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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnant at forty and over - thread 3

999 replies

Marquand · 29/06/2016 09:17

To continue support for mothers to be over 40.

OP posts:
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Teaspoon74 · 27/01/2017 18:40

Thanks Blondes - might mention on weds when I have my 25wk with my original consultant (I seem to see her alternative appts, so every 6 weeks ish.

Fudge I get the "feeling old" bit! But apparently my MW has patients through late 40s incl 49 & tells me I'm just a bairn! And I'm like you - would rather know options than not!!

First consultant appt I had I asked her to run through all the things she was concerned about/ considering and then talk me through mitigation. Which meant family and friends thought I was being paranoid and anxious when I'd talk about the possibilities of what was/is to come. But it actually reassured me! Not to say I'm not terrified at the idea of late stillbirth etc, but at least I know what the plan and handling is to try and anticipate/ handle if it becomes a higher risk!

waves back

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/01/2017 21:13

Bubs is ivf. Not sure if your two are?

I've always been told they don't like 40/40 with ivf

Ie don't go past 40w when over 40 apparently a risk of stillborn :(

Likely I will be induced at 39w ish

Womble75 · 27/01/2017 21:41

My consultant said he would play it by ear re going past 40 weeks. He said that you could substitute any combination of things alongside being overdue & 40 and the risk would be the same or greater. He did mention it would be monitored and sweeps would happen earlier but he isn't that worried at the moment about not going over.
Again, it could be the fact it's not my first pregnancy and I had DD at 37 so not exactly young.. and she was induced at 42 weeks, so maybe my previous is indicative of his decision.
But ATM I trust him( which happens rarely with me and Drs) and prepared to be led by his opinion. When I mentioned a c section he looked at me if I had 2 heads and said what on earth would you want that for?

I don't know much about the difference with it being IVF and what other factors are considered though. It's a minefield this pregnancy lark!!

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/01/2017 21:44

I can't see the diff with ivf. How can drugs 9/10/11mths previously contribute to a stillborn :(

But I'm listening to them

Plus this is my first baby as well so maybe more cautious

Teaspoon74 · 27/01/2017 22:19

I think the 40/40 thing may be at play with me also - 42 & high BMI.

Womble75 · 27/01/2017 23:00

Of course it's wise to be cautious and
I would be the same with my first. :)
Teaspoon I've a high BMI as well but it's never been mentioned this time round.

ChristmasSeacow · 28/01/2017 00:30

Hello and welcome Fudge

I had my first DC at age 37, this will be my second at 42. I went to 40+6 last time and then had a natural labour (started by waters breaking when I was crawling about trying to fix the Sky+ box - I recommend it!). Quite a quick Labour with just a tens machine for pain relief.

In the intervening period I have been responsible for a high-profile maternity unit and so I have got to know a lot of obstetricians personally and have been exposed to how maternity units are staffed, manage risks and incidents etc. The unfortunate consequence of being a senior manager is that only the concerns and incidents came to my attention (no one ever recounted 'normal boring' deliveries to me) so I ended up with quite a skewed view on the risk of childbirth! I know that in reality it is almost always fine but ignorance was definitely better!

With regards to your decision Fudge I will only say re. Staffing that there will not be 'no doctors' at 3am. Worth asking your hospital what their out of hours arrangements are to. E completely reassured but in my place ward midwife staffing ratios are the same 24/7 (apart from management staff who tend to work office hours, also more admin during the day because that's when all the planned admissions happen). Medically there always has to be a duty consultant ON SITE, as well as registrars. All the departmental consultants take turns at being on call on a 24/7 rota so you are as likely to get a 'good one' at night as during the day. There will also be an emergency theatre team on site out of hours, on standby for emergency sections. In my old trust (quite a big one) this was completely separate from non-maternity services, ie that's all they were there for, no burst appendixes or whatever. I would expect that to be the norm. Also always a theatre kept free and ready for emergency Caesarians.

I am not trying to persuade you one way or another, just hoping to allay your fears about people being on around and on standby! There are certainly more people around during the day but many are busy in clinics and with scheduled work so for a crash section it is always the duty consultant and emergency team (assuming you are having an NHS delivery). Also, if it reassures you further, Labour is a properly round-the-clock process as many women Labour at night naturally, so they are not 'ghost towns' like other wards can be! I turned up at my local hospital at 4am to have my baby and the place was heaving.

My approach last time was that I wanted a natural delivery (for a quicker recovery time) if possible but was very open to whatever was required and recommended. What I really didn't want was an emergency section, for the reason of it being v stressful and scary (obviously!) and because if you haven't got an epidural in already they tend to need to give you a general anaesthetic for speed, so you'd be asleep for the birth. Hence, if there was any reason to be concerned about the delivery (due to baby's position, for instance) I would opt for an elective section but if not I would go for natural. That was my approach last time, same this time.

I would recommend you get views from the consultants and midwives (who each have different perspectives) and then do whatever you are comfortable with, and try not to feel pressured (easier said than done, I know!)

Bloopbleep · 30/01/2017 10:22

Woohoo I got a call from the scan place today and they've got an appointment this evening. It's only a week away from my 20w scan but I'm so anxious at lack of movement or anything really that I'm going for it. Hopefully the baby will flash their bits for us so we can work out whether it's a boy or a girl. Hopefully it's still alive in there Confused -I'm stupidly nervous about this.

Teaspoon74 · 30/01/2017 15:14

Aw Bloop - sure you're both fine, but glad you've got a scan sorted.

