Part 2 - anyone found out they are pregnant and want some buddies

[CL1982]

Hurrah! Here is to thread 2.

Any newcomers please feel free to join.

Aw congrats @lauralou! Welcome to team pink!

Awwww @Lauralou031986 congratulations. Is that your second girl? Xx

@lauralou031986 Congrats! Lovely news.

Well, today i had a panic. I have these utterly irrational thoughts that the baby has died or i'm making it all up. Tried to ring my midwife and STILL can't get through. Plus she never answers my calls which is really frustrating. I'm going to try later. We're not due for a scan until next week but i'm wondering if she can have a listen on her Doppler.

Goodness. I feel a little crazy....

OK. Well....rang DH feeling like a total plonker who calmed me down, reminded me we have had a crappy history and not to beat myself up about worrying and got me to Call the Midwife (sorry, always makes me chuckle). I was in in 10 minutes with the heartbeat banging out loud and clear. Phew. I literally hugged the midwife. They are actual Goddesses and should be paid so much more for just being AWESOME.

Any ideas of coping with the anxiety anyone? I feel like I got very close to losing control this week....

Thanks guys @mummyGof2boys no first girl, Oliver is the big brother, he keeps saying it's a baby brother tho lol @CL1982 no help with the anxiety I'm afraid but do what ever is going to reassure you like calling the midwife

Oh Claire, how horrible to be feeling like that.
It does get easier once you're feeling movements.
Just fyi most of the midwifery offices aren't staffed in the day and the midwife may not answer her mobile if she's off or in clinic. Depending on the criteria in your trust you're probably about the right gestation for the assessment unit or triage. Just so you can get to speak to someone sooner.
Ah yeay Laura lou......how exciting. Team pink!

It night actually also be worth speaking to your midwife about the anxiety. She may be able to organise a quick appointment to listen in inbetween your scans until you're feeling regular movements.

@CL1982 I used to phone the midwife for silly little things but I knew if I just left it I would just dwell on it, anxiety is the worse

Congrats @Lauralou031986 . Delighted for you

Thanks to all for lovely comments re O's name. We all just have just fabulous taste the world is following us.

@CL1982 you poor thing. I have some clue what it feels like. After having O and then all the medical sequelae I took myself to some cbt. I was sceptical at first but actually found it really helpful. A lot of the techniques the therapist encouraged were essentially accepting that you are worried, not struggling against the feelings of anxiety or being self critical about it, separating the planning 'e.g. 'I'll do this to solve the underlying issue' and the being kind to yourself about feeling stressed out by it. I came away much less worried by fear, if that makes sense. I am still worried (sometimes really really worried ) about this pregnancy, but that's ok. Knowing where to go / seek help is hugely helpful. It also helped me tell the difference between the 'something is wrong and I must get back to hospital' feeling (solution: get in there) and the 'oh goodness this is all scary and overwhelming' (solution tea and passing the time).

I found these you tube videos helpful as a matter of general approach to anxiety (not pregnancy related: your midwife might be better with those).

www.google.co.uk/search?q=russ+harris+struggle+switch&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-gb&client=safari

m.youtube.com/watch?v=z-wyaP6xXwE

m.youtube.com/watch?v=T-lRbuy4XtA

Also naming 5 things you can see (I can hold a worry for about 3 but 5 starts to weaken their hold

When feeling rather strung out after the whole Swiss adventure I drew myself this which I found therapeutic. I hope you might find it too.

That's me (the spiky jagged character on top of the mountain). Once I'd drawn that, the lightning and the bats I then drew DH (the rounded character with a back pack) hiking up there to join

@blueobsessive very good advice for @CL1982. After what you have both been through, no wonder you have anxiety about pregnancy. Everyone worries about something going wrong but when you have had something previously go wrong I can see it could become obsessive. I would second the cognitive behavioural therapy and maybe some relaxation techniques when you feel things are getting too much. I hope you are ok. Sending bug hugs.

