Staying posifrickentive- Thread 16 for ladies pg after mc

[oliversmummy26]

Starting a new thread for us ladies...

utter I do exactly the same. We all do, I think. I know we're all lucky to have fallen again after a MC but the anxiety and lack of control and feeling unable to relax and feel joy is absolute shit.

sweety I am quite thirsty too. I have also had some cramps but not quite like a period. Mine feel more like stretching and pulling around my uterus, if that makes sense. I'm also quite tired and very hungry and a bit of a dodgy tummy this morning.

mamma Hope you've had some good interview news by now. Are you still feeling sick?

ginger Good luck with your projects! Sounds like a fab way to pass some hours. We are also having dinner with friends tonight and the wife is pregnant with #3...preparing myself for feeling a bit jealous but also hopeful that some of their good pregnancy luck rubs off on us

Today is the day my period would be due. Quite nervous but doing my best to stay absoposifrickentive. Scan booked next week...haven't told my manager yet as it's such early days but imagine I will if it shows bad news as I'll want to take a bit of time off. Have any of you early ladies told your work yet?

xx

@meadowlark3 no, I haven't told work yet (6 +4). I'm hoping to be put back on to a full time contract so keeping it on the down low at the moment.

@DoctorDonna, I'm in a similar situatution. My manager has been discussing a promotion with me and we were moving forward and planning a new role. I was due to begin IVF treatment so we weren't at all optimistic about falling! I will of course choose a healthy baby over any promotion but am feeling a bit awkward now

Meadow
I have told my boss and to be fair to him he has been great. They had 6 mc's themselves before success so he is very good really. I have been so all over the place with work I figured it was just fair to tell him why!!
Also if it all goes tits up sending him a quick text will be enough.

Same as you miami my manager knows my history and she was very supportive, she is more of a friend than a boss, and she knew about my early scan 2 weeks ago and cried when I sent her the pic. Feel very lucky to have such good support, with previous MCs work were really understanding about me being off sick and didn't actually mark it down as sick leave both times so it wouldn't impact on my sick record. It makes work way more bearable knowing you have someone in your corner x

Wow- the thread is moving so fast it's hard to keep up!

I treated myself today to a pregnancy book, in an effort to be a bit more positive. It's the 'how to grow a baby and push it out' one. You would think with this being my second I'd know everything now but a 3.5yr gap means I am expecting to need a refresher! Plus, most of the books are so boring I'm hoping this one has some humour.

We have my sister and her DP here this weekend. Looking forward to a mega Chinese takeaway tonight

Miami good news on the scan if I haven't said already.

I have that book Say - it's really good!

Hi meadowlark I had to tell people at work as I thought I wAs miscarrying when my pregnancy tests were getting lighter. They are now much darker after I stopped poasing constantly. My work are fine. I work in the NHS full time and am a medical professional so they're all lovely about it. Also, they don't include any pregnancy related illness towards sickness disciplinary etc so I had a week off with my mc last year and it was fine.

Hi ladies, mind if I join you? I'm 5+5 going by my LMP.
I had a MC at 11 weeks before Christmas and am sitting here trying not to go mental whilst waiting for a scan I have booked in two weeks time :)
I'm feeling very anxious about everything really!
I already have two dc, 11 and 12 and have been trying for a baby for a while. It took us 18 months to get pg last time, and am amazed and relieved I'm pg again so soon. I'm 36 x

Just wanted to let you that my little girl was born safely on Friday, weighing 6lb 12oz. The first couple of days have been a little tough but I'm hoping we'll get home today, then at least I won't have to worry about her keeping everyone else awake with her screaming! I seem to have produced an entirely nocturnal baby...

Keep going all of you. You'll get there in the end and take hope in knowing that this thread has supported so many of us through to meeting our babies.

Congratulations @INeedNewShoes

Congratulations @INeedNewShoes

I've woken up to a bit of a stressful situation, my elderly grandfather has told my over seas relatives that I'm expecting. Woke up to a load of messages from them! Of course they are excited, but now I feel under pressure that everything has to turn out well at my 12 week scan this week!

Congratulations @INeedNewShoes
Great news for a Sunday morning. Well done you.

Wow congrats @INeedNewShoes!

Welcome @Kirsty157 you'll find plenty of support here.

I've just booked a private gender scan for in two weeks time! Anxious and excited.... the weeks are flying by so fast now.

