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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Had booking in appointment - didn't go well

203 replies

Difficultyear2015 · 29/10/2016 10:15

I came off the pill in July and had a withdrawal bleed.

Didn't have any period since other than 1 day of light spotting 6 weeks later. I had taken a test a day before that which was negative.
I have PCOS so don't have typical cycles and have gone years without a period before.
I took a test beginning of October that was a strong positive.
I took the test because I had stopped fitting into my clothes and was feeling tired all the time and having weird dreams about being pregnant.

I went to doctors and explained I had no idea how far along I was. He weighed me and dismissed it and said he will refer me to midwife for booking in and I will hear from them soon.

So 3 weeks went by and I had heard nothing. I started calling around the doctors trying to get hold of the midwife team to see where my referral was, finally spoke to midwife who said it sounds like I'm a lot further along and will get me booked in asap and will get me a dating scan urgently.

3 days later I have my booking in appointment.
I explained all of the above to the midwife.
I was in there for hours. She was questioning why it had taken me so long to have a booking in appointment and I said it wasn't without trying.
She then asked my weight and height which I told her the figures that the doctor said in the appointment I had with him 3 weeks prior, and straight away she told me I was overweight as I had a bmi of 26 and started asking if I do exercise.
I explained that only 3 months ago I had an endocrinology appointment where I was weighed at 65k and was under 25bmi and explained I have put on weight to the point I can't fit into my clothes (poasibly vloayibg / water retention / baby further along etc.
She made me feel like I was telling lies and that I am just fat and trying to get an early scan.

She tried to book me in for a scan there and then but the hospital scan department she spoke to told her they would go off the date I took the positive pregnancy test meaning I may not hear back for a scan appointment until another 6-8 weeks time. At which point I started crying as I know I'm further along than that and not just fat and if I wait for that scan to come through I could well be 20 weeks or further.

She then asked why I wanted a scan anyway and that I should just enjoy being pregnant.
I explained I want to know that there's a heartbeat for a start and how do I know it's all ok.

Because I was crying she then said she would refer me to a special midwife team who deal with women with additional mental and emotional needs.

I don't think I'm abnormal, this is all just very stressful.

She went on to say that there were pregnant ladies who bleed and need urgent scans and people like me can't take up emergency appointments like that.
I explained I'm happy to get a private scan if that was the case and I don't want someone who has more of a need than me to miss out on a scan.

After all this when I went to leave she gave me a hug and told me to cheer up and have a chocolate bar.

I was so distraught after all this that I went back to work in tears, grabbed my laptop and went home in tears.

I just feel like I am just a fat person and it's all in my head.

Maybe I will find at a scan appointment in 8 weeks time that I'm only 12 weeks then, but what if I'm further?

I'm feeling so fed up. I'm waiting for the scan so I can tell people some happy news but instead I'm now having to continually avoid people as I have an obvious bump and don't want to tell people before I know it's all ok.

Is the midwife right? Am I just fat and neurotic?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Bravas · 01/11/2016 21:54

Great news, congratulations Flowers

HKHKHR · 01/11/2016 21:55

Congratulations Smile

NameChange30 · 01/11/2016 21:56

Congratulations! So glad all is going well so far Smile

My advice now is to contact the midwife team and make an appointment with a different midwife ASAP, explain that you now know your dates and need to get your 12 week scan booked ASAP. It's important that you get your 12 week scan within a certain window so you can have the screening tests if you want them.

ImAMoving · 01/11/2016 21:58

Congratulations!
I'd just phone up miswife team tomorrow and explain you thought you were more pregnant than they put you down as, and you now know you are 9 weeks and further than they put you so wanted to make sure your scans/tests were done at the right time. Keep it factual

BiscuitMillionaire · 01/11/2016 22:00

Lurker here, just to say I'm so glad you had good news - congrats! Flowers

AprilLudgateDwyer · 01/11/2016 22:04

Glad it was good news! :)

minniebear · 01/11/2016 22:05

I've been checking this thread, so pleased for you! Congratulations!

clumsyduck · 01/11/2016 22:06

Yay congratulations op!! Flowers

How frustrating though ! It's really not hard is it you don't have regular periods and therefore cannot pin point cycle exactly , you know your own body it's bad that mw made you feel like she did!!

helenatroy · 01/11/2016 22:09

Women's intuition at its best. Congratulations.

Difficultyear2015 · 01/11/2016 22:09

I'm very relieved and hopefully any appointment I have now will be pleasant as can be.

I am embarrassed at just how windy I must be 😆

OP posts:
Difficultyear2015 · 01/11/2016 22:11

It feels a lot more real now and very special to have a few little photos of our baby (despite it only being 2.5cm)

My sister just had her 20 week scan today so we have a nice gap between or arrivals ☺️

OP posts:
DartmoorDoughnut · 01/11/2016 22:15

Fantastic news and how lovely to have cousins so close together!

HelenaJustina · 01/11/2016 22:15

Congratulations!

OhTheRoses · 01/11/2016 22:20

Congratulations Grin. Yes, phone up tomorrow.

BeccaSays · 01/11/2016 22:25

That's great news, congratulations!

Didyoumeantobesorude1 · 01/11/2016 22:27

Great news, now you can relax and enjoy your pregnancy XX

MistressMolecules · 01/11/2016 22:29

Congratulations! Flowers

aforestgrewandgrew · 01/11/2016 23:05

Congratulations! Have you worked out your likely due date yet?

Blondeshavemorefun · 01/11/2016 23:17

Fab news and agree contact mw team and say you are 9w and. See to sort out 12w scan ASAP

I saw my mw at 8w and for scan date ASAP after that. Tho my mw is lovely

Or call hospital and ask to be out the to scan department and make own app

They should send you a letter with that date

OldBooks · 02/11/2016 01:06

Congratulations! Flowers must be such a good feeling to have seen your little baba!

LHilton4981 · 02/11/2016 07:14

Aww so pleased for you Smile big congratulations xxx

SoggyWetFlannel · 02/11/2016 10:20

Congratulations! Definitely ring your midwife team and tell then you've had a private dating scan, ask to be transferred to a different midwife for care as peace of mind for yourself. You need to be able to confide in your health support, not worry about how they will treat you. Personally, I would make a formal complaint, I wish I had been strong enough to do so with my first. Now you can 'just enjoy being pregnant' happy in the knowledge that everything is going smoothly.

bumblebee86 · 02/11/2016 11:14

Congratulations Flowers

Difficultyear2015 · 03/11/2016 08:10

Got home after work last night to the hospital scan appointment.
Booked for me mid December (and whilst I am on holiday) and I would be 15+6.

I have a 2 hour window on the form that I can call between to rearrange. At least I am in the system

OP posts:
NameChange30 · 03/11/2016 08:14

Glad you got your letter! Definitely call to rearrange. If you want the screening test your scan should be done between weeks 11 and 14 of pregnancy.