Pregnancy after infertility

[bananafish81]

Thought I’d start this thread as I find myself feeling quite out of place on the ‘normal’ antenatal club threads - find it difficult to relate to being upduffed after 'just' having some sex, and thinking ahead to buying maternity clothes, how much maternity leave to take, where I’d like to give birth etc

I realise it’s entirely my own issues and that infertility world has clouded my views, but I want to scream ‘DON’T YOU KNOW EVERYTHING THAT COULD GO WRONG!!’.

There’s a thread for pregnancy after previous loss, but thought there might be some kindred spirits who are navigating the world of pregnancy after infertility

Hi everyone, sorry it's been a while since I've been in the thread. A lot has happened over the past couple of weeks. Our first scan show 2 sacs and 1 heartbeat. I started bleeding and had another scan a couple of days later which showed 2 sacs and 2 heartbeats. The bleeding stopped and Ive had brown spotting for 2 weeks. I've had another scan at 8 weeks and one twin didn't make it, probably died at 7 weeks. The remaining one was bouncing around quite happily. The next milestone is the 12 week scan which is in 3 weeks time. Boy that's going to be nerve wracking x

Anyone up? I've had more bleeding again tonight and I'm away for the weekend at a hen party. Really feel like calling it quits and going home as I don't feel up to celebrating, everyone is drinking and I'm just a bag of nerves in the corner. I've come up to bed and may go home in the morning as I will need another anti d, or I could try and arrange it at the hospital here. What would you do? Why does this have to keep happening?

Hi HP07 I'm sorry this is happening. I think you need to look after yourself and do what you need to do to keep your self well. If it was easy I would probably go home. You have made the effort to be there the bride can see you have tried. Just make sick excuses and go. However, if you think being there will help, stay and enjoy yourself as it won't change anything.

I keep asking myself why as well. I started spotting yesterday. Had a small bright red spot on wiping. Then a dark brown smear after BM. Today 3 bright red smears on wiping. 2 after BM. One first thing. Had a blood test today to measure HGC at fetal medicine.nthey called at 4:55 to say that it's high and that to come in for scan on Monday at 9. DH didn't get enough time to ask for time of work so I have to go by myself. God I feel like a pity party recently.
While I was sitting in hospital thinking I was miscarrying my sil sent a lovely pic of her 12 week scan through. She doesn't know about this but she does have great timing without trying. While I was having a lap and dye she called dh to tell him she was pregnant. I am really happy for her though. Just wish I could get it as easy.

HP, I've bled pretty much constantly throughout this pregnancy but am still 17 weeks with twins. They think it's my cervix. Still scary though.

I think I will go home after breakfast, expensive waste of money but I am struggling to sleep and I just don't feel like being cheery when Im worried about the baby. I'd rather be at home with my husband. I know the bride will understand as she knows everything that has happened to get this far and knows what has been happening over the past week. I just don't want to spoil her weekend with my mood.

Hey HP, I'd go home if I were in your shoes. Sorry you're having a rough weekend x

HP07 and birchy - really sorry to hear about the bleeding/spotting. I had some around 6 weeks and hours of frantic googling tells me that it genuinely often has nothing to do with miscarriage - but I know that's hard to believe.

sweety - you must have quite mixed feelings but it's great news that one of your twins is looking healthy.

For me, additional scans are not so much about the money as about knowing that I could get a bit addicted to doing them and I don't think, on balance, it would be good for my stress levels. I'm glad we did one at 6w5d after some bleeding, that put my mind at rest, but I am trying to avoid further private scans at this point. Partly because I think the NHS, after what happened last time, will give me some extra ones anyway.

10 days till my 12 week scan...

Hi, thanks ladies. I am home because today's activities involved a lot of walking and i feel like I need to rest at home where I feel comfortable. I have been to see the midwife and she said I don't need anymore anti d now I've had enough but she checked the fetal heart rate with the doppler and all appears well. So stressful.

