Pregnant at forty and over - thread 2

[cloudjumper]

To continue the support for those of us who are pregnant at forty and over.

Congratulations Grizzer

Aw grizzer congratulations!!!

Congratulations Grizzer, that's such lovely news. I hope you've got some rest and your lad is settling in well.

Can you give us weight and name?

Happy New Year everyone! We had our first night at hope and ds was an angel. Apparently swaddling isn't recommended anymore but he has a strong reflex action at the moment and was constantly waking himself up so I tried it and it worked really well. He was so much more settled & with it being winter & using a thin sheet I wasn't concerned about him over heating. I slept for the first night in 3 days!!
His name is Declan Archie and he is almost 3.4kg (7.4lbs) Dh is Irish so we had a long debate on a name that would work in Ireland & England & everyone could spell. Dd is Ciara (Keira) and everyone here still spells it wrong after 5 years!!
Have a fabulous 2016 full of happy healthy pregnancies xx

Hey all. Hope you've had a good start to the year. Quick question. I think it might have been cheapredwine who mentioned a vanishing twin. I just wanted to ask when you found out. Had you had an earlier scan where you saw both or was it at your first that you found out? Im 9 weeks now and see the mw on monday, all seems ok at the moment but after a mmc I still worry I might have lost one or both. Im hoping my mw will suggest a scan else I might go and pay for one.
Hope your babies are eating and sleeping well Grizzer and Cloud.
I still have lots of catch up reading to do.

Gm all! Just a quick question from me too re maternity Bra.
-When did u start wearing them? -Any recommendations as to where I can get good ones?
-Are there any maternity bras that can be used during pregnancy and after delivery too for breastfeeding? -Do these dual purpose bras hv any downside?
-Do u know anything about hv/dont hv underwired/no underwired bras during pregnancy?

Would appreciate ur earliest responses as planning to do the shopping today. TIA xxxx

Ps: Slinky I am sorry to hear about ur previous loss. Congratulations on ur current pregnancy. I can totally feel ur anxiety. Out of 5 rmcs I had, one of them was mmc at 8 wks. I was worrying like u on the subsequent pregnancy.

As far as I understand, Vanishing twin is usually picked up on a f/u scan after an early scan. So say u had a 6-7 week scan- twins! Then a f/u scan at 8-9 weeks- singleton! So basically one of fetus is reabsorbed and u establish a single heart beat.

Its a loss but medically its considered blessing in disguise as the fetus is usually not viable. But the good news is the surviving fetus is usually completely healthy and is unaffected and women go on to deliver those babies to term.

If this happens later in pregnancy then thats a different story.

Hope ur mw does request a scan for u soon so it reassures u. Let us know how u get on. Wish u all the best xx

Grizzer what a lovely name! Thank u for sharing abt Declan! yes they recommend no swaddling due to risk of SIDS but well done for settling him and securing a good night sleep for urself too. Keep up updated with more. We are loving this xxx

Who is next to give birth here?? Isla or City? I know Brook is in second trim at the moment. Oooh I cant wait to hv another BA! Its exciting! :)

Hi Ellie, how far are you now? Thanks for your comments. I've just started wearing my old breast feeding bras as I've gone up 2 cup sizes already! I just found underwired ones too uncomfortable. I think the issue is that the wire can interfere with tissue growth. We had a lady come to playgroup who sold amazing and beautiful bras from Hot Milk. She was trained in fitting bras for pregnancy and breast feeding. You might be able to find them online. Just make sure the cup fits well under your arm as I had one fitted in a department store while pregnant that was not as 'accommodating' as it should have been.
I had a scan just after 7 weeks and 2 hb were found, I'd had some spotting. I had a small bleed after Boxing Day that came to nothing. My other 2 mc were early at 5 weeks and 7+3. The mmc was especially hard as I started spotting the day before my 12 week scan which also happened to be my sons 2nd birthday. I don't seem to get very strong preg symptoms so naturally worry that all is not well. I'm feeling quite pleased with myself for not caving in and getting a private scan yet. Just really chuffed that I've got past 8 weeks!
I'll know a lot more after the mw appointment tomorrow. Next milestone, actually getting to a booking appointment! Stay well everyone.

Happy New Year all!! grizzer what a beautiful name, welcome to Declan Archie and congrats again. Hope you are all doing well.

Ellie I needed a maternity bra pretty much at 12 weeks - my boobs were huge and sore then (although not nearly so much now at 25 weeks). I got mine from M&S - they only had nursing bras, but I thought what the heck, hopefully I'll need them. I got a rather unattractive 2 in 1 set for £29.50, but they are comfy and there's a bit of room to grow. Not exactly uplifting, but they do the job!

