Staying posifrickentive- Thread 19 for ladies pg after mc

[Brenna24]

Ready. Steady. Go

Congratulations haz, thrilled for you and little Matilda!
grey and blue, the first few weeks are so tough. Just keep thinking this too will pass, and the odds are very much in your favour. I'm still going nuts worrying something will have gone wrong since my 12 week scan- still checking for blood, squeezing boobs etc!

Haz huge congratulations to you! Matilda is such a lovely name. I hope you're all doing well

Hello! I fell off the thread and lost you in my “I’m on list!” I tried writing a few posts catching up and never completed.

Huge congratulations to you @Hazandduck! Gorgeous name, I hope all is going well.

Rum I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. I was so shocked to read this, I hope you are ok and taking time to grieve. Thinking of you lots.

Welcome to several new people! The first few weeks were extremely hard indeed. I was full of doom and convinced there was no baby. I still get weeks now where I feel wobbly, especially as symptoms are all gone. Now in the no mans lands of 15 weeks where you don’t really feel movement or look pregnant or feel sick.

I’ve been very busy at work and exhausted, thyroid not as good as it should be so taking more thyroxine but I don’t think it’ll kick in for a couple of weeks. However the consultant and gps have been marvellous. I’m not worried too much either as tsh was 13 at this point with my son and he’s fine! (It’s only 3.5). I just feel a bit shit!

All results seem to be very good and Due date is still 12 May.

I’m finding it hard to tell people though - not sure why! @MsJuniper when did you tell your ds? Mine is asking daily for a baby!

Oh I see you had a scan today @MsJuniper, I do hope all is well.

@BlueeSpottyTiger @GreyCloudsToday, it’s terribly hard. I still check knickers constantly. I also lost symptoms after an initial week of feeling nauseous; they can back very strongly when I was over 9 weeks (and it was tough!) writing down worries here did help a lot and taking each day at a time. Plus the mantra, no news is good news. I had very little sickness with my first son too, this one’s been much worse.

Hi all. I hope it is ok for me to join this thread (again, sadly)? It feels a bit premature as I'm so early, but I'm going a bit mad and need somewhere to talk!

I'm 5+3, and have had three previous miscarriages (and no successful pregnancies). All the pregnancies ended at five weeks but the third one was a MMC discovered at a scan at 7 weeks - I have an early scan booked in for when I'm 6+4, and terrified of a repeat of that. I had my hcg levels checked last week and they were rising well so felt a bit better for a day or two, but now back into panic! I had all the usual tests after my third one to not much avail (I appear to be entirely normal), but I have been put on progesterone and aspirin. It's just feeling very hard to believe in the concept of 'fourth time lucky' today.

I'm wobbling a bit today. I'd gone ahead and booked the Harmony test for this Friday, and then my NHS scan came through for Monday, but I'm convinced that I've had another mmc. We saw a heartbeat at 7+5 but my symptoms have been so up and down and I'm just expecting the worst. I feel as though I've jinxed it by booking the Harmony . I am normally so level headed and completely un-woo.

This afternoon I've rescheduled the Harmony for next week after the NHS scan, so at least if it has failed again, it won't cost us to find out.

I feel as though I'm going slightly potty with this. Any advice for not falling into wholly irrational magical thoughts?

Lisa I just want to say that it's great that you're on prog and aspirin this time around, and I really hope it does the trick and everything works out for you. Someone (I cant remember who - sorry!) posted such wise words that I'm trying to keep hold of myself: this pregnancy is not your previous pregnancies.

All the best to you

Welcome back lisa - I’m sure its an extremely anxious time. As brogue said, try as much as possible to see this pregnancy as entirely different. I know it’s hard though. Lots of fingers and toes crossed for you.

Brogue, I think I felt the same. I had my harmony about 10 days before my nhs one (though it would have been longer - the harmony scan moved my due date considerably and the nhs one would have been beyond 14 weeks). But it somehow felt wrong, maybe I felt superstitious or that I shouldnt be adding in extra scans. I put it down to scanxiety. I was really quite low just before the first scan. Will be thinking of you on Monday!

@LisaSimpsonsbff I remember you from before, I just wanted to offer a hand hold and wish you all the best xx

@LisaSimpsonsbff I’m so happy to see you back on this thread. I’ve followed your journey for a while now and have seen you being extremely thoughtful and kind on other miscarriage-related threads. Will be rooting for you.

Hi all, really delighted to see you here @LisaSimpsonsbff - everything crossed for you but I know it feels like a long way to go at the moment.

My scan was ok but I was sent out to drink something sweet as the baby was determined to stay in an awkward position and when I came back things were not much better so I have to go back in 2 weeks. As I’ve had the other detailed scans in the research study I am not as anxious as I might be, the only significant detail that’s not been seen at all are the eyes.

