Staying posifrickentive- Thread 16 for ladies pg after mc

[oliversmummy26]

Starting a new thread for us ladies...

So reassuring to come
On here and see people progressing so nicely through all the milestones! So so hope we get there with this little conker! I spoke to my lovely gp today - am 4 weeks exactly according to Lmp and he has booked me with the midwife for a week on Thursday so she can sort me out the early scans they told me I would be offered this time after the two mmc's! V v mixed feelings about the scans - absolutely want to know baby is developing as they should but know that comes with a huge huge amount of anxiety! Those of you who are further on how did you cope with that? All tips v gratefully received! I know there are lots of us just joined from the ttc after miscarriage thread who will be in same boat - @emwithme , @peach and many others!! Big wave!

So pleased your scan went well Donna! Fingers crossed your good luck rubs off on the rest of us too :)

I had an appointment with the doctor today after my brown spotting. She said it's likely nothing to worry about, and that she didn't want to send me for a scan because I wouldn't see anything. Which I knew. I was also very clear with her that I absolutely will not entertain the idea of a scan until at least 8 weeks as I cannot face the uncertainty of "well maybe it's just too soon" again. She agreed to take blood today and again on Friday to check my levels are going up as they should. She said I'll get those results Tuesday so only a week to wait to see what's going on. I think she genuinely thought I was nuts for sitting there wailing and crying whilst telling her the whole tale. She was probably on the point of suggesting counselling but I managed to stop being a total melt eventually!

Everything crossed over here!! Hope everyone else is doing ok :) X

Pattern I'm so sorry you're having bleeding - like the doctor says, most likely nothing to worry about but so unfair to have that experience after a miscarriage! I totally agree with you and Conker - I'm not having any early scans this time (before 8 weeks) unless I really have to as it made everything a million times worse last time. Just got to hang on in there. Today I am pregnant. 5+3.

I wouldn't class it as bleeding exactly, but I'm sure you guys know exactly how horrendous it is checking your knickers every time you Lee. And checking the paper when you wipe. It was just some brown CM- not even dark brown, just enough to colour it, but it just absolutely terrified me.

I'm glad it's not just me Peach who is so against them- I was beginning to feel like a weirdo but me and OH are just so desperate not to have one. I just remember seeing that empty black blob last time and then it still being there two and three weeks later and I was just so desperate for it to have changed or (by the time I got to the last one) have gone so I didn't need a procedure. I wouldn't ever tell someone not to have one if they thought it would help, but personally I think I'm a little bit scarred after last time.

Hanging on in there! You are right, today we ARE pregnant. My ever darkening test lines are proof of that. 5w today (thought I was 4+6 but it turns out I can't count!)

Pee* not Lee

Pattern I could have written that post, I agree completely. We had the same experience with scans (apart from one anomalous one where we saw a heartbeat) and it was just awful.

@pattern totally agree - do not want anything before 8 weeks! And dh agrees - our local EPU do t like to scan before 7 at the earliest anyway thankfully!
Slightly apprehensive about seeing the midwife as after last mmc she called us and hadn't looked at records to see we had had a miscarriage and was all 'how is pregnancy!' We complained as it was v v upsetting and protocols were changed as a result but feel that it will be tricky seeing her again! Am making dh come
With me as cannot face it on my own!

Ladies in the first few weeks you are doing a great job, hang in there.

@drdonna great scan news.

Just wanted to pop on and say 25+3 today, bump definitely growing, little one really active this evening, random people at work congratulating me and making random comments - today I am pregnant and loving it!

@conkerchops that's dreadful! When I Hesrd from my midwife this time she said how thrilled she was to have seen my name come up on her list again (which seeing as i didn't make it to booking in last time was lovely). Is it definitely the same one?

Pattern bear in mind you have raging hormones to deal with so having a cry is perfectly normal especially when you are spilling all to your GP. I'm sure they get it a lot (I know my GP has from dealing with me!)

I know what you mean about early scans. My OH was dead against it because with our first MC I was so anxious despite having no reason to be and after having a scan that said I was 3 weeks behind my dates it confirmed the gut feeling I had that something was wrong. My OH said the early scan made my anxiety worse but I think it's because I was then waiting for a miscarriage to start or something to happen.
With this pregnancy I didn't want to book in with a midwife or anything until I got point the point of previous MCs (10 and a half weeks.) Three days after that point we had a private scan and we could see so much it was amazing. Never thought I'd see a scan like that. It is awful waiting it out but I do think sometimes it helps because more will show. I then booked in with the midwife and had my official '12 week' scan at 14 weeks.

The early weeks are the absolute worst and the only way I coped was distracting myself and almost ignoring it was happening. Wishing you all the best xxx

Also, wise words from my OH, he told me no matter how many scans we had it wouldn't change the outcome. He is right. No matter how frantically I speak to doctors/midwives/EPU it wouldn't change the outcome.

