Pregnancy after mc - part 5 the support we need - luck to all

[firststar]

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i am so sorry to hear your news take care of yourself xxx

Hi Taichi

So sad for you hun I had two in a row too. It sucks and does feel like forever with all the waiting trying and disappointment.

I have lost three all at 7 weeks too, i think all the major organs are forming then, so it is a critical stage.

I hope not to confuse or upset you, but since you are bleeding already have you thought to have natural m/c or is this what happened last time and it ended up being emergency? I only say this after my Ob. told me some of the dangers and because of D4ph's problems post ERPC, you can always have a scan a week later to check all is ok post natural m/c too.

Best wishes hun, my thoughts are with you.

Oh Taichimum, I am so sorry! It isn't fair, is it? I personally don't find it consoling to fall into the statistically unlikely event
(mine was 1/1000000). It is still you and you wanted that little being so much! It just isn't fair and is was never meant to be. Sorry, but I am really so incredibly sorry for you.

Just a quick one to say how sorry I am, Taichimum, to hear your news. It did cross my mind when I told people about the positive early scan that it could still go disastrously wrong and my family seem to have taken the positive scan as 100% confirmation that everything will be okay. I guess it is a real double-edged sword. Anyway, I hope that your ERPC is trouble-free and that you make a speedy recovery...

So sorry Taichi . Look after yourself. It's heartbreaking to read this sad news.

Fingers crossed for everyone else who is at this uncertain stage.

Taichi....oh sweetheart, there's nothing I can really say at this point...I'm so sorry. So, so sorry.
It is just too awful and so unfair to have to go through this twice.
xxxxxxxxxx

Thanks for all your messages guys. Uki I am nervous about have another ERPC but my natural miscarriage last time was so dramatic, very large clots etc and the blood loss so huge going through a huge pad every five minutes that after two hours I had lost a dangerous amount of blood and was starting to feel very odd. By the time I got to A &E I was already almost passing out. Then I did pass out on the way to theatre apparently although I was not aware of what was going on

I realise that this baby is smaller and it might be very insignificant mc by comparison, but I don't feel I can take the risk. I can't bear any more waiting either. I just want it over with. On the scan yesturday everything was still there, so the bleeding I am having at the moment is from my tissue. I think thats why it is manageable and once the pg 'product' start to come out I would be in the same boat as last time.
Thank you for making me stop and think about whether I should have one though. It is good to at least contemplate the alternatives and you are right one should not do it lightly as there are risks.
Perhaps I it is best I do not know about D4ph's post ERPC probs though at this stage. UKI how pg are you now? I am sorry to hear about your lost three.

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Thnaks for posting back Taichi, it felt bad questioning you and didn't want to worry you. I have had one ERPC and two naturals and I know you really need to do what's best for yourself, Your last m/c sounded like mine almost-I was about to go to hospital as pain and bleeding was so bad but then lost sac and slowed down. I just wanted to die anyway so was quite happy to hop in my own bed and go to sleep. I just didn't want the whole hospital thing, so i guess that's why too.

Don't really want to tell you but hope to give you some hope. I am now 18 weeks, but still worry every day, but it is getting a bit easier now. just hope baby is healthy.

This site is great for support, no one in my RL really understands my worries.

hugs to you and family.

Taichi.....so so very for you and your DP and sorry this has happened again. I had two mc five months apart and felt awful but after a few months I was ready to try again. I hope you can get through the next few weeks and it will get better. I was similar in that I already had my DS.....this time has been stressful but the EPU and mumsnet have helped me through a very difficult time. All the best for the future

Taichimum, just wanted to tell you how sad I was at your news. I can't imagine how devastating it must be for you to have this happen twice in such a short time. Sending you a huge hug and hope you can recover quickly. Take care

Taichi - I'm so sorry to hear of your loss - I've been there too - 2 mc in a very short time - I spent most of 2006 either pregnant or recovering from mc.

Difficult as it seems right at this moment, you will come out of this terrible place, and you will feel stronger.

I'm thinking of you in hospital at the moment - I hope everything goes as uncomplicated as possible - and you recover well.

love and hugs to you and dh.

Hi Taichi,

This is Glimmer/D4phne. I am sorry if my negative experiences have introduced an element of doubt in ERPCs. I won't go in any details just now but I would really like to stress that the bad part about my experience was not so much what went wrong (which is a risk that I was informed of) but that afterwards the doctors didn't take me serious and dismissed me over and over instead of adressing why I was coming (no periods).
It seem to me that you strongly feel that an ERPC is the best option for you and this is why you definitely should go ahead with it. I think this is also the consensus in the medical world (in Germany you always get an ERPC even after a natural mc).
I am terribly sorry you have to go through this
and I wish you a lot of strength.

I need to tell you about the nightmare I had last night - and ask your advice:

... in the dream, I went for my dating scan, and they decided they had to admit me, and made me put a theatre gown on - they put a name bracelet on my wrist - and it didn't have my name on it - and nobody would listen to me when I told them they'd got it wrong. People kept coming up to me and telling me that I was next on the list for a C Section - and whenever I tried to say I was just there for a dating scan, I just got laughed at and told that I was being silly, that they knew best. I eventually managed to wake myself up - but that was it as far as sleep was concerned ... I just had to go downstairs, eat some cereal and try to rationalise my thoughts. I went back up to bed eventually, but had real problems getting back to sleep ... ds also had a bad dream, and I got into bed with him for a bit to calm him down - he went back to sleep quite quickly thankfully - but I feel like a zombie now!

