Staying posifrickentive- Thread 13 for ladies pg after mc

[LynseyH]

And here we are at thread 13... we can do this

carrick congratulations on the birth of gorgeous Cooper! I'm sorry he is not doing too well and hope he is back up to you and feeding really soon!!

Congratulations again Carrick! I'm sorry that Cooper isn't well but I'm glad you're both being looked after. Hopefully you'll be home soon. I've been wanting to ask you how the home birth went; especially since I need someone to tell me that it can be okay at the moment!

I know my colleagues just want me and baby to be safe and it's their own worries that made them say I should go to hospital. I think that my own anxieties around hospitals will make it the worst place I could choose.

Congratulations Carrick. He is beautiful and hopefully on the mend. Sorry you've had a traumatic start. Try and get as much rest as you can x

Nasch- a colleague of mine wanted a home birth with her first baby. She ran into complications so they transferred her to the hospital. It's not like you are stuck at home with no access to help. Personally, I liked being in hospital. I liked the barrier it gave me as my mum and mil were restricted to visiting hours of couldn't drive me too insane (I was admitted at the end with bp issues and went into labour whilst I was there). I was really well looked after with my dd. I had the same midwife throughout and I delivered in a quiet, dimly lit room with just dh and the midwife. My mistake last time was going home so quickly. I went home at lunchtime after delivering dd in the early hours. People desended on us within minutes of us getting home and I was overwhelmed. But, that was me and you are you. Make your decision based on what you want and don't try and justify it. Either way, you can change your mind at any point x

Aw congratulations carrick! He is absolutely lovely. I hope he's on the mend for you super fast and things get easier for you all.

nasch someone said to me a few months ago (when I first started talking/thinking of a home birth) that if you decide on a home birth and then change your mind, you can still go to hospital. If your at hospital, in labour, you can't just change your mind and go home.... point being, go with your instinct.
I also believe your colleagues are trying to be helpful but this is a big decision that they should allow you to think over and make at your own pace.
My reason for planning a home birth is simply because my sons all got quicker when born (8 hrs, then 4 hrs then 1hr 9 minutes!) I got to the hospital with literally a minute or 2 to spare with the youngest and I'm terrified of giving birth in the car. If I can stay home, it'll make life much easier for us as a family too.

Congratulations on a great scan by the way mrsalan!! Sorry missed you before.

Ooh carrick congratulations he is beautiful. Hope he is feeling better soon and you are doing well.

Congratulations Carrick. He's gorgeous Sorry that the first few days have been difficult. Remember to take care of yourself as well

I think my cats are trying to induce my labour. Grumpy old lady cat had a massive fight last night and came in limping resulting in an even grumpier moggy and a £70 vet bill. Naughty kitten (who is actually 2 but will always be the 'baby') fell off the roof of the house on to the glass roof of the conservatory and then couldn't keep his footing. I had to climb on a ladder to rescue him!

carrick wow he's beautiful! Really hope he's back up with you again very soon and you can get back home to.resume your baby moon!
nasch are there any other reasons why a HB might not be ok for you? I have had four HB and despite being the ripe old age of 42 and my 'parity', I am now living in an area where they are very pro home births and are encouraging me to have another.
I will see, as always, nearer the time.
It's always been absolute bliss to just settle in my own bed with baby and a cup of tea- I'm not sure I can imagine doing a hospital birth, but would certainly do it if indeed there were any risks which outweigh being at home.
The MW have always brought big waterproof pads with them, although I did have a waterproof sheet just in case!
Two were born in bed, one in the bath (not intentional!), and the last on the sofa.
It's nice to be in a familiar environment and keep mobile and relaxed

Thank you for the supportive words everyone! Exactly what I needed to hear.
MrsAP so far no reason why I can't stay at home and my midwife has been very supportive about it. The community midwives here are pro home births too.
lynsey I will absolutely keep an open mind and know it might not follow my ideal scenario - but like you say, I'd rather decide I need to go in than be there and be desperate to be at home. To be honest it's not the birth so much but afterwards! I'd much rather be at home in my own bed and with DH than him being sent home and me left alone with a new baby!
Whatser Already planning on saying to parents etc that we will want some time to ourselves before people arrive. I'm quite a private person and can absolutely imagine it all being too much having visitors soon after giving birth.
I hope that your cats are on the mend and behaving now. Mine have ignored me for weeks but now bump is big they seem to think it's the best place to sit in the evening and take it in turns!