Glad you're able to enjoy it more now grainmum! Fingers crossed that will be the rest of us soon enough!!

Oh TMI alert- it would appear that I am producing milk in minute quantities?!?! Got out of the shower last night and saw this tiny droplet of like creamy coloured stuff on my nipple. Had a minor meltdown that I had some sort of weird nipple infection so I poked a bit and more came out. It's definitely coming down the milk duct so I'm presuming it's milk or something pre-cursory?! It's still like it this morning which is reassuring that I've not gone completely crackers! Anyone else experienced this at such an early stage? I feel slightly like a freak at 5+1 with leaky nipples!!

@Hazanduck Wise words indeed from your DH. I'm 5+4 today and doing exactly the same thing, just trying to pretend it's not happening! Had my GP appointment yesterday and refused an early reassurance scan. I had a MMC last time so I know that just because I'm not bleeding doesn't mean everything is okay but I just can't go through that whole "the baby is X days behind" rigmarole again. I had a scan every week from 5.5 weeks onwards and every week the answer was "hmm it's growing, but slowly", and every week was just agony waiting for the next scan. Even when we saw a heartbeat at 8.5 weeks I just knew it wasn't going to stick and by 11.5 weeks (when the heartbeat finally stopped) I was in such a state. It was just horrendous. This time around I'm just going to live in ignorance for as long as I can (although I am still constantly symptom and knicker-checking which rather breaks my own rules...).

Hope everyone is doing okay today. Today, we are pregnant.

I don't think the crazy knicker checks ever stop, I'm still wearing a pad every day at 16 weeks 🙈
How awful it must've been with each week passing having scan after scan :( the stuff we poor women go through to get our babies. X

Hiya can I join please?

Currently 7 +6 although measuring a few days earlier than that at last scan (have had two already due to 6 previous mcs and some bleeding) but today I'm pregnant and that's all I keep telling myself.

@hazandduck I could have written that post! Your experience sounds very similar to mine with the unfounded anxiety and demanding early scans. Weirdly this time around I'm almost prepared for it, not that it makes it any less terrifying. I've done it once and I'm sure I'd be able to do it again if I had to, but you're right in that it's easier to pretend it's not happening than let yourself believe it might. Ignorance might not be bliss, but right now I don't think I have a choice other than to get on with it and make it as far as possible towards that 12 week mark! 7 weeks to go (just the small matter of my hen do next weekend and our wedding in July to navigate alcohol free first!)

Today we are still pregnant. And my hair is so greasy it's bloody ridiculous. This is not what I signed up for! But I'll take greasy hair over panicked knicker checking- is it weird to panic when I've only got black pants available?! At what point does the desire for pale coloured underwear diminish?!

haz
pattern

I'm 20w today and still pant check. Glance at the gusset of the light pants; a prod with my thumb and a check for brown//red with the black ones.

In other news I'm now allowing myself to get excited about the baby. I can feel it moving, we have already bought some things we need and I've got a couple of names firmly fixed in my head.

I am hereby putting all fears of it all going wrong out of my head from NOW

[gets stick out]
[draws line in the sand]
[checks pants one more time]

Hey just been for my scan, I am 9 w & 6 days & All is well. Saw baby & strong heart beat so happy. Dating scan in 2 weeks now fingers crossed

Yay sweety

Great news Sweetyboo! When is your dating scan exactly--mine's on the 16th (and our dates are exactly the same, although my bean measured a bit behind that at the early scan.)

@WLMcI im 9w & 6 days today & my dating scan is on the 15th 😆😃

I'm just loving all the positivity on this thread today 😄

Pattern well not only is our anxiety the same...I have my hen do in July, wedding in August! Congratulations :)

I think that will be my new mantra: today I'm pregnant! I like it.

Like most of us here I'm still constantly checking my pants and taking comfort in the fact that my boobs are still sore and I'm still vomiting just about everything I've eaten today.

@sweety congrats on your scan.

NoParticularPattern I am feeling you right now with that terror. I just had a tiny amount of brown CM or somethingnot even spotting, just when wipingand I feel like the world is ending. The problem is, I am exactly how far along I was when I miscarried last time, so I'm on the edge of reason already for the past couple days. Plus my morning sickness didn't last very long. Last time, although baby had stopped growing 2 weeks before, I had almost no warning except the disappearance of my symptoms, so lack of ms is not reassuring me. I usually try to be positive, but this is just so shit! How am I meant to go through my days hiding the fact that I'm basically waiting for signs my baby has died?! I'm sorry to be so negative, but I can't even face bringing my DH down with this right now, so I'm afraid it has to be you folks...