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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnancy after mc - part 5 the support we need - luck to all

998 replies

firststar · 12/02/2007 14:23

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Furrymummy · 21/04/2007 09:00

Hello ejb, poor you being under so much stress. I hope now those results are putting your mind at ease now.
Daisybump - won't be long now!
Hope everyone has a great weekend, it's my birthday to day and DH has bought me a clarinet!

Daisybump · 21/04/2007 10:32

Happy Birthday Furrtmummy...I got a goitar for mine...we should start a band

ejb ...fantastic news. hopefully you can relax now and enjoy the rest of your pg....

Daisybump · 21/04/2007 10:33

god my spelling these days....that's what water retention does...you miss all the riht keys

MrsFish · 21/04/2007 12:37

Happy Birthday Furrymummy

becklespeckle · 21/04/2007 12:41

Hello everyone, just wondered if I can join? Got a v faint BFP with a cheapy ebay test on Thurs, another this morning and a stronger (but not immediate) one on a clearblue this morning! Had a missed m/c 9 years ago (baby stopped at 12/13 weeks - scan was at 15 weeks) and another in last year (baby stopped at 5 weeks, scan was at 11 weeks).

becklespeckle · 21/04/2007 12:42

Not brave enough to join the due in Dec threads yet!

becklespeckle · 21/04/2007 12:43

Ooh, just read back a bit - Happy Birthday Furrymummy! Lucky you for getting a clarinet! I have one but am really terrible at playing it! Hows it going?

ejt1764 · 21/04/2007 17:09

Well, it's been busy on here - and in the best possible way!!

pinkranger - absolutely made up for you about your scan!

ejb - so pleased for you - I can only begon to imagine the relief you've felt.

becklespeckle - welcome to the paranoid knicker watchers club ... the only place you can talk about wierd pregnancy knicker habits (what have I started?) ... and about all the things that would totally gross out your other half! Here's hoping that this pg is boring and uneventful!

Mumpbump - glad you're feeling more positive ... still thinking about you.

furrymummy - enjoy your holiday!

Apologies for cross posting, but this upset me ...
Well, I went into school this afternoon to do the handover - it was lovely to be in and I'm looking forward to being back in work next week. I went in to see the 'lovely' deputy head (she of making me feel guilty because the supply teacher covering for me had had a family emergency and wasn't there ...) Conversation went as follows:

me: Hi _
dephead: hi. Have you got your note?
me: yes it's in my diary in the staff room - do you need it, or should I give it to AB? (admin lady)
dephead: I need it. So, how are you?
me: ok - still puking first thing, so it's wise not to ask me anything first thing, as I'm not at my best.
dephead: it's not going to have an effect on your attendance, is it?
me: no, I hope not.
dephead: good. and the blood pressure?
me: still dropping like a stone unexpectedly. there's nothing I can do about it.
dephead: and what effect will that have on your attendance?
me: hopefully none.
dephead: well. I have to tell you that there's bad feeling amongst the staff because you went to Dubai during the Easter break, while you were on sick leave. Did you know?
me: no, I had no idea. Can you tell me who feels like that?
dephead: I can't do that, but I have to tell you that most of the staff feel aggrieved.
me (getting a bit upset): well, I booked it last August - my travel insurance wouldn't let me cancel as the docsaid I was ok to travel.
dephead: well it waasn't a terribly good idea to go, was it?
me: speechless.
dephead: well, if that's all, I have to see someone else now - make sure you're in first thing Monday morning.
me: ok. bye

now, I didn't expect her to jump over the desk and give me a hug or anything, but what you can't get from that was her tone of voice... I went and spoke to a couple of my (closest) colleagues - and they've heard no rumblings at all - they think that someone has gone in and done a bit of bitching. I was really upset - it makes me wonder why I'm bothering to go back in.

I'm going to write my official letter now to hand in on Monday morning informing them of my pregnancy - and requesting an urgent H&S risk assessment ... I feel like I need to cover my back!

Why on earth am I going back when I'm still being very sick? Because my students have got exams coming up and I feel a sense of responsibility to them ....

Sorry, just needed to offload.

