Staying posifrickentive- Thread 11 for ladies pg after mc

[LynseyH]

New thread!! The other one closed down!

Yay for dino and kate. Great news for you both!

I've just booked a gender scan 🙄 one week from tomorrow we will know what our little one is and also breaks up the wait until my 20 wk scan! So excited.

Welcome adventure, I know you feelings all to well.
My last MC was a missed one with a similar story to you.
This time I was determined not to go for any intervention before the 12wks and just see what happens as nothing we do or don't do will make a different outcome, I however had a really anxious week last week and buckled, booked a scan with the EPU and saw a heart beat on Tuesday 7wks or so.
Obviously a scan is only reassurance for that moment in time but still it gave me some hope, there's statistics from the miscarriage association that say if you see a heartbeat at 8 weeks, you've got a 98% chance of going on to having a full pregnancy! I think those odds sound good adventure xxxx

Welcome blossom and congrats xxxx

Hello blossom! Congratulations on your pregnancy and don't be shy to tell us your worries. As you can see, I've had a good old grumble today that wasn't even pregnancy related
Thank you tinkly. Tears keep taking me surprise but (for once!) my partner has really been there for me which has helped. He's not great with emotion at all but this week has been a roller coaster and he didn't even seem embarrassed when I got emotional at my 4 yr old school first day at school!
I'll get through this cos what other choice is there?!

Hi adventure and blossom and congratulations.

I agree about keeping as busy as possible. In my non-busy times the only thing I can think about is this pregnancy and then I just worry and get myself down. I work full time, have a toddler and I'm just embarking on a big extension at home which is useful as frantically googling kitchens and paint colours stops that temptation to type in things like '6 weeks and symptoms have disappeared' (which they have).

I've decided against an early scan. I've found it so hard to decide and have swung between really wanting one and then not. My thinking is if something is wrong there is nothing I can do about it at this stage but if I saw a heart beat I'd get my hopes up and then if I went on to have a loss I'd be doubly heartbroken. Tomorrow though I'll probably completely have changed my mind!

At the moment I'm trying to be as detached as possible which feels a bit sad but hopefully will help me cope if it goes wrong. I've not let myself think about the future whereas last time I was placing my pregnancy throughout the year eg. thinking how pregnant I would be on holiday/by DPs birthday, etc. and then it just makes those dates hard too as you remember what you've lost.

Don't know if any of that makes sense but I hope everyone else who feels in limbo is able to cope in the way that works best for them.

Welcome Adventure & Blossom.

Lynsey would it be possible for you to go to any baby groups once this one is born? I know what you mean sometimes as I moved to a new area last year where OH is from & works. Thanks to DS I met a group of mum's at a baby group who I see weekly at swimming, others at my group then we meet up when we can. It has helped a bit.
But if you don't feel comfortable then you don't.

Came back to my old town yesterday & stayed at friends with DS who screamed on & off for 3 hours after midnight so I'm shattered. Made me really homesick.

Bump has popped & I cannot get comfortable on this train. 14 weeks today & everyone is so excited for me but I kept forgetting I was pregnant.

Really hope I haven't missed anyone out, can't remember beyond 5 seconds.

Ants for what it's worth I made the same call as you, that an early scan would add to rather than alleviate my anxieties even though the EPU would have given me an early scan at 8 weeks based on my previous 2 MCs. I held out to the 12 week scan and kept myself busy, and was so happy to see my healthy baby for the first time then. Like you say, it's very much a case of each of us finding our own way through, making our own choices based on what's right for us.

purple and loz how are you getting on today?

blossom on keeping calm and occupied - I'm finding my pregnancy yoga class helpful, I'm also reading a Penny Vincenzi book for half an hour a night before bed which is helping me unwind and sleep better, I'm trying to exercise regularly, I'm keeping a pregnancy journal to store all the little things, and focussing on the next milestone is also helping - so at the moment it's the twenty week scan, all being well I'll then move on to practical baby planning stuff, e.g. researching equipment I need, starting to gradually buy things.

Blossom I had a scan at 8 weeks this time around as my midwife pushed for it really & it meant a heartbeat would be seen.

DS keeps me busy, also I'm on project finish this house we moved into last year so am decluttering/tidying/deep cleaning ready to paint in a few weeks.

Also doing pregnancy yoga which is really helping anxiety with the breathing exercises & learning to knit.

In the beginning it really is a day at a time & trying not to bottle it in if you can.