Grumpy cat is most definitely on the mend. The vet gave me the choice of the very expensive 2 week antibiotic injection or the much cheaper tablets and I went for the jab because it really is a wonder jab. I wish there were a human version! Trying to keep her in for 5 days is going to be the tricky bit! I'd recommend being very strong with visitors. That was our original plan but Dh was so desperate to show dd off he wanted to go visiting and have others visit us. I felt superhuman post birth and was happy to go along with it for a couple of days but then I crashed spectacularly: it was all too much for me and im sure was why breastfeeding failed. I tried to be superwoman and keep everyone happy which was a massive mistake. My biggest piece of advice to any first timer would be to not do anything in the first week. Plan to sit at home in your pj's. Get dh to do any housework that needs to be done. Take turns in holding and getting to know your baby and sleep when you can. Box sets are your friends. Let others do things for you too - don't be afraid to tell your parents and inlaws to make the tea when they arrive or bring a pint of milk with them.

Omg carrick what a little laddy!!!
He's outstanding ❤❤❤❤
My first wasn't very well after he was born so I know a little of what your feeling, just get thru each day and please don't try to be to strong, your going to have meltdowns and feel overwhelmed, lean on your nearest and dearest and reserve as much energy as you can!
Give him a kiss on those fat little cheeks for me 😘😘😘

carrick congratulations, he's gorgeous. I hope he is back with you soon and I wish you a speedy recovery too.

Sorry I've been MIA for a while. This thread moves so quickly that by the time I've caught up I've run out of time to post myself.

Glad to see everyone is doing well and looking forward to seeing more babies on this thread soon!

I just realised mrsP that we are the old hatters of the group lol
Your on baby 5 and I'm on baby 6 😂
I would have loved to have had a HB at any point but I've had to be induced with each so far and although it was my absolute plan to possibly have baby no.5 at home and without intervention, they where very against it as apparently baby no.3 & 5 are generally the ones that people can run into trouble with, strange but true apparently.
In my case I did have a PPH with no.5 so now there's no hope of ever experiencing HB, amazing that you have done it 4 times!
To be honest tho I haven't minded being in hospital so much, nice to spend a bit of time quietly getting to know the baby before the chaos at home ensues lol
I'm 34 and our kids are 16, 13, 9, 8, 4 & belly! How about you xxx

Just treated myself to a pregnancy pillow, it cost me £42 and I feel like I've been robbed!!
It better be worth it lol

He's beautiful carrick I hope he's back with you very soon, must be a very stressful time but hopefully it will be over quickly.

whatser I'm glad your cat is on the mend! I have 3 but I hate them when pregnant it's happened every time I've gotten pregnant I just can't stand them it's awful, thankfully it goes soon after birth though! (I still make the effort to cuddle them when pregnant though, I'm not mean)

Had my first consultant appointment today and got to hear the heartbeat again. Was nice to have a plan put in place so il see her every 2 weeks, and then once past 28 weeks il have scans every 2 weeks and the baby's heartbeat trace every week atleast, hopefully that will help keep me sane until it's safe to induce.

bec and mrsp I envy your big families, I would love 5 or 6 but won't be brave enough to do it again after this one, it must be lovely and I imagine stressful and knackering having such lovely big families

That's really great alb that you have a good structured plan in place, obviously anxious times going for each appointment but I personally thrive being proactive, sometimes especially in pregnancy it all feels so slow and out of your control, so that seems like a winner to me knowing what's what's and being prepared 👍
I think once you've had your little lovely you will find the courage to go again, you'll have the knowledge that you produce lovely healthy little squidgies and that will help you find the confidence to trek down the difficult road once more, also you will probably feel compelled to produce a sibling lol
life is a bit manic over here but when your used to it you deffo wouldn't change it, the only downside for me is that I'm too overprotective and I don't trust anybody to mind my kids and even tho I'm wary I would allow my mother to have them occasionally but she just makes up excuses and never offers, I wouldn't have a problem with that as it's quite and undertaking but she baby sits my sisters 4 without hesitation and although I do have 5 my eldest is 16 so obviously he doesn't need watching, it's all a bit unfair really but hey ho lol
I've enlisted my sil ( she is a special needs teacher so very good with kids!) to come over on the 13th of Feb to watch the kiddos so we can try to have some kind of valentines date, I've booked cinema tickets to the new 50 shades movie, much to the hubby's dismay lol

