Feeling really unwell & haven't felt baby move

[Quarksoundslikequack]

It's been well over 12 hours since I last felt movement, 8 of those were me asleep.

Feeling like absolute shite, out of breath, light headed.....pounding head.....feeling sick.

27 weeks pregnant today

Went to the council today, have been made an appointment for Monday afternoon. Whilst at the council, I got a call from the police to say that my ex has told them I made contact with him! Once the police went to see him & talk about it, they found he lied as I had actually messaged his sister who admitted to the police she was happy for contact! So he's just made himself look like a prick.
However, due to this, I've advised the police I won't ever contact him or his family again & also want no contact not even about my baby.

Why are the police involved?

Ach Quark. Sorry to hear that. I have read your other threads so understand the bigger picture here. Just concentrate on this lovely little bundle thats coming your way. You don't need the stress of police at this time.

Because I messaged his sister so he called them, the police didn't come out on a criminal matter...he explained he was only there to play mediator.

He has advised my ex partner that any correspondence to do with the baby isn't and won't be classed as harassment or criminal.

He advised that my ex partner is "allowing" me to email him ONCE per calendar month in relation to the baby, I told the police to tell him where he can shove that "once per calendar month contact".

How are you feeling at the moment?
You have had a rough week

Rough isn't the word....horrendous is more apt

Mind is a little all over the place, physically I am feeling much better.

That sounds stressful.
Have you got an order out on him or him on you?

I wish I could get the police to come out whenever something similar happens to us, it would really help us with our case against a family member.

I was advised to get one from the start, I was stupid and thought it would cause hassle that I didn't need, how I wish I did it now.

He has lied to the police twice now & has attempted to have me arrested on both occasions from "harassment" however both times the police have had to explain that it is not criminal nor is it harassment....I'm guessing he's not listening though as he's keen to keep calling them.

I've made it very clear now that I want no contact from him or anyone he's associated to, he is making major issues & attempting to have me arrested for things I simply haven't done. I'm sure before long he'll be arrested for wasting police time.

Well, this is it now.

I have changed my number, my email address and am moving end of next week, him not his family will be able to contact me.

Should he decide to attempt contact with any of my family, he will simply be blocked, I won't be childish and call the police!

Things are stressful but this is a temporary thing, I am going to get my housing sorted and settle down for when the baby comes.

I have only just upped my medication so it'll take a couple of weeks for that to start making a difference.

Positive thoughts!!

I still can't understand how he got the police to come to his house for a text. Why would they do that?
Are you sure he wasn't lying?

Even if he had a harassment order against you I would expect them to tell HIM to take the evidence to the station so they could act on it, not come to his house. Is there a really low crime rate where you live?

I think he was having you on.

Wasn't lying about what??

That I had indeed contacted him directly??

You are more than welcome to read the report which clearly states JD has said that WB contacted him directly after telling the police in November that he wanted no further contact, when police officer went to see JD, it was found that WB hadn't contacted JD, she had contacted his sister who until receiving the text, was happy for contact.

Said police officer, advised it wasn't a criminal or harassment matter but they simply came out to play "mediator".

JD called the police because he didn't like it that I had text his sister, that is all there is to the matter.

I'm unsure as to what the police could have lied to me about.

Crime rate is relatively high, also, its domestic so they had to follow this up.

I think all namechange meant was that maybe he was lying about having called the police and them coming out, just to wind you up. But clearly if you've had official communication with the police directly then that isn't the case.

Sorry, I didn't read it all before replying....I was making lunch & didn't read into it!

Apologies

However, myself and my ex haven't not spoken since November, I have not contacted him nor he me.

The only reason I know about the police is because they actually came to my house and then called me.

I hope you are getting lots of support with all this.
Why has he problem.with you contacting his sister? I know you have said you will stop all contact now but I have read that before Quark. Are you back at work? Keep busy busy busy with friends and family.

Yeah a lot even from the police.

I've said I wouldn't contact however his family wanted to stay in contact, now they have decided to change their minds!

However because of the stress they've put me through, I will NOT contact one member of his family.

I think that's reasonable. I don't see how a relationship can recover from this, I know I would find it hard to forgive someone who contacted the police about me, especially if I had done nothing wrong. They sound awful. Look after yourself and baby.
I'm glad you have support in place.

I agree, I won't ever forgive him for this, not now & not in 5 years time.

He's made his bed, he can lie in it, I want to move on with my life & focus on myself & my baby.

It was fun whilst it lasted however, I've no interest in ever going back to him whether that be for me or my child.

Upped my meds
Back on slimming world
Changed my number & email address
Moving next week

A lot to do and plan but it's giving me reason to get up each day.

Good plan. Sending you positive vibes.

Have they managed to find you somewhere to live? That sounds good.

Not yet, I need to go back to the council as they made me an appointment for Monday so I should know way more then.

It's a shame it's not on pay day so I can prepare & buy things il need.

How did today go?

Not as great as I thought, am stuck in a catch 22 which I'm really struggling with.

The council can house me in a b&b for up to 6 weeks for £150 a week but have advised me that the accommodation il be put in will be "grim" (in her words).

Or I can private rent, however due to not having the money for rent and deposit upfront, the council said they can help but a lot of private landlords won't accept it due to it "being the council" (again, her words).

Even if I did manage to find someone to accept me, the rent would be half my wages plus another £250 on top for bills and what not.

It's great I'm working as it means I've a better chance at getting a private rented property, however, I honestly cannot afford the rent and bills until I go on mat leave, even then given the money il get on mat leave, I don't think il get any help with housing costs.

It's a bit of a shit situation currently, as I begrudge paying £650 for council run housing for it to be absolutely anywhere in the city and! Being absolutely shocking in terms of standards of living.

I'm hoping a bloody miracle happens if I'm honest.

Take the B and B.

Six weeks is nothing, compared to a life time of secure accommodation for you and your baby.

I know it's not really nothing, and it won't be easy, but hopefully it'll be six weeks now whilst you are still working, six weeks where all you will need to do in the B and B is eat and sleep. And it'll be the start of a secure future for you both.

Taking what the council can offer you now means you will have a roof. And you can save, and then if what they offer you longer term is no good, you can look at scraping a deposit together.

But turning it down now means that possibly you won't be offered it again.

And your baby won't remember where you were living in these early days. All they need is you.

Look after yourself - you're doing brilliantly, even if it isn't feel like it.

Does your Dad know this is what has been offered?. If not, inform him. I cannot believe any parent would see their child and future grandchild in this position. Is your mum still around Quark?