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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Bleeding, waiting for repeat scans, worried about viability etc – let’s unite in limbo!

389 replies

MrsMcJnr · 05/03/2007 12:39

Ladies, I know there are quite a few of us in this category and I am conscious that although the lovely ladies on here are supporting us on every thread we post on, I am worried that we are spoiling their own pregnancy experience by worrying so I thought I?d set this up for those who really don?t know if things are going one way or the other. Thought it might help us to get through the days/weeks until we do know what?s going on.

For those who don?t know me (though I?m a prolific poster ) here?s me in a nutshell: Based on LMP I?m 9+4 weeks (9+1 based on suspected OV). First pregnancy (though had early termination 10 years ago). TTC for 8 cycles to get here. Got BFP 26/1. Some spotting that week so sent to EPU on 23/1 for early scan. Gestational sac seen by external scan and yolk also seen by internal scan. Measured only 11.4mm though so only 5+5/6 weeks. Was rescheduled for scan 7/3 to see if things had changed. Given 50/50 chance. Started heavy bleeding 1/3. Had emergency scan 2/3. Told sac still there and has grown. Repeat scan scheduled for 9/3. In the meantime, more heavy bleeding, clots, cramps and much anguish.

I just wish I knew what was going on! Please join me.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
jules99 · 12/03/2007 19:16

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MillyM · 12/03/2007 20:22

Hi Jules, hope everything goes ok for you tomorrow, sorry, I'm no help with questions but I'm sure someone will be along soon who is much more helpful!
Whoops, I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. x

sweetbean · 13/03/2007 08:07

Jules i am thinking you hun and hope that everything go's ok. xxxx

Whoops Good luck today and don't go back to work untill you feel totaly comfortable xxx

lissielou · 13/03/2007 08:12

hi all, just want to wish you all good luck.
if theres anything i can do just yell!

lissielou · 13/03/2007 08:13

ps, any news from glimmer?

Mumpbump · 13/03/2007 09:42

Just tracking down MrsMcJnr to express my sadness at hearing your news... I know you were trying for a while before you fell pg, so I thought it might be worth mentioning that you are meant to be most fertile directly after childbirth or a m/c. So if you want to optimise your chances of conceiving again, there is something to be said for trying again straight away. But I know that emotionally, it can take a while before you feel ready so you should just do whatever feels right.

Glimmer · 13/03/2007 09:47

Good morning everybody. Woops, thinking of you.
How are you carrying on? -- Lissie, thanks for asking. Bleeding has stopped again, no pain.
I will try and hold out for another week (scan booked for Mar 20). Whenever the bleeding stops my hope goes up, but deep down I don't think this one will work out. Jules, it hope it's finally over for you. It really does drag out, doesn't it? MrsMcJnr, take your time, hon. One of the hardest things for me was to tell everybody that it hadn't worked out. By the time I did, the news had spread to my friends in Australia and America, so it ended up being an email avalange. This is why I won't tell anybody about the current one (I guess I am still officially pg, since I have +ve tests?)
-- Lot's of strength to everybody.

whoopsfallenoveragain · 13/03/2007 12:42

Hi all,
I have just got back and they have confirmed that I have had a missed miscarriage
I am booked in for a D & C on Thursday.
Good luck to you all that are still in limbo

lulumama · 13/03/2007 12:45

big hugs whoops (((((((((hug)))))))

lissielou · 13/03/2007 13:53

so so sorry whoops. its not fair! cat me if you need a rant!

goes for everyone else on here too!

jules99 · 13/03/2007 15:54

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MrsMcJnr · 13/03/2007 16:11

Whoops ? I am so, so very sorry hon I hope the time between now and Thursday does not feel like too long, I really feel for you and am sending you lots and lots of hugs. I so wish the outcome was different

Jules ? hope it went well today hon. Glad to hear that the bleeding?s nearly stopped. I know what you mean about pads and big pants . What did they see today? And could they give you any comfort about the next time round? Any idea at all why you?ve had 2 m/cs? I?ve ordered some books on the subject.

Thanks Mumpbump, I?m trying to persuade DH but he is feeling so sad that it?s hard to find the urge, easier for us I guess

Glimmer ? so glad there is no blood or pain hon. We?ll keep you going until 20/3 and beyond. Sending big hugs.

I didn?t go to work again today but think I should tomorrow and start to let life get back to normal a bit. I wrote a poem for my baby today, hope you don?t mind me sharing it with you:

How we?ll Miss You

We never quite met you, but knew you were there
exquisite and matchless, not one of a pair.
You were tiny and fragile but meant so very much
it shreds our hearts that we?ll never feel your touch.
How can we go on without you? why should we even try?
we?ve lost our angel, why baby, did you die?

