Urgh, first contact with maternity services didn't go well :-(

[Blueskyrain]

If anyone remembers my previous posts, I'm pregnant with my first (only 5 1/2 weeks), and very, very nervous. I've got a severe phobia of needles, and the prospect of pregnancy terrifies me. But I want it, so I'm trying to just get on with it. I don't have a GP as yet.

I saw on the midwife pages of my hospital that I could self refer, so I thought I'd get the ball rolling that way. Apparently, no I can't. I have to register with a GP first, and see my GP first. Some faff but ok.

I mentioned my needle phobia and that I'd need to speak to them, or see them first to work out some way of me being able to do the blood tests etc, and her response - we see a lot of women with issues with needles. They just get over it. You might need a lot of injections/bloods etc, and there's a lot worse to come with labour pain, so most woment just get over it.

Thanks.

Thanks a lot.

I'm now having a good cry and am in a complete panic about things. She didn't say it nastily, but she had all the tact of a block of stone, and has made me feel 10 times worse.

Attitudes on this thread are horrendous. The midwife or GP in question is there to care for the OP first and foremost and MUST take her feelings seriously.

OP, there is not a single injection you HAVE to have; it is up to you. When you have your booking in appointment, ask how women with. needle phobia are usually supported. Explain that you were made to feel extremely anxious by the attitude of the other HCP and you need to understand how the midwife will approach this with you.

Say no if you want to say no. Obviously you will need to understand the risk involved.

HeteronormativeHaybales Thanks!

I don't know if my fiance and I will try for children again as it truly felt that I was a total freak and felt the complete opposite to what 'normal' Mothers-to-be felt like. However I do believe that support from caring GP's, Midwives and my counsellor have all been very positive experiences and it's 'proved' to me that despite the horrible event in my childhood - Not all medical professionals are unsympathetic or uncaring and if we do try again, I'll be far more prepared and try and be proactive if I feel my mental health slipping

Say no if you want to say no
Why are you trying to encourage the OP to just give in and not bother to try and deal with this phobia?

I don't understand if your phobia is so so great and you haven't sought treatment for it why on earth you got pregnant before you've had some sort of therapy. To be honest it was a selfish thing to do when you don't know if you'll need injections or blood tests that could help save your baby's life. how are you going to deal with the baby's vaccinations?! Maybe I'm being mean as I don't have this phobia but it's slightly ridiculous. It's a sharp scratch at best. Labour and giving birth is much more traumatic and painful!

Oh piss off, Persian. I am telling the OP what anyone with respect for her autonomy would tell her: seek support, but it is ultimately your choice.

I am absolutely disgusted by the bashing handed out to someone who is obviously distressed and in need of factual information about help available that is in evidence here.

Trifle but to say there's no injection you have to have simply isn't true- you really aren't helping the OP by making out that it's that simple! There are so many variables and complications - she might require a GA or a CS, you can't possibly guarantee that she can have a needle free pregnancy so how on earth does it help to tell her that?!

Say no if you want to say no

It's not always as easy as that. In my last pregnancy I had HG and needed fluids on more than one occasion. I can't imagine how poorly I would have been if I didn't get it. Later in the pregnancy I needed an iron infusion. I needed a c section as the baby was breach. I then had a big bleed and they needed to rush fluids into me quickly, I then needed a blood transfusion.

That is ignoring the routine bloods, the extra tests for anaemia, the flu jab, whooping cough jab, clexane and probably more I have forgotten.

What would have happened if I said no to the fluids? (Both, from the hyperemesis and the bleed).

No one is bashing her

Lots of kind people have been honest about their own struggles with similar Phobias

Lost more people have encouraged her to get help

Yes it's her choice . But if she goes into premature labour, they will offer her steroids for the baby's lungs . Her husband will be begging her to agree for their baby's sake. The HCP will be warning her of the risks of not having it. Will you be there , telling her " just say no " ?

It's not that easy when you have two sets of conflicting rights - the Op and her baby.

She doesn't HAVE to have any medical treatment at all. I am absolutely correct in my statement. The HCP treating her should explain the risks of refusal but it is her decision at the end of the day.

OP, I am sure you only want what is best for you and your baby. Go to your appointment and explain that you need support with this. They will help you. If they don't, complain to the lead midwife and get someone else.

Jesus.

They won't sedate you during pregnancy in a million years. It's something you are going to have to find a way to deal with. I am currently pregnant and sticking myself with a small needle 5 times a day to measure blood glucose - not pleasant but it's for the best. I think 1 in 5 women get gestational diabetes so it's worth trying to find a way of tackling this now to avoid bigger problems down the line.

Try CBT and hypnotherapy as suggested upthread. My DH is needle phobic (and a doctor!) so I do sympathize.

Kristina: Fuck off with your horrible emotional blackmail scenario. The OP needs help to deal with her phobia. She does not need you outlining her husband 'begging' her to do X, Y or Z. Her body, her choice.

