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Original poster

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450 replies

nikcola · 02/06/2004 23:05

im was going to change my name cause im too shook up,
i stopped taking my pill a month ago and me and dp have been having sex as normal but he hasnt been coming inside me (sorry to be graphic) my period is a week late ans i just done 2 pg tests and they are both positive i really dont want to be pg and i dont no what to do im s**ting myself the docs is shut till tuesday what do i do

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Original poster
nikcola · 10/07/2004 00:05

so they wont belive him oh that makes me feel a bit better, dd is fast asleep and ive got swolen eyes like a fish im really worn out

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mummytosteven · 10/07/2004 00:06

also nickola - you are entitled to money from your partner to support your lo - tho if you are on benefits I suspect that you would be no better off if you got the Child Support Agency involved -though morally I think he should support you. Someone else may of course have advice to the contrary who knows more about benefits than me...

mummytosteven · 10/07/2004 00:07

oh honey you are going through such an awful time at the moment - sorry to sound so strident about your partner - just the way he is treating you is so absolutely terrible. How are you feeling physically today?

motherinferior · 10/07/2004 00:07

Course they bloody won't. Why the hell should they? They get nutters ringing them up all the time about how Missis So and so down the road is running a brothel when all that's happened is that she had the electricians in.

motherinferior · 10/07/2004 00:08

Now take it easy, honey, and chill out for a bit. And never forget it's one arsehold against 1,000 of us!

Original poster
nikcola · 10/07/2004 00:10

that made me laught for the first time in ages mixxxxxx
mummytosteven im ok just really nackered still feel pg though wich i dont like

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mummytosteven · 10/07/2004 00:13

oh dear that must be really freaking you out. it does take a little while for the hormone levels to go down completely to zero, so guess it could take up to a week or two for the pg symptoms to go away. you need plenty of support atm - is there any friends you could spend time with atm to distract you from what an arse your bloke is being?

lou33 · 10/07/2004 00:16

I think it says an awful lot about the character of this person, when instead of comforting and supporting you for what you have just been through, he is asking for bj's and threatening you with the police, falsely accusing you of benefit fraud.

I wonder how he would feel if a pushed a veggie peeler up his arse for a while, then asked him to perform sexual acts on me immediately afterwards?

Actually the peeler part sounds quite appealing.

Original poster
nikcola · 10/07/2004 00:24

this is proberly illigal but so what , i just ordered a bracelet for me and a toy for dd off ebay useing dps paypal account

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Original poster
nikcola · 10/07/2004 00:40
Grin
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nutcracker · 10/07/2004 01:12

Good for you Nik.

I cannot belive how he is treating you. You really don't owe him anything at all, and everything that he saiys is rubbish.
You are a lovely person and you don't deserve to be treated in this way.

Have youever though any more about moving to brum ?? I would be only to happy to help you sort out somewhere to live if you wanted too.

Original poster
nikcola · 10/07/2004 01:19

im seriously thinking about it nutty i look into ot tomorow xxxxxx

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maisystar · 10/07/2004 01:25

nikcola hope your ok, did you get the fish?!

just a thought , if you really want to leave your dp you could maybe start a new thread, everytime you thought of going back to him i'm sure there would be a mn around to offer support

sorry if i've said completely the wrong thing but like i said was just a thought xxxx

Original poster
nikcola · 10/07/2004 01:35

nayh i didnt get the fish i felt to shitty but we are going to get them tomorow unless she forgets its a good idea about the new thread though xxxxx

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unicorn · 10/07/2004 01:46

sorry nikcola- very late to this thread- but just to reiterate what everyone else says here.

You are worth more than this.
You are a responsible parent - and role model.
You can choose whatever you want to do.

Give yourself the power- and believe in yourself- you can shake this creep, and make a real life for yourself and your dd.
Take a deep breath and say F**k you mate... you are OUT of my life.
Please.xxxxxxxxx

fairyfly · 10/07/2004 01:48

Nik with regards to the fraud even if they thought you were up to something, which they wont, all they would do is take a couple of pounds out of your claim each week until the amount was paid back. Nothing to fear, his threats are useless.