HP07 hope you're feeling better this evening xx

Thank you, feeling slightly more reassured. Very tired and warn out still. Think I will have an early night.

Glad you're feeling better, HP.

Hoping everyone has a nice calm experience from here on in.

I'm just reporting in to let you all know that DD2 was born on Wednesday by ELCS, and everyone is doing well. I was in theatre having the spinal sited and I STILL didn't really believe that I was going to have a baby. Natural conception after infertility is quite a headfuck, but now she's here it's easier to believe! DD1 is very taken with her too, which is a huge relief.

Best wishes to everyone, and I hope the next ~40 weeks fly by for you all :)

HP - How are you doing lovely? I really hope this is just a scary blip.

Birchy - How are you? I'm so sorry to hear about the last few days. That's horrendous timing with your SIL. I'm so sorry. I also really hope this is just a scary blip.

Evil - That's great news! Huge congratulations!x

Evil congratulations - enjoy this very special time!

Flat, I'm still spotting, mixture of bright red and dark. It's not all the time but has happened everyday this past 3 days. Today I feel a bit of pressure - not sure if that's normal? And feel very bloated.
Appt tomorrow so will hopefully find out more at that. I've kinda got over initial fear this is all going wrong and going wrong now to - this could still go wrong but actually hasn't went wrong just yet. I'm wearing liners which have been clear. (Sorry for TMI). How are you doing flat white?

HP - how are things with you today?

Birchy, how far along are you? I'm only 5+1 and experiencing the same as you describe. I've been going out of my mind with worry. The past 3 days I've had heavy spotting. When I got up this morning and went to the loo I wiped and the tissue was full of red blood. It's been on and off all day. I also put on a pad but it hasn't reached that. It seems to have maybe got a little lighter and more pink this afternoon but I'm so scared it doesn't look right to me. Going to ring my clinic in the morning and see what they say. I haven't had any cramping, pain or clots which is something I guess.

HP, glad all was ok when you saw the midwife. Hope things settle down for you now.

Oh what a total head fuck Birchy. I really hope you get some good news tomorrow.

I'm ok thanks. Had a scan yesterday and things are still ok (phew). I just don't dare relax for a minute though!

Thanks guys. I am still spotting brown today and have some dull aching but as midwife said yesterday I would know if the pain was a miscarriage as at this stage it would be very painful, much more than any period pain, so is probably stretching. I have booked a private scan for weds to see if they can find the source or if it's more likely cervical.

Evil that's great news, congratulations. Birchy, hope you're OK. Flat white I'm glad that your scan went well yesterday.

Flat glad to hear our scan went well. How many weeks are you now? It is a total head fuck I keep getting butterflies when I think of being pregnant and then a bit of a reality check hits that I'm bleeding.

Lucie I'm 5+1 today as well. As much as I don't wish this for you it's so reassuring that someone else is in same boat.

Birchy and Lucie I had comstant brown spotting until nearly 11 weeks pregnant, in fact I have only had about 3 weeks (out of almost 16) of my pregnancy where I haven't spotted at all. It's so worrying but it doesn't always mean the worst. I should take some of my own advice and try not to panic but I know how you feel.

Or even constant!

How far gone were you when you started your spotting HP? How did you even manage to get through those weeks. You must have been so worried. I would be lost at the minute with you guys.

I was spotting since ovulation! Until 10w 5d. I had spotting issues every month since I came off the pill whilst we were ttc (2 years) so although it was worrying it was also quite 'normal' for me. This bleeding I'm currently having is much more of a worry as it's bright red. Had some more this evening so I am going to try and push my private scan up to tomorrow. My sister also bled heavily in her pregnancy.

I know we should try to relax and not stress but I can't help it.

HP that's really interesting about the spotting. Hopefully what Birchy's going through right now is the same thing. It just seems so cruel - we all went through SO MUCH heartache to get here, so surely it should be straightforward for us now! We deserve a short respite from all the anxiety. I really hope it's good news all round this week.