Hi all. I'm 4+5 and I've woken up and my sore boobs have disappeared. Really worried that my pregnancy symptoms are disappearing. I haven't had any spotting. Anyone else had intermittently sore boobs?

Congratulations Ineed! :)

I think it's really common for symptoms to come and go thingy. If you're not spotting or in pain that's a really good sign xx

congratulations ineed! Hope everything's going ok for you and you manage to make it home soon.

Just quickly popping in to see how everyone's doing, don't recognise lots of names on here now though as there's lots of new joiners which is lovely to see

Welcome kirsty.

Congratulations ineed hope you get to go home soon.

otherend that sounds stressful it's not fair when someone shares your news before you are ready. Try to focus on yourself not others. There's nothing anyone can do to alter outcome of 12 week scan so try to focus on today and ignore that thought of pressure.

Re varying symptoms we've all been there, hyperanalysing every tiny sensation, but I think most would agree that it tends to have very little significance one way or the other. Just concentrate on today, you're pregnant, and try not to let thoughts of the future get in the way.

Hi ladies, I'm 8+3 today.
I had brown spotting/when wiping start last Sunday morning. I was booked in for an early scan on Tuesday anyway due to previous mc's. We seen baby with heartbeat measuring okay (2 days ahead) and she couldn't see anything sinister that could be causing spotting so she said it should probably fade off on it's own.
It kind of faded away for a couple days but it started again yesterday morning, it's only brown, no red and no pain.
Would you call EPU again in the morning? I don't want to feel like I'm time wasting, especially as I had the good scan on Tuesday. I'm booked in with the midwife this Tuesday so I'm unsure if I should just hang off and speak to her x

They always say although it is common bleeding isn't normal, so I think you should speak to EPU. It's not time wasting, it's a legitimate concern, even though you've had a scan you're entitled to reassurance still. I really hope it stops soon though x

5+1 today and struggling. Got 3+ on a CBD this morning so have no reason to believe this is not going according to plan. I should really make an appointment with midwife as need to book in around 8 weeks but I'm terrified - I've never made it that far before and twice have had to phone and cancel my booking appt. I can't face doing that again. DH is really finding it difficult, it's like all his positivity has gone. Just feeling a bit woe is me at the moment.

Congratulations @Ineed! Lovely news!

@Tootsy, definitely call if you're in need of reassurance. Like Haz said, it's to be treated as common but not normal.

@Charlie I'm sorry you're having a rough day. I can relate to the heartbreak of cancelling appointments. After my MMC the hospital staff reassured me they would cancel all my future appointments. They didn't. Such a seemingly small thing, but someone taking that burden away can be huge.

I just wanted to check my anxiety barometer with others. I have had a busy day and not felt much movement but I think some earlier on, I know it's still early (19+6), I know I have anterior placenta, but I am unable to stop myself from thinking 'what if the baby is dead again'. I'm going back to work tomorrow and have no interest in it, I am struggling to concentrate which is not where I need my head to be with a team to lead. I'm wondering how I make it through another 17/18 weeks of this. I get myself in a bit of a state (as I did last week) and I'm unsure if others get this crippled by the fear, or if I need to look at doing even more in an effort to find ways to cope? It's hard to not feel like I am failing god knows at what!.

Sorry for the ramble. If you go through it I'd love to know if others can resonate to the feelings as I'm unsure what is 'normal' for women in our situations.

Say I have that awful fear grip me several times a day. It's probably never going to go away :( Like we all do, I think it's just taking a day at a time and venting on here when necessary!
Charlie I have had two MCs too, and with my first pregnancy I was still sent scan letters and appointments through for my 20 week scan. It was bloody heartbreaking, so this time I waited until I was past the point of previous MC to even book an appointment with the midwife, when I was almost 11 weeks. I say wait until you are ready, if it is going to make you feel worse and more pressured just wait to book in.

I get your OH's detachment, it's easy to forget how hurt they are by it too, but it can't feel too supportive for you. It's a self preservation thing I guess to stop yourself getting invested in something to have it taken away again. So few understand how bloody difficult pregnancy is after miscarriage, for both of you. It's exhausting and stressful and one of the hardest things me and my OH have ever gone through. You are among fine company here though, lots of understanding and comfort to be had xx

Thanks @say and @haz - you're right, it is exhausting. I feel emotionally exhausted already and I'm only 5 weeks.