Whoops ? I am so, so very sorry hon I hope the time between now and Thursday does not feel like too long, I really feel for you and am sending you lots and lots of hugs. I so wish the outcome was different
Jules ? hope it went well today hon. Glad to hear that the bleeding?s nearly stopped. I know what you mean about pads and big pants . What did they see today? And could they give you any comfort about the next time round? Any idea at all why you?ve had 2 m/cs? I?ve ordered some books on the subject.
Thanks Mumpbump, I?m trying to persuade DH but he is feeling so sad that it?s hard to find the urge, easier for us I guess
Glimmer ? so glad there is no blood or pain hon. We?ll keep you going until 20/3 and beyond. Sending big hugs.
I didn?t go to work again today but think I should tomorrow and start to let life get back to normal a bit. I wrote a poem for my baby today, hope you don?t mind me sharing it with you:
How we?ll Miss You
We never quite met you, but knew you were there
exquisite and matchless, not one of a pair.
You were tiny and fragile but meant so very much
it shreds our hearts that we?ll never feel your touch.
How can we go on without you? why should we even try?
we?ve lost our angel, why baby, did you die?
We set out to create you with all that we are,
blended our beings to create a new star.
We couldn?t wait to hold you, to sniff your soft hair
to love you and nurture you in a life without care.
We longed for your laughter, the smiles on your face
we can?t believe that you?ve gone, left no physical trace.
We shall never forget you; you?ll live in our hearts
we know time is a healer and there?ll be fresh starts.
Our lives are now different, changed by your being,
though we trust your soul to him all seeing.
Your brothers and sisters will hear of your plight
they?ll know that we pray for you each day and night.
When we learnt you were coming we rejoiced with such bliss
we never imagined, we?d lose you like this.
You were our little cherub, our own secret smile,
our joy, our salvation for a short, tender while.
We thought about the future and gave you a name
excitement and anticipation will never feel the same.
We pondered your childhood, your future, your looks
and the thrill of sharing beloved rhymes and books.
We longed to see your heart beat, to know you were fine
we never heard or saw it; a foreboding sign.
We spoke to you endlessly and prayed that you?d grow
and you did and we celebrated; too soon I know.
When we started to lose you, we cried through the night
we just couldn?t bear it, our dear little mite.
The pain was immense, the blood brilliant and thick
and all the while, we hoped that you?d stick
but you just couldn?t make it and cruelly you died
and a tomb was created eternally inside.
We?ll think of you often as we live through the days
we?ll see you in sunshine as you play on her rays.
Though the pain is immeasurable and the loss so severe
just knowing you briefly was worth every tear.
You chose us as parents though short was your stay
and you?ve taught us to love in a whole different way.
Goodbye our little one, may your soul quietly rest
may archangels protect you their heavenly best
may the Lord love and protect you, keep you safe from every foe
and we?ll try to feel better but there?s so far to go.