Urgh, first contact with maternity services didn't go well :-(

[Blueskyrain]

If anyone remembers my previous posts, I'm pregnant with my first (only 5 1/2 weeks), and very, very nervous. I've got a severe phobia of needles, and the prospect of pregnancy terrifies me. But I want it, so I'm trying to just get on with it. I don't have a GP as yet.

I saw on the midwife pages of my hospital that I could self refer, so I thought I'd get the ball rolling that way. Apparently, no I can't. I have to register with a GP first, and see my GP first. Some faff but ok.

I mentioned my needle phobia and that I'd need to speak to them, or see them first to work out some way of me being able to do the blood tests etc, and her response - we see a lot of women with issues with needles. They just get over it. You might need a lot of injections/bloods etc, and there's a lot worse to come with labour pain, so most woment just get over it.

Thanks.

Thanks a lot.

I'm now having a good cry and am in a complete panic about things. She didn't say it nastily, but she had all the tact of a block of stone, and has made me feel 10 times worse.

OP, I think the problem here is that 'needle phobia' can run from my husband's "I don't wanna!" but he'll do it if he can hold someone tight, to your full-on severe phobia. The person on the phone was likely talking to someone on the milder end of things.

You need to approach the HCP with a proactive "I've got a problem, please can you help me find a solution" direction, rather than a "fix this or else!" direction. You're doing the right thing looking up counselling and getting to see your GP. It's okay if you cry in front of the GP, but make sure you get out first that you want to solve this and are looking for direction.

You don't have to have any bloodwork done. It's your choice
OK so strictly speaking no-one can make you have the blood tests but I cannot believe that anybody would willing choose to put themselves and their baby at risk of not getting the best possible healthcare.

Persiancatlady- all tests are optional. You don't have to have any testing at all.

It's advisable to for very good reasons but they are still optional.

I don't agree with people who don't get them done but I respect their right to do so if they are happy to take the consequences. It's a slippery slope when we force people to have treatments and interventions that they don't want for the good of someone not yet born.

I hope you've gone off to do some research into therapy and treatment for phobias. You need to take ownership of your phobia and stop othering - 'they' will have to give me sedatives, weigh up the risks to the baby, etc. So far you haven't taken much responsibility and do a lot of complaining. No one is going to prescribe a pregnant woman a sedative for bloods or injections and you're aware that you may need to have procedures like a C-section in order to preserve your life and that of the baby which require needles.

As pp said, this is your decision not the HCPs. They will not sedate you if you refuse. They will simply say "ok your choice, your risk".

What is the worst that will happen if you go ahead with the blood tests/injections?

You describe upthread several days of not sleeping, having to lie down etc. I don't want to minimise your phobia, I am sure those few days were hellish for you, but it's still better to have a hellish few days rather than dealing with the potential consequences of not having the tests (and knowing that they could have been avoided).

Persiancatlady- all tests are optional. You don't have to have any testing at all
Yes I know that nobody can force you to have the tests but in my mind no matter how much you hate needles the tests aren't just for your benefit, they are for your baby's benefit as well.

I think that refusing to have these tests because you are scared of needles is actually quite selfish.

I was the same!

All I can recommend is that rather than midwife/nurses doing bloods (no disrespect at all as they do all mine now) is ask to go to the blood room at hospital as generally the phlebotomists are so spot on, they really put you at ease and are good at getting it first time without needing to retry.

That's what got me over my phobia, how good they did it and I honestly got to the stage where I never felt it, they also used small butterfly needs as my veins are pretty naff and collapse easy

You will be fine - big deep breath and think of your babies first look at you x

Wondering whether op could have gas and air if she had all bloods done at the hospital.

Another idea if you do come back to the thread..... acupuncture! I know that sounds crazy to treat a phobia of needles with more needles but hear me out. If you explain the situation, they can gently introduce you to their very fine needles and build up your tolerance. Also acupuncture is supposed to be calming and good for dealing with anxiety.