Eaglebird · 21/04/2007 17:39

Colleagues - who'd have 'em?!
Ejt, your true friends won't have been bitching about you going away whilst on sick leave, so it's likely some horrible colleague(s) or the deputy head herself who is saying such bitchy things.
If I could be bothered to, I'd send a broadcast e-mail to everyone at work, saying that the deputy head has told you about bad feeling, and then explain why you went, just as you have done in your post. Or write a message and put it on the notice board.
Or if you're feeling generous, just ignore what the deputy head said about the bad feeling. What you do or don't do when you're on sick leave is nothing to do with your colleagues.

Furrymummy · 21/04/2007 17:48

EJT - that was outrageous, smacks of bullying on your Deputy Head's part. Don't let it get you down!

Becklespeckle - you are not alone, I'm staying right here...

I made a sound, I need lots of practice though

Fingernails · 21/04/2007 18:12

Second the outrageousness - sounds like she didn't think it was a very good idea. To be honest I'd consider either writing to her or writing down and telling her (so you don't lose the plot and start weeping helplessly, not that that's what I'd be doing were I not signed off sick with stress from my horrorshow of a workplace) to say that you are very worried about the comments she made about colleagues and that whilst you appreciate that she won't tell you who they are, you want her on your behalf to ensure that they know that you took the holiday because you had the medical ok. And let you know when she's done it.
Cow.
Sorry, I just get really really cross with this type of passive-agressive bullshi*t.
And while I'm on the subject, Furry, I'm also desperately hoping that things aren't going wrong while I'm blithely assuming I'm pregnant and not being at work is a complete godsend. I just went to the dr after a situation at work became unbearable, did the aforementioned helpless weeping and got signed off for a fortnight. My sofa rocks.
Ok rants over.. sorry!
hope everyone has a good weekend x

Daisybump · 22/04/2007 09:58

ejt...as a woman she should know better about dealing with pg colleagues (I'm sure she's come across some before). It's none of her business really whether it will or won't have a continued effect on your attendance/work...that's between you and your GP.....Is there someone else you can talk to....i.e. the head, or the Education Department......or even your union rep. There are laws about this sort of thing and she can't be allowed to bully you in this way. Hope you get things resolved....the risk assessment is def. the way forward as well. Keep us posted on how it goes. (((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))) to you.

hotchoc · 22/04/2007 10:19

morning all, here for to let it all out iykwim. everything with the pg is going fine, got the gp appointment tomorrow and i hope she will refer me for a dating scan. the truth is that i just do not have the same excitement and anticipation this time as i had when i went on to m/c. i am so anxious that something will go wrong that it is spoiling the experience. the m/c happened at 9 weeks so i wish that time would go fast and that landmark would be over. is this how you felt? i am even, dare i say, questioning whether another baby is good idea and for that i feel so guilty and appauled. i have a 7 and a 5 year old so there will be a huge age gap. last time i was pg this did not bother me at all, i am feeling really negative as you can tell.

glad i have let off steam. i really wanted to become pg again by the way, just having a bad morning.

thanks for being there
hotchoc
egt,give me that deputy head, i could give her what for brilliantly at the moment!!!!!

Furrymummy · 22/04/2007 10:33

Poor you hotchoc! I think I can safely day that everyone here has had the same anxieties, you are not alone.

BTW I managed to play (badly!) Au Clair de la Lune on my clarinet! Result!

firststar · 22/04/2007 11:47

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Daisybump · 22/04/2007 17:29

Exciting, Firstar hmmmmm not the first word that spring to mind...more like bloody terrifying. all the ladies on the April thread have been taking raspberry leaf tea and some of heir birhts have been very very speeedy indeed....so off to get some next week as you can start it from around 36 weeks....

Hotchoc.....don't worry, we've all been through that. I couldn't get excited about this pg until after about 14 weeks and I still have my doubts about it, even though I look like I've swallowed a watermelon and it's definatley something bigger than indigestion going on in there. Take it easy and feel free to vent and mither on here if it helps

PurpleLostPrincess · 22/04/2007 18:55

Hello all,

I've finally reached 18+1 and can't believe I've got this far!!! I sooo remember those first few weeks and how awful they were. I'm still not feeling on top of the world but hopefully the 'blooming' stage will come soon.

