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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Termination advice please...

173 replies

clothears · 04/01/2007 12:11

Hi, this is a fairly nervous entry. I found out I was pregnant before christmas and because it is an accident and the relationship is extremely new I have been trying to convince myself to have a termination. But im really sturggling with the decision. It would mean having 2 children with 2 different fathers and Im currently a single mum and DD father is not interested. Im scared because I want it and scared because I dont. Is there anyone out there willing to give me hardcore advice??

Please??

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expatinscotland · 04/01/2007 13:42

Cloth,
FWIW, I was so worried about my relationship w/DD1 when DD2 was born, too. She was 2.5 when DD1 was born and has had gross motor skills delays.

I felt this horrible feeling, like I'd betrayed her.

I couldn't have been more wrong!

She's fine w/her baby sister. She's had to learn about sharing and amusing herself more now that DD2 is here, but she goes round singing 'I'm a big sister' all the time.

kittylette · 04/01/2007 13:42

lulumama a rhetorichal question, is a question where the answer is in the question,

yours wasnt

clothears · 04/01/2007 13:43

I may need to be a bit clearer. I fell pregnant with my DD in the middle of a nervous breakdown, was lucky cause i have a very supportive family. I had a horrendous pregnancy but have been constantly glad I did it. I am worried that if something should happen and I have another break down that maybe my child/children could be taken away. Dont misunderstand me, Im a really strong person and I doubt this would ever happen but I have to consider it given my history,

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Socci · 04/01/2007 13:43

Message withdrawn

expatinscotland · 04/01/2007 13:43

I've had PND twice, too.

Please let your midwives in on how you are feeling, should you decide to continue w/the pregnancy.

The second time round wasn't as bad b/c I was able to get help straightaway.

lulumama · 04/01/2007 13:44

not going to debate the semantics with you kitty........

Saturn74 · 04/01/2007 13:44

kittlette: re "im soooo sorry you are in this situation clothears, and i am even sorrier that all this has comeabout on a thread that you wanted support from, but when someone challenges my beliefs i cant just walk away, i have to voice them".

Yes you can just walk away. No you don't have to voice your beliefs.

Everyone sees threads that they have strong opinions about, but perhaps they have the tact or empathy to refrain from hammering them home relentlessly at every opportunity.

Of course everyone is entitled to their opinions, but shouldn't everyone also consider the effect of their comments on a particular thread?

I think you suggested starting a new thread? I think that would be a very good idea.

lulumama · 04/01/2007 13:44

this is about clothears...

lulumama · 04/01/2007 13:45

the thread has been started and linked

Socci · 04/01/2007 13:45

Message withdrawn

clothears · 04/01/2007 13:46

Expat - thats so useful and I will really consider this. She is an amazing child who sleeps well, eats well, talks well, happy with others etc etc. Therefore maybe she would be amazing with another child or maybe it will dirupt her. I cannot tell you how many directions Im pulling myself in internally. Maybe the decision alone is enough to set me off balance. BTW - the humourous comments before were actually much appreciated. Its important to me to remember that humour still exists whilst im feeling sick, bloated and horrible along with stressed with this hanging over me. You have all been so amazing. Thank you

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bundle · 04/01/2007 13:47

kittylette, you've been asked nicely a number of times to express your firmly held beliefs elsewhere so please do so. why on earth do you think clothears would want to email you?

piglit · 04/01/2007 13:48

You've obviously done a fantastic job raising your dd and you certainly sound strong enough to do it again.

Good luck with whatever decision you take.

Blu · 04/01/2007 13:52

You see, when I talk of your instinct to continue, I am someone who has had a termination and not gireved at all. And as Dragon says, saw that pregnancy as a problem, not a baby. Totally different from when I was pg with DS and wanted the baby with all my heart.

So I think it would be very hard to terminate a pg where basically, you want the child.

But it is still very hard to separate 'fantasies' of a perfect life from what is possible. Actually, when push comes to shove, of course you would cope with being a single parent of two, and love your child very much too. So are you looking for a practical reason to 'enable' you to say 'I must terminate' because guilt over termination stops you from choosing it? iyswim? And that is an open question. Are you looking for 'reasons' to 'justify' a feeling that you feel you can't voice?

