Pregnancy after infertility III

[stealthbanana]

Spotting, cramping, "is my clearblue digi accurate?",* viability scans, measuring behind, measuring ahead, high hcg, low hcg, morning sickness, lack of morning sickness, anomaly scans....

That's right, folks, it's the place where scanxiety really means something, where the feeling like you're always going to be on the wrong side of statistics nevers go away, and where moments of sheer terror are par for the course ...it's pregnancy after infertility.

Join if you want to hang out with a supportive group of women across all different stages of pregnancy who can't believe they got here and are hoping like hell its all going to be ok.

Previous thread here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/2679146-Pregnancy-after-infertility-II

*hint for newbies: it's not

Thanks everyone, I love the pic!

Sammy we don't get anymore scans now! I could have had an extra 3 if I had gone consultant led like they offered but I turned it down. I'm actually quite happy to not have anymore now unless something is wrong as I do find them stressful each time. I could always get another private one but we have lots of really nice pics now and I don't think we would see a lot more than we have already seen.

I think that's a good attitude. The scans definitely stress me out. If we weren't consultant led we wouldn't even have had this head measurement to worry about.

We haven't been given scan pics the last 2 times, but have tonnes so I'm putting together an album starting from 3 day old embryo. Xx

Welcome Mrscrabtree and good look for Thursday

Lucie glad it went well and that picture is fantastic!

Sammy good luck with the scan tomorrow, the album is a lovely idea

I have an album of scan pics. From the . (Dot) of embryo on et day to all the scans

This will be my only baby and want to have scan pics and they always do them at my hospital. Have

5/4 private little sac
7/1 private heart
10 NHS
12 NHS
16 private
20/4 NHS
22/4 NHS
24/4 NHS
27 NHS

Had to have 3 attempts to get all measurements so went back 3 times

Then have booked in

28/4 NHS
30/2 private 4d
31/4 NHS
34/4 NHS
37/4 NHS

That's a lot of scans 😱

Mrscrabtree - I have viability scan on Thur too. I will be 6 weeks from ec. So nervous. We must be due at fairly similar times. This is my second cycle too after 1st one failed. Scary times!
Thanks for all the messages about sickness I know its normal but its all day long at the moment and back to work Thursday so may have to get something for it.
Lucieloos - stunning pic you must be so relieved.
Blondes - could you not get another couple in there? He he, I have a similar collection of pregnancy tests!
Sanmy thinking of you tomorrow.

Hello Sara, oh exciting/terrifying we both have scans tomorrow. And that I'm complaining about having no symptoms and you're really suffering with sickness, i hope you find something to help. I also have a ridiculous line of pregnancy tests... I basically still can't believe it's true.
Sammy that's a good idea about an album. Good luck for your scan today. Blondes your album will be nice and full!! How lovely.
Interesting thoughts on harmony. I'm going to postpone thinking about it until after tomorrow's scan just in case we don't get that far, but think we'd probably go for it x

Hi everyone!
I've dropped off lately but I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy New Year. Sammy, sorry to hear you've had another worry but as someone said it's all about getting weeks under your belt ... Blueroses, I did the Harmony (well, SAFE test which is the equivalent developed by NHS [still paying]). It's cheaper to do at 10 weeks if that's a consideration. Highly recommend it just because it's so accurate. Regardless of whether you would continue to term, it's still very valuable information so you can be prepared medically and mentally. Best £399 I ever spent.

AFM I'm 16 weeks now, feeling less exhausted! I am trying to spend less time online so won't be posting regularly but wanted to wish everyone all the best and thanks for all the amazing support and advice.

Hi all, wow so many newbies. Great to hear about everyone doing well. Sammy sorry to hear about your scare and hoping you are doing OK. For people in the first trimester, feel your pain...It feels like it goes on forever and totally remember the feeling of not believing that the viability scan will be fine after all the disappointment. ATM I am 21+6 and although there are still definitely bad days, they are less frequent than they were. I think the tiredness and nausea in the first tri doesn't help as it made me feel less rational too.

Things OK this end, going to get another scan tomorrow due to baby not in right position for 20 week scan. Hoping all OK. Feeling movement which is more like tickles than anything else. I do have an anterior placenta though so this may be having a bearing on what I am feeling.

