancy and the mner who suggested it had done so as had had the same issue. Avoid using soap down there too. I do use it after I've washed there before giving a urine sample. It's Multi-gyn actigel for bv. Apparently if it tingles there's a balance issue and after a while it doesn't tingle which means things are more balanced.

Poor you INeed that sounds utterly miserable. Pregnancy is not for those who want to keep their dignity, is it? I hope everything clears up soon and you get to relax a bit.

Yeah, I thought it was strange not to have TVUS. I moved house into a different nhs trust, my previous epau did them, so I was expecting to have one. They did ask if I wanted another scan or if I wanted to wait, I decided to wait. Nothing I can do, and it’s not a blighted ovum which is what happened previously.

ineed I had thrush almost continuously in second trimester last time, it’s so miserable. Keep going to the dr, in the end I did get it cleared up but I tried so many things.

@Ekphrasis
Thank you for the reassuring words!

Yes indeed, I have scanxiety! I really do find it terrifying...the not knowing whether it's all going to be over or not.

In my first pregnancy, it never crossed my (totally naive) mind that we'd have a bad scan! My awful dating scan last year felt like a total punch in the face and I'll never feel relaxed going into any fetal scan again.

Ah that's a similar age gap and nice to hear from someone who's a similar age to me.

Wishing you well

@Brenna24
Wishing you well too

Ooh so you may have the baby when you're still 39, but what a 40th birthday present that would be!

I've booked a trip abroad for my 40th next year but, if all goes well, I'll have a newborn baby.

I've not told anyone or cancelled anything, just in case- don't want to miss out on the trip esp if this doesn't all work out.

I'm prepared to lose deposit etc but can't bear to change plans until things become a bit more certain (as you can be!).

@Lifeofpies
Thank you for the welcome & kind words. It's nice to hear from others the same age and with similar age gap.

So many people around me in RL have a 3 yr or less age gap.
If my last pregnancy had worked out it would've been just under 3 years.

But I try not to dwell on what could/should have been. I've learnt so much since the MMC 18 months ago & this past year TTC.

One big thing that sticks out is that you just don't know the journey that others have been in, and I'm much more aware & sensitive to that than I ever was before.

Wishing you well

@BertieBotts
Thank you
My previous pregnancy was lost between 7-8 weeks and the scan I had was right in the middle of that...sort of reassured but not really!

I'll feel better once Harmony test is out of the way (dusting the credit card off for that one!) and when we've had the dating scan.

Not sure how I'm going to be able to walk into the room for that one- it will be at the same hospital. But once it's done (and fingers crossed all good) it'll be like a mental block out of the way.

Hope everyone else is doing ok waves hello to turquoise

I've just got my dating scan date and it's not until I'm 14 weeks (I'm 11 tomorrow). Is this ok? I'm a bit sad that I'll have to wait anxiously for even longer but fine, but are they going to be able to do the nuchal test? I don't think I can cope with more things to be uncertain about!

I am a total idiot and miscounted - it'll be at 13 weeks exactly, which I know is fine!

Goodluck Lisa!!! Xx I have mine in 6days when I'll be 11+2 so nervous!!! I'm 10+3 today.
I'm having to go to the doctor this afternoon as i was in a car accident on Christmas eve and I've hurt my hip and coccyx area. I am also going to ask to be signed off, my sickness is terrible!