I have needle phobia too. I have a letter from a consultant anaesthetist who tried to bodge so many holes in my hand I got up and ran away. The letter says I have severe needle phobia and unless I am given care and consideration and have Emla cream applied in advance am a danger to myself and others - they certainly listen when I produce that!
No one can compel you to have any blood tests. Discuss with your GP which you really are best advised to consent to and ditch the others. I had no bloods taken at all after delivery with either child as it was a risk I could assume for myself. I think it is a bit easier to cope with if you feel you have some measure of control over what is happening, rather than accept being told what you must do.

care to mansplain anymore there Craig

Wouldn't want the "ladies" to be all hysterical now would we

Oh no wait. My bad. You aren't mansplaining, you're advertising instead.

Well done

BlueSky I read your OP as it's currently trending and it's a subject very close to my heart - Not only as I have incredibly bad needlephobia (and have had private counselling for 2 years for it) - but I felt exactly the same as you when I became pregnant last September.

Unfortunately my fears became worse and worse - massively exacerbated by the thought of my body not being my own and people 'doing things' to it with needles and I became incredibly depressed and suicidal and made the incredibly painful decision to terminate as I just couldn't cope with the idea of progressing the (planned) pregnancy.

I don't mean to scare you - As despite it being the absolute worst time of my life, I can look back at it now to a number of positives and if anything I say below helps or you want to PM me, then feel free.

1. I needed to feel in control - I went to the Dr when I was 4.5 weeks pregnant and asked for a C-section. Having been present for my sisters (traumatic) birth, I had the most horrific fear that medical professionals would be doing things to me that I hadn't consented to - I felt (and still feel) that I'd prefer death than have people touch me without my consent, so wanted to 'plan' everything. Whilst excited women were waiting for their first scan with bounty packs in hospital, I was in the corner, trying not to hysterically cry, with my 'excel pregnancy project plan' in a black leather folder I'd decanted all the baby stuff into - all because I needed to feel 'in control'.

I don't know if you feel like that at all - but your 'I don't want to be pregnant' was exactly how I felt.... constantly. Please don't ignore that feeling and if you feel yourself getting worse and worse and certain 'bad thoughts' happening, please talk to your GP.

1. Not all midwives / GP's are bad - I was incredibly lucky with every single person I came into contact with. After bursting into tears at my midwifes appointment, she wrote 'NEEDLEPHOBIC' in big letters on the front of my maternity notes, and wrote down about always using EMLA cream and when she took blood, I swear.. she was so gentle and so nice and caring, she really 'cared' and she made a horrible experience much, much better. So far, it sounds like the people you've met have been unsympathetic and not understanding - perhaps try and find other GP's / Midwives who can appreciate how scared you are?

Additionally - when I went to the GP and said I wanted to kill myself, she was incredibly understanding and prescribed Setraline, however there was no judgement. I wanted to feel like everyone else and 'normal', but she said that a lot of women don't necessarily feel 'happy' - especially when you have hormones going through your system!

1. Counselling has really helped me - I started counselling 2 years ago as I had to have my wisdom teeth out under general anaesthetic... my first needles in... what? 15 years?!!!! After bursting into tears at the Consultant I found a counsellor online and started seeing her once a week. She has really, really, really helped - it's taken a while, but I honestly feel 'OK' about things.

I don't know why your needlephobia developed - mine was when I was 4 and I had a fit and the Drs thought it was meningitis, so I was taken to hospital and they held me down and give me 2 lumbar punctures (one failed). No explanation, no asking consent - they just held me down and from that moment on - Noone could come near me with a needle.. I had no vaccinations at school.. no BCG... no, nothing as I was too terrified. Talking things through with the counsellor and having positive 'experiences' in hospital (I've now had 3 generals in 2 years... 1. Wisdom Teeth... 2 Termination... 3. Back steroid injections) with everyone being so, so lovely to me have just helped so much - All of the nurses and Drs were very, very sympathetic and understanding.

