Other Half told me he doesn't want me to have an epidural

[FirstNov2017]

Lets all laugh together...
I don't want an epidural but this is my first child and I have no idea what to expect. I'm aware of the pros and cons and see it as a last resort. After our antenatal class this week my partner said "I don't want you to have an epidural, it's not an option in my eyes". Anyone else had similar comments/demands from partners? My body my choice and my pain threshold!

Did he give you the reasons why he said it wasn't an option in his eyes? Such as I'm worried about you having it and am concerned about side effects. There are ways to get your feelings and thought's across and this wasn't it. I personally went through labour without one but needed one after for repair. What's his opinion on that, still not an option????

I suggest you kick him in the balls every time you have a contraction. He'll soon change his mind.

Seriously though no one knows how painful it will be beforehand so definitely keep your options open.

I had one and it was wonderful.

NHS antenatal class. She told us about everything but the figures which was a bit strange seeing as she listed all the pros and cons. She sounds like she would prefer most women to have aramatherapy and a birthing pool

I gave birth to my 2nd in a big university hospital in Switzerland, so a lot of births. They said that according to their experience, yes epidural lengthens labour. By on average 15 minutes. And they had never had a serious spinal injury. I was fine with those chances.
Oh and also, there are mobile epidurals available nowadays - I spent my epi labour walking around, gave birth standing - just without pain.

I've met women who have miscarried multiple times. I've met women who have had stillbirths. I have met parents who have lost children due to illness or accident. All of these things are risks every day and yet we still carry on

I have never met a woman who has suffered long term harm as a result of an epidural.

Anecdotal. But frankly, the ante natal gang scaremongering is ridiculous. Ds had surgery aged 3. Technically, they had to warn us of risk of the anaesthetic. And it is scary. But without a doubt, I knew that the vast bulk of people and children having anaesthetic come out better for having had their surgery than those who don't (and I do know someone whose sister responded badly to anaesthetic and is brain damaged. So even that is more common than epidural damage. Anecdotally).

Yes, my DH is like this-he was really scared that I would be paralysed.

It's a concern.
I had one for my first. Because I had a section. Still have problems to this day with my back. I can honestly say it was horrid and I don't recommend them.

Your baby, your choice.

working
epidurals are implicated in women needing further and further intervention including sections. You have an epidural then the labour gets difficult then a section is needed and the dr rescues the situation. And we all say "dr saved my babies life" but actually in some cases it's the epidural that make that more likely to happen.

But if you need one, you need one.

There's always another side though isn't there Head. I had been having contractions every 4-8 mins for 5 days before I had my epidural. I hadn't slept for longer than a few minutes at a time and I was exhausted. I found out later that my (very long) baby was unlikely to have come out naturally and I was in pain between contractions. An epidural gave me a break from this pain and allowed me a little rest. I have had no subsequent problems.
Sometimes it's not what is wanted but what is necessary. I was so against intervention before I had DD. Now I say go with the flow, listen to what your body is telling you and to the midwives (who were amazing throughout my labour, as were the doctors and anaesthetists).

I have not seen a study where they have found that epidurals actually cause further interventions. Most have concluded most likely women who are struggling and are having difficulties already are morel likely to insist on an epidural - so it's correlation, not causation.

I might have liked such a comment as an advance warning as my DH passed out when he saw the needle!

I have not seen a study where they have found that epidurals actually cause further interventions. Most have concluded most likely women who are struggling and are having difficulties already are morel likely to insist on an epidural - so it's correlation, not causation.

Very interesting. Never thought of it this way.

Sorry but it's absolutely not his choice. It's yours.
My husband and I discussed everything and he said that it was my choice and he would support whatever I wanted.
He has no right to tell you something like that.

katharina
That was not the conclusion of the studies I read.

But if you need one or want one, have one.

I gave birth without pain relief at all a couple of times. I found it really enjoyable.so you never know op!