Pregnancy after mc - part 5 the support we need - luck to all

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Fanx firstar!

Well, I'm really not bothered about the outcome at all as I'm determined to have this baby but my dh feels very differently - he told me if it shows up as high risk, he will want to abort. I can't bear the thought of that! No offence to anybody else (and I really mean that!) but I personally don't agree with abortion. I've decided not to get all worried about what he said and just focus on seeing baby. Maybe its just self preservation but I'm kind of ignoring what he said...

How awful that different things are available in different areas! Would you have preferred it to be an option for you?

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Jules...sorry I missed you last night, I'd not long logged off. hope you are OK sweets, and keep us posted. Take Care
Purple...I hope you get a good result from the nuchal fold scan. I'm sure your DP would feel very differently if he was actually faced with that sort of decision. We didn't even go down the testing route as after 2 m/c I couldn't face the thought of not having this baby, so have buried my head in the sand and am opting for the 'ignorance is bliss' approach. We'll just take what we get and deal with whatever is thrown our way.
Have a good weekend one and all

Hi all,

Been off this thread for a week so took ages to read through it all.

Does anyone know how Mrsmcjr's scan went on Wednesday - she has not posted in a while.

Jules, so so sorry for your loss.

Hi herbaceous - can't believe what you've been through. Fingers crossed this time.

Congrats to everyone who's had good scans. I had an early private scan on Monday and heard hb which was amazing. Just keeping everything crossed though as last time the mc happened at 10 wks. Feeling very tired and occaisionally nauseous which I amtaking as a goos sign.

Must check in more often so I can keep up!

D4phne/Glimmer - congratulations. I thought you weren't going to be able TTC for a while. Great news - so hope that the bleeding was just implantation - look after yourself!

Hillbilly - MrsMc had some bad news today, she's posted on the waiting for news/scan etc thread, not good at doing links, I'm afraid.

hope everyone else is doing ok - I'm sitting here in floods, as I read how brave MrsMc is being. For some reason because we found out on the same day we were pg, I feel a bit connected to her pg and this has shaken me up more than I thought it would. Strange this MN-link, as I obviously don't really know her.

anyway, going to go and get a hug from DH.

take care all
x

hello all,

have just been overwhelmed reading the outcome of the 'Pray this little one hangs on..' thread and then MrsMc's sad news, overwhelmed with so many feelings - but mainly admiration at how great and brave, amazingly brave you all are, and how grateful I am to have found you all. Since late last April when I miscarried, it has been frightening and sad but ultimately a time when I have been able to learn a lot, mainly because of your compassion and openness.

I really feel I've run out of words right now, so will take a break from MN, but will always remember all the good women on this thread in my thoughts and wish you all the luck in the world. I hope I'll be checking out the threads now and again soon and will look forward to good news for you all. Feel free to CAT (?) me if you want to, or indeed, anyone in Hackney/North London, I'd be glad to meet in RL even.

Wishing you all courage, and peace of mind, for your journey, and again with my heartfelt thanks for accompanying me on mine

Time4tea XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

T4T - you take care - come back to us soon ...

Feeling very sad about MrsMc today ...

Glimmer / d4phne - glad to see you've been able to 'come out' ... don't know anything about implantation bleeds sorry ...

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Hi all. Been away for a few days. I have not caught up with all your posts yet but heard about Mrs M. Poor thing. Glimmer looks hopeful for you. Best wishes to Jules thinking of you. Will read all post properly when I have stopped panicking.

I starting spotting last night after sex. None so far this morning. Had a heartbeat on my scan at 7 weeks and now 10 weeks so it hopefully is nothing. However my last pg ended at 11 weeks babe died approx a week before, so must have had heartbeat. Feel sick with fear that it is happening again. I am mean't to be starting a new job this afternoon as well. I am so fed up with all the pg stress. Are we never allowed to relax about it?
Should I call a medical someone or wait and see if I bleed again? Shall I go to my new job? Help.

Thanks Jules - am around and not doing to good. I did go to work and no bleeding there but started bleeding on way home. Now bleeding a lot, like a period and have some pains. Feels uncomfortable to sit too.
Statistically it is unlikely to be a m/c but it bl**dy well looks like one to me. My friend is taking me to the EPU first thing tom.
Keeping everything crossed. This pg game is just awful isn't it. My DS won't cuddle me coz he thinks I have gone mad because I keep crying

Oh Taichi

How horrible, Hope all is ok. Sending you lots and lots of luck. Best wishes hun.

Taichimum,
I am sorry. I am hope today you are better and are being seen at the EPAU. Let us know how you are doing.

Oh Taichi -- so very sorry to hear about your bleeding. I hope you find somewhere the strength to face the uncertainty right now. Hope things will turn out well. Let us know!

Fettle -- yes, the plan was not TTC for three months (which is when DH will move here!) but then we changed our mind in the spur of the moment in case it would take some time until I fall pg. Well, it didn't :-)

Am on a rollercoaster with bleding off and on. Sometimes very hopeful, then again very sure to loose it.

Have come away from last years events with post-traumatic-stress-syndrome, but I am in treatment for it. I think I found a good counsellor this time and I have composed two letters of complaint to the NHS about my treatment. The counsellor is appaled by what happened to me and backs me up, which feels very good. It's mostly about sending the letters, I do not expect anything back rather than a formal letter.

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Hi Taichi - I hope things go well for you today at the hospital. I've been so frightened to have sex as it was afterwards last pg that I started bleeding. Different for everyone I'm sure though and really hope that it's all ok for you.