Sorry to be harsh but you really need to stop over thinking it you really are making yourself worse, trust me I know I am currently pregnant with SC and had a severe phobia of needles to the point where every time I got my blood taken I passed out not once but twice and also fell off the chair. It's something you you just have to get over and overthinking is the worst. After the first couple of times it gets easier and you learn how to control it and make sure and let them know if you a fainter like me. Try some hypno the bigger picture is your health and your baby. Wish u well

God, I need to get off this thread before my blood pressure starts shooting up!

OP, you came seeking advice and got some very nasty comments in return, along with a small amount of decent insight. Try not to panic. Go to your midwife and explain how severely you are affected by this. Ask for the help you need.

Good luck

TheCuriousOwl offered some great practical advice for you OP if you don't fancy reading all responses discussing your phobia/what it will be like etc.

FluffyPersian, you rock. :)

To those bashing the more 'unsympathetic' ones on this thread, which I guess includes me - don't assume we are all writing from a position of ignorance of phobias. I'm phobic - not severely, but still phobic - about dog poo, specifically about contact with it. I still take my kids out to the park etc. Always have. I can't limit their lives because of my fears. And yes, I have had to clean the stuff off shoes and even clothes many a time. One of my worst nightmares. But I do it.

The stakes are considerably higher here than with dog poo. And the best-laid plans can go very awry in labour and birth.

Trifle, its easy to shout slogans at the OP. Yes she can make choices but they need to be informed ones. Premature labour is hardly a rare complication of pregnancy .

Where did I say her choices didn't need to be informed? I specifically said the opposite to this. Bottom line - as has been confirmed on this thread by a HCP - no-one can force her to do anything. She needs to be informed of the risks. She should seek support in dealing with her phobia. These are the facts. The hand-wringing you can keep.

Get some support - sounds like you need it.

Phobia is phobia .... i.e. it's irrational so don't worry it's just psychological .... I hate spiders ... very scared... but have managed my fear (god knows how!) now I've got kids (though husband is still the only spider catcher I can just about be in the room with s spider without Freaking now!! So I get your pain

What's your fear? The pain or the needle going inside you?' Etc!? Do you know why you've developed this?!

Hey, I've just come back to this, I haven't read all the responses yet - still feeling pretty fragile. I feel her 'just get over it' approach is the same as telling a depressed person to cheer up.

I think as time goes on and I feel more emotionally involved in this pregnancy, I'll be able to prioritise the baby more. I'm still feeling quite numb about the whole thing - I've never been very maternal and the decision to try was more based on us (husband more than me) wanting a family rather than any real desire of mine to have a baby. I'm sure I'll love him or her when they come along, but I'm but not really thinking of it as a baby yet, or have any real emotional link.

I think hearing a heartbeat, seeing a scan etc will make it all a lot more real, which might help me push myself that bit harder.

I really need help and support. Hopefully my gp can help or refer me to someone who can.

I think some of you have been extremely harsh here, and rather than calming me down which is what I was hoping for, have made me feel even worse. Some of you have helped though (whether or not I agree with it all), and thank you for everyone that has taken the time to respond.

As for what husband wants - me and poppy seed (current size), to both be happy and healthy. He'll be doing a lot of hand holding, but he certainly won't be begging. He knows how hard this is for me more than anyone. He'll be empowering me to try my best, not berating me for what I can't do.

As far as who is going to take children for vaccinations- their father. He's used to it with the cats already.

Fingers crossed I see an understanding doctor/midwife who'll help me through all this.

Well i can only assume you've never had a tiny baby in SCBU if you can laugh it off as hand wringing. It might be a joke to you but it's not to the parents , the babies or the staff who work there .

And your trite " they can't make you do nuffin'" is simplistic, as others have explained to you.

I hope the Op ignores you and seeks help now, as amost everyone else on this thread has encouraged her to do .

Sorry I missed your update. I'm glad you are feeling more positive, I hope you get the support you need and good luck with you pregnancy.

No, it isn't simplistic. I have acknowledged that the OP will need to fully understand the implications of her decisions. After that, her right to accept or decline treatment is guaranteed to her by law. Simple fact, not simplistic at all.

By the way, I'm not laughing. There is nothing funny about the cavalier attitudes to women's bodily autonomy shown here. I am furious, if anything.

Trifle no one is saying that the OP doesn't have a say, what we are saying is that if she chooses not to have any needles there may be complications for her and/ or her baby. It is fair enough for her to research what she thinks is necessary but some needles are. What would have happened to me if I refused needles would have been that I would have been so unwell I would have become unconscious on two occasions and then treated when unconscious as it would be deemed in my best interest.

People on this thread have suggested that the OP gets help through CPT, hypnotherapy or other taking therapies as some interventions are necessary to preserve life.

*CBT obviously.