Wanted to throw this out there to second tri ladies, did anyone have a really hard time with being the centre of attention/getting lots of pregnancy questions? I expected to be feeling proud of my bump and excitedly talking about scans, baby clothes etc. Instead it freaks me out a bit...Not sure why, I think because on some level I am still scared of disappointment? Over Christmas was with DH's (very large) family and sitting around drinking tea with about six other women who were bombarding me with questions. Eventually I said that I didn't want to answer any more and could we change the subject? Felt quite rude really and tried to explain why I didn't want to answer any more but not entirely sure myself...! What a funny old place (weird rather than ha ha) this is to be, going through pregnancy after infertility for so long.

jen I was going to ask exactly the same question - I'm only 14 and 4 so a fair bit behind you but still don't want to tell anyone so am basically avoiding most people! We haven't told my dh's family yet as I just can't face the excitement and questions - totally freaks me out. My boss knows as I had time off for ivf but I've sworn her to secrecy.... Was wondering when/if it gets better!?

Also found out at Christmas that my friend is pregnant with her second after 3 months of trying - there were tears when she didn't fall first month like she did with her first. Anyway, when I found out it put me in a really bad mood! Know this is ridiculous as has no impact on me and I'm being a total bitch but just can't be rational about it! Gaaah

Good luck with your 20 weeker though jen and hope they can get all the measurements!

Good to know the extreme hunger passes Lucie, I am obsessed with food at the moment but also feeling pretty nauseous so its all a bit odd. Currently finding I can only get through the bus journey to work if I suck on polos. Your scan picture is amazing, so detailed! So glad all is well and you can relax.

I hope your scan is ok today Sammy, you're certainly being kept busy with all these scans, sorry your scan yesterday worried you, hopefully the next week passes quickly and you are reassured.

I think we are going to wait for the NHS results and then decide whether to do Harmony or I may just decide to go ahead and do it anyway DHs main objection at the moment is that we are paying out for blood tests next week to get my natural killer cell levels checked and it is too much to do Harmony too.

Just wanted to check that cramping around week 8 is normal, keep getting mild cramps which feel fairly stretchy but sometimes a bit AF like.

Jen - I felt that way the whole pregnancy and chocolate I STILL get pissed off when I hear of people conceiving so quickly and I actually have a baby now!

Hi ladies. Sorry I haven't posted, everything seems a bit draining to me at the minute.

Lucie, I'm so pleased your 20 week scan went well. That's such a fantastic picture.

Sammy, hope everything goes well with your scan today and next week.

Blueroses, hope you're doing well? I'm glad everything was okay after your scare, any news on the stitch yet? X

Goodluck Sara and Mrs Crabtree with your viability scans.

Afm, I'm still holding on, they still think I'm leaking fluid but no signs of infections so far. I had a scan at 19 weeks and I'm having a little boy. They won't scan me now until I make the golden 24 weeks, so I'm having one next Sunday privately to see how things are going. I'm at home now but having to go hospital every week for blood test.

Hope everybody had a lovely Christmas & new year. 😊

Jen try oj. Only thing that made bubs turn

Chocolate. It's hard when someone Else is preg naturally and easily yet taken us years and lots of ivf

Blue. Any news of stitch yet?

Hi, hope it's ok to join. Had first scan today at 6 weeks and 3 days following (incredibly lucky) conception following first ICSI. I thought I was ok with all of this (we have always tried to be realistic about our prospects of success) but while we have a good heartbeat the "thing" is a little bit small - measuring at 6 weeks rather than 6 weeks 3 days (5mm vs 6 mm). Doctor says he's pretty sure its fine - heart beat is a good indicator - and measurements less accurate due to position of uterus (further from end of probe) but I am still absolutely wigging out. I could just sit here and howl, but I won't, even though it's probably not that bad. Sorry to whinge. Just wanted to vent really - husband is v.positive about everything.

Just got back from 7 wk scan and all was ok. Saw the heart beating, couldn't believe it. Got the second picture for our album! Now, should I book a private scan for in between now and 12 weeks..?

Good luck Sara and to anyone else with a scan today or soon.

Raffles, congratulations. I've got no advice other than yes I've heard that a heartbeat is the main thing. It's all so anxiety provoking and it's understandable you're worried tho, especially if your DH takes the optimistic side. Do you have another scan booked to see how it's doing?

Hope everyone else is doing well today xx

Happy new year everyone!! I hope you all had a fab Christmas. I've been absent as I had an assignment due yesterday but now its been sent I can relax a little until the next one in...two weeks!

Lucie What a fantastic picture!! I'm so pleased everything went well for your scan. I see you said that if you had been consultant led, you would have had an additional 3 scans. I am consultant led and havent been told about any extra scans and the only one on the horizon for us is the 3d one we are planning on having.

Sammy I am sorry your scan wasn't reassuring for you. I hope you are ok and the heart scan goes well.