I went to get some maternity clothes in town today and on the way in the car, it suddenly hit me that I'd not felt baby move so far and I wondered if I should go back home. What if I buy clothes and everything goes wrong etc. However, when I was paying for a couple of tops, I'm sure I felt baby giving a kick which was very reassuring to say the least! Even this far along, I'm having very insecure days! At least I'll be going to work tomorrow looking half decent as I was starting to get embarassed about the clothes I was wearing...

Take care all xx

PurpleLostPrincess · 22/04/2007 19:09

Ooooohh, forgot to say, there's a show on TV, not sure if its new or not but I found it really interesting and encouraging. It's called "Extreme Pregnancy" and it's on Discovery Home & Health (we've got Sky, not sure about cable).

They've had a couple who went through 7 m/c's and found out it was because they had a hobby working with stained glass windows and lead; another lady who had her falopian tubes removed following an ectopic but still went on to have a baby naturally and another lady who used a surrogate but then went on to conceive naturally and ended becoming a surrogate.

Interesting watching!

ejt1764 · 22/04/2007 19:57

Evening all - happy Sunday!

Thank you for all your supportive comments - I really, really appreciate them! I was really stewing on this and was wondering if it was just me being pg and extra hormonal (typo just gave me hor moan al !) This woman is not known for her sensitivity at the best of times: I think I will just ignore her comments - while logging them (on this thread!) - and if it carries on, I shall make a formal complaint about her (just before I go off on maternity leave ) Thank you ladies for restoring my sanity! Think of me tomorrow ...

hotchoc - what you are feeling is totally normal - I think we've all been there - we're putting ourselves through the wringer that is pg after mc, and we wouldn't be human if we didn't have worries and doubts. What's nice about this thread is that there are women on here at all stages of pregnancy, and we've all been where you are now. Somebody (I don't remember who) said much the same thing to me when I first started posting on here - and hopefully you will do the same thing for somebidy else later on.

Right, am now off to sort out stuff for school tomorrow - will have a shower tonight (don't fancy puking in the shower in the morning - have done it once, it's not pretty!), sort out lunch, and put my clothes out. My lessons are all prepped as much as they can be ...

Good night all, Nos Da!

becklespeckle · 22/04/2007 22:55

Hi guys, IKWYM Hotchoc about not getting excited about the pg, I am just over 4 weeks I think and with no symptoms (other than thrush and sore boobs) I am worrying loads. I had a fall the other night before I knew so that is worrying me too. I know I am being daft, with my DS's I had no symptoms until about 8-9 weeks (when the nausea kicks in) but still, I worry. I also worry about the age gap with my other 2, they are 6.10 and 4.3 - if I had not m/c there would have been a much smaller gap as baby would be 3 months now!

becklespeckle · 23/04/2007 09:41

Morning, hope everyone okay! I just read last night's post back - I sound so miserable! I am (of course) absolutely over the moon to be pg again! Just scared too. I don't remember being this scared after my 1st m/c (before DSs) even though I m/c later. Roll on the nausea!

hotchoc · 23/04/2007 10:23

thanks for all the positivity, not quite so misreable today!!

went to gp this morning and she is going to arrange a scan for early next week. i could have had one sooner but we decided it would make me feel even worse if they could not see enough for a definite date or whatever.
i just blubbed the minute i got in to see doc, in the waiting room there was a report on cancer care in the area, my mum has lung cancer and is being treated at the moment, the stats showed only 20% survived 2 years, got me in a right state!!! her prognosis is fairly positive so need to keep that stat out of my head. it has gone now i have typed it out i hope.

i'll stop the waffle now, have a good day everyone

xhotchox

becklespeckle · 23/04/2007 10:39

Oh hotchoc! How awful for you with your Mum having cancer. If your Mum has been given good prognosis then keep thinking of that and not the stats on a poster - think positive, there is a good chance she is one of the 20%! Glad you got your scan booked too - I am going to ask for an early one but am worried about going too early and them not being able to see much, especially as from my LMP I would be 5 weeks pg but I am sure I didn't ov until CD19 which would make me 4+3. Do you think I should tell doc that tomorrow?

becklespeckle · 23/04/2007 10:40

4+2 even - I can't count!

hotchoc · 23/04/2007 10:44

i would tell doc, and wait another couple of weeks, i figured it was better to know for sure that keep having to have scans and worry inbetween. feel better i have actually got the ball rolling as it were.

good luck tomorrow

hotchocx

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