Staying posifrickentive- Thread 10 for ladies pg after mc

[LynseyH5]

I've made the new thread, hope I'm not stepping on anyone's toes... just wanted to make sure we had one.

You too This is where our lost naivety sucks big time!

Aww lynsey poor you
I get the fear now and again out the blue for no reason, I hate it! I was so focussed on getting out the first trimester I was unprepared for the weeks following it up to the next scan. It just feels like it's stretching on forever plus you lose your symptoms so it's just like being in limbo!

Yes exactly mac. You've said it perfectly.
I hate this feeling so much and really feel for anyone else in the same position.
I'm actually at my parents until Tuesday and not sure if that's what's contributed towards it. My next day delivery is to come here as I was so stressed earlier. Feel no better now but tiredness is creeping in aswel now so I haven't the energy to worry much more today.

I've got the fear currently. 10+3 but symptoms pretty much gone. Booking appointment tomorrow but scan will still be 2 weeks away.

Try not to read too much into symptoms Miss. Honestly, mine were more severe with my lost baby than either of my other pregnancies. Is an early scan and option?

I've already had an early scan at 8 weeks

I'm just being impatient about it all really. I want to be excited but time is going soooo slowly and it just doesn't feel like there's anything in there!!

I've had scans at 8, 11, 12.5 and 16 weeks. I am officially the mad scan lady. I've paid for 2 of them. I'm insane!

I'm really hoping I'll get an early scan... I'll go crazy waiting 7 more weeks! I've only had one MC so not sure they will do it. Maybe I'll persuade my OH to pay for a private one!

Jpeg with early scans it frustratingly depends on your midwife, mine was brilliant & hates my hospital's current system but managed to get me one.
Hopefully they will give you one.

Loss of symptoms can be related to placenta taking over Miss Clarke.

Hope everyone had a good weekend.

I've taken the plunge & this week will buy DS a big brother top to announce to family. I'm scared about jinxing everything but I can give it to my friend & I want to focus on good after scan.

I had one mmc and a cp. I sobbed on the phone to the midwife about how anxious I was and she suggested the appointment. The epu nurse had told me to ask for a reassurance scan too. My early private scan was £40 which isn't too bad I didn't think?

I went to my doctor who could see I was very anxious and a little bit bonkers so referred me for an early scan at 9 weeks on the basis of 1 previous mc. However, I did have to chase up the hospital and cry down the phone to an ante-natal secretary to get my scan. This was just due to staffing issues at the hospital and I ended up getting a cancellation.

jpeg I had early ones automatically this time as I've had 4 miscarriages but I know my friend - and I know this isn't ideal - was so desperate she said she'd had some bleeding and they sent her for a scan. I know that's not good karma and morally tricky with the NHS in the state it's in, but just thought I'd share. If you can get a private one for £40 that is v good value. They are £110 where we live. Xx

Thanks kate they are £100 where we live too. I've just called the doctor to see what I do about booking in, they said to see the doc before I book in with the midwife. Hopefully I can persuade the doctor an early scan would help me!

Just be honest. We've been through hell. Don't sugar coat it. My mum said to me that I should 'lay it on thick' about how I was feeling. The truth of the matter is, I didn't need to. Only people who have lost babies will understand that.

Fingers crossed. If you are worried and it's causing you distress, in my experience, they tend to help. I've had a history of panic attacks (in my mid 20s, they were debilitating) and while it feels now like they happened to a different person, the NHS is still v wary of having a repeat attack. But equally they take any mental health risk seriously in my experience and my god what is a bigger threat to our sanity and happiness than the fear of losing a baby! Not that you will. Good luck.

It's our last day of holiday today!! Noooo!!! Two days closer to our 11 week scan. Shit shit shit. I'm v nervous. What if, what if...

Does anyone know whether I'll have a 12/13 week scan too if I've had an 11 week one under my recurrent miscarriage clinic??

Has anyone else at 10ish weeks have the beginning of a bump?! In the morning no matter how much I suck my belly in you can make out a little swelling. Although I keep telling myself it could just be the drugs and the bloating.

Xxx

I've been told by two midwifes now that my mmc was mismanaged. Leaving me on my own at 3 months pregnant because it was Christmas was incredibly poor practice. I've had so much support this time as a result. I'm seeing the consultant tomorrow because of my previous hypertension and my mum, Nanny and auntie's blood clots issues. The mmc is also on those notes for the consultant. So far, I've had an appointment with a professional at least once a month from booking in. More at times. I've been very lucky and I'm very grateful.

I've popped a little today Hopeful, at 10 +4. Really hard too.

Hope the doctor can sort a scan for you Jpeg.

Glad you've got good support Whatser & to be left like that over Christmas really wasn't good practice.

Hope everyone is having a good morning. I still have to eat more but it's only every half hour at the moment.
Did so much cleaning & tidying yesterday, going to crack on more today around DS. It's definitely helping to keep busy.

jpeg just to say the official policy where I am is I think you need 3 m/c before you get an early reassurance scan. But I was given one after only 2 m/cs because I get so sick and was struggling with the nausea (last one was a MMC so the nausea wasn't a guarantee that things were good for me). I saw a h/b at 7 weeks, so although it is a long time ago now and I still worry things may have gone wrong since, it is definitely reassuring at least (having next scan privately on Wednesday at about 11 weeks ... eek). So GPs can (at least here) take other factors into account, including sickness, anxiety etc.