Wow Blondes and Sammy they sounds like a lovely album of pictures! :-)

Rebecca Glad you are doing ok.

Jenbot I'm also finding it hard to talk about some aspects of this pregnancy. We've been quite open about the fact that this is through IVF, and I will happily answer IVF questions all day, to the best of my ability, but when people start asking about baby clothes, scans etc I get quite defensive and add things like 'if all goes well' and 'touch wood' and 'if we're lucky' on the end of all my sentences. Weird. Hope your scan goes well today.

Chocolate I haven't had any pregnancy announcements off close friends since Ive been pregnant (typical!) but I do have a cousin who is a month ahead of me and who loves to post every aspect of her pregnancy on facebook. Honestly, its like she's the first woman EVER to be pregnant and it mildly irritates me every time I see something of hers. I imagine I'd have blocked her by now, if our IVF hadn't worked. I also have friend who keeps trying to post baby things on my facebook wall since we announced. I block or delete most, incase anyone on my friends list is struggling.

Trixie I hope you are doing ok. I had mild cramping up to about 10 weeks, and everything I read suggested this was normal. I still get occasional cramps now.

Blue I hope Baby Blue's first christmas was awesome! :-)

Friends!!! So pleased to hear from you. Its good news that there is no sign of infection, though it must be so stressful for you. How many weeks are you now? I have everything crossed for you and your little boy xxx

Welcome Raffles, Sara and Mrscrabtree.

Sara I hope your scan goes well today.

Mrscrabtree glad to hear your scan went well today. I was desperate for another scan before the 12 week mark but I tried to hold off. DH said if I really wanted one we would have one but I made it to 12 weeks without in the end. I think it would have been nice for reassurance though so if you can, I would say go for it!

Raffles I think its understandable that you are worried but a strong heartbeat is good and I have everything crossed for you.

AFM, I am currently 24+5 and seem to have exploded in the last few weeks. Honestly, my tummy looks enormous and I cant imagine how I'm going to look in another 15 weeks. I am quite short (just a smidge over 5ft) so I dont think that helps! My 13 year old DD had the cheek to call me an oompa loompa a few days ago! I'm a bit achey around the bump and lower back so DH bought me one of those full body length pregnancy pillows that looks like a giant pair of trousers to sleep with. He now has the tiniest space possible in the bed but I am ridiculously comfortable!! :-) Midwife in two weeks, then GTT test on 2nd Feb, and we're also planning a private 3d scan sometime this month but other than that, no news from me.

Apologies to anyone I've missed. Hope everyone is ok! :-)

Raffles welcome and try and not worry 1mm is nithing

MrsC I had a 10w scan tho was nhs as a reassurance scan as old tho was going to book a private one

Keep the scan pics up. Lovely momento to look back on - I keep flipping thro ours thinking wow the little . Is now a 2,4lber and 30cm

Mpp. I've also suddenly grown. Bump is getting in way of putting socks on and off

I'm 3w ahead of you so have Glucose and scan on mon and 4d booked few weeks

If you haven't booked it do now as my clinic quite busy as ideally needs to be 28/31/32 to get best pic. Before 26/28 not enough fat and after 32 may not be much room so scan won't show so much

MPP, that's strange she told me the only reason for me to be consultant led would be the fact that instead of growth being measured by the midwife I would have scans instead so I would be able to see the baby. It all sounded nice but the private rooms on the midwife ward swung it for me Also the fact that I don't really want to traipse to the hospital another 3 times if I'm not high risk. It's far easier for me to see my midwife.

Happy new year everyone

Sammy hope heart scan goes well

Friends glad there's no sign of infection and they are keeping an eye on you. Hope you're doing OK.

Welcome to the newbies and Sara hope your scan goes well.

Lucie glad your scan went well and I was exactly the same, so anxious before my 20 week scan.

Blueroses any update on stitch? I didn't have harmony so can't really advise but want to echo what someone else said, I had private 12 week scan and they were so thorough, I found that very reassuring.

Jen I feel exactly the same. I'm 25+5 and also struggle with the questions and attention. One relative said to me "oh you must have a list of names". I said we hadn't even talked about names yet. I made reference to what happened last time (I had a mc at 12 weeks) which they knew about so were understanding. I think if you can be open about it with people they're generally pretty understanding and a lot of people get that there's no 'right' way to feel or act about it all. DH and I talked about this though, we almost feel like we're too low key- we haven't done any shopping at all. However, I wanted to try to relax and enjoy second trimester after worries in the first so I'm just taking things as they come for now. The attention is weird, we were on holiday for the last week and people in the hotel were really nice about it but I found it strange- one old lady we'd never spoken to even rubbed my belly!

