Urgh, first contact with maternity services didn't go well :-(

[Blueskyrain]

If anyone remembers my previous posts, I'm pregnant with my first (only 5 1/2 weeks), and very, very nervous. I've got a severe phobia of needles, and the prospect of pregnancy terrifies me. But I want it, so I'm trying to just get on with it. I don't have a GP as yet.

I saw on the midwife pages of my hospital that I could self refer, so I thought I'd get the ball rolling that way. Apparently, no I can't. I have to register with a GP first, and see my GP first. Some faff but ok.

I mentioned my needle phobia and that I'd need to speak to them, or see them first to work out some way of me being able to do the blood tests etc, and her response - we see a lot of women with issues with needles. They just get over it. You might need a lot of injections/bloods etc, and there's a lot worse to come with labour pain, so most woment just get over it.

Thanks.

Thanks a lot.

I'm now having a good cry and am in a complete panic about things. She didn't say it nastily, but she had all the tact of a block of stone, and has made me feel 10 times worse.

I totally sympathise, I had (and still have) a needle phobia.

At the first blood test in my prenancy I was so worked up I threw up over the doctor!

Luckily I'm a total rule follower so if a doctor tells me I need to do something I'll do it no matter how distressed it makes me.

I just tried to think about how I'd be feeling in 30 mins time. Id tell myself 'it'll all be over' 'I can sit down with a nice cup of tea' 'the worry will be gone'

It's the only thing that got me through it.

Good job too because it turned out I needed more injections and blood tests than most as my blood group and my baby's were different so needed the anti g? injection.

I was dreading the needles when I first got pregnant too. There aren't actually that many. I think you have 3 blood tests before the birth. For those, I recommend telling the person taking blood that you don't like needles and asking them to use the smallest needle possible. I once had what I think is called a butterfly needle and genuinely barely felt it (I'm usually the first to call bullshit on that claim!). Also, get all bloods done by the proper phlebotomy people who do it all day long - they are the best at taking blood quickly and successfully.

With the birth, it depends what type of delivery you have. I've had 2 c sections but a vaginal birth would involve far fewer injections/bloods.

I know you didn't appreciate hearing it but you really do learn to manage your fear. I still hate needles but the fear is much worse than reality. My fear is really about the pain ultimately and it is just a second of pain and you probably feel worse pain every day just by having a head ache or stomach ache or waking into something etc. It is worth it to get to have your baby at the end of the process!

OP, I think people are being a bit harsh on you here, in fact, phobias can be treated on the NHS and health professionals can be sympathetic and creative in the face of them. What you have here is lots of people yet again telling you to 'woman up' when you don't feel you can. Not helpful.

My own experience is that HCP are very sympathetic. I had the phobia written up in my notes with huge letters so everyone could see it. I had the minimal amount of bloods done, and during birth, and also the consultant agreed to do a full anesthetic if a C section needed. Plenty of women have phobias, some for example about internal exams, and no, health professionals can't just ride roughshod over these, and in the main, they don't. You can ask for treatment for the phobia, go to the GP but given the time-scale I'd look into private treatment urgently.

I am fed up of reading on here how it's perfectly acceptable for nurses or midwives to be horrible, say nasty things, be dismissive or be prejudiced say against old people, because they are busy and stressed. Some people are at their most vulnerable in pregnancy or in hospital with dementia, and being treated like crap will stay with them forever, it's utterly dehumanizing. If the OP could 'woman up' she would, she can't to the point of wanting to stop the pregnancy. I also think all of us will be one day very vulnerable in hospital, possibly dying, and being treated in a dismissive fashion as literally a waste of space is incredibly sad. I haven't found nurses and HCP to be like that in the main, and those that are should be identified as unprofessional, not told it's just fine as they are so overstretched. My workload has doubled in some areas with student numbers- shall I start being snappy, dismissive and treating them like annoyances then?

You do sound a bit precious OP, sorry.

You're building it up in to a bigger deal than it is. All they want is to do their job.

What about some online cbt for needle phobias?

OP I had a horrible phobia around smears and speculums - I dread to think of how many hours I lost worrying about this.

What helped me was a very kind, gentle nurse who was so lovely to me I trusted her to do it. From then on I've been able to brave it. Just as well (won't bore with further details).

Speak to GP about an understanding practice nurse maybe?

You need to stop with the "they'll have to do something about it" and do something about it yourself. You've been given several suggestions on this thread.

You've planned a pregnancy knowing that you aren't registered with a GP and have a phobia of needles - such that you're actually considering putting your baby at risk to accommodate your phobia rather than do something to try to deal with the phobia . Come on, time to take some personal responsibility now.

I had a needle phobia with my first pregnancy and am still anxious regarding immunisations/anything being put into me by a needle but blood tests don't bother me anymore. I had pretty much the same sort of experience as you describe which I think is probably because the midwives hear it regularly with first pregnancies.
It actually spurred me on to get some help for my fears (hypnotherapy) and whilst early blood tests weren't exactly a breeze by the end of my pregnancy I'd conquered my fears so much so drips and epidurals during first labour weren't a problem.
It's unlikely you will be sedated because of risks to baby, you can of course refuse all tests but the best course of action is to get the therapy you need to address the fear now.

I would advise also cbt and hypnosis, counseling etc. My DH has a severe needle phobia, and although it sounds stupid (I was the one going through it, not him) he needed some serious counseling just to accompany me when i had my various tests. But it worked well enough that he was able at least to stay in the room without throwing up. Quite a major thing. If we had another baby I probably would not put him through that, but for the first I wanted him with me as I was scared. He did an amazing job. (Ate fruit pastels and read books throughout the labour, but was there so that was good enough. :) )

I have to say though that when my DS had a vaccination last week I was in a state, and threw up beforehand (not in his presence though, naturally, he was blase). I got myself through it by telling myself it was neccessary (it was) and that in an hour it would all be over.

