north of the border - bulging bumps and bonnie bairns!

[weeonion]

folks - thought it was time for a new thread with a new title for all those whose LO are out! i thnk we shoud be aiming for a meet up in May / June?? - what do you reckon?

weekend plans = hopefully, give birth. But I'm not holding my breath.

Hiya, everybody! lovely weather again, going to Edinburgh airport this afternoon to pick up DH's daugther.

Wo-no action for me yet...about 2 more wks to go..am v.excited!

I have a confession to make actually, in fact, i have always planned to bottle feed the wee man as i worry that i wont be able to cope with BF..but then i saw a different midwife last week and shes extremely kind...when i asked if i need to bring my own bottle as i am planning to bottle feed, she explained to me that BF is good and her kindness makes me think twice about the choice btw Bottle & BF...i am now thinking of giving BF a go...but if i can't cope, can i feed him say BF in the day but Bottle at night cos then DH can do it at night...? any of you can give me some advice?

Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the good weather!!

Vio, there's lots of good breastfeeding advice available on the Breast and Bottle Feeding board of Mumsnet - look under "Feed The World" on the mumsnet.com/talk page list of forums.

I'm walking like John Wayne today - I feel enormous all of a sudden and there's a lot more pressure in my pelvis. I have been 4/5 engaged but think the baby might have dropped down a bit more. Still not hopeful for things to kick off in the next couple of days but you never know...

lazyemma - fingers crossed for you babe.

vio - i got a great book - what to expect when you are breastfeeding and when you are not. i intend to combine feeding - breast and then expressed milk in a bottle so - like yours - dp can feed. i know alot of women who do this so you will not be alone. did you go to the breastfeeding workshop at the hospital - the next one is possibly this wednesday i think??

oooh so exciting that so many of you are so close to giving birth!!! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for all of you!

Vio - that's great that you're considering giving bfing a go. I can highly recommend it now that I've got it sussed. It's just such a lovely bonding experience with your Lo and there's no faffing about with sterilising and heating etc in the middle of the night.

I won't lie to you though, it is likely to hurt a bit to begin with. Someone on here said it's like breaking in a new pair of shoes, but once you get it sussed you can hardly feel them sucking. It really is worth persevering, but even if you bf them for just the first couple of days it is of great benefit to your LO.

From when DS was about 3 weeks old i have expressed most days so that DH can give him a bottle so that it gives me a bit of a break and so that he will be used to bottles if I can't be there to feed him (i.e. if I want a night down the pub!!). Again this took a bit of persevering as at first I'd only get enough out for a bottle every 2 dasy, but now I get about 6oz out in about 15mins.

every 2 days that was meant to say!

Oh and Vio don't feel under pressure from anyone to do anything, you do what you think is right. When my nipple was really badly cracked I felt under a lot of pressure not to use nipple shields, but it was such a relief when i did and meant that i continued to bf rather than give up.

Hi all and happy Easter. Hope all enjoying the lovely weather, even with big bumps.

Vio, I second what the others have said. I've now had experioence of FF (DS1, who couldn't get the hang of bf at all) and bf with ds2. BF is really lovely if you can do it, and so much less hassle (no sterlising bottles and boiling kettles in the middle of the night) - I'd really recommend giving it a go and try expressing for dh to help out with a bottle in the night. But it probably will take a bit of practice to get right - it can be really hard for the first few weeks, especially when you're so knackered after the birth. But it does get better (or at least it usually does - it didn't with ds1). I would just add though, if it doesn't work out, don't feel too bad - I felt DREADFUL with ds1, so guilty, and felt like the MWs gave me v little support once i'd decided to ff, but I now have a really lovely, happy, healthy 17month(today!) old.

Hi All,

Haven't been by for couple of weeks so good to catch up. Thinking of those of you whose births are imminent. Still got couple months to go myself but already 'over' the pg thing. Will not miss it at all, has been pants.

Happy Easter Everyone.

Sorry to hear that, Tallulahbelle - what aspects of pregnancy have you found most difficult?

Although I've had a comparatively easy time of it so far, I am starting to get a bit downhearted now my due date has passed. As much as you tell yourself it's only an arbitrary date, and most babies aren't born on d-day etc, you can't help seeing it as a milestone and when it passes it's hard not to get depressed. I feel like I'm going to be pregnant forever!

talluaha - sorry to hear you are fed up with it all. i know you have had a hard time - ms for ages and trying to keep going. you are due in june? i know it is no solace but when are you finishing for mat leave? is there any way of getting finished early? i know i havent found pg easy - not what i expected at all but now i am enjoying it - as the end fast approaches! it has been alot better since i finished work and been able to relax.
thining of you. xoxoox
r u going to the queen mum's? a couple of people i know had theirs there recently and thought it was great.

