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Feeling really unwell & haven't felt baby move

401 replies

Quarksoundslikequack · 13/01/2017 13:07

It's been well over 12 hours since I last felt movement, 8 of those were me asleep.

Feeling like absolute shite, out of breath, light headed.....pounding head.....feeling sick.

27 weeks pregnant today

OP posts:
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SILfoundmyusername · 15/01/2017 14:04

teacake the OP went on Friday and has been in hospital over the weekend on antibiotics for a chest infection.

Original poster
Quarksoundslikequack · 15/01/2017 14:56

Hey teacake, thank you for your advice.

I agree, I won't be taking any chances in future & won't feel bad about going in.

OP posts:
NameChange30 · 15/01/2017 19:33

It sounds as if you feel very lonely and unsupported at the moment, and I'm sorry to hear it Flowers

Please do talk to the nurse at the hospital and to your midwife about how you're feeling. I think you could really benefit from some specialist perinatal mental health support.

There is also Home Start, if you contact them they might be able to assign you a volunteer who can visit regularly and help out as well as providing a bit of company.

It must be hard to feel you don't have anyone but it's better to have no-one than someone who is toxic and makes you feel worse in the long run. I'm a fan of "quality over quantity" when it comes to the people you have in your life, one supportive person is better than five flaky ones, and you can then build on that. I don't know if you have that one person but please do reach out for the support that's available.

Flowers
PurpleDaisies · 15/01/2017 19:36

How are you doing this evening quark?

Original poster
Quarksoundslikequack · 15/01/2017 22:35

Hi All,

Back in with reduced movements....cried the whole time I've been here. Midwife asked about personal situation & I broke down & cried, told her I wanted them to deliver the baby so he can go to someone who's not mentally unstable.

I just don't have the fight in me, to keep going anymore.

I can only function normally whilst in a relationship that I'm invested in....I enjoy closeness and connection.

So during the time it's taken me to write this, I've found out the issue with my arm is yet another infection!

And! I have protein in my urine, will I ever catch a break?? I honestly don't think so

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 15/01/2017 22:36

It sounds like you're absolutely in the right place. Flowers

I hope things start improving soon.

Original poster
Quarksoundslikequack · 15/01/2017 23:24

The doctor just came back, such a lovely woman. Didn't rush me, asked me about everything that's going on.

I broke down and just told her everything and how I feel I have officially hit rock bottom & needed help.

They want me to stay in so I can see the mental health nurse in the morning, it's highly likely I'm going up on my tablets which to be fair, I'd take 500mg if it would help.

Sorry to give you a step by step update on my life, I just feel I'm burdening my family

OP posts:
Doublemint · 15/01/2017 23:40

Quark you're not burdening ANYONE by taking care of yourself and baby quark.

Yes you are struggling emotionally and physically as well as fighting off this pneumonia twat BUT you are seeking help from all the right people and that shows such a strength of character and self awareness. You should be proud of yourself.

Flowers
SILfoundmyusername · 15/01/2017 23:50

Quark, I'm glad you went back in and let them know how you are felling so you can get the help you need. It really is all a good thing and you were strong to tell them. In a few months there will be a tiny person who thinks you are their whole world and will depend on you for absolutly everything.

Tomorrow might be difficult to talk about, but it will be the start of getting help. You are not burdening anyone, I'm sorry your family didn't go into visit you when you were clearly unwell.

SealSong · 15/01/2017 23:55

I've just read the whole thread, and wanted to say how sorry I am that you're going through this, Quark, and it's no wonder it's getting you down and amplifying feelings of being alone.
But, you felt ok before, and you will feel ok again,
Do keep in mind that being physically unwell in this way can affect your mood too. Try to be kind to yourself. You sound lovely and you'll be a fab mum.
Do keep posting on here. There are loads of people rooting for you on here and wanting to know how you're getting on.
I hope you and baby feel better soon.

Original poster
Quarksoundslikequack · 16/01/2017 00:45

Thank you all so so much for the support & such kind words!

All I want is to be mentally better for the sake of my son, I want him to only know a strong mummy who coped with most things.

This whole situation isn't anything to do with him at all, I assure you he was/is such a happy surprise even if his father said that and then fucked off.

I worry about him constantly, all I want is a happy and healthy baby, I want to show him what real love is and that life can be anything he wants it to be.

I can't protect him from everything but I will damn well try!

I just want to be well both physically and mentally, I want to be ready for his arrival.....to ensure he has the best start.

I'm still waiting for a bed, I have a feeling il still be sat here in 5 hours time waiting for a bed! I don't expect one, I wouldn't want to take one from anyone else.