I'd certainly talk to your GP and I'd be as honest as possible - I hope you're feeling OK and less panicky. Just remember - YOU are in control of things and noone can do anything you do want, however if you're able to start working through things and think 'I'm OK with having this injection as I'm choosing to have it, and yeah... I'll cry and be upset, but it will be OK'

No one can compel you to have any blood tests
I am sorry to say this but I think that this is a really bad piece of advice to give the OP as it gives her an excuse not to sort this out.

Really, OP, you seem to have a pattern of not facing up to this issue. Making excuses to your dh for not trying for children instead of saying, look, there's this phobia I need to sort out, let me get counselling/therapy first then we can start. It's a long-standing issue, obviously, so no excuse really. Now you plan to use emotional blackmail to get sedatives, regardless of the risk to the baby, and dress it up as the HCPs' responsibility if they refuse. And when the posts here aren't as you'd like, you leave the thread. It all doesn't come across very well, however much sympathy we have for your phobia.

You're going to be a mother. Now is a golden opportunity for you to grow up (meant in the nicest possible way, honestly) and take responsibility. What an achievement it will be for you if you are able to overcome your phobia enough to have the care you need. What a fabulous, powerful way to start off motherhood.

My trust has a special midwife led clinic that helps women with a phobia of giving birth (which I know is not the same at all), which offers counselling and extra support. There may be similar services where you are for other types of phobia and it's worth asking at your booking appointment.

I feel for you so much. My Sister faints at even the mention of needles or blood, she doesn't even need to see either. She has got quite a lot better with CBT but I don't think she's anywhere close to being able to go through with a pregnancy
I think her next step is hypnotherapy, have you thought about that?

FluffyPersian I am sorry you went through that. It sounds a little as if you developed AND and it focused around your needle phobia, and indeed as if there is/was some PTSD going on from your horrific childhood experience. You've been very brave.

I would suggest you look at getting some really urgent help with this, privately, as although it's true that you can decline all blood tests and injections during pregnancy, you just can't rely on this, especially when it gets to the business end and after.

As harsh as the midwife was, you really will have to find a way to be OK with it.

I had a fear of needles until I had to go into hospital. Honestly the best thing the nurses could have done was to just say oh well it'll be fine let's get on with it. If they indulge you it will only reinforce your fear and make everything a thousand times worse.

what did you think was going to happen when you got pregnant?

This is just the pregnancy bit, what do you think is going to happen when you go into labour?

Take advice that has been given here. It's not just about you anymore.

I think you need to take responsibility for you baby - sorry.

I have a phobia (not needles) that is severe BUT I do everything I can to protect my children from it and it involves them so I have to face it.

Surely you wouldn't want to put your baby at risk by using sedatives???

With my own phobia I know facing it I may have a panic attack but caring for my children is the most important thing.

I'm sorry I think you are being quite selfish. You need bloods etc in pregnancy so now is the time to face it and get help. It's not up to the midwife to 'sort something out' and decided between the dangers to your baby.

Wishing you the best of luck thou. Phobias are shit

I have a phobia of vomiting which I'm shitting myself constantly due to the pregnancy. I mentioned it at my booking in appointment and the midwife asked if I would like any additional help with it, hopefully yours will too.

I know our phobias are different but this is what I find helps me:

Rescue remedy, the kids star sweets don't contain alcohol
Being distracted, like colouring in, playing games on my phone that kind of thing
Someone talking to me about nonsense! Anything that stops me thinking about being unwell.

I really hope you get some support because phobias are really hard. Can your partner or a friend go with you to help keep you calm?

Hi OP. I can't read much of the thread as I also have a needle phobia and just reading it will make me have a panic attack. Also unwilling to get in a debate about it with other posters. Unless you actually have a phobia, you have NO IDEA what it's like, and how consuming it is. And it is something to be dealt with in the same way as other issues - mental and physical - are during maternity care.

Anyway - it caused some dramas during my pregnancy and birth, but they were all handled eventually after the right person saw me properly go to bits. One of the issues is that you see different people to get a range of opinions, so you have to revisit the narrative over and over, and will encounter a range of opinions, from the gentle and understanding to the brusque and intolerant. I'm happy to discuss offline - so do PM me - if you want an outline of my approach and strategies.