MPP I'm just a week ahead of you and seem to have got a proper bump in the last week! It was funny on holiday as a lot of people in the hotel seemed to suddenly notice towards the end of the week and start commenting. I'm also short but as this is my first I am not too big yet but I think I will be huge soon! Also getting uncomfortable at night, wonder if I should try a pillow like that.

Hope everyone's having a good day- I have a cold so am at home on the sofa

MrsCrabtree - just seen we are very close in date here. Yes - booked in for another in just under a fortnight (supposed to be two weeks but doctor is going skiing - wish I was ). Congratulations on your scan. Hope it continues to go well.

Was very relieved to find this thread this morning - I never expected to feel like this and glad it is not just me. A morning of work has pushed it to the back of my mind where I intend leave it for now.

Mrs crabtree glad scan went well; such a relief. I felt sick with nerves this morning and yet there it was - as clear as anything on the screen, heartbeat going like the clappers! Amazing sight! Here's to the 12 week one coming round quickly. I am defo wishing time away!
Raffles welcome and congrats! Lots of support on here. I had viability scan today and am 6 weeks since ec but clinic said I am officially 7.6 as they add 2 weeks on. Strange. TBH I think this whole process is fraught with anxiety. But hey you have been really lucky for icsi to work first time and now you've passed the scan test. I know what you mean about the emotions though - it's a minefield. Are you 6 weeks since icsi or 6 with 2 added on?
Sammy best of luck for the scan. Thinking of you.
kiwi hope you feel better soon. All that belly rubbing must have been wierd!
jenbot I can empathise - feel irritated when mil starts going on about it. Don't know why but feels like pressure I suppose. Wish could hibernate for a few months. Take it easy.

Sara237 - I am finding IVF pregnancy maths harder than period maths! I think it's 6 weeks with the two weeks - egg collection was 5 December so that would make sense (I find the whole conceit of calculating pregnancy on usual basis so that you are 6 weeks when it hasn't been back in you that long quite odd - though I get it).
We were unbelievably lucky - think that's why I'm struggling - I'd prepared myself for failure but not even considered how I'd feel or how to deal with it if it actually worked ... There's no pleasing some people .
Hope it keeps going well for everyone.
The infertile of Mumsnet are a lovely bunch and I'm glad I've found you.

Blondes thanks for the info. I'll def book the scan soon. I want to make sure we can see plenty! I'm really looking forward to it :-)

Lucie Perhaps its just another example of different areas? They said I may have a growth scan 'towards the end' but nothing specific and my next consultant appointment isnt until 34 weeks.

Kiwi I hope you enjoyed your holiday! Where did you go? The pillow is A-MAZ-ING!! I would recommend getting one. They really are huge and DH swears he spends most nights clinging on to the edge of the bed (though I think there's a little bit of exaggeration there!) As for my tummy, I was carrying a little extra beforehand anyway, which also hasnt helped, and I also think I'm going to be huge by due date.

Raffles we are also in the unbelievably lucky camp in that our first round of ICSI was successful. Like you, I was prepared for it to take a few goes and was quite shocked at the positive. Sometimes I feel quite guilty about how quickly it worked for us when so many others have to go through so much more. Hope you're doing ok.

Gah, for those of you at the same stage or further along, did you experience light almost period like cramps around 14-15 weeks and any stabbing pains in groin/vagina?!? It's mild and don't last long but Just Not sure if I should get it checked or I'm winding myself up as it's the longest I'm going between scans so far!!!

Any advice would be much appreciated

Chocolate, Im sure this doesn't really help you since I'm so far behind you but I've been having weird stabbing pains all day and I saw the baby looking fine just this morning! I'm still worrying about it though! I'm sure you're fine but then again you could always go to the EPU for reassurance if it carries on? No harm in getting checked. I've decided I'm going to just give in to being a bit neurotic about this pregnancy, I feel like we're allowed given what we've had to get through to get here.

I agree with you Raffles, I can't tell you how reassuring it is to have this thread and to see other people in the same boat and worrying about the same stuff. So nice to be here.

Glad your scan was good Sara! Yay, looks like we're only 5 days apart then, I'm 7+1 today, and Raffles not far behind.

Thanks for thoughts about scans. I think I might try to book one for 10 weeks along with a SAFE/harmony test if I can. Another 3 weeks without reassurance seems like a lifetime though..!

Hope those of you further ahead with actual bumps are managing to enjoy it some of the time whilst dodging the annoying comments and prodding that would defo piss me off. I'm avoiding telling anyone and will probably not for as long as humanly possible x