Fingers crossed Slinki, I know that first trimester after mc and mmc is a rollercoaster. You'll get there

Hope everyone is well.

Ellie - I needed one at about week 9 (gotta love that water retention, at 17 weeks am size of small car already!) and got measured at M & S. However, don't go too retail mad, I was advised I will probably need to go up sizes again before week 30 and it certainly looks like that will be the case.
Slinki - first trimester seems to last forever, and I spent it a nervous teary wreck, but things do get better and the ladies on here are an amazing support.
Just over 2 weeks to go until we find out team pink or blue, and I'm so excited. Really inspired by the lovely names and reasoning behind them on here. X

Oh, and whilst losing your underwire may seem daunting (I'm a big underwear junkie) and the choice seems to go predominantly beige or black, I nearly cried with relief when the new one went on! X

thanks Brook ofcourse how can i forget, u've crossed ur 2nd trim now :) now each week gone is like a mini success. Lovely! Yes even I'd not mind the look of the bra as long as it does its job. Had to postpone the shopping due to awful weather :(

Slinky i'm just past 1st trim and like Brook describes, I too am feeling sore boobs, they've def gone huge (funny one side more than the other!). Are yours symmetrical? I know a little bit of asymmetry is normal but mine looks a bit more than that ;) xx

Ps: Kat that's hillarious! Underwear Junkie..ha ha i cant wait to have a new one now! Ooh so exciting! Pls do let us know u r team pink or blue? I thought u r past 12 weeks and had ur dating scan already?! Is it Harmony u r waiting for? x

Had dating scan, but have scan at 20 weeks then every four weeks until I'm induced (current thinking at wk 39) due to great age of 40!

Not harmony - nuchal scan was low risk so no further tests offered, massive relief. Due to years of endo I suspect many scans is due to docs being unsure how much damage has been done and if it will affect pregnancy as well as the 40+ thing!

Ah i see! Big one then! Good luck xx

You dont need to lose underwires when you're pregnant or BF. I went to get measured at a department store in last pregnancy and when I mentioned underwires the assistants were disapproving to the point of being hostile (we are talking underwear here not class A drugs I was trying to buy ). I then went to Bravissimo and got fitted for an underwired bra suitable for wear during pregnancy. My boobs actually did most of their growing post birth (bit shocked as thought they had already grown enough) and ended up wearing Anita underwired feeding bras. In the early days, I did wear some shapeless ugly maternity crop top thing, but I BF until DD was 14m and during that time started f/t work, took up weightlifting, running etc so needed bras for my lifestyle as well as for BF!

Not posted much recently - am now nearly 23w and baby is furiously trying to poke a hole through my abdomen I think. Have mentioned the baby to almost 3yo DD and after some initial wonder and interest she changes the subject and gets a bit irritated

I've put on a horrendous amount of weight but am hoping now that I'm not working and it's not Christmas that I can turn things around and actually lose some. By the end of the day I feel (and look) like an anaconda that's swallowed a donkey (and fear I'll end up like one of those poor snakes that you see in those grim videos)

Belated congratulations to Grizzer

Eagle u've made me burst into laughter with ur post! Underwear vs Class A drugs!..and Anaconda who's swallowed donkey! Watching too many snake videos with DD? Ha Ha

Had heard of Bravissimo but i dont hv access to them where I live so probably hv to stick to M&S.

Congratulations on reaching 23 weeks only a week to viability. Lovely! They should hv arranged ur GTT (with urine test ofcourse) so that should tell u if ur weight is a problem medically or just anaconda stuff to ignore /reassure xx

Hello, ladies! Firstly, a massive congratulations to Cloud and Grizzer on the birth of your babies! Please, please come back and tell us about the labour (and when you lost your mucus plugs and whether your waters breaking was spectacular, and...well...everything!

Hello and welcome to the newbies. Here's hoping for a smooth and joyous pregnancy for you all.

I think I'm next to give birth Here I am at 36+3 and I think it's safe to say baby has dropped. I am 14 st 7lb I'm not overly worried as the past few months have seen me completely housebound and on crutches and so, as soon as I'm up and about (and pushing my newborn and my 21 month-old in a double buggy!) I'm confident the weight will drop off. Acupuncture has had varying success week-by-week, but I have now been told that the last four weeks will prove tough as my body becomes flooded with the hormone relaxin and my pelvis gives up the ghost completely Never mind...I'm still on course for a midwife-led-unit birth which I am very excited about.

I'm trying hard not to be patronised to death by the absurd codswollop I'm reading in some of these hypnobirthing books; I'm ploughing on in the vain hope that the correct style of breathing really can power me through the excruciating pain I encountered last time. I simply have to avoid the dratted and dastardly epidural or I know it will all be downhill from thereon in...