Original poster
nikcola · 10/07/2004 02:38

thank you, right im absolutley worn out im going to bath and bed see you all in morning nite xxxxxxxxxx

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maisystar · 10/07/2004 02:40

night nikki xxx

Original poster
nikcola · 10/07/2004 02:55

its here tammy xxxxx nitexxxxx

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tammybear · 10/07/2004 03:11

hey nikki, just read your thread. ill chat to you on msn sometime, but just wanted to say that i think you're doing really well with everything you've had to put with. he sounds like a b***d, and doesnt deserve you caring for him. and being on your own isnt the end of the world. im technically on my own, just me and dd, and have been for almost a year now, and ive managed somehow. hoepfully if i pass my test tomorrow and get a car, i can come visit you. take care hun. xxx

gscrym · 10/07/2004 12:03

Nikcola, use Nutty's offer of help with finding somewhere else in Brum. With the government trying to get people into nursing, there should be some sort of help available but please get away.

Blu · 10/07/2004 14:11

Oh Nikki, poor you. Sorry, have been offline all w/e, DS poorly.

You needed time to be calm and look after yourself - not all this aggro!
he really does take the biscuit - HE 'can't take it'? But he's marrying someone else. Does he really think you should be happy about that and carry on as normal?
And this 'white slag' business is outrageous. So what are you supposed to be when he marries his Mummies choice of virgin - his white slag on the side?

Take no notice of any of it. You are sweet and lovely and funny and clever enough to have got a college place. Why wouldn't a lovely man want you as a partner? Look how many MN-ers have found a good and loving and supportive relationship after making a new start with their baby in tow. But most of all, the most important person who should be loving you (apart from DD) is YOU. Would you ever want you DD to feel as if no-one would want her? No! So why should her proud and good Mummy feel like that?

I hope that you can get a little peace and rest, enjoy yourself with DD and enjoy the sunshine.

Original poster
nikcola · 10/07/2004 21:38

thank you blue and tammybear xxxxx

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Samcj · 10/07/2004 22:00

I know I haven't posted here before, but I've had a look through and it looks like you have been through a hell of a lot this year. Just wanted to tell you what I thought when I nearly split up with DP when I found out I was pregnant. The way I saw it was any man I would meet in the future who would be prepared to take me and my child on would likely to be worth his weight in gold, and well worth the wait!! By looking at things like this and sorting out for my life to be without DP I felt so empowered and strong and as though I would be able to deal with anything! Try to be upbeat after this difficult time, think of all the positives, whatever they may be and look forward to a more positive future. I wish you all the best. x

tammybear · 11/07/2004 02:05

hey nikki, just re-reading your thread as i skipped bits last night whilst i was reading it. i feel for you hun. he sounds like a complete t*sser and you do deserve better. my exp took advantage of me and made me feel so low and i had no confidence. i couldnt even leave the house without him. i felt like i was completely dependant on him as i thought who would want me as i have dd. but i finally plucked up the courage to chuck him out of my house after he raped me. it is such a daunting thought, but it is amazing how independant you become and how much your confidence grows.

if he goes to the police about you "commiting benefit fraud" he has no proof, and if anything they will just do a check up, see hes lying, and may even get in trouble for wasting their time! and im presuming he is your dd's father, you should go to CSA and they will get him to give you the money you are owed.

there are decent men out there, and i too had the thought that i would be alone for the rest of my life as im a young mum but there are some young guys willing to take that responsibility. my dp is 19 and loves dd (although at the moment we're having trouble so maybe not the best of examples) or there was a time i went out with my friend and this guy started flirting with me, and i told him i had a dd, and he turned around and said he had one too and "ooo look how much we have in common". he seemed really nice.

im not too far away from you, so i will try my best to come and see you (damn failing my driving test ) but we will see each other at the mumsnet meetup. and hopefully we can even go out one evening and find you a decent man! cos you deserve it. you're a wonderful person, and as the others have said, you are basically doing this on your own. even though he is there, he's not helping you, he's just using you. think of how less stressed you will be without him, and how happy when you meet someone new who you may not get to meet cos you're stuck with that loser (sorry but he's made me really mad for you)

take care hun xxx (sorry its a bit long)