Bec a pregnancy pillow is a brilliant investment, really really is!! I loveeeeee mine! So supportive it's a full body one, and really amazing x

Sah you have made me so exicted to get it lol
It's like a giant letter u so hopefully it will be cozy xx

Oh no whatser! That's crazy you climbed up a ladder at 38 weeks!! Hope your cat is ok!

Alb glad the consultant appointment went well. That's great you got to hear heartbeat again and really good you'll get regular scans.

What pregnancy pillows do people have? I have a huge long one but it isn't that amazing. I have always had a bad back from a car accident but lately I'm just so uncomfortable!!

26 weeks exactly today so officially 6 months pregnant! It's going so fast now!!

I ordered this one jpeg xx

Sorry alb I forgot you already had a little one, xx

Right come on then ladies so far my predictions are on track, we had carrick this week, so you've got until next week watser your next to labour lol
Then it's you Lyns last week of Jan lol 😘😘

Watser has to get her labour mojo ready xx

It's fine bec I find it hard to keep up with who's on what number baby too I hope we are brave enough one day, I'm 27 so it's possible we could have a break for several years after this one and then discuss another if we still want to. I understand not trusting others with your children, we only have the 1 and I find it hard, my in laws babysit but that's it, I try to tell myself I'll be more trusting when he's old enough to confidently tell people what he wants and understand what time il back, but it's probably a lie, I think il never change on that one!

It's exciting that several of you are nearing labour time, looking forward to some lovely baby announcements

whatser I think your mad (but brave!) getting up a ladder! I wouldn't do it whilst not pregnant let alone now lol.
Glad puss is on the mend though.
xxbec and jpeg Pregnancy pillows are a definate must have! I bought the Sangol one which is great but quite expensive then bought a second one so it'd match my bedding never had one before so it was a revelation for me! Don't think I'd manage without it now.
I still haven't done my bag ready incase I need to go hospital and it's really been playing on my mind so ordered a bag today and made a list of everything we'll need. Didn't feel satisfied with that though so I've put the most essential stuff in a box for now (a pretty pink box!) I plan to be shopping in the morning to get the last of what we need and then I think I'll settle more. With just over 4 weeks till the due date, it's all getting abit real and for some reason I feel quite anxious this time that things won't be ready or I'll have forgotten something :-/ xxbec I'm convinced myself that this baby is going to come early which I think is making me more worried about not being ready!!

Alb your a baby!! 27, you've got at the very least until your 34, I know you have suffered terribly but from my experiences of loss (obviously different from you) giving birth successfully and having a beautiful healthy little baby can be very healing, obviously when I say healing I don't mean forgetting you're dear lost little one, it's more of a coming to terms with what's happened and knowing that this baby in your arms right now was your destiny, obviously u may not feel anywhere near the same as I do, but that's how life has been for me.
Xxxxx

Lyndsey i have been known for being a bit witchy about these things lol let's try to drum up a list to make sure you can get what you need....
Breast pads
Maternity pads
Baby wipes
Toiletries (if going to hospital)
Slippers/dressing gown
Socks
Going home outfit (leggings & comfy top if you go into hozzy)
Bra's & comfy black draws.
2x nighties or shirts you would feel comfy giving birth in.
2x pairs of comfy pj's for while your in labour.
Huggies bed pads for in case your waters go in bed.
Books or puzzle books for any boring times (hospital)
Fresh sheets and bedding to hand (if your at home in case you want the hubby to make the bed fresh after labour)
Phone charger!! (Hospital)
Camera
Car park money

I have a spare credit card that I leave in the kitchen cupboard in case whoever would be having the children would need money for any bits while me and the hubby aren't around!
Petrol in the car lol

Chip in girls if I've forgotten anything for the mum bag xx