How are you all..and who is due to give birth after me (28th Jan)?

Slinky, I am thrilled to read your twins are safe

Thats a gorgeous bump Blooming! Good luck for the coming days x

It's interesting with the hypnobirthing Brooke, I did natal hypnotherapy which I think is pretty much the same thing. I had listened to the relaxation cd a few times & practised doing the deep breathing while doing strange things like rotating my arms or squatting for 3 minutes (strange I know but anyone can deep breathe while lying on a bed but it's not so easy during a contraction so the aim was to simulate something uncomfortable). When it came to the real thing I think it definitely helped during the early stages. I used it on the pre labour ward & when I was sent down to the labour ward I was already 4/5 cms. I decided then to have diamorphine which supposedly lasts for about an hour & a half & then would possibly have an epidural after that (I was really struggling by then). As the diamorphine was wearing off my midwife (he!!) checked me & I was 9cm so no need for the epidural. I am convinced I got to 6 or 7cm before I needed pain relief. I felt bad for having given in but I have to say the last hour was bliss. I was able to get some rest. Dh was able to lie on the floor & rest too as I didn't need constant support. By the time I came to push I was more energised & Declan was out in 20 minutes. The time from going to the labour ward & delivery was 6.5hrs.
The other reason I say it was a good thing is, in the hospital I was in everything is on one floor so at one end of the corridor you have ladies being induced, then you have a small ward with ladies in early labour & opposite them a small ward with ladies with their babies. On the first night after delivery I sat smugly in bed, drinking hot chocolate, listening to ladies panicking & yelling about the pain & they were only just at the beginning of it all. Two of the main things I got from the hypnotherapy is feeling calm through the early contractions & dh having a definite role to play.
I would also recommend googling acupressure with dh. When you practise do it very lightly but when you are in labour get him to apply loads of pressure. We just youtubed a few exercises. I'm convinced the ones in my lower back sped things up but also gave relief. Every time dh applied pressure there I had a contraction.
Because my waters had gone 36 hours before Declan made an appearance I was monitored throughout the later stages & was unable to be mobile (my birthing ball sat forlornly in the corner). I had been so determined to bounce my way through this labour & was gutted that yet again I was strapped to a bed. This was one of the main reasons I gave in to the pain relief.
Anyway, very long post but, however annoying the CDs I would definitely recommend them but without beating yourself up if you need some other help. They definitely kept me calm for the majority of the labour.
Your bump looks fabulous. Hope you are up & about soon after. I am having trouble with my groin area so have an osteo appointment tomorrow. Ibuprofen is my new best friend at the moment though!
I am aware I have written an essay so will just wave to everyone else except to say hope your appointment went well Slinky.

slinki sorry only just seen your question about the vanishing twin. I had weekly scans from 6 weeks (normal protocol at clinic am at). Two embryos but only 1 heartbeat at 6 weeks. Two heartbeats at both 7 and 8 weeks but by 8+4 there was no hb in the smaller twin. I am now 13+4 and the twin is about the same size it was when it died, which isn't unusual but they had expected it to be getting smaller by now. The second twin had always measured on the small side but had had a huge growth spurt in the week before it died and the hb was strong, so it was a bit of a shock, though I had a feeling...

Hi all,

Sorry for the silence - we've just moved house and have had wifi problems along with family over Christmas so internetting has been intermittent just when we needed the lifeline!

Grizzer - congratulations on Declan's birth - sounds like you did a really good job and what a great name. Hope you're settling into the routine well.

Harmony test results still not back. They were due between Christmas and New Year and we'd been told that if all was well we'd get an email but if there was anything bad they'd call...so I was panicking every time my phone rang. They finally did ring on the 31st (while I was at my booking appointment) so I well and truly crapped myself before calling back to be told that the first vial of my blood they'd tested didn't have enough baby DNA in it to give a result. So they've had to start again with the second vial...now, I'm no expert but the blood was all taken at the same time - why would one vial have more baby DNA than the other? Anyway, this week we'll either get the results or be called back to give more blood. Argh! Anxiety levels are bad enough as it is.

Official 12 week scan is on Thursday and I was really hoping that after that, and assuming harmony results were good, we could go public. Fingers crossed...otherwise it'll be another week at least. 13 weeks today.

Bloooming my EDD is 4th Feb but I'll be having an ELCS at 38wks so in the week from 21/1-26/1 unless they change their minds at my next appt on Thurs. TBH if it's earlier I'll be glad. Totally fed up with this being pregnant lark now. Insomnia, reflux, gestational diabetes, and being the size of a house is just getting too much.