Hi to the newbies and everyone suffering the trauma that is early pregnancy. Well done to all of you keeping yourself busy. I'm not sure how I got through the first bit. I was very resigned to feeling negative and daren't hope. It's so hard. My anxiety is off the chart today. Little miss has moved and isn't a wriggly today. I'm feeling movements though but the other day she was constantly kicking. I know she has moved and I shouldn't worry. It's too early for a patten and dd never fell into a pattern but still, I feel so anxious. I think its all tied in with a traumatic week with dd's nan falling ill. She died today so I think it's a combination of grief, relief and anxiety. It's all a bit awful really. Sorry to moan. X

Whatser I'm so so sorry about your DH's nan... So sad. Not surprising you're feeling anxious too. Thoughts are with you and your family

I'm so sorry Whatser. I'm not surprised it's all a bit too much. Thinking of you

Whatser so sorry about your DH's nan.
Hope you start getting some wiggles & kicks soon.

Whatser so sorry about dh's nan.

Please take care of yourself xxx

dino that's what I did with my little ones, went to a baby group. Was a huge step for me! The group changed though to quite a clique type thing and the friends I made there already have there own set of friends here so I try to keep in touch with them but it just hasn't felt right.
Mumsnet has become my support basically and I'm ok to the most part with my own company.
I think the way I feel right now I don't really have the ability to be a good friend and think people would just get fed up of me to be honest! I've tried too long and it's not worked out. But I do really appreciate your suggestion!

whatser I'm so sorry to hear about your nan-in-law. Even though it was coming, your never prepared for when it does happen and it's still incredibly tough. Lots of love your way tonight

Hope you're doing okay Loz.

That's good you've tried them & know Lynsey, they do get so cliquey. I started mine when we had one get cancelled & because I just wanted one group where there wasn't singing. We do try & talk to everyone & I make sure everyone gets a hot drink as I remember those days with lukewarm tea.
Glad you have got a support network.

Going almost home makes me want to move back badly even though we're so settled up here & in a great routine with DS.

Came home to lots of mail & low risk for all the tests so that's great news & going in a week Monday to check cervical length.

Thinking of u whatser X
Woke up after having a bad dream, I hate bad dreams!
I'm trying to keep myself busy, I'm planning a redo of the decor through the majority of the house which is giving me stuff to think about but I'm feeling all over the place, one second positive the next panicky. I run our roofing business day to day and I can't even be bothered speaking to customers, I'm so preoccupied, this is a hateful time emotionally right now.
Also to add, there's a really awful skanky woman that goes to my school and I know of her as she tried to sleep with my BFF's hubby, well she's pregnant with a little girl apparently and I found out through some gossip that she was supposedly snorting cocaine at a funeral!
I'm just at a total loss as to how somebody like her gets to have babies! Shocking 😡😡😡

Bec I hope distracting yourself is working pls try and sleep a bit.

I know what you mean about how some people do all the wrong things and seem to sail through being pg. when I saw go on Monday she asked if I had been taking my vitamins and doing the right things when I said I was she was like it's typical isn't it something is going wrong with my pg but some people do what they want and are fine.

Hope u feel a bit better in the morning things always seem worse at this time xxxx

That's so awful Bec! When I had my MC I became extremely angry with people who smoked while pregnant etc and just thought how unfair it was that lovely people have losses.

I had virtually no sleep last night! The slats on my side of the bed are broken and the mattress nearly hit the floor last night!!! Got up and fixed them but after that I was awake. Really need the weekend here now!!

Loz how are you doing??

Great news on the tests dolerite

JPEG that's not the best way to be woken up.

I'm ok thanks for asking, resigned to the fact I will hear bad news today and if that is the case I hope I can get it sorted quickly as I have already been dealing with it since Tue. Will come back and let u know.

I hope everyone else is well this morning xxx

Good luck today loz. I really hope its good news.

whatser sorry to hear about your dh's nan

Sounds like I'm not the only one struggling to sleep. I go to bed exhausted but then insomnia keeps me awake for hours. I feel like I haven't slept when I wake up. Yesterday I slept through all my alarms and woke up at 8am which i when I start work! Luckily only 10mins down the road but still rather late and flustered.

One day until the weekend. Does anyone have nice plans?

Good luck today Loz I'm thinking positive thoughts for you.
Oh man what a thing to happen JPEG, swap sides if I where u lol
I fell back asleep and woke back up feeling like I had a hangover, typical I suppose.
I wanted to take the children to littlehampton at the weekend enjoy what's left of any good weather but it looks crappy so unsure what to do now.

Ok soooo just had my scan and there is a perfectly formed sac at the top of my uterus but it is empty so not sure if I am a week later than I thought of if there is no baby ( which I think is the case), have to wait another 10 days for another scan to see if anything has changed or to see if I miscarry in the meantime.

I thought last time was bad but at least it happened quickly.

No idea what to do about work though .......

Hope all you lovely ladies are enjoying the sun x x x

Oh loz I'm so sorry for this awful limbo your in. I wish I could say something to help but I know nothing really can right now. Stay strong cos there is still hope there xx