Lazyemma I haven't really enjoyed any of my pregnancy. I am 31+ now and still vomiting, also finding the heartburn unbearable as have had that all through and now have spd. of all the bloomers!

weeonion I originally said I would work till 1st June (D-day 8th) but am now signed off cos of spd. I will go back after Easter hols but have decided to finish up earlier as the rest has been doing me the power of good.I am at the QMH. Good to hear nice things about it. It was a bit tatty looking when I had the tour but I doubt I will care about that when the time comes!

tallula - poor you- as you say - you seem to have had all teh crapper elements of pg.
did you get a belt thing for yr spd? i was given one by my physio but to be honest i never really wore it. it helped when i did tho'. i woudl happily give it to you if you want it. glad you are feelign better with the rest - can you get another sick line after easter??

That sounds a nightmare, Tallulah - you've had a hard time of it.

Thanks for sympathy guys. God I'm such a moaner.
Physio gave me an enormous tubigrip bandage to wear - goes from under boobs to top of thighs but is really uncomfortable and makes my skin itch. Got a little support belt from Mothercare instead - not sure if it's doing anything but at least it's fairly comfy to wear.
Will only go back to work for 3 weeks so think I'll manage but if too much will start mat leave even earlier. Can't get sick line cos if off ill within 6 weeks of due date they auto start yr leave, even if illness has nothing to do with pg. Just being stubborn cos want the time at the other end.

Poor you tallulah, was wondering where you were at yoga on saturday. are you still going to go? how bad's the spd? - and how was your midwife/new doctor?

here's my rant: (sorry! ) Hope everyone else is enjoying the easter weekend!

Being pg is rubbish - i have thought so every time, but somehow forget in between....
Am having a rotten week too - dp is working til 11 every night, i have a stinking cold, nursery is shut for easter holidays and my 2 dd's are fighting all the time. We are bored of the park - and i don't feel i have any energy to go any further....
moan moan moan. Am going to turn today around while i still can - but would really love some energy pills!
Hopefully will post back later saying we've had a lovely afternoon. oh and the flats a pig sty - even more reason to go out. and i haven't even mentioned still throwing up at 24 weeks and having aching hips = pelvis
Rant over xx

talulla - seriously - my belt sounds a bit more substantial. i coudl meet you for a handover this week or post it to you? email me if you want it- l dot thompson 773 at ntlworld dot com

lou - sorry to hear you are having a hard time. is there someone close by who coudl help out??

i went into the centre earlier - well walked in to keep active. was standing in boots buying mat pads and really thought my waters were goign due to pressure in groin. started to giggle and clutch tummy. staff nearly had a canary and rushed over with a chair. alls well tho - no leaks and even managed to walk home to dennistoun!

hello again, feeling better now everyone is asleep - and we did manage a lovely afternoon at an exhibition in town, then a stint in princes square (one of the girls favourite places!!) followed by dinner and toy story 2. Still shattered, but happier - although i too will be delighted to have dc no3 instead of this annoying bump!
Weeonion - I do get help a few times a week - which is a god-send, but unfortunately not til wednesday

Hi everyone, thank you for all your support and advice. I seriously think i will give BF a go but if i cant do it i wouldnt force myself.

Feeling very sad lately...wake up nearly every morning at 2,3, then cry myself to sleep. I should be feeling v.happy but i dont..my mum is here so i naturally want to spend more time with her...DH doesnt seem to like it..the fact that he cant communicate with her makes it even worse..I think the cultural differences have made things difficult for everyone....my mum has her own funny ways of doing things which i dont see them as a problem but he does... I feel upset when he says to me...tell your mum that she shouldnt be doing this ...shouldnt be doing that....shes my mum...i just want her to be happy...i mean..afterall shes not staying here forever so i dont want her to feel under pressure...i only want her to feel happy and free to do anything... when i get emotional....i just cant stop crying then i said to DH..i dont know i guess i will tell my midwife cos i really am not sure if i have depression...then he said..you dont seem depress when you are with your mum..you only get depress when you are with me...

i dont know...i am extremely upset...

Oh dear, everyone seems a bit - hope things OK.

Vio - sorry to hear things are difficult for you. You're probably right that the communication thing doesn't help. It must be frustrating. We have friends who are an English-Singaporean couple, and I know they always seem to have problems when the family come over. I guess it's just that the Brits can find it hard to understand the family thing, or at least how very important it is for people out there. We've become so nuclear over here. Have you talked to DH about it? Anyway, hope it's OK after a night's sleep (and maybe now DH will be back at work, I guess after the hols?), but do talk to your MW or doctor if you're feeling down and remember that your hormones are all over the place at the moment. Things are changing for you so you're bound to feel weird. I remember feeling quite sad about the loss of my freedom and how things were about to change just before ds1 was born, but as soon as he came along it was all forgotten. Not that I don't miss being able to trot off to the movies on a whim or spend all my money on a new pair of shoes, but it's sooooo much more fun to have a little munchkin wandering around the house. Hang on in there.

