Pregnant at forty and over - thread 2

[cloudjumper]

To continue the support for those of us who are pregnant at forty and over.

Congratulations, shabbychic1, on getting to 22 weeks today!

I hope so shabby, thank you! I have two older kids, nearly 12 and 15.

leotwist lovely, lovely post - high five! Massive congrats to you and may you be childish and ridiculous for many years to come. I certainly plan to be

MrE congrats!

Whatabanana congrats to you too! Hope the early weeks speed by!

I mostly just lurk on this thread but it's lovely to see some posts and some newcomers. I'm 43 and 30+5 with DC2 of unknown flavour. Already have DD who is 2.

Fantastic post Leotwist, you tell them! You have every right to be a parent and I don't think 50 is too old at all! Sounds like you are so much more sorted than a lot of the " younger" mums out there ( including myself when I was pregnant with my first at 32, 10 years ago) wish you all the happiness in the world, enjoy every minute xx

Thanks everyone for all your lovely comments on my post -- what a great bunch you are! People might also find this article interesting: The agony and ecstasy of becoming an older mother (Aug 2015, Guardian) gu.com/p/4bzpn/sbl. Not sure I agree entirely with the author's tone/approach/conclusions but it's worth reading anyway. Hope everyone's got the sunshine we have today. Off out in it now for a hill romp!

Hi there, can I join your lovely discussion? I'm 40 and 11 weeks with my first. Feeling really nervous and very much looking forward to the first scan (13+5) so that I am sure there is something really there! I've been told by midwife that my age means I have to have consultant-led care, but other than that, not the long lectures I had expected from the doctors and midwife, about my age. I am impressed with your story leotwist. Good for you!

Congratulations Rugby! I'm 40 and preg with my first too! So exciting isn't it? And so wanted! I haven't had any lectures about age/ weight or anything, I think apart for consultant led, it's much more common to have 'mature' mums these days. Good luck for your scan, it'll be so lovely to see your little one for the first time.

Forgot to say, my GTT came back normal and I don't have gestational diabetes. Yay! V pleased as some people (not health care profs) seemed to expect it with my weight. So very pleased!!

Long live defying stereotypes!

Hello! Thanks shabby - great news about GTT test. That's good! How far along are you? leotwist - yes absolutely!

Congrats Rugby! Hope the next couple of weeks go quickly - it's agonising waiting for scans!

And hooray shabby for 'passing' your GTT! We have a pre-test here and I passed that, so didn't have to have the full GTT, which was good!

I'm having a couple of extra scans as a result of being an old biddy - apparently things have changed since I had DD and now consultants like to see us at least once during pregnancy. Midwife said 'oh it'll be a waste of time, they'll probably say why are you here etc' and told me to go in prepared to be made to feel like a twat (or words to that effect!) But when I had my appt he was very nice and said it was up to me how much I was monitored as everything seems low-risk, as was previous birth. So we agreed on two growth scans at 28/32w and if alls well, I'll be left alone. Possibly for a homebirth if that's what I decide.

But at no point has anyone else made mention of my age, let alone a big deal of it. Same in my first pregnancy. I was pleasantly surprised tbh!
dats 30+5

Lol Leo yes it's great to smash stereotypes! Damn pleased about the GTT test! Rugby I'm 22 weeks, just feeling the kicks and loving it!
I really enjoy the antenatal apts (apart from the waiting area and some of the sweary clientele! Only hospital in big city ) as I've either seen my baby in scan or heard heartbeat and it makes me happy each time!!

Welcome Ruby and congrats! Fab news re your results Shabby. I agree with the comments about medical
Staff. I expected to be judged being an older mum and lectured by doctors/ midwives, it hasn't happened at all they've all been lovely and reassuring! It's refreshing to experience. I also have to see the consultant but thought that might have more to do with having had x2 CS rather than my age. Anyway what a lovely group this is! Good luck with anyone getting a scan this week, hope all goes well.

Hi Rugby congratulations.

I read that article, one thing that is annoying is the implication that all older mums are IVF etc.

mrE yes I agree. And also the comments about older men becoming fathers which has been going on for years. Yet which the article brushes away/doesn't follow up. We really don't live in an equal world do we?!

Happy Sunday All!
Agreed, MrE and Rugby, about the Guardian article and so many other reservations too. Interesting that Facebook and Apple are offering to pay for female employees to have their eggs frozen. But lots of reservations about that too!
See: www.businessinsider.com/apple-facebook-egg-freezing-benefit-is-bad-for-women-2014-10?IR=T

leotwist really interesting article and much more focuses on real equality than anything I've read. All too often it's a blame the mother culture of 'you put your career first' or 'you left children too late' but as usual, the structures of society and business - and the politics - are mysteriously left out of the equation.

That is complete bonkers. Makes no thought to the children of older parents. Would certainly make more sense to support working mums, mat leave & nanny than delay becoming a mum. The baby stage is hard regardless of when you do it.

Like most others on here I'm 41 not by choice. Met hubby af 32, DS born at 36 started trying again at 37, 4 years TTC.

Completely agree MrE - in. Are anyone thought I was thinking these big businesses had the right idea with offering to freeze eggs, I was being positive about the tone/message of the author who says it would make more sense to spend that money on crèches and childcare etc. I hate the way women are blamed personally for being mothers - at any point on their lives!

Ps. I meant "in case anyone " not "are anyone"!

How are you all doing? I'm a little concerned that my morning sickness seems to have eased off I'm only about 8 weeks so seems really early.

Hi MrE - oh I know how that could feel worrying. Though I thought it eased off at some point and everyone is different. Maybe it will resurge later! Have you had your booking in appt yet? You could ask your midwife whether it's worth worrying about?

Hope everyone else is ok. I am just still on the long wait to the scan and will be 12 weeks this Thursday.

I remember with my first pregnancy I was sick enough to be vomiting on the street and on the bus, but with my second I was worried as I didn't need to vomit at all. At the moment I feel pretty much fine and am worried yet again, though am not yet six weeks so it could kick in later? I want to tell my mum I'm pregnant but I am not convinced it's real or will last. Am going to ring re my booking appointment today.

whatabanana - exciting! I hope you got your booking in appointment? I know - I desperately want to tell everyone! I told my mum about 8 weeks I think. But it's still only mums that know!!

I have an early scan booked for Monday, its not as early as it should be but stuff got in the way. Will sort booking after that.