I left this thread because it was making me more anxious and upset than ever, and I just couldn't hack it at the time. TBH, I still haven't read through some of the replies, for fear of setting myself off again.
But for the benefit of those that contributed, and especially those that weren't just judgey, I thought I'd give an update as to how I'm getting on. Also, to help any other women that are in my situation.
The baby is due in 5 weeks time :-)
Since that awful first contact with maternity services, my experiences have been excellent, and people have been really supportive. I told my midwife my issues by telephone before I even met her, and she was, and continues to be amazing.
I cried through my first appointment, we didn't deal with bloods at that time, but I managed to have my blood pressure and weight checked (both things that I was very anxious about - even walking into the doctors set me off into a panic).
I've got a fantastic consultant, who has been supportive, and has referred me for several appointments with a antenatal pschologist, who has helped me to cope with medical situations better.
It turned out that I had a substantial chance (50-50) of having a blood clotting disorder which would mean twice daily injections throughout pregnancy or a reasonable chance of dropping dead! With the consultants support, I was able to have the blood tests for that, and my booking in bloods.
Thankfully, I didn't have the disorder (happy dance) but I am rhesus positive, and I also have had group B strep, so am supposed to have the drip in labour. I've had the rhesus jab, and they gave it to me as the one jab, rather than 2. I've also managed, with support, to have my 28 week bloods, and a (thankfully negative) GTT.
I've got an awful long way to go before I'm not in floods of tears before & during needles, but I've made a lot of progress, and have been able to cope with it.
Because of how panicky I am, and how I'm much better if I know whats going to happen, its been agreed that I'm having an elective section. I'm still not quite sure how I'm going to manage the giant needle (that I'm NEVER intending on seeing!!) or not have a panic attack whilst being sliced open whilst conscious, but they've got the option of putting me under if I panic too much, and I honestly find the idea much easier to cope with than labour, especially with it often being so long, and unpredicable.
I know there's other women out there, which have similar issues to me, and whilst I've still got the worry of the next month to go through, it can be done.
I'll update at some point in the future, as to how the final bit went. One thing's for sure, there's only three ways this pregnancy can end, naturally, section or dead, and I've got no intention of it being the latter, so as stressful as it is, I'll have to cope somehow. But I've coped so far, and that gives me faith that I'll manage the last bit.