Gizmojo · 30/01/2017 16:05

Oh, bloop, really pleased you managed to get a scan sorted. Let us know how you get on.

Very interested to read viewpoints on cs - I'm also thinking about all that already, even though there's no need! We do like to give ourselves extra to think about, don't we?! Grin

Blondeshavemorefun · 30/01/2017 16:39

Fab you have a scan. They just reassure

Had another one today as my usual 3w. Bubs is heading up for 5kbs. Gulps and isn't quite 32w yet

Has turned back to breech (again) but hopefully will turn again

Told consultant today I don't want a cs ideally but if they advise it if bubs doesn't turn then will have one

Bloopbleep · 30/01/2017 17:07

I'm getting ridiculously anxious. Scans in a hour. Ugh

Iusuallylovecake · 30/01/2017 17:20

Great news that you've got a scan bloop, I know how you feel being so worried but I'm sure all will be fine. Let us all know how it goes.
Re the going over due date or not, my consultant has also said I won't be allowed to go over either. No idea if that means cs or not, I have consultant apt tomo so will see if anything is said.
Had awful weekend, my mum has had major stroke so been really stressed. Hoping it doesn't affect baby so worrying over that as well as mum. Horrible time 😓

Bloopbleep · 30/01/2017 20:41

I'm sorry to hear about your mum cake I hope she recovers quickly.

Scan went ok. It's a boy! Baby was facing down again like at 12w scan so couldn't get a good picture. I'm hoping he has actually moved since the 12 weeks scan and isn't stuck in that position. I tried wriggling BF to get it to tthe run but it didn't work. Maybe he's just lazy

Blondeshavemorefun · 30/01/2017 21:03

Cake. Mine def won't let me go past 40 and said they will either induce 39idh may take a few days ..... sweep pesseries or then cs if bubs is still breach

Bloop. So glad you had your scan. So resulting and a boy 💙💙
Bubs is very stubborn at scans and oj worked for me and made her turn

Bloopbleep · 30/01/2017 22:21

I drank oj all afternoon after reading your tip in an earlier post. He's just a lazy bugger! Thankfully I have 20 weeks before I need to think of a name as struggling with boys names

Womble75 · 30/01/2017 23:01

Awww bloop that's great news!
And a boy! Hope you feel a bit more reassured now 😊 for what it's worth DD was MUCH more active than this little one - perhaps boys just a bit more lazy 😀
I struggled with boys names. Had a whole list of girls ready but we have finally decided on a boys name. Boys seem so much harder to name.
I'm struggling a bit at the moment. Had another gallbladder attack Friday night then ended up with DD's cold yesterday and had the grand total of 2 hours sleep. Also issues with piles this time around (never had with DD) so can't even sit comfortably.. 😒
I've booked in for some "preparation for labour" reflexology near my due date with a holistic pregnancy lady to try and help things along - desperately want to avoid induction this time around if I can possibly help it - consultant midwife recommended it so fingers crossed.
Hospital tour on Saturday and then a confident birthing course the weekend after that.
Still not packed or organised anything.. did get DH to bring the cot in from the garage but still in bits.. have managed to assemble the new pushchair though!

Got stacks of washing to do and organise the wardrobe in the spare room.. sure I will get it done. One of the joys of working from home for your DH's business - never really go on maternity leave!
Sorry to hear about your mum cake. I hope
Things go ok.

Teaspoon74 · 31/01/2017 12:14

Congrats on the scan Bloop!

And sending hugs Cake - hope your mum is on the mend.

Womble that's quite a list. Don't overdo it!!

Got my 25wk tomoz with Obs not MW. Getting MatB1 feels like another big thing. And starting to get a bit anxious about prepping house, bag etc. OH is all about clearing the garden and old shed... which makes sense so we don't trail stuff through the house once bubs is here, but isn't my priority at the moment!!

Gizmojo · 31/01/2017 17:23

Oh, bloop, so pleased the scan went well. And congrats on having a boy! I am too (found out with the Harmony test) and I don't have any names yet either!

Sending you hugs, cake Flowers

Wow, womble sounds like you're really on it getting stuff organised!

teaspoon, hope your appointment goes well tomorrow.

And a wave to blondes and anyone I've missed! Smile

Teaspoon74 · 31/01/2017 22:28

Thanks Gizmo!

Heading to bed as trying to get earlier bedtimes to help with sleeplessness.

Night ladies xx

Bloopbleep · 01/02/2017 09:42

Good luck with the appointment teaspoon Youce still got loads of time for nesting. (Autocorrect wants to change that to beating!)

Teaspoon74 · 01/02/2017 18:26

Thanks Bloop!

Went well today. BP down. MatB1 sorted. And weight down since weighed in November. With weight of bubs factored in I reckon I'm about 11lbs lighter... which is weird, but not unwelcome so long as bubs is ok!

Bloopbleep · 03/02/2017 01:12

Had a bit of a scare this evening. Guy bumped into the back of our car so dd & I ended up in a&e who then sent me to the MAU. Everything is ok just a bit of whiplash and I got to hear the baby's heartbeat with the Doppler which is always nice. The MAU midwife was lovely and was telling me I could go to them anytime I was worried and not to be silly about not wanting to bother them (even altho I hadn't said anything of the sort) - it was very reassuring.

Blondeshavemorefun · 03/02/2017 08:51

Bloop that sounds scary. But glad for checked out and all ok with baby

My triage very nice and said always ring /come up if worried

Take things easy

Tea. Glad all went well

Teaspoon74 · 03/02/2017 12:20

Bloop so glad you're ok!

& thanks Blondes!