If your relationship is going to collapse, it will with or without the baby. You won't cause the collapse of the relationship (if it has potential) by having the baby. You won't save the relationship by a termination. IME only, of course . Actually, amongst people I know, generally if a termination occurs, the relationship flounders soon after...it kind of signifies that the relationship wasn't strong enough.

No answers, just trying to think of it from different angles.

it must be going round and round in your head.

Quootiepie · 04/01/2007 13:53

CLothears - I donbt like to preach and say yes, or no... BUT, I was very undecided and felt very swept along by the GP to have it, as well as the hospitals "cousellor". Im now, 2 years later having to get specialist help for PTSD. All I can say, what might you regret more - a termination or having a baby? DONT worry about having a baby with 2 different dads. You are their mum, and im sure you can more than cope. You can email me at

[email protected] if you want help, either way.

{{hugs}}

expatinscotland · 04/01/2007 13:57

'DONT worry about having a baby with 2 different dads.'

No doubt!

This isn't the 1950s!

Aviatrix · 04/01/2007 13:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

willow2 · 04/01/2007 13:57

Blu - what a fantastic post. (See, us oldies have our uses.)

clothears · 04/01/2007 13:58

Blu what you say sounds really accurate. guilt is a huge part of it. I agree also with what you say about the relationship.
Im looking for some way to make this easier when in reality it shouldnt be easy - its a hard decision. Im not religious but empathise with those who are and believe termination is wrong. I know its a potential baby, I know I could cope with another but its a huge risk to my mental health and the life i live with my daughter. Becuase i have always been pro choice I am stunned at how hard this decision is. My family would be supportive if I had another but prob not as supportive as I would need. I would have no babysitters and therefore would struggle with things like continuing my college course etc

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Blu · 04/01/2007 13:59

Clothears - but it wasn't your pg that caused the breakdown, was it? And are that fantastic family still around?

I know of a NHS midwifery service close to me that specialises in supporting the pgs of women who have had mental health problems. I understand that you are nervous, and with good cause, but don't let fear put you off if having the baby is what you wnat to do...there may be support, and forewarned is forearmed!

willow2 · 04/01/2007 14:00

Lord, my mum had four kids with two different men... and she's now on her third marriage. Obviously, we kids think she's a loon but most of her friends seem to take her perfectly seriously

yorkshirelass79 · 04/01/2007 14:00

Message withdrawn

clothears · 04/01/2007 14:00

Aviatrix - wow really. I guess thats what I have been thinking... wanting. To be back in the position I was prior to getting preg. I thought that was achievable but I guess your right - hadnt thought of it like that. Thats another perspective to consider. Gosh

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hunkermunker · 04/01/2007 14:00

Clothears, I don't know if I can help at all to set your mind at rest about the relationship you have with your DD being affected - I'll try.

My DS1 was 21mo when I had DS2, so he was exactly a year when I fell pg. I never worried that I'd be able to love another baby enough (you do, of course you do - love grows big enough for everybody, and the more there are of you, the more there is to go round somehow), but I did worry about DS1 and how he'd be affected by having another sibling while he still seemed so little and dependent on me.

He's a sensitive little boy (he woke in the night the other night, crying because Thomas Tank Engine had "too many jobs to do" ), and he worries about things (he's 2.9 now).

He was fine with DS2. Utterly, totally fine. They adore each other. In fact, having DS2 around has been very, very good for him, and for me - I've not had the time to worry as much about the little things with him, and I think he's benefited from that, because I have a tendency to over-think things (never, I hear you say!).

DS2 is a boisterous little chap - very different from DS1, but they complement one another very well. DS1's job is to remember DS2's Panda when we go out - and he often says things like, "Don't worry, DS2, Grandad will fix it/Daddy will wipe it/Mummy will help" - he's always the first one to tell me when DS2 needs milk, or if he's crying(!).

I am pro-choice, very definitely, so this isn't intended to be a guilt-trippy post. I can't tell you what to do, I don't know the ins and outs of your mental health or your relationship with your new partner (who, from what you've said he sounds like a decent chap). I just wanted you to know what it's like on "the other side", to hear it from someone who worried about having a small gap between children, who worried about the relationship with her firstborn - but who needn't have done.

I wish you strength and happiness in the future. Keep posting, keep talking to people (on here and in RL), and don't make any hasty decisions x x x

clothears · 04/01/2007 14:01

Yorkshirelass - thank you so much for your support. x

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