Pregnant at forty and over - thread 3

[Marquand]

To continue support for mothers to be over 40.

Welcome cake and congratulations!

She's beautiful blondes so clear! I think I might book a scan this week as they're under £40 but oh will go nuts.

Thanks Womble and Blondes, sorry for your troubles and losses, none of us seem to have had an easy time. The sane part of my brain knows that it's still fairly early but the other lunatic part (which appears to be taking over more and more) easily persuades me that things are not well!! Roll on tues, at least I'll know!! Hope everyone else is well

Yes she's turned. Head same as you tho across my body - but have the same head butting. I thought was feet and kicks as was him down but scan lady said head and yes get some serious hard head butts !!!

I packed bubs bag this afternoon. Know have 9/10w but if came early didn't want her in hospital off casts

Think I'm nesting 😂😂

Vests and babygros - in newborn and 0/3

Going home outfit. Dress cardi tights booties

Nappies and cream

Water wipes

Nappy sacks

Bottles and pre made formula. Fab little kit from aptamil

Dummy

Coat and car seat

Blankets

Pink bear. Of course

Mussies

Bibs

Baby towel

Mittens. Booties hats

What have I forgotten ......, xx

Think you have covered most of it 😊 careful the coat isn't too puffy as won't be safe for car seat - as long as it's not one of the mahoosive all in ones should be ok. If you are planning on bottle feeding some infacol may be useful to have.
I hugely overpacked for DD and forgot about myself.

Blooop. Def book a scan. It's so reassuring and TBH our private ones are clearer and scan lady much more informative and explains all

Big diff from 16/30 so 4mths to 7.5

I couldn't get an appointment for a private scan for two weeks so I'm as well waiting for my 20w scan. Meh

That's bad. Know they are busy but my clinic would squeeze in. ESP if say worried

Just got back from my clinic in Riga (where I got my IUI) and also decided for an ultrasound there. My DH was with me and asked my dad to come along (don't have mum anymore). The scan (equivalent to 20w NHS anomaly scan) was so thorough and got so many photos including a 3D image. Suffice to say my little one is developing well! And she was so active and gave us High Five! Loved it! Dad was in such an awe and emotional! Bless him! My 20w with NHS is on the 31st, will still go for it. It's so nice to see her every time there's a scan! Oh and I bought a pram while there, much cheaper! And saved £300 on a pram alone (3-in-1 combination).
At my 12w NHS scan was given extra scans to attend due to my "ancient" age! So will go for 28, 32 and 36 weeks and see a midwife inbetween. Pleased about it.
Think I've started feeling my little one ! Unless it's a hunger rambling noise in my tummy?! Hmmm
Other than that just very pleased and received that everything is going well!

Bloop I saw you said you were worrying over not feeling movement particularly and if it's any consolation nor am I really. A few flutterings some days and then nothing for several days. Been for 20 week scan today and all was good so I'm sure you'll be the same x

Hi all, I am still here! I wrote a long post over the weekend and then lost it and was too disheartened to type it out again. Happened on another thread too, think
My signal has been a bit iffy.

Bloop I am feeling anxious too, no particular reason why but I am also not feeling any movement. I don't think that's unusual but if course it would be much more reassuring if we were! I almost booked an extra scan and then decided I just need to get on with things and stop fretting. But I keep thinking about it... . My 20-week scan is on 8th, so 2 weeks today. I can't wait.

If all is well at next scan I will allow myself to start buying the bits I need.

Blondes your DD is looking like a real baby now! I guess it's mostly just growth now and organ maturation. Exciting. You have also made me want to make lists and pack bags now

New torture is coming from carpal tunnel syndrome which is making my hands alternately numb and painful at night, and keeping me awake. Grr! DS is at nursery today so I am currently back in bed with a cup of tea. I think I know how this might end zzzzzzxx

Thanks cake I should be more patient.

My scan is 7th christmasseacow I'm anxious before every scan hoping it's ok.

It's awful waiting, I had several melt downs in the last few weeks waiting for the scan, I still don't have many feelings of the baby moving. It's such a scary time waiting. Hugs to you both

Popping back after a few days of spew and in-laws.

Went to my choir for the first time in a month this eve and realised I just can't do what I could do 6 months or even 3 months ago! An hour of singing and I was totally knackered. Add in little Bic's regular kicks and I feel like I've just done a few rounds with Tyson!

Mighty I've been getting soft fruit cravings too! Cherries, blueberries, nectarine, pineapple, melon, strawberries... yummy! The frozen packs from coop (and Aldi) are good to bulk out a weeks worth of fringe fruit salad!

Bloop please don't worry - from 17-22 my flutters and stretch pains came and went sporadically!

Blondes wow!! What a clear picture!!

Cake welcome and glad the 20wk went well!!!

Risky glad your scan went well too!

Womble I've got the penguin waddle too! Sometimes I catch myself and chuckle.... mostly I just set off earlier and catch more lifts ;)

What are people doing about telling people beyond close friends/ family?

I outed myself in work today at 24+2 - left my "baby on board" badge on and on display on my jacket on my chair. Office gossip grabbed me about 3ish and said "don't worry - you needn't tell anyone else. I'll do that for you tomorrow". No sense of irony!