@blueobsessive could I ask what happened to Olivia or is too raw to talk about? I don't mean to be insensitive. Xx

No idea why it's all in bold

@blueobsessive I like the drawing think drawing is very therapeutic I just don't no how to lol

@mummyGof2boys too raw for full explanation right now, and I think @CL1982 Might find it difficult today to climb down the anxiety mountain if I gave more explanation/ med terms. Not a day for Dr google.

It was v rare. The main symptom was waters fully breaking at 19 weeks. In the very very unlikely event any of you lovely ladies had this I know you'd ring in and they would look after you from there.

I have no idea how to pm but if you are worried and know how you can pm me if youd like to know more- but a trained medical person is better for medical advice. Can happily hand hold, help offload, be in this whole pregnancy malarkey together, share worries, advise on handbags, crave pizza, talk about poo, and share the odd cartoon if helpful :)

I am finding it helpful to know some ladies in not dissimilar preggers boats.

@blueobsessive I thought it might be. I'm sorry if Iv been insensitive and I am glad it is helping to know people in a similar situation to you. Xx

No worries. Glad I'm not the only one spontaneously to bold bits.

Maybe after 20 weeks I might feel more comfortable.

How many days until your DH returns? Hope your ma is doing ok in the circs.

@blueobsessive he comes back on Wednesday and then goes back out for 10 days on Saturday bleugh. Just a tease having him home for a few days.

20 weeks isn't too far away 😘😘

Oh no @mummyGof2boys . That's tough. The money will be useful though.

@blueobsessive to be honest I would rather have him home for the full four weeks. I'm getting beyond tired lol. Sorry I'm having a bit of a moany week 😂😂

Not to worry . It's what this group is for. Totally understand why you would want him home and keep him there for a bit. Being preggers can feel pretty lonely too.

@blueobsessive thank you very much :) I will have a look at those tomorrow. I have committee day tomorrow which means pretending not to be pregnant. Oh dear.

Thanks all for the support-you're all so lovely 😊 I wound up going into the local midwife office, heard the heart beat and feel a lot calmer!! It's so strange. I know it's silly but I just Wind myself up. I will absolutely have a chat with the obstetrician and ask for regular scans I think. I manage 4 weeks but I'm a wreck after that.

I'll start doing exercise and some hypnobirthing I think from now and I'm hoping that will calm me down. Does anyone else want any of the files btw? They are America but my cousin says they are great...??

Excellent advice for @Cl1982 Blue. It's lovely to have a supportive group especially in these early days. Hope you're feeling more settled today @CL1982 - definitely try and get more input if you are struggling with the length of time between appointments.
Big love @Blueobsessive. Must be a really worrying time coming up to that point in pregnancy again. We are all here to hand hold, listen, etc whenever.

I don't know how you manage MummyG Fingers crossed the days pass quickly.

Any thoughts on where I might find a what bag thing in town.(I know I can order one just would rather get one in a shop as I'm in town tomorrow)...im fairly certain these headaches are partly down to tension in my neck and wondering it it might help....

@SS81C I got my wheat bag from Argos and it definitely helps my headaches as they are tension headaches caused my my neck muscles being too tight. That and ibrufon gel on my neck and paracetamol

How is everyone's bumps coming along? Mine is growing nicely. Well into maternity clothes now and loving the over the bump things.

@mummyGoftwoboys it's kind of popped i think! Although it hasn't grown much in the last few weeks so i think it's a combination of bloat going down and growth!! I'll send a picture when i can. Currently I have committee in and am wearing a bump disguising sack!

I have a suggestion which people may not want to take up and that is totally ok. Since we're getting close to the end of the second thread how would people feel about a facebook group? We can keep it closed or even secret but it does mean a certain measure of anonymity loss however so we can just keep going on here if people want :) Just thinking it means we can keep pictures more private and out of the public domain etc.

Group discussion go!