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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Urgh, first contact with maternity services didn't go well :-(

193 replies

Blueskyrain · 25/10/2016 10:43

If anyone remembers my previous posts, I'm pregnant with my first (only 5 1/2 weeks), and very, very nervous. I've got a severe phobia of needles, and the prospect of pregnancy terrifies me. But I want it, so I'm trying to just get on with it. I don't have a GP as yet.

I saw on the midwife pages of my hospital that I could self refer, so I thought I'd get the ball rolling that way. Apparently, no I can't. I have to register with a GP first, and see my GP first. Some faff but ok.

I mentioned my needle phobia and that I'd need to speak to them, or see them first to work out some way of me being able to do the blood tests etc, and her response - we see a lot of women with issues with needles. They just get over it. You might need a lot of injections/bloods etc, and there's a lot worse to come with labour pain, so most woment just get over it.

Thanks.

Thanks a lot.

I'm now having a good cry and am in a complete panic about things. She didn't say it nastily, but she had all the tact of a block of stone, and has made me feel 10 times worse.

OP posts:
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Blueskyrain · 16/05/2017 19:27

I left this thread because it was making me more anxious and upset than ever, and I just couldn't hack it at the time. TBH, I still haven't read through some of the replies, for fear of setting myself off again.

But for the benefit of those that contributed, and especially those that weren't just judgey, I thought I'd give an update as to how I'm getting on. Also, to help any other women that are in my situation.

The baby is due in 5 weeks time :-)

Since that awful first contact with maternity services, my experiences have been excellent, and people have been really supportive. I told my midwife my issues by telephone before I even met her, and she was, and continues to be amazing.

I cried through my first appointment, we didn't deal with bloods at that time, but I managed to have my blood pressure and weight checked (both things that I was very anxious about - even walking into the doctors set me off into a panic).

I've got a fantastic consultant, who has been supportive, and has referred me for several appointments with a antenatal pschologist, who has helped me to cope with medical situations better.

It turned out that I had a substantial chance (50-50) of having a blood clotting disorder which would mean twice daily injections throughout pregnancy or a reasonable chance of dropping dead! With the consultants support, I was able to have the blood tests for that, and my booking in bloods.

Thankfully, I didn't have the disorder (happy dance) but I am rhesus positive, and I also have had group B strep, so am supposed to have the drip in labour. I've had the rhesus jab, and they gave it to me as the one jab, rather than 2. I've also managed, with support, to have my 28 week bloods, and a (thankfully negative) GTT.

I've got an awful long way to go before I'm not in floods of tears before & during needles, but I've made a lot of progress, and have been able to cope with it.

Because of how panicky I am, and how I'm much better if I know whats going to happen, its been agreed that I'm having an elective section. I'm still not quite sure how I'm going to manage the giant needle (that I'm NEVER intending on seeing!!) or not have a panic attack whilst being sliced open whilst conscious, but they've got the option of putting me under if I panic too much, and I honestly find the idea much easier to cope with than labour, especially with it often being so long, and unpredicable.

I know there's other women out there, which have similar issues to me, and whilst I've still got the worry of the next month to go through, it can be done.

I'll update at some point in the future, as to how the final bit went. One thing's for sure, there's only three ways this pregnancy can end, naturally, section or dead, and I've got no intention of it being the latter, so as stressful as it is, I'll have to cope somehow. But I've coped so far, and that gives me faith that I'll manage the last bit.

OP posts:
eerry · 16/05/2017 20:25

We'll done op! Phobias are bloody horrible. I have a phobia of vomiting and went on to have two hyperemesis pregnancies Confused

As everyone said at the beginning of this thread, you just have to get on with it really, which you have! So good for you.

BubbleBed · 16/05/2017 20:36

Well done OP!

I've had two sections and I can honestly hand on heart say I have never ever seen the epidural needle. I also didn't feel it thanks to numbing. And that's truthful.

I did have a panic attack in my second section. And the staff were incredible. So rest assured you will not be the first, and they are all trained and caring.