Thinking about you Taichi and hope things are OK this time. Much((((((hugs)))))))

Taichi - do hope that things go well today, i know i bleed last time after sex with ds ( everything was fine) and well this time round my poor poor poor dh hasnt had it for, well since we concived so 16 week!

Hope everyone is well.

It was my edd yesterday of the one we lost and it wasnt as pianful as i thought, had a really nice day with Dh and ds and just got on and did 'housey stuff', did plant some lillys in a pot so when this one comes along he can meet his other brother/sister that way as they bloom in August

T4t, - we will miss you, take care and njoy your family

Taichi - Hope all is well with you today xx

I have my scan tomorrow afternoon, I am feeling a lot more positive about it all than I was a month ago, My appetite has grown considerably and so has my waist

Taichi - thinking of you.

As for sex - well, we're not having as much as when we were actively ttc, but we were having more than average then! The problem is very much that mornings are a complete no go area ... and by evening time, I'm usually in bed at a silly hour, and we just don't coincide!

Never mind - I'm sure we'll get back to normal eventually!

After I had the 1st mc, when I'd had spotting after sex, then we didn't dare have sex during my last pg - but as I had a blighted ovum, then there was nothing I could do! I've talked to the midwife about it - who said that my first mc was probably also a bighted ovum - but one that made itself known earlier - and that the spotting had nothing to do with sex - so we were to go for it - her exact words were: 'if you fancy a bit of nooky, go for it - well, that's if you feel up to it of course' ... made me giggle that I'd known the woman for all of an hour and here I was discussing my sex life!

Not a good day for me today - I've had a set-to with my bank, and have made the decision to change banks. For the 3rd time, they've not paid a money transfer I'd set up to my childminder, and as ds is her only full-time mindee, then she hadn't had the major source of income ... which led to her getting letters from her bank etc. The bank were completely unapologetic - and I've had a guts full ....

There goes my credit rating!

All this made me shaky and emotional - and to top it all, dh goes away early Wednesday morning for work and won't be back until late Friday night - I can hardly move in the mornings at the moment - let alone sort out ds ... not looking forward to it at all!

Hi All

How we all doing?

Sorry to hear you have had a bad day ejt.

Taichi - I hope it went ok today?

MrsFish - glad you feeling positive!

T4T - thanks for your lovely message, we will certainly miss you

Glimmer - hope all well with you still

Rubles - how you doing? Haven't heard from you in a while (although I can't talk, not nearly as often on here as before!)

Sorry, not mentioned everyone - have to go cook DH's supper!!

I'm starting to panic about my scan a week on Friday - I know there is no reason to be concerned, but i just don't feel as sick as I did with DD, but then every pg is different. Boobs are still big, not as sore, but still aware of them at night. tummy definitely growing and my appetite increasing, so hopefully all good signs and i'm still exhausted. But even so, I'm not sure how I'll cope with a 3rd mc. I know many many people do and go on to have healthy babies, and I'm very lucky as I have a beautiful DD already, but it's been a tough 14 months on the TTC front.

Anyway, sorry to off-load this onto you all - I hope you all understand.

On the sex front, poor DH hasn't had it for nearly 11 weeks now (since I conceived!) - just too scared to risk anything this time around, although I know that sex isn't going to affect anything!

Take care all
xxx

Thanks for all your messages. It really helps to know you are out there and understand. I'm afraid it is bad news for me.
Scan should have showed a ten week old baby with arms and legs floating around but instead showed tiny baby 9.3 mm with no heartbeat and no blood supply. It was 9.1 mm at the 7 week scan when it looked normal with a heartbeat, so the cruel truth is it died a couple of days after that scan three weeks ago.
The doctor who gave me a 97% chance at the last scan came in to see me and said lots of lovely things about how sorry she was that she was wrong and next time she would monitor me closely and they would scan me every week if I wanted. She also said because I have had one healthy pg and DS at the end of it there is nothing to indicate there is anything wrong despite having two mc in a row. She said it is just bad luck.
That early scan was a mistake looking back. I wish I had not had it as it gave Dh and I false hope. In my heart I remained neurotic though, as you all know from my posts so maybe I knew all along that it would go wrong anyway. Boobs no longer sore, not hungry all the time and not even that tired. The signs were there.
Going for an ERPC this afternoon. The good thing is last time my mc was very dramatic and traumatic with excessive blood loss, contractions and an emergency ERPC, just escaping a blood transfusion. I had to stay in overnight with a catheter and drip, endless fainting and then anemia afterwards.
This time the baby is still intact and still inside which feels grime in itself, but at least I can have the procedeure hopefully before it all kicks off properly. I am just bleeding like a period with no clots which I can deal with and fingers crossed I won't be ill afterwards like last time.
Fettle I don't know how you have had the strength to go through all this stress again after two mc. I really hope everything goes well for you as I can really imagine how nervous you must be.
Right now I am sick to death of the whole pg game. I have been pg or at least thinking I was from Sept -Nov 2006 and then Jan- March 2007 and for what? Nothing but heartache and stress Hopefully I will change my attitude in a few months and have the strength to try again although I just can't even imagine how neurotic I will be.
Sorry for such a long and depressing post. I wish the rest of you all the luck in the world with your pgs. Please don't worry those that have first and second scans coming up. My circumstances are rare. I was one of the unlucky 3%.

So, so sorry to hear this news, my thoughts are with you both during this difficult time {{{hugs}}} xx