Staying posifrickentive- Thread 19 for ladies pg after mc

[Brenna24]

Ready. Steady. Go

The EPU are ridiculously busy, they wanted me to wait a week when I had a bright red clotting, gushing bleed at 8 weeks and then told me I was over reacting and spotting is normal after a scan confirmed things were ok. I'd already told them it wasn't spotting, from nothing to enough to fill a panty liner in 10 minutes!
They won't see me for a few spots.
My next midwife appointment is 5 weeks away.

This is my only outlet for my worries, if I try to talk to friends they tell me I need to chill and am over reacting. But they've never had a loss, just easy by the book, conception, pregnancy and delivery.
They told me I was over reacting when I noticed signs before my last loss too. I just don't think they get it.

@zaalitje I can't imagine how unsettling that much be for you. Is it possible to ring 111 and explain what is happening if there is blood? I had to do this earlier in the week (partly because I had finished work at 8 So it was a bit late). They got an out of hours doctor to ring me back and did a referral for the next morning at a EPU. I'm not sure if that's helpful or frowned upon but it might be an option. They did ask if I had any previous losses so they took it quite seriously

unicorns there's no blood, that was weeks ago, thankfully came through ok.

I'm having a lot of anxiety about spots and greasy hair, spots have been the first sign when I had previous mcs so the wait for my scan in a week and a bit feels like forever.

No, I don't think you are over reacting. But we are prone to catastrophizing after a loss because we know how quickly things can go wrong, I do this all the time, the anxiety is terrible to live with and I have few people in real life to talk to about all of this. I'm just wishing the time away x. Yes, use this forum as an outlet, your friends etc. probably wont get this if they haven't been through it x

Thanks user my sickness is lighter tonight which really doesn't help my anxiety.

And now cramps have started.

I'm so scared that it's happening again, I don't think I can take it again.

So sorry you are so anxious @zaalitje. Your Midwife or your GP should still be there to get you through this anxiety, if you weren’t pregnant you wouldn’t just be coping at home with it, you’d seek medical advice, if anything you’re more vulnerable now.

I saw a therapist too for the first 20 ish weeks which really helped. Is that maybe an option? Your friends may not have been through it but they could try having a little empathy! They shouldn’t minimalise your feelings because that will just make you less likely to talk to them. But you have lots of people here who understand your worries and are with you! Is your partner being supportive? X

Thank Haz it's a three week wait to get into my GP, and I'm not due to see the midwife till mid December.

I've tried seeing a therapist a couple times before about general anxiety, it's not something that works for me, besides I couldn't afford the £70 a week it would cost (yes I can afford baby, but not if I throw £70 on something other than savings).

I think my friends are trying to be optimistic and get me to calm down, they're all lovely. But the effect is that my feelings are minimised and I've stopped discussing anything pregnancy related with a couple because of how I feel afterward.

On the plus side last night's cramps seem to have settled and I can feel some mild underlying nausea.

I hope all is well Zaa. I get the cramps when my uterus is stretching. They make me so scared every time. I am really wishing for you that this is just natural fluctuations in hormones plus some stretching. The first trimester is the longest, most horrible wait ever after a miscarriage (and sadly it only just beats the second trimester, which is pretty hard too). How do you feel this morning?

Hey brenna I'm feeling pretty hopeless, it's like I know this will fail.
If I was going to have a live baby out of this I should be able to visualise it, right?
Each scan I go I'm expecting the worst.
I should feel sicker, boobs be sorer, not have spots if there was any chance.

Hello Ladies, I hope you don't mind me joining.
Firstly i am so so sorry for all of your losses, It really is one of the worse things we can ever experience :(

I found out i am pregnant again 2 days ago so I'm only 4+3 at the moment.
I'm 25, I've been with my dp since i was 15 and he was 16 and have a beautiful DD from our first pregnancy who is now 21months.