Hope you get somebody sympathetic. Definitely worth trying at least.

Should probably say, it was an 8 week scan by dates, but I measured 7 weeks. Not very accurate that early though so I'm still hoping I might have really been closer to 8. GP was pretty keen to wait until 8 because of the risk otherwise that there might not be much to see/an ambiguous result.

Morning all
Not much to report here other than further expansion and more pelvic pain which is irritating me a lot as it's limiting what I can do. After being incapacitated for so long by sickness I feel well now and it's sunny and there is so much I want to do!

Sorry to hear so many of you are struggling so much with anxiety, it's really tough. Sounds like a lot of you have been lucky wangling early scans. I have to admit I bear something of a grudge against the NHS in that respect - after both my losses I have been pretty much promised the moon on a stick by consultants in terms of future care. It has been then very unforthcoming. Both times early scans were suggested and they never happened. It's hard because it's just when you feel vulnerable and scared and less able to speak up. I think also I have a tendency to panic and struggle in the safety of home, and I shut down emotionally and go out wth "happy mask" and behave nicely when I'm out, so they see me faking it. No idea quite how to get round that as it's such ingrained behaviour but I think they think I am doing just fine as a result. Consultant tomorrow and I need to try and be more honest. I need some 2nd tri scans to help me get through this bit. Officially 17 weeks today.

purple good luck for your bloods today.

MissClarke 10+ weeks is such a typical time for symptoms to ease or go away - the placenta is taking over and the huge leaps in hcg calm right down. Everything crossed that's all it is, but I do understand the fear

Mac and lynsey I am with you on this! It is a long strange scary wait between the sickness etc dropping off and feeling proper movements. The hardest stretch for me definitely. I think I've felt little plinks from inside but I don't feel sure and the not knowing is driving me a bit nuts! I have IBS so am used to a "lively" abdomen and tuning it out so I am putting sensations down to gas etc like normal.

DD is soooo on board with this baby already, she loves to stroke my tummy and talk to it and give it a kiss and talk with big shining eyes about everything that will happen/she will do when the baby is here. It's gorgeous and terrifying - how could I ever forgive myself if we lose the baby? It would devastate her completely. She's dealt with so much so fabulously already, she knows all about her sister and brother and they are part of the family to her, but she had never known about them until after they were gone, so the bond wasn't there and it was more abstract.

My GP referred me for an early scan after just the one loss (molar pregnancy). That was at 10 weeks due to how busy they were and me not being able to get time off at short notice. Booked a private one at 8 weeks when I couldn't wait any longer! It costs £110 where I am too. £40 would be great!

12 week scan is this afternoon... I know I've had 2 positive ones but I still feel sick with worry. Does it ever get easier?!

Kate I imagine whether you get another scan will depend on if baby is big enough for them to get the Nuchal reading (if you've opted for it). I was 10+6 and the sonographer said it was just a couple of days out so they booked it for today. (12+3)
I've definitely got a tummy too - might be too much food on holiday though!

Good luck for your scan nasch!!! What time is it? Thinking of you. Thanks for your advice. I'll see what they say on Wedns. I definitely want all the testing I can get but I imagine I'll get that sorted at my booking appointment on Thursday (considering all is well at my scan).

Thinking of you too purple. On both fronts.

butterfly you sound like such a remarkable woman. To have such strength humility and utter kindness after what you've been through... Your DD and the one growing are v lucky to have you as their mum. I do admire you.

missclarke my symptoms are tailing off too and we are at the same sort of stage. I'm 10w6 today. It's scary as hell but hoping it's just the placenta. When is your next scan?

Sending lots of love & luck to everyone.
Xxx

Good luck for your scan nasch, are you having the nuchal & bloods screening?

Thank you kate what a lovely thing to say. I agree with nasch that if they can get a nuchal measurement (I think from 11 or 11+1?) then that will probably be it, so fingers crossed you measure 10+6 and then you can go back for another one a couple of weeks later! It's a bit variable anyway depending on who is doing the scanning - if you watch them they take several crown to rump measurements and they usually vary by about 4 days. It was interesting actually chatting to the sonographer last time I was there - I was 13+3 and she said that the baby is so much bigger and more developed closer to 14 weeks compared to 11 weeks (it's about twice the size!) so she could tick off a few more things than she would have been able to if I'd been nearer the 11 weeks side of things - she could see the bladder and both kidneys and all 4 chambers of the heart present, and showed me - amazing how they tell anything from that mass of fuzzy dots tbh, I had to trust her on that!

All went well. Worrying for nothing again!
Blurry picture because baby was moving around so much. I think the 8 week pics I've got are the best! Question is: will I be able to relax for the next 8 weeks?

Aww lovely scan Nasch! So glad it went well.

Good luck for bloods today purple.