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Feeling really unwell & haven't felt baby move

401 replies

Quarksoundslikequack · 13/01/2017 13:07

It's been well over 12 hours since I last felt movement, 8 of those were me asleep.

Feeling like absolute shite, out of breath, light headed.....pounding head.....feeling sick.

27 weeks pregnant today

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Quarksoundslikequack · 16/01/2017 10:44

Just got back from my scan, he's growing exactly as expected. He now roughly weighs 2.7lbs, they are more than happy with his growth. He was moving loads but of course they were happy with that too!
Was very very difficult to seek enthusiastic, something I feel very guilty about....of course I am absolutely over the moon he's well & developing how he should, I just couldn't muster the whole "oh look!" The "aw's"....that's something I feel I lack currently although I'm not completely incapable!

The doctor has increased my antidepressants to 125mg & then after a couple of weeks they'll raise it to 150mg.....I do hope they'll help.

I am yet to see the mental health nurse IF she's free, otherwise I've an app tomorrow with her I think.

In regards to housing, I live with my dad who is moving in with his gf at her house & renting his out, unfortunately I don't have the available income to pay the rent he's asking for.

So I will be attending the local council this Friday morning to present myself as homeless, given my previous experience with the same council, I can only expect a room in a hostel as when I lived in one last, there were numerous pregnant women there alongside women who weren't pregnant & on heroin!
I once witnessed one "clucking", when I left there, I promised myself I'd never put myself in a situation like that again (apparently I don't know how to keep promises!)

Anyways, I'm rambling on now.

Great news! Baby is perfect, he has all the fluid he needs around him, he is growing well & is healthy.

I however am struggling mentally.....I've definitely had better days, weeks & months!

Let's hope I get help soon.

Work have been great, have told me not to rush back but to keep in touch.

Thank you for being ever so patient with me all, I find I'm coping that little bit better knowing I have people I can come & talk too on here.

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DianaMitford · 16/01/2017 12:07

Whereabouts are you op? Location wise?

shakeyospeare · 16/01/2017 12:40

@Quark, can you not get help with the rent at your dad's? That seems really tough. Sending you lots of positive thoughts.

Great news on baby's growth!

Quarksoundslikequack · 16/01/2017 12:46

I am the south west of England.

I can get up to £650 a month in housing benefit but my dad wants to charge around £800-£750 minimum.

My worry is that I won't be able to cover the shortfall in rent as well as bills on top.... as I won't be able to go back to work full time, my money will be very very low once I come off maternity leave.

I would love to rent his house but honestly wouldn't be able to afford too.

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Soubriquet · 16/01/2017 12:49

Your own dad wants to charge £800 a month?!

The tight bastard

MrsGB2015 · 16/01/2017 12:52

Can you use your housing benefit to rent a flat?

PurpleDaisies · 16/01/2017 12:57

Depending on where you are in the south west, £800 gets you a place of your own! Paying that to rent a room from your own parent is crazy. Has your dad had financial difficulties?

BlueberryGateaux · 16/01/2017 13:05

Given your dire circs will your dad waive the rent until you've found another place to rent? Can you get HB when renting from family? You couldn't some years ago. Will he help you find somewhere?
Fwiw I've lived in temporary b&b accommodation when I was homeless and it was horrendous, I'd just had a baby too, avoid it at all costs. I find it difficult to imagine your dad would want you to do that, without exploring every other avenue first.

DianaMitford · 16/01/2017 13:07

Purple - it's £800 for the whole house. Her dad is moving out

PurpleDaisies · 16/01/2017 13:11

Ah, sorry I missed that.

Quarksoundslikequack · 16/01/2017 14:15

I currently live with my dad & have my own room which I pay £250 a month for, however he has now decided he wants to live with his gf & either rent his house out or sell it.

His mortgage is £1000 a month including interest so his argument is by letting it out for £750 means he's still footing £250 of the cost.

I can't blame him, I'm an adult & cant expect him to only charge me what I can afford.
He's not skint by no means, earns an exceptional wage! However he's got used to his lifestyle.

I can get housing benefit as long as he doesn't live in the house.

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Quarksoundslikequack · 16/01/2017 14:17

I'm petrified il still be in this hostel when I've had my child & it'll affect my mental state.

I've lived in hostels before & they are horrendous.....I completely agree, it's not a place for a baby.

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SpeakNoWords · 16/01/2017 14:21

I know your Dad shouldn't be expected to help you out, but if he's financially comfortable it seems somewhat mean to leave his daughter and soon-to-be grandchild homeless and living in temporary accommodation.

MrsGB2015 · 16/01/2017 14:32

£250 is a really good deal, did you manage to save any money before?

Have you looked at flats online?

Does your Dad know your only option is a hostel?

Do you have any other friends/family?, I'm sure they will help you out for a bit rather than you having to go to a hostel.

endofthelinefinally · 16/01/2017 14:41

Could your dad not rent the house on a room only basis? So you have your room and share with a couple of others?

usernoidea · 16/01/2017 15:06

Why don't you ask to see a social worker whilst in hospital to be referred for emergency housing.....then you could maybe get a place sorted instead of having to go to a hostel? X

Quarksoundslikequack · 16/01/2017 15:08

His words are, why should I have to foot the bill for a 26 year old grown woman....unfortunately my parents view me as an adult & I am expected to get on with it & just live where I can, regardless of how bad it is

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Quarksoundslikequack · 16/01/2017 15:10

£250 is great, however I was and have been in debt since living with him so saving money was a no go.

I've been online & found some really nice properties but unfortunately I don't have the means to get hold of £2k to pay for a deposit & first months rent & fees.

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Quarksoundslikequack · 16/01/2017 15:11

Oh no, daddy is far too posh to have others living there....he wants it to go to a family in the hopes it won't be trashed. However he is veering more toward selling

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Quarksoundslikequack · 16/01/2017 15:12

My support worker is making an application as we speak....when I got to the council on Friday, they will place me in a refuge or hostel.

Sorry to individually reply, I keep forgetting what's been said. Oh the tiredness!!

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SpeakNoWords · 16/01/2017 15:36

It's a shame your Dad is happy to see you homeless rather than offer you any kind of help, I do think that's really harsh. I hope you can get something suitable sorted out soon and that you are happy with it.

Flowers
chatnanny · 16/01/2017 16:04

It's just a thought but I wonder if Gingerbread the charity which offers support to single parents might be a point of contact for you for advice and support? gingerbread.org.uk the NCT also runs outreach groups and coffee mornings around the country including the West Country: NCT.org.uk
Chin up, you're doing well and being brace. Sounds as if you're definitely better off without your ex. I hope the authorities will be claiming child support from him though?

F1ipFlopFrus · 16/01/2017 16:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Quarksoundslikequack · 16/01/2017 16:46

The issue is, I wouldn't pass the credit check, so agency is a no go however i am more inclined to go private as I can choose where I want to live.

I am ringing CMS as soon as my baby is born to claim child support, I couldn't care less the time it takes, I WILL be claiming it.

Trying to stay positive! That this is all temporary, yes a hostel is possible but it's just one step to a permanent home for me & my son

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BlueberryGateaux · 16/01/2017 16:58

Just because you're a 26 year old adult doesn't mean you should not get support or help with a deposit from a wealthy parent.
I feel your dad is being way too harsh here, fair enough if he was skint, but he's not. Even more expedient seeing as you are pregnant, abandoned by ex partner, have mh issues, have pneumonia, a problematic pregnancy Sad