She was able to tell us that it’s a little girl, which I found quite overwhelming news. I just couldn’t believe we’d reached this point and that it might become an actual baby that I can hold one day.

Oh I’m so glad MrsJ! Annoying to go back but it’s sounding so very positive!

Thanks so much for all the kind messages - and great news about the scan, msjuniper!

Welcome back Lisa. It is 4th time lucky for me here, with the aid of progesterone and prednisolone this time. 28 weeks today. It can and does happen and it hope it does for you.

Best of luck for Monday Brogueish. I think that is sensible to have the harmony after the scan, but you haven't jinxed anything.

Brilliant news MrsJ. A wee girl too, fantastic.

Oh. My news for the day - DH has blown up the vacuum cleaner. I guess that gets me out of that chore for the next few days

Thanks to everyone that's reassured me 💖
Sorry for your losses lisa but glad your back here. Congrats :) x

I definately think i need a scan in a week or 2. The private one i have already booked is 32 days away. I booked it for then as it's a few days past when the baby that i had the mmc with had died so I'm hoping to see it still alive.

@LisaSimpsonsbff I'm so glad you're back here I remember you from months ago so I'm honestly so chuffed. But stalkerish?

So I've had some weird feeling that's come over me the last few days. I'm 9+1 (going by LMP but I was about 4 days behind at our scans). With my mmc the sac finally stopped growing at 9+4, 3 weeks after the baby passed and I just can't shake this horrible feeling away even know I guess it doesn't hold that much significance (I guess that was the final bit without me knowing?). I don't even know what I'm getting at but eurgh.

@UnicornsandRainbows1 I think there’s so much going on for us in our pregnancies, our brains latch onto every significant date and try to convince us it’s not going to be ok. It’s like self-preservation but actually it makes things so much harder to cope with. I don’t think there’s a way round it but to keep breathing. So many days I’ve got through just telling myself to keep calm, stay distracted, anything but get caught in that cycle of worry. Can’t say I’ve beaten it but either way the time eventually passes.

@BlueeSpottyTiger I would have the scan, whatever helps you. I think having regular scans has really helped me, I haven’t gone longer than 3 weeks without one yet. In fact it’s the one good thing about today’s scan not being complete as I get to bridge the gap between 21-28 weeks. I knew my 7 week scan was meaningless as I’d twice seen heartbeats at 8 weeks and then mc but it did make the wait for the 9 week scan seem to go quicker.

Ekphrasis yes! That's totally it - scanxiety. Never heard that word before but it's spot on. Thank you. Only six days to do...

Happy scan news, MrsJ, and all thoughts and best wishes to Unicorns and Tiger.

Unicorns I remember you too, so either we're both stalkers or both fine - let's agree on the latter!

I'm really sorry you feel so worried. As msjuniper said, I think it's natural but meaningless that we cling onto these dates as 'when it goes wrong' (trying to stop myself doing that too at the moment!), but it doesn't really work like that.

The lead up to each date it went wrong is really hard but the good news is that it feels great to get past that point. It does help to know you are past what you feel is a danger point.

I have just had my 28 week appointment. Baby decided to answer the question about whether or not I was feeling much movement when the midwife dared to try and take my fundal height and use the doppler. Apparently he or she can give some very good strong kicks and still has plenty of room to leg it from the doppler. We have graduated from awkward to opinionated. Anti-D injection had too. All looks fine apart from a tiny bit of protein in my urine. But not enough to worry about. My blood pressure has gone down slightly since my first appointment rather than up. Hopefully all the bloods will be good too.

Aw good news brenna! (Appt not vacuum!) Glad it went well.

I recognise that unicorns. I got very edgy around my ‘mc’ date. As Mrs J says I think it’s natural, at the same time trying to separate each pregnancy as totally different helps a little. One day at a time, no news is good news, you will get there. I do started to tell myself that, I’ve dealt with it before, I can again, and I can pick myself up and start again too. I know we all feel very differently but I found I had to pep talk myself constantly. —the only other thing that helped was excessive googling, not good but passed the time between distractions!—

I think we all find our own ways to cope. I think sharing and talking helps - there’s no right way to grieve and no right way to handle this. I’ve developed an aversion to scans (the scanxiety!) as my awful mc scan was so unclear - some how I could deal with a positive or negative but not a scan where the baby was clearly failing though alive. At the same time I know many women find them very helpful indeed, and I can see why. I was elated after my first good scan.

Keep talking/ typing, it helps.

Feeling the fear very badly today. I think my breasts hurt less (my only pregnancy symptom), and I keep torturing myself by reading threads where everyone else has a million symptoms by where I am now (5+5). I know it doesn't mean all that much - my SIL had not a single symptom in her whole first trimester, and had a completely unproblematic pregnancy, and of course I've seen the sad stories of people who had every symptom going followed by a MMC - but I so wish I 'felt' pregnant today.