I started ttc again in March this year and fell pregnant on cycle 3 in May. I had a MC at 5 weeks. I started trying again straight away and fell pregnant my first proper cycle after the mc in June. I had 2 lots of early bleeding/spotting and ended up in the epu twice where i had a scan. Each time the scan showed a healthy little heartbeat. The last of those two scans were at 8+5 and my 12 week scan was planned in for 21days afterwards as i was due to go on holiday the day after for 2 weeks in Spain.
I went for my 12 week scan at 11+4, The baby had no heart beat :( It had stopped growing at 9+5 exactly a week after my healthy heartbeat scan! So i decided to go on holiday the day after and have a natural MC. I passed the baby at 12+5 on the 8th of Sep half way through my holiday. I made sure i took codeine with me and lots of pads! My waters actually broke about 8pm and the baby appeared straight away in my knickers. I continued to bleed heavily for 4 more hours then passed a huge clot that would have been the placenta and then by 1am the bleeding stopped. I spotted for a few days after then that stopped altogether after 4days. When i landed i had a scan the next day, i was sure there would have been tissue left behind as the bleeding had stopped but the mc was complete and i was so relieved! I started ttc again straight away and fell pregnant with this little one my first proper cycle in October and here i am. I'm so happy to be pregnant again :) but also so so scared, Anxious and worried so im here for a hand hold if that's okay?

Sorry that was so so long 🙈 thanks for reading xx

Hi Bluee, you poor love to have to go through all that. Everything crossed that this time all will be well but I know you’ll be holding your breath for the next 8 weeks (and beyond). This is a good place to be while you get through it.

Zaa I am 19+4 and just starting to think of it as a baby due to the kicks, but it’s still impossible to visualise holding it in my arms. Occasionally I get a flicker of reality but when you are in automatic self-preservation mode, I think something blocks it out.

Now I'm properly up the nausea has gone all together.
That's really bad right? Just waking up one day and it's gone, coupled with the appearance of spots.

Zaa don't worry about the disappearing nausea - people have symptoms come and go - mine definitely did!

zaa I still have trouble connecting being pregnant and having a baby. I cannot visualise 'my' baby even when the wee bugger is kicking me in the bladder. It is the most bizarre feeling of cognitive dissonance. My nausea came and went in the first trimester with this one, and I felt totally lost each time it did. In my previous pregnancies the loss of nausea was the first sign things were going wrong.

Oh no AnUtter. My niece has PGP and OC. But thankfully none of the rest. She is feeling utterly crap. My heart goes out to you.

Hi and welcome Blue. I am sorry about your miscarriages. The later missed miscarriages are real head melters, aren't they? Congratulations on this new pregnancy, I hope all goes well with this one. You are certainly in the right place for people to understand how you feel. Pregnancy after miscarriage is a different ball game. Feel free to come in here and meltdown. The chances are most of us will have thought and said it at some point too.

I can't believe you are nearly 20 weeks MrsJ. That has snuck up on me. That is great.

I went to my first La Leche League meeting today. It was good.

cats I'm so sorry, but it's good your GP is being quite proactive

zaa I spent the 1st 14 weeks shit scared after an early mmc. We went for an early scan at 9.5 weeks and I couldn't actually tell if I was laughing or crying when we saw heart beat. And bluee I hope it all goes smoothly, it is a head fuck all right

anUtterIdiot sorry you are having lots of issues, my physio reckons I'm likely to end up with PGP as apparently I am hypermobile and a lot of my recent signs suggested it, but physically my SI joint seemed stable, so they think it was actually my back, possibly a disc. I hope at least the OC tests are negative

I'm 18 weeks and saw consultant today as I have had a lletz procedure 13/14 years ago, so he wants me to have fortnightly cervical length scans (starting ASAP, I got impression he would have preferred to see me sooner) until 26 weeks, then I'm to have growth scans at 28,32 &36 weeks due to my suspected septate/bicornuate uterus. Work is just going to love me!

Oh and I forgot to say, my nausea & sore boobs were pretty variable. Tbh they still are. I got a few spots at the start of the 2nd trimester and of course thought the worst then...