All good here. 31w tomorrow. Bubs bag is packed. Now need to sort mine out

Silly q but never given birth. Do we wear hospital gowns or own clothes so take a baggy top that I don't care gets covered in blood slime etc

Plus towels. If you have a cs assume you don't bleed down below. Plus what towels do you recommend ? The extra thickest you can find?

I wore pyjamas when I went into labour then whisked off the bottoms when I needed more access down there. I wasn't covered in blood or slime but I did end up getting a section.

There's still blood with a section so take the pads and pants. I started with the maternity pads but had to double up for a few days but I didn't bleed for long so quickly went back to normal sanitary towels. I think it was Asda or boots pads- I'd have liked them thicker to be honest.

I ended up in a hospital gown - I took a cheapie button down nightshirt/ t shirt thing from primark ( short sleeve as labour wards are hellish hot!)
Dark colour pj bottoms (for hiding leaks) or joggers for post natal ward that have a stretchy waist. Also Big granny pants to hold maternity pads and also if you do have c section will not rub on scar. ASDA do packs of 5 for around £4.
Asda and Tesco maternity pads are good. £1 a pack and always buy more than you think you will need. I didn't as I didn't expect to be in for so long (5 days ) You will bleed regardless of Natural or c section delivery.
Sorry I'm not painting a great picture am I!

FAr better to be informed womble I don't know whether cs or natural yet. Whatever they advise at 37w

I have those ASDA knickers 😂

So thick maternity towels and stretchy nightie /dark trousers

Not sure I will go on an natal ward as have private room. All rooms are at my hospital

Those knickers have been great for me too lol. I hate anything under the bump..
TBH Tesco and Asda pads are thick and long - I bought some disposable pants with pads in last time and they were useless.
I've ordered some dark bottoms also just for my dignity - had a PPH last time and TMI alert but thank goodness for the dark trousers. My bed was the furthest from the bathroom I'm hoping for a private room this time (5 days on post natal was hell on earth) but it's if there are any available. Hopefully my stay won't be as long this time - here's hoping!

Hi all,

Interesting thread - am 43 and 25 weeks with first. Trying to decide on elective c versus natural and wondering what others views are. Most people telling me to go natural but had one consultant at a private clinic say because of age I could insist on elective c section which he thought I should do as safest option. Don't know how to make the decision really, just want to do what's best for the baby and to ensure it's all okay. Hate the hospital I'm attached to so feel a bit unsure where to go for advice.
Congratulations to all.

Welcome fudge and congrats
I can only speak from personal experience - I had my first child at 37 and was induced at 40+14 but had her naturally without intervention. I'm 32 weeks now with DC2 and was having to consider a c section as my baby was breech but he had now turned. Personally it terrified me! I did have a bad time of it with the induction (more so from the care I had) and wanted to try and do it naturally again this time with minimum intervention and a more active labour.
Everyone is different - I think the thing for me is I know I would recover better/more quickly from a natural labour and also having a 4 yo to contend with as well.
Of course you can never know what will happen - I may end up with a c section but I may get to have the birth I want also. What ever is the best decision at the time for baby and myself.
I personally wouldn't elect for a c section if I had no medical reason to. I'm high risk but even my consultant is adamant a natural birth is the best choice for me and baby. It's a very personal decision though and at the end of the day you do what you feel is best for youband your baby.

Thanks womble and congrats to you too. How many weeks are you? It's really nice to hear anothers story. I'm a bit scared I suppose and just done't want to do anything that puts little one at risk. I can see the pros and cons of both and don't know how to make the decision, guess it will become clearer as I get closer. I really hate my hospital which doesn't help. I was fine with natural until consultant said I should insist, didn't think it would be so much my choice I guess. My worry is that if I end up with an emergency section at say 3am with no doctors around wouldn't I be better of to have had it planned at a day and time when best surgeons around. Goodness, there's a lot about birth they don't tell you about.

Hotfudge - am nearly same as you ; 42 (nearly 43) and nearly 25wks with first. No-one's spoken to me about birth plans yet. Should they have?? Have NCT classes starting in 7 weeks but seeing consultant rather than MW and no mention of the big day

Thanks Womble & Bloop - all really helpful info!

Fudge. Welcome. It's a mine field. I'm leaving to doctors to decide. Would prefer natural birth as better recovery but if they say have cs I will

We spoke about it at 28w check so don't worry yet teaspoon

Why don't you like the hospital? Can you go to another?

Teaspoon yes we're nearly the same - except I'm nearly 44 , will be when she comes - feels very old at the moment! People say, oh you're not too old to have a baby, then I tell them how old I am and I'm met with a silent nod and mmmmmm.

Only been talking about the c-section with midwife because I've asked questions - so don't worry it's not a proper birth plan, just me trying to get ahead of myself - I had one consultant at a private clinic tell me I could insist on a c section because of my age which has set the whole thing rolling basically as I didn't realise I could, and it's the sort of decision I end up obsessing over a bit - sorry I probably shouldn't have cursed you all with the knowledge as I'd rather have not known and just been told what to do.

Blondes the hospital is just a bit run down and everyone so disorganised. My consultant seems to be half asleep every time I see her. I'm going to start looking at others next week but worried I've left it all a bit late. Your 4d scans are amazing by the way - such a moving thing to see, your story is very touching too.

Waves to everyone else.