Birchy - I'm 12 weeks 1 day. It still doesn't really feel real as I don't feel anything. I told a friend tonight and it just feels like I'm telling her some sort of made up story and there isn't REALLY a baby in there.

Hp, I wouldn't be so worried if it was brown old blood but the bright red soaked toilet tissues really scared me and the fact it's been like this for a few days now.

Birchy, I wrote a long post to you earlier but looks like it's disappeared! I know what you mean and whilst we wouldn't wish this on each other it's good to have somebody else to talk about it with.

I have had exactly what you describe, I had lots of red bleeding this morning and then on and off throughout the day but more on than off. This afternoon it started getting a little lighter and more pink than red and this evening it has stopped altogether for about 3 hours so far but I'm sure it will be back. I have been on clexane and aspirin but am stopping those this evening to see if it helps. I am also going to use the suppositories in the back rather than the front incase they are irritating the cervix. It's really good your clinic is going to scan you tomorrow. I am being treated on the NHS and my first scan is in 2 weeks time and I doubt they will bring it forward. I will give them a ring in the morning and see what they say about it all though. Good luck with your scan hope it goes ok.

Anyway birchy and hp from what I have read so far today many, many women have bleeding in both early and later on in pregnancy and it can be ok more often than not so fingers crossed for us.

lucie - I am being treated on NHS as well. Maybe as I have also had some mild cramps they may want to scan me. I think I got very lucky were receptionist made a mistake and booked me in to early with community midwife. So i unloaded what was happening to her on Friday - so she contacted the unit and phoned me an hour later saying to go down straight away and they would do blood tests, that it was to early to scan. Then they called with the results that evening saying levels were high enough that the consultant thought that they might be able to see something. I guess the worry is also if its ectopic - I think that's what they are worrying about for me and why they are scanning as I also have had cramps (and possibly think i was taking clomid). In addition to this my midwife didnt seem to know much - I told her I had been on clomid last year. She didnt know what clomid was !!!! didnt know how to spell it and I think she has told the clinic that I was on it. But no-one would give me a chance to speak when I got to the clinic for blood tests so I didnt get a chance to correct them. I asked the nurse what the blood tests were that they were doing and she looked at me like I was thick and said well a pregnancy test, thats why you are here isnt it - you think you are pregnant. Then I asked if they were measuring progesterone and she said sarcastically well you cant test one with out the other can you. So I didnt ask anything else or say anything other than thanks when I was leaving. To be honest my experience there wasnt great!

I think 7 weeks is the ideal time for an early scan as its unlikely to detect a heart beat before then. I was so surprised they told me to come on monday.

I am also anxious about having the scan because if its my cervix thats bleeding will a vaginal scan make it bleed more. Plus I have a titled pelvis so they have to press really hard to see in my uterus (experience from clomid scans). Aghhh

Flat - you are so right, I thought I had been through so much to get here I would get the most perfect pregnancy - how wrong was I!

12 weeks!! So exciting, I really am so over the moon for you! Was it just amazing seeing the scan? I hope I get to see that with this little one (Poppy, Ive named her. Her size when I found out about the pregnancy :-))

HP you have got so far with spotting so that is reassuring for me. I think you should try and take some reassurance from it as well. I think a scan will help you though and hopefully they can find the source to reassure you even further!

Hi everyone, I'm so glad to find this thread and would like to join in if that's OK.

I am 7 weeks pregnant after a second cycle of ICSI. After TTC for 3 years it's still a shock, sometimes I feel like it still hasn't sunk in! This cycle was done privately after a failed NHS cycle last year. Having to choose a clinic, I did so much more research and therefore did so many things differently, I felt much more prepared this time but still I am terrified of something going wrong!

But I have had early pregnancy symptoms (nausea, heartburn, tiredness) and that makes it feel a bit more real.

I had a bra fitting today and have gone up 2 sizes already! Has anyone else had that that early on? I'm not sure whether they will keep growing?!

I have first scan on Wednesday, very excited.