Good luck!

melonribena · 16/05/2017 21:24

Well done op! You deserve to be very proud of yourself. What a role model for your new baby. Enjoy these last few weeks of pregnancy and try to take it easy

daisydog2015 · 17/05/2017 17:26

To OP I'm really pleased you've managed to get so far! I myself have been just as bad as you and have got 3 weeks until baby arrives.
I literally throw up and nearly faint every time at the midwife apps esp when blood is involved and I actually declined the GTT test because I genuinely think I could not cope with that.
I suffer with anxiety issues anyway with I take medication for and I put off being pregnant for a few years with my husband because I was so terrified of the process and birth, but like everyone kept telling me once I decide I want a baby then I will just put up with it.
Had to go to hospital the other night as baby movements were reduced that day and trust me it took me a long time to work myself up to ring them and go and see them - it ended up being 2am! I was shaking like a leaf but I was so proud of myself that I didn't throw up and didn't pass out and it turned out baby was fine which really relieved me.
I'm hoping to have an easy ish natural birth as I really don't think I could cope with a c section - they would genuinely have to knock me out. I'm just hoping that once it comes to it the pain will prevent me from panicking too much as I will be too absorbed in that (but I will wait and see on that point!)

Please update us when your baby has arrived on how it went and how you are - would love to know.

Good luck!
From one scared mummy to be to another Star

Blueskyrain · 21/06/2017 15:56

I'll update properly when I have use of both hands, but just a quick update to say that I'm now sat with a very loved baby in my arms and cannot stop grinning.

I did it, and she's so completely worth it.

OP posts:
Applesandpears23 · 21/06/2017 16:15

Congratulations!

2bluestars · 21/06/2017 19:30

What a lovely update, massive congrats!

Squishedstrawberry4 · 21/06/2017 19:36

I desensitised. I've no plans ne'er got a fear. Got bit better with each of my four children. It's not always the case that people desensitise but for many it's normal

Squishedstrawberry4 · 21/06/2017 19:37

I've got completely over my fear

Ask for a numbing cream. Also hypnotism

PotteringAlong · 21/06/2017 19:40
Flowers
FoxesSitOnBoxes · 21/06/2017 19:47

What a lovely thread!
Prizes to OP for excellent updating skills (and obviously on overcoming her fears and having a lovely baby)

NurseP · 22/06/2017 20:24

Well done blue! I followed this thread and agree that 'get over it' is never going to help- nobody wants t feel frightened and overwhelmed! Enjoy your baby!!!

TeddyIsaHe · 22/06/2017 20:43

Congratulations! What a lovely update, well done you op. You should be incredibly proud of yourself Flowers

Itsuckstobegreen · 07/01/2020 20:53

Well it took me over 2 years to get round to remembering and updating this.

I have now got two beautiful children, and may seek to have a third in the future. I had very positive experiences of maternity services overall, and 2 very good sections.

I am still severely needlephobic and tokophobic but I have a protocol in place which helped me cope. I'm glad that I was able to have children as they've been the greatest joy of my life and I'm absolutely loving parenthood. Without support over needles and childbirth, I would have never got this far.

I still think some of you guys were too harsh, and it increasedy anxiety rather than helping to manage it, but I also understand why.

I'm updating this mostly so that if someone else comes along like me, they can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and know that the doctors and midwives in the UK are great at taking this sort of thing seriously and will help you as much as you can. And that it's worth it.

Itsuckstobegreen · 07/01/2020 20:53

Ps, I've name changed, but am the op.

Sushirolls · 08/01/2020 03:14

@Blueskyrain my DD is extremely needle phobic and had no bloods at all with DGS1 in 2018, until in the throes of labour where they managed to get a canula in. We then discovered that she's Rhes - & DGS1 is Rhes + Sad but she was unable to tolerate having Anti D after, as she was no longer in labour.

She is now coming up 35 weeks with DGS2 and she's just recently managed them by going into the hospital and having gas & air. She's still petrified, but it just takes the edge off enough for her to cope.

Please ask your mw/hospital about this. It's been a total life changer for my DD

Congratulations on your pregnancy & good luck Flowers

Sushirolls · 08/01/2020 03:16

AHH! I only saw your first post and didn't realise it was an old thread. I'm pleased to hear that you have your lovely DC Flowers I think anyone who doesn't have this phobia, just cannot "get it".

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