Try and get appointments with a phlebotomist (hope that is the correct spelling).

They are dedicated blood takers and I found they always got blood out of me first try !

The midwife was not being nasty, she was being realistic. So many blood tests are needed in pregnancy and 90% of the pain relief options require a cannula in place (needle into hand).

I really hope you will try some of suggestions on this thread. After all you know logically, that you can't endanger your baby for your irrational fear of needles. You are going to be a mother and your needs have to be weighed with the needs of your baby.

I felt similarly about vaginally exams but honestly give yourself a change and you can learn to deal with your fears and not let your fears control you.

Good luck. I am sure next year you will look back and be proud of how well you dealt with all the necessary needles during pregnancy.

They'll have to balance out risk to the baby compared with me not having the tests at all.

I wish I wasn't pregnant right now :-(

I would start with that attitude. I'm not sure how that is received by them or would be a cause for concern.

I am also not sure they have the resources available to knock you out for every single blood test and have a recovery area available. You wont be able to drive home after sedation, etc.

You just have to tackle this phobia and arrange yourself some therapy and pay.

*wouldnt start with that attitude not would

You need to take responsibility for yourself and your baby and get some help now.

I'm afraid you sound quite immature with your plans to emotionally blackmail HCP - well they will just have to give me what I want or it will be their fault.

Even if you refuse all blood tests, you may end up having problems in labour and need a CS. No one can predict exactly what will happen , so you need to seek some help now for your phobia .

I am not turning on any dramatics. I haven't been able to stop crying since I got off the phone (I burst into tears on the phone). Its just how I am.

Some people are scared of needles, but if they want something enough, they can get over it (ie mouldy and IVF), but mine is very severe. I have put myself at risk before because of my medical phobia, for example I'm fairly sure I broke my arm about 15 years ago, and its still slightly weak, but I refused to go to hospital over it.

I was originally going to try and get counselling etc before getting pregnant, but it didn't happen, I felt bad at my continued creation of 'reasons' to my poor husband as to why I didn't want children yet, and I've seen a member of my family whose had an almost as bad needles phobia manage (illness, not pregnancy), through really understanding medical professionals and sedatives.

I'm looking up private counselling options now, and have printed off the forms to register with a GP etc.

When I say, they will have to balance the risks, what I mean is that the risk isn't me getting upset with injections vs risk to baby, the risk is - no tests vs risk to baby.

I'm happy to have as much counselling as I can, and will pay privately if I need to. It might be after that, that I'm a better frame of mind to understand how I can have the tests whilst unmedicated, but right now, I just wish someone would literally knock me out and just take my bloods.

Plus what are you going to do when it comes to vaccinations?

Refuse them because you are phobic?

I agree the midwife may not have intended to be brusque, but just to reassure you quickly. Which doesn't mean it's not understandable you're worried about it, given you have a phobia.

But I think you're likely to get their backs up because of things like this: I have to register with a GP first, and see my GP first. Some faff but ok.

Honestly, really, registering with a GP does not qualify as a 'faff' in the scheme of things.

It is a really tiny, minor bit of paperwork you have to do, and which it's not really surprising you have to do given you are having a baby. I have friends in other countries who are green with envy that we get free medical care, and I do think it comes across as entitled and lazy that you feel something as basic as registering with a GP is worth mentioning, in the same post as mentioning your phobia.

It doesn't sound like she has the best bedside manner, but to be honest I (as a HCP) roll my eyes at "needle phobia" as usually it means "I don't like blood tests". Who does?

if you have genuine mental health problems then you need counselling or CBT, and you could get Emla cream for bloods and injections, but no one is going to sedate a pregnant woman for no reason. If you choose to decline all blood tests then that's up to you and the consequences are on your head. No one has the time to spend hours trying to persuade you and the blackmail of "well it'll be worse for the baby if I have no bloods so you'll have to sedate me" isn't going to work.

Only you can decide if this is a "man up, big girl pants on and get on with it" issue or a genuine mental health issue, but either way it needs sorting for your child's benefit as well as your own.

What blood group are you and your DH?

If you are rh-ve and he is +ve there will be injections.

You need to consider what has been suggested on here, getting CBT or other therapy. If they tell you that you can't have sedatives are you honestly going to put you and your baby at risk? The professionals will do their best to support you but ultimately it's up to you.

Plus what are you going to do when it comes to vaccinations?

Refuse them because you are phobic?

I assume the baby has two parents.

I'm going for now. I know you're trying to help, but I'm feeling worse and worse.

But you are unlikely to receive sedatives unless the risk to your baby is greater if you don't receive them.

I think this was your responsibility to address before getting pregnant. I don't think it's the midwife's problem.

What you are likely to find is that the NHS has their way of handling pregnancy and how you feel about it makes little difference because their methods are in place for reasons to do with priorities other than your personal preferences.

I am sympathetic, OP, because DH has a needle phobia too and I know how bad it can get.

But you saying "they'll have to balance out risks to the baby" isn't true. You will. People have given you lots of routes to explore, but ultimately, it's your decision whether you have the bloods (and whatever else) or not.

I am trying to help.

But I also think, actually, yes, you should be feeling worse. You've come and complained about the 'faff' of having to register for free health care, and you've put that complaint alongside discussing a serious health issue you have.

I think you should be feeling ashamed of that, not comforted and cheered up that it's somehow an ok thing to have felt.

Sorry we are all being tough OP but realistically you need to see common sense.

They won't have time or the facilities to sedate you. That's without considering the risks for your baby.

You are going to have to start thinking about your own responsibility with this.