OP posts:
shakeyospeare · 16/01/2017 01:02

Hey Quark, just read through your thread and wanted to just say hi Smile Ten and a bit years ago, I was in a similar situation and the future looked pretty bleak and scary and I was so lonely and pregnant and felt so low and it was so hard being around people. I had a kidney infection that led to me being in hospital for a week and all I saw were happy couples and it was so painful. It gets better. You're in the right place and you'll get the support you need.
Things will be hard and there will be times when it seems like it's so overwhelming but you'll get through it. You need to make sure you're looking after yourself and being gentle with yourself - that means making sure you're better before anything else.
As for your ex, each day makes things easier. He's clearly an arse. You'll have a beautiful baby soon who will fill up your heart.
It gets better x

Original poster
Quarksoundslikequack · 16/01/2017 01:10

Thank you for your message.

I am currently sat on a ward filled with couples & it makes my heart break just that little bit more whilst I've an empty seat next to me Sad I never expected for one second that I'd spend half my pregnancy alone.

My ex is an asshole, he is a selfish wanker....why I waste any time over him I don't know, I guess it's hard to get my head around knowing that he knows about all this (our baby & his reduced movements) yet honestly does not care or give a single shit....hasn't even thought oh I better try get in touch to see how my son is, I swear he honestly thinks if he ignores it, it'll all go away & he can get on with his life & start again like none of this ever happened!

I think my New Years resolution should have been to stop fucking moaning about my ex.

OP posts:
MrsAHotch · 16/01/2017 01:17

I'm so sorry you feel so down Flowers You've already shown what an amazing mum you are though - getting yourself seen and making sure that you and baby are well. As much as it hurts to see couples around you and be hurt at the lack of care or contact from your ex, you will be amazed at your own strength and how much you can do. I hope you feel much better soon and that you and baby have an amazing life filled with love.

GlitteryFluff · 16/01/2017 01:24

Oh op I'm sorry things are shit for you at the mo. Flowers being alone is better than being with an arsehole, even if you don't believe it right now.
Wishing you and baby all the best.

shakeyospeare · 16/01/2017 01:28

As the PP just said, you have already shown what an amazing mum you are and you really will be amazed at your inner strength.

Getting over anyone is hard whether they're a dick or not - but you will get over him and one day you'll look back and wonder what on earth you saw in him - hold onto that.

For now, you moan away here - if he's not involved, it's his loss. My DD's father knew I was in hospital and didn't care. When he found out she was born he didn't care. Nearly 11 years later and he still doesn't care. His loss.

You and your baby will have each other and there's no love or bond like that between a mother and a child.

Have you thought about a journal to detail how you feel and what's happening along with setting some goals for yourself? I had a scruffy notebook from work that I wrote letters to my bump to and I'd like to think that writing it all down helped clear my head.

You are strong and you will get through this. It's a new year and a new start and you have a few weeks until this beautiful baby is in your arms and keeping you up all night!

onmybroomstick · 16/01/2017 01:38

Hope all is ok op and you feel better asap xx

flumpybear · 16/01/2017 01:41

Big hugs quark- you're in the right place ... wishing you well Flowers

KenzieBoosMummy · 16/01/2017 02:32

Glad all is ok!

But can I just say it really isn't good to be trying to lose weight when you're pregnant. In fact it can be very dangerous and a risk to the baby x

Northernlurker · 16/01/2017 06:47

I see you've been readmitted op. Please don't rush to be discharged this time. You need support and you can get that as an inpatient at the moment.

Original poster
Quarksoundslikequack · 16/01/2017 06:53

I won't be kept in any longer than today as there isn't anything wrong with me in the sense of they've now effectively treated all my physical issues.

I know like the doc said, this is still an illness however I can't imagine the NHS would be too happy knowing they are funding a physical illness bed for a mental illness.

I'm on the slimming world diet that the midwife referred me to, she and a few midwives have said, as long as I've the weight to lose, it's perfectly safe. I could effectively lose 6 stone & they wouldn't be concerned as it's all extra weight from before the pregnancy.

Just been woken up to do obs, absolutely knackered not enough sleep at all. I'm unsure how I'm going to cope the rest of today, my eyes are stinging as I'm so tired.

OP posts:
flumpybear · 16/01/2017 06:55

Go back to sleep now for a bit then you'll feel better. When you go home will you be with someone? If not can you stay with your parents??

Original poster
Quarksoundslikequack · 16/01/2017 07:17

I'm trying it's just I'm on a ward & they've put the lights on.

All my family who I'm close to work full time so I've no other option but to go home alone

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girlelephant · 16/01/2017 08:14

OP hope you and baby Quark's infections etc are clearing up please continue to treat your MH & physical health as vital.

I know your family work FT but do they realise how you've struggled mentally with being in hospital? Can you call your Dad & tell him how you are feeling? Hopefully he can visit today whether that's at home or the hospital

With pneumonia I'd be shocked at a GP not wanting you signed off at least for this week. I know you are lonely but you need to rest FlowersFlowersFlowers

girlelephant · 16/01/2017 08:15

Also you've mentioned you are about to be made homeless, where are you staying now and when does that end?