@Zaa nausea means nothing! I haven’t had any and there are loads of people who don’t! I actually felt sick in my unsuccessful pregnancies weirdly enough.
@Utter how many weeks are you? I had no idea the itching was worrying until I was making myself bleed scratching a few weeks ago and on the off chance text my Midwife just seeing if there was something I could take. It was 11 at night and she called me straightaway and made me go to hospital! Terrifying. I’ve been having repeat bloods as the itching got worse; my bile acids have gone up but are still not in the category of what they’d consider a sign of OC. The soles of my feet, my wrists and my stomach drive me mad every night! I’ve been back and forth to the hospital, and had a scan yesterday where they checked the placenta and all was ok. But I just want baby out now. They just told me to keep an eye on movements, but that made me so scared I’d miss something I’ve been sleeping for half an hour here and there and just laying awake ‘listening’ to Baby because I’m so terrified I’ll lose him/her right at the end. they put me on piriton which has helped me sleep a bit more. So ready for Baby now!! 2 days til due date. Wish they’d just induce me. I really hope you don’t have OC and the itching stops; I’ve not even been diagnosed with it and it has put the fear of god in me for the last 2 weeks of my pregnancy x

Ps I am sorry if that isn’t nice to hear for all of you hoping for relief from anxiety in the later trimesters; for me it’s got worse right at the end but I think it is seeing all the baby stuff everywhere in the house. I cried every time I told anyone I was pregnant; my only answer is get a good Midwife who will look out for you. Mine has been superb, and a friend of mine actually changed to her on my recommendation as she was having a tough twin pregnancy and her midwife didn’t take her concerns seriously. She missed the fact my friend was in premature labour from 27 weeks!

zaa hope you’re feeling ok and not stressing too much. It’s so, so normal to feel so anxious and disconnected, I’m sure many of us have felt that way. I feel like it’s almost like a defence mechanism because we’re so afraid of the worst.

Blue congrats on this pregnancy and welcome, lots of lovely ladies ready to offer a hand hold on here :)

Oh no utter sending hugs, did you get your results back? Where do you go from there?

haz eek 2 days til due date, how exciting!! Not long now x

I had my 32 week growth scan yesterday, both babies growing beautifully still, one 4lb3oz and the other 4lb4oz! HOWEVER they are both breech 😫 both facing in to each other which is sweet but no good! Get moving!

Had a massive stress last night and couldn’t sleep but I’ve seen my hypnobirthing lady today which has really calmed me down, and she gave me a breech baby hypnotherapy CD to listen to which is supposed to relax you and help baby turn, not sure how, but also tried the inversion position, the hot/cold technique in the bath with frozen peas, leaning over my ball, sitting on my ball aaaand am booked in next week for an appointment with a chiropractor. Phew! Hopefully something will work! Don’t think they’ve really shifted positions at all although they’ve definitely had a good wriggle today. Please everyone keep everything crossed for me that at least one turns! Xx

Oh no @mamma, I’m not sure what you do to shift breech babies, let alone twins! Do you have to have a scheduled C section if they don’t move by a certain date?

Ah thank you, it is so exciting. I am just super anxious right now. Although they say I don’t have OC i am still showing symptoms of it and the risk of complications for Baby goes up after 38 weeks if you have it so they usually try and induce you no later than 38, so I’m just living on my nerves right now at 39+5! I’m very lucky to have friends and family always checking in with me and today, after telling my mum how much my back has been hurting, she and my dad bought us a new mattress, so I am currently floating in memory foam bliss!! We’ve never had a brand new mattress before, just took DH’s old one from his mum’s, so we are in heaven lol.

Hope everyone else is managing to have a fairly relaxed Saturday night and not letting the shitty pregnancy anxiety get you down! We can overcome! X

haz I think so, from what I’ve read they like to get you booked in for one if still not turned by 34 weeks, seeing my midwife tomorrow so will see what she says. I really don’t want to be in hospital for 3 days and have 6 weeks of recovery with a 3 year old and newborn twins to look after! Still time to turn so hopefully they get wriggling!

Oh no I don’t blame you for wanting baby to arrive soon then!! Ooh really won’t be long! The mattress sounds like an absolute dream xx