Glad your BH perked up a bit Loulee. Ours pretty quiet after a busy weekend with rellies. DS1 is going through a language explosion at the moment and just wants to know the names of EVERYTHING (twice. or even three times). But so amazing to see him picking words up. Today's latest 'purpoo' (purple) and 'hawhee' (horsey). And he does the 'we are!' bit at the end of 'If you're happy and you know it':

ME: If you're happy and you know it shout 'we are!'
DS1 Eee-ahhhh!

Vio, have you tried saying what you've said here to your partner? I think he's being quite insensitive. As midnightexpress says, this is a very emotional time anyway, and you get to see your mum so rarely. Perhaps he's feeling a bit left out, now that she's here and you're understandably so happy to see her - his remark about how you don't seem depressed when you're with her suggests some insecurity on his part.

I think you should try to talk to him calmly about all this - reassure him, but tell him that you're not going to spoil your time with your mum by passing on messages from him about how she should behave. When the baby comes I'm sure he'll appreciate her help and support as much as you will - in the meantime, it's important that you stick together, because you need his support too.

I agree with all Lazyemma's said, Vio. Your DH is probably feeling completely terrified too at the thought of becoming a father, if the dads I know are anything to go by, which may be adding to everything. I think it's sometimes hard for them to really get their heads round it all until they actually meet the LO. We get the 9 months of kicks and hiccups, but it's all a bit abstract for the guys until they get to hold the baby.

Loulee - am still going to go to yoga, it atually makes me feel better & Maureen is very good at modifying poses to suit. But I am over the 30 weeks now so have to go into the 'big girls' class!!!Will look out for you at crossover time.

WeeOnion - will e mail re belt. Thanks.

Vio- much sympathy. It is really hard to live so far from home (I lived in Oz for 3 years)and so important to have your mum around at this time in your life. You need to make the most of her visit and your DH really should be more understanding. Hope talking to your m/w helps.

Vio - agree with the other's advice - can all be a bit abstract before the baby cries - and families are stressful at the best of times - i actually find my dp's family easier to deal with than my own! Hang on in there and remember your hormones are all over the show when you're pregnant. And def give the bf a go - well worth it, so much easier after you get over the initial sore bit - and so much better for them than cows formula!

Tallulah - will look out for you too. Wont be there next week as am at a wedding (minus kids!) so very exciting, though i will probably be missing them loads come sunday. Will be joining the 30+ group on the next set, but think you may have finished by then?

God, all you lot having babies reminds me it's not so long to go for myself.

Lazyemma - I know it's weird going over your due date - but as we've said before on this thread - make the most of it! - catch up with all those people you've not seen, go for beauty treatments and have a general pamper

thanks everyone for your support..I dont know if its the hormones?? anyway...i do love DH and i know he loves me too but stimes i get to the point that i am getting fed up.....i thought to myself..he has to understand that he married a person with chinese culture and background and i married a person with british culture and background..if i have no problem with his culture ..then he should try and understand my culture as well...i love his daughter and never complaint anything he does for her becos i accepted him ...his past and everything..thats what marriage is about right? i dont think he can do the same for me..some ppl say men are bound to be selfish? i dont know...maybe..just that when i get so upset at night..i wish i am not pregnant..i would walk away and really seriously think twice about giving birth and staying married.

vio - my heart goes out to you. it sounds liek a really hard time at the moment. as you say - your feelings and thoughts are racing atthe minute and you seem to be questionning so much. you have made so many changes of late - ,oving here from hong kong, leaving family behiond that you are close to and coming to a strange city where you dont know so many people. martin sounds like he is a bit lost too at the moment - like the others have said - maybe there is insecurity kicking in for him too. i read soemwhere that in the last days of pregnancy - women tend to need other women. it is no surprise that you love having your mum around and maybe feel safer / secure when she is here. yr dh may not understand that - i do think men are different on that need. in other cultures - by this stage of preg we woudl be totally surrounded by women acting as our doulas and men wouldnt get a look in!!!! if it is harder for you at night - maybe when you cant sleep - explain that to him and work with it. i woudl mention it to the mw at yr next antenatal - when is that and is yr mum going?? you need to keep an eye for pnd after the your wee boy arrives and when your mum goes home.
take it easy babe xoxoxo