Staying posifrickentive- Thread 11 for ladies pg after mc

[LynseyH]

New thread!! The other one closed down!

Yay for dino and kate. Great news for you both!

I've just booked a gender scan 🙄 one week from tomorrow we will know what our little one is and also breaks up the wait until my 20 wk scan! So excited.

Posted too soon. So after an almost 2 hour service with a grumpy dd, mil starts moaning about the fact that we haven't had dd Christened. Dh put her straight but it got my back up a bit. I feel like they only did it for a party as everyone was getting drink after. I used my pregnancy as an excuse to get us out of there!

That doesn't sound like a fun Sunday whatser how rude of them to mock it! I'm not religious but you at least have respect for those who are when in church services etc.

I have been so lazy today... Don't judge me... I'm on my 9th episode of greys anatomy!!! My OH is away, friends and family all busy so I'm just home on my own and cannot be bothered to do anything!!!

whatser I just had a look on amazon and they do skater style dresses very reasonably priced. Attaching a couple of screen shots for you.

Lynsey that's brilliant, thanks! I'll take a look x

jpeg. No judging here! Enjoy it and do as little as possible. I had my one and only child free day, since school holidays started, last friday and did zero. Had all the plans of catching up on chores but soon as they left the house, I just couldn't do it! (When I knew they were coming back soon I ran the hoover around quickly out of guilt!) Hoping when they are back to school and we have a proper routine again, I'll feel abit more lively. Just popping the shops today has wiped me out.

No problem whatser. As you said your wary of Internet shopping, just take in the size guides and maybe do a month prime membership (£7.99 a month now) as if they don't fit, amazon will collect the return from your home and their refunds are super fast. Basically as soon as it's scanned into the system from the courier.

whatser not sure if you've seen my thread but it's about the babies religion. It's only been bloody trending so I'll nc very soon. Just thought I'd say that I feel your pain!

Maternity clothes suck so I'm sticking with just 2 t-shirts. Beginning to get a bit worried that my bump is too tiny! I'm still half a stone lighter than I was pre pregnancy and despite being 21 weeks people have noticed that I've lost weight

Aww Mrs that's such good news with the heartbeat, hope they can sort out the cervix for you.

I'm like that whatser Asos smock dresses are really good, I wore a couple with DS. Didn't need to be maternity I just went next size up.

Have you looked at Next/H&M/ maternity ranges can't remember who else does them.

I was lucky I got loads through work as part of my uniform but it's mostly too big for me now. Lost 4 stone since having DS so completely different sizes now.
eBay is quite good for maternity wear some with tags as well.

V pleased for you mrs xx

So pleased for you Mrs x

mrs I'm so happy for you and it's rest you finally have an answer for all the spotting. I've been looking at baby stuff today... I don't know why I do it so early! I'm just getting more and more hopeful and excited each day even though I'm only 6+2!! I don't think I'll buy anything for quite a while yet, mainly because I have no room for anything!!

We bought the cot and clothes before 12 weeks. As soon as I had my scan at 9 weeks I felt happy and excited to buy bits

With DS I was picking up bits from after a private scan at 8 weeks. We actually bought the travel system at 14 weeks as it was on offer & extra money off that one day only.
They said we could return it for price paid if anything did happen though.

I need to go through what we actually need but may pick up the odd baby gro & Asda have a blanket we want.

I just feel if you want to buy it, you might as well. Shops do returns, can keep or gift.

I bought a pack of bibs in ikea when I was about 30 weeks with DD and fretted thinking I was being presumptuous and counting chickens and put off buying much else til late. I used to buy stuff on the basis of I would need them regardless of outcome - so mat pads and breast pads and a little blankie I was ok with but nothing that assumed my baby was coming home. Screwed up thinking but I feel a bit similar this time tbh. I just need to work out at somepoint what we still have from DD - we were never having more children so I gave away loads of clothes, sleeping bags, blankets, wrap sling, carseats, bouncer... chucked the pushchair as it went furry, sold the washable nappies. .. so it will be basically a start again process. Still got the high chair and manduca and playmat though! Lovely to hear about the baby shopping going on

I always buy from 16weeks when I have my gender scans.
I suppose if something did go wrong, having bought baby bits would be the a least of the things to worry about or return.
I think it's totally understandable for the ladies who have gone through late losses to feel differently.
Same with miscarriage, ladies who have never had that experience don't really worry themselves with it, , it's like crossing the road, They never been ran over but They know some people have, but it's not something They would worry about every time they cross.
It's true that what they say about walking in another's to shoes.