I hope this isn't the start of the nightmares and flashbacks again - I had them during my last pg - it seems like the worst bits of all 3 previous pg have been rolled into one! Don't know whether to phone the counselling service yet, or whether I'm jumping the gun a bit ... I'll see what happens over the next few nights first!

love to all my fellow knicker checkers ... remember, and excess of lady lotion does not an emergency make! (Wish I could take my own advice!)

If I were you, ejt, I'd call the counselling services. It might take a while to get an appointment anyway and you've got enough on your plate (haven't we all?) without having to worry about nightmares. But I am of the school of thought that it is best to act early and head off potential problems where possible...

Feeling like cr*p today - only have myself to blame after the weekend. The skiing was great and we have blazing sun, but I got home at gone 23h last night, stayed up talking to dh who I hadn't seen for almost a week and ended up going to sleep at almost 01h. Plus dh didn't do any proper food shopping at the weekend so ds has no milk and no formula. Fortunately, dh has said he will go to the shops tonight to save me the trouble. Headachey and tired today and slightly worried about things following Taichimum's (and other's) news. Just proves that you can't ever really relax...

Anyway, enough of a moan - am sure I will be better tomorrow after a good night's sleep!

Had my nuchal scan today and was amazed to find that there is actually a baby in my tummy!!! As we sat in the waiting room, all the memories of the last few times I have had scans ran through my head and the fact that my body has lied to me before. I really didn't expect to have a positive outcome and so was very emotional afterwards! It's almost like the amazement of getting a BFP all over again - this is real!! (oh, and my dates were right afterall!)

Taichi, I really feel for you. I had a natural m/c first time but last time, I ended up having a blood transfusion and tonnes of morphene for the contractions inbetween the gas & air. I completely understand why you would want to avoid that happening again. I must admit, I do find myself wondering if I m/c this time, would I go for an ERPC again having had such a dramatic one last time and I'm sure I would. You have to go with whatever is best for you and only you know the answer to that. I love this site because people offer a voice of reason which helps us come to our conclusions with a bit more certainty. Everybody speaks with such love and care having had similar experiences.

Thank you mumsnet! xx

Glad your scan went well today, mine did too

Morning All

Purple and Mrs Fish- Glad your scans went well, fantastic news and well needed here!!!!!
How many weeks are you both now?

Mump-Nice to hear you had a good time away, so how many runs did you get in?

ejt- Sorry to hear about nightmare, I remember having a few horrible ones early on too, maybe it is a first trimester thing and all those raging hormones combined with excessive worry. I hope it passes, you'll move one to all the sexy dreams next

I'm 18 weeks today and feel like time is starting to fly now, weird have no idea where last week went?
I have big scan in two weeks so may get nervous again then, but feeling quite good atm.

Morning all!

Ejt - what Uki said reminds me that I got night terrors for the whole of the first trimester with ds. Think it must be to do with all those hormones. Maybe it will ease off in the second trimester...

Uki - lots and lots of runs - probably too many!! It's amazing how much harder it is when you're pg. I guess it's the effect of exercising at altitude as well... We went to a north facing ski area on the second day which was a bit more challenging and someone did make contact with me, but managed to brake sufficiently to avoid proper impact. Spent the rest of the time trying to see what the skiers behind me were doing as well as those in front!!

Princess - very pleased for you!! It is nice to have some good news after the sad events of the last few days on my antenatal thread... When are you due? Must be around the same time as me. (Sorry if you've already said, but haven't time to go through the whole thread and my pg brain is like a sponge - riddled with holes!!)

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Are you going to ask them what sex the baby is, firststar?

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Hi all,
Many thanks for all your lovely and helpful messages. This thread has been such a help to me in the last three months. I may post a bit on this thread in the next few days and then bow out gracefully. I hope to join you again soon, maybe in the summer.
Just to let you know I am fine after the ERPC although yesturday was crap. My appt in day surgery was at 12.30 but they made me wait until 4.10 to have it, which was awful. Nothing to eat or drink for since the crack of dawn, not even sure if I should go through with it, completely exhausted after three night with no sleep. I was all prepped and ready in my stupid gown for the whole time. The gyny doctor was busy until then apparently. I nearly left several times but I knew the mc had not even started yet and god knows what would happen when it did. Sheer exhaustion kept me lying there in the end.
Anyway, its done now. Fingers crossed I will have no complications. Glimmer I would like to know what happened to you if you don't mind telling, just so I know what to look out for.
I just wanted to say what a brave, caring honest and wonderful bunch of ladies you are. Thank you for sharing some difficult and some joyous times with great humour and dignity. Sincere luck and best wishes to you and your families and enjoy all those lovely babies that are on their way.

Taichimum I am so so sorry and know exactly how you must be feeling. I also can?t believe I missed this whilst you were going through it, I?m sorry. I know what you mean about scans that with hindsight gave us false hope, we feel the same though ours were never great news. So sorry they left you so long before the op that is so insensitive, I know resources are stretched but surely they could have attended to you sooner. If you ever need to chat, come and see us on this thread