We set out to create you with all that we are,
blended our beings to create a new star.
We couldn?t wait to hold you, to sniff your soft hair
to love you and nurture you in a life without care.
We longed for your laughter, the smiles on your face
we can?t believe that you?ve gone, left no physical trace.

We shall never forget you; you?ll live in our hearts
we know time is a healer and there?ll be fresh starts.
Our lives are now different, changed by your being,
though we trust your soul to him all seeing.
Your brothers and sisters will hear of your plight
they?ll know that we pray for you each day and night.

When we learnt you were coming we rejoiced with such bliss
we never imagined, we?d lose you like this.
You were our little cherub, our own secret smile,
our joy, our salvation for a short, tender while.
We thought about the future and gave you a name
excitement and anticipation will never feel the same.

We pondered your childhood, your future, your looks
and the thrill of sharing beloved rhymes and books.
We longed to see your heart beat, to know you were fine
we never heard or saw it; a foreboding sign.
We spoke to you endlessly and prayed that you?d grow
and you did and we celebrated; too soon I know.

When we started to lose you, we cried through the night
we just couldn?t bear it, our dear little mite.
The pain was immense, the blood brilliant and thick
and all the while, we hoped that you?d stick
but you just couldn?t make it and cruelly you died
and a tomb was created eternally inside.

We?ll think of you often as we live through the days
we?ll see you in sunshine as you play on her rays.
Though the pain is immeasurable and the loss so severe
just knowing you briefly was worth every tear.
You chose us as parents though short was your stay
and you?ve taught us to love in a whole different way.

Goodbye our little one, may your soul quietly rest
may archangels protect you their heavenly best
may the Lord love and protect you, keep you safe from every foe
and we?ll try to feel better but there?s so far to go.

OP posts:
Mumpbump · 13/03/2007 16:18

MrsMcJnr - that's beautiful. It encapsulates so well the fact that it's this whole alternative life/future that is taken away from you when you m/c... My dh took the second m/c very badly as well - thinking of you both...

Glimmer · 13/03/2007 16:20

MrsMcJnr, this is the most wonderful poem I ever read. I am sitting here at work with tears streaming over my cheeks (and I do not cry easily). Thank you so much for sharing.

firststar · 13/03/2007 16:22

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Sparkler1 · 13/03/2007 16:25

Whoops - I've been looking out for you and found you at last!! So sorry to hear the news you've had today. You know where I am! xx

LilRedWG · 13/03/2007 16:28

Thank you for sharing MrsMc.

pinkranger · 13/03/2007 16:33

whoopes i am so sorry for you

Mrs Mc - that is lovley, made me cry , all our little ones are up in heaven playing together, they all shall have friends like we do here

jules99 · 13/03/2007 16:48

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gillian1973 · 13/03/2007 16:51

MrsMc been thinking of you over the weekend. I really feel for you hun. Keep positive and strong and see you in the TTC threads when you are ready.

Jules and Glimmer - thinking of you too xx

MrsMcJnr · 13/03/2007 17:48

Thank you all for being so nice. I'm glad you liked my poem I have a lovely little book from Smythsons with "Baby Notes" on it and it's been with me all the time and I've written everything relating to this pregnancy in it. I feel it is now time to put it away and the poem is going to go to be my last entry.

Pinkranger ? that?s a lovely thought I like that.

Jules ? glad it went ok today and that all is gone, that means you have a fresh slate and the nightmare is over doesn?t it hon? I know that is hollow conciliation but it brings you a day closer to holding your baby

I have ordered: "Miscarriage: What Every Woman Needs to Know" by Lesley Regan (recommended to me on here) & "Trying Again: A Guide to Pregnancy After Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Loss" by Ann Douglas.
I've ordered them both from Amazon and should have them soon. I'll let you know what they are like. Apparently the latter is very detailed but I like that kind of thing.

OP posts:
whoopsfallenoveragain · 13/03/2007 17:49

MrsMcJnr that poem is lovely

zephyrcat · 13/03/2007 18:22

Whoops I've just popped on to try and catch up with how you're getting on. So sorry it wasn't the news we'd hoped for. If you need anything at all you know where I am. DO you need anything doing for Thursday? - Are the little ones all sorted etc?

mum03 · 13/03/2007 18:51

MrsMc - an incredibly powerful poem, thank you so much for sharing it with us all.

jules99 · 13/03/2007 18:56

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