I say get excited and buy clothes and enjoy being pregnant for the right now, we don't know what's around the corner, we just have to live and move on, we are forced to.
As hard as life is we can't live with the premise of worrying about al the terrible things that could go wrong, we'd never leave the house and certainly never have children!
Be happy girls, even if it's hard, be positive and keep the faith xxxxxx

With respect xxbec, it's simply not possible for everyone to be happy or excited or to enjoy pregnancy or live it without worrying about what can go wrong. Try having PTSD and anxiety disorder triggered by the death of your baby late in pregnancy, and even your consultant fretting that the infection that killed your daughter may also have caused your next baby's brain to develop abnormally and be double and triple checking all the way through. I was a wreck in that pg, and could see no other outcome than at somepoint finding myself giving birth to another dead baby girl. I had frequent panic attacks. I am stronger now but the legacy is there and so no, I do not enjoy pregnancy, I find it traumatic. I am quietly excited in my own little way, but also continue to worry and be unsure and frightened and dare not imagine the future.

Obviously butterfly I don't class what you have gone through as a miscarriage.
You have lost a child, the traumas I have been through don't compare to yours.
I don't know how you have had the strength to carry on with the history you have endured, but I admire your strength immensely.
There must be hope in your heart or you wouldn't have gotten pregnant again? I did put in my post that ladies who have gone through late losses aren't really those I'm referring to within that message.
I haven't in anyway tried to take away from you how utterly bereft you must still feel and how horrendous the heart break must be.
I'm saying that we can either think negatively or positively l, either way what will be will be and we have no control.
Iam personally trying to remain positive through this pregnancy, as early as the days Are right now.
My mother said to me last to just enjoy being pregnant for as long as it lasts and I was just thinking, mum your off your head, how can you say that to me, but this time around I kind of get the message.
Oh and to add I'm not someone who enjoys pregnancy AT ALL, I just muddle through it to get the treasure an the end of the rainbow.
I've never had a straight forward pregnancy and each one I've had issues to deal with.
My oldest son has autism, my 2nd child has difficultys also.
I'm a mother of 5 children with vast and varied experience, if you have taken offence to anything I have said iam very sorry for you, this thread has already got the fear factor, we all now the things that can go wrong.
I take the attitude that we should be as positive to each other as we can.

Definitely miscarrying now. Same exact date as last time. Argh. Cramping is annoyingly painful (less worrying, more irritating) and I don't even have any pads in the house.

Can't decide what to do about work tomorrow - I have classes in the evening but I have my driving theory test in the morning, which I'll go to, it'll take 5 mins and take ages to get another appointment. DH reckons I should call work first thing though.

Oh bertie I'm really really sorry.... Are you with DH? Are you definitely sure?? I would say do not go to work. I had 10 days off last time just to let as much of it happen at home as possible. Maybe try and see a doctor or something tomorrow. Look after yourself.

I'm sorry I think I may have over reacted when I read your last paragraph, it caught me on the raw and I am a prickly customer these days. Let's agree that we are finding our own ways through and they aren't the same but I hope it all turns out ok eventually.

X post. bertie Here's a hand to hold. Can you send DH out for pads to at least relieve you of that worry? I would also phone in sick to work and take it easy. You aren't going to have your mind on work as it is. I really hope it is not what you think x

Bertie my luv, I'm thinking of you, definetly, please, take some time off work and take a nice warm bath if you can, have some painkillers while your running it then try your best to go to sleep.
For me the night time is my weakest time when I'm upset, if you could possibly go to sleep and then make a plan for the morning? EPU? Docs? Hozzy?
We are all here for you xxx

Awww Bertie, I'm so sorry, can your DH get to any shop that is open for pads?

Have you got any hot water bottles? If you're definitely sure then you can use any painkillers you feel comfortable to.

Definitely ring work. Take it easy as much as possible.

Yes I think I will go to docs tomorrow, just want to go in the afternoon so I can get home and DH will be here, not in the morning and I have to come home and be on my own with DS all day. I would ask DH to take the day off work too but unfortunately we learned this last time - it doesn't help if it keeps stopping and starting and we might have to do this multiple times. It's just a shame DS is not back at school yet. It's better if I wait for DH to get home too so I don't have to leave DS alone. I will be gone maybe 30-40 minutes but I don't like doing it. And don't particularly want to take him.

I'm OK, I have light periods and it wasn't very heavy last time. Not sure if we have painkillers either (!) and you can only get those from pharmacies annoyingly so have to wait for those. I have some washable pads which I find more comfortable anyway so will probably pop one of those on in a bit, using pantyliners for now. I do prefer though to have something disposable so I can just put it away and not look or think about